Do You Live In A Thai Village Full Time

[macb]

But then this part of Thailand is more prosperous than Issan and local folks are more enterprising when it comes to farming of course bearing in mind the climate here is different

Hi Mac

I'm interested to know.

What is the climate like generally in the Udon Thani or Sakhon Prakhon region of Thailand compared to southern places like Bangkok & Phuket?

Is it more temperate or does it get very hot and humid?

Also what's it like around April - May?

danny

Hi mate sorry for the delay :

I can only comment on Petchabun at the moment very hot both during the day and night at the moment its 32 c in the shade in the mountain area of Petch you can see mist in the mornings I will be staying with friends in this area in January and will get some pics;

Here is a weather forecast for all of Thailand you need to be looking at North and Northeastern THailand

http://www.thaimet.tmd.go.th/Html/News/Eng/English1_1.pdf

[Gimbo]

Amazingly as I read this, I heard a racket from the neighbours chickens out in our yard. It was the wife on the chase, wielding her machete or whatever they are called here. She cought one, but did not administer imediate execution this time, as it had a bunch of newly hatched little feather balls following. But simply and quite unseremoniously threw it ower the fence.

The bloody rats with feathers have definatley discovered that there is no dog in our yard anymore.

[Gary A]

I think the government is punishing us. Since the Issan people voted for PPP, the government has seen fit to shut off our electricity. It has been off for more than four hours now and my laptop battery is at 32 percent. The electric sometimes goes on and off but usually not off for more than an hour or so. It does look like my phone battery will out last the computer battery.

[Gary A]

Must have been a false alarm. The power came back on with 13 percent battery left. The low battery alarm comes on at 10 percent so that was timed pretty well.

[Disting]

Our power went off the other night, I guess around midnight. By 5 it was still not on but we could see lights around the village. Me and the missus get up to check the breaker box etc and the meter on the pole outside. All breakers ok and the meter is dead. Then the street light flickers so we try the house lights and get a flicker from them too. Then I start to hear all the appliances making clicking noises so its race round the house in the dark trying to turn everything off. Luckily nothing damaged and the problem was sorted by 7 am. That was afirst for our area. Its either on or off, never had a low voltage problem before.

[macb]

Our power went off the other night, I guess around midnight. By 5 it was still not on but we could see lights around the village. Me and the missus get up to check the breaker box etc and the meter on the pole outside. All breakers ok and the meter is dead. Then the street light flickers so we try the house lights and get a flicker from them too. Then I start to hear all the appliances making clicking noises so its race round the house in the dark trying to turn everything off. Luckily nothing damaged and the problem was sorted by 7 am. That was afirst for our area. Its either on or off, never had a low voltage problem before.

Sounds like a power outage which used to happen a lot when I was living in the village, you would notice the fan would go slow momentarily then speed up again

[PawyiLee]

Yesterday was not a typical day in my Isaan village. I was surprised at how clean the village looked, and asked why. My wife said the cleanliness is, as it were, a once-a-year spring cleaning not to be repeated until the next BOON KHAO JEE (BOON DUAN 3.) URL <http://tinyurl.com/y96v3sw>

says it's an Isaan festival when Moon 3 waxes. Yesterday was Day 3 of waxing Moon 3, so I'm guessing the double 3 has some significance. The web site doesn't mention the spring cleaning, or the double 3, but otherwise explains that it is an Isaan, Cool Season Festival, when folks like to warm themselves by open fires, and toast sticky rice balls rolled in salt and egg until they're golden yellow. I've only "decoded" the first paragraph, which has some Isaan words NOT in my dictionary. The first is JEE (Toast) in the name of the festival (GHEE in Thai,) on down to the use of Yaw Ying in a word where it's pronounced the old-fashioned way, 'en-ya', like a Spanish N with a tilde on top.

My wife laughed when I read the site's quotation out loud; I think it means, "It's Moon 3 and I wants Khao Jee. Put a little syrup on it or I'll cry!"

[MJP]

Get up, coffee, take dump, shower, email, chase work, neighbours come round and smoke all my cigs, make tea, think about painting wall, dream about watching it dry, make tea, plan next grocery shopping expedition (highlight of month), make tea, try to start geriatric moped, daughter comes home from school, make tea, email, go to bed.

. . . and repeat.

Groundhog day.

[SantiSuk]

Blog written for family back home in June this year:

It's 7am on Friday morning and I am typing this blog sitting at a table in Ann's family home in the outside lean-to that doubles as living room, dining room and cafe for passers-by in the soy (sidestreet). We get up regularly here at 6:30 (farming hours) and already by then Ann's mother may have been to an early morning 3am market for the ingredients to make food for sale at a late afternoon market. Ann's father will have been busying himself around the house clearing up from the night before and getting some cooking underway.

The kids have all been up for an hour – all neatly dressed in their white shirts and grey skirts, sitting on the tiled floor in the inside living area and watching some TV or DVD cartoons. No I am not hiding something from you – just talking about Ann's two nieces Pookee and Nong-Paeng, 4yrs and 5yrs old and both impossibly naa-rak (cute) and Kat, a 9 year old girl that Ann's mum took under her wing a few years ago as being the daughter of a mother somewhere in the distant family that could not cope. In a manner faintly Dickensian in style Kat helps look after the kids and runs any errands frequently needed. I have a bit of a soft spot for Kat given her predicament – she's an observer and I see a Bronte novel or two brewing in her eyes.

The said table that I'm sitting on was bought by Ann for me to eat my food falang-style (falang = white Westerner). I protested loudly at that time, and ever since, that I am quite capable of sitting on the floor with the rest of the family and friends/passers-by to dip into the communal bowls of Isaan food. But they just laugh at my attempts to ungainly fold my legs somewhere under my body and tell me to go back and sit at the table, which Ann loyally does too.

The cacophony of kids, roosters, dogs and family women that as usual awoke us about 6am is now subsiding as the kids head to the local school, so that the dogs are less excited, so that the chickens are less chased. Actually the most invasive element in the chorus is the family women. Issan women talk (make that shout) in a very piercing manner, sounding worryingly combative. In reality all they are doing is discussing the price of moo (pork) at the night market. Like a lot of other food products, pork has been going up in price quite steeply over the time I have been here and now stands at an, unaffordable for many, 130 baht (£2.50) a kilo. Thai and Isaan languages, being tonal, require a certain amount of projection and this is done with relish by the ladies. When it comes to Joom (Pookee and Nong Paeng's mum) the shock waves are always accompanied with facial expression of extreme theatre – almost gurning at times. When she's in full flow I cannot take my eyes off her.

[Gurning - now there's a word that Microsoft forgot to put in their dictionary]

Ann has now brought me some toast. Yes – sorry guys we already bought the toaster, which was greeted by the younger members of the extended family rather like Sherry and I greeted the arrival of our first telly in 1959. Everybody had to try this strange falang food called tost and yam (you've got it – toast and jam). Young ones loved it and old ones, bred only on rice and stews heavily laced with chilli, looked a bit sniffy. Same result as when I prepared a big batch of spaghetti Bolognese. Normally I eat Isaan food for breakfast and guess that some more will come later.

We have not bought all the furniture for the house yet because Ann is worried about ka-moo-ee (thieves) nicking stuff from a house that will be left empty at nights until one day before the wedding. The last couple of days before then is going to mean some dashing around with a pick-up to implement a carefully pre-planned buying programme. Still, the kitchen is completely fitted so the only must haves to accommodate some wedding guests and kick start our occupation are beds, linens, sofas and cooking/eating gear including rush mats to sit on while eating. Yes we will eventually have a proper table and chairs – this will be a mixed marriage!

George, you have already made tentative enquiries about a wedding present. It's not the culture to give wedding presents here – in fact it's the other way around, as you might have seen on those HSBC adverts that pitch global cultural diversity. But that is a bit of an overstatement for effect. Thank Buddah that the outbound presents in question are really only cheap stylised mementoes sold in shops in bags of 100 rather like that stuff you see in Chinese wholesale markets around the world. Thank buddah because the guest list was growing beyond 300. That is, until I protested that too many hangers on will be coming and now its down to 250ish. I fully expect there to be more than 300 on the day. In truly Thai fashion Ann agrees with me when I put my foot down and then quietly forgets about it. On second thoughts maybe that's a global woman thing.

[Probably better to leave wedding presents until when Ann and I come to the UK in mid July. I can get her to focus better on it then and we need something carry-able – like (groan) kitchen knives (again, but seriously useful and enjoyed). Actually we will need two different sets because Thais tend to chop their ingredients with exaggeratedly large butcher knives, rather than the dainty Sabatiers we falang revere. We will give some thought to other similar portables; 2 x 20kg only is allowed by the cheap long-haul airlines on the Middle East/Asia run].

The house is now complete, but with final built-in cupboards being constructed for a couple of bedrooms as I blog. It's everything I hoped it would be, having planned the windows and siting with winds, sun and view in mind – light and airy. I had a major strop yesterday though as those innocuous little words from Ann 'we need to have some security' bore fruit in the form of a sales visit from the security bars salesman/installer, bearing brochures of hideous security grills designed to block out any view/light you might have foolishly cared to design into your home. I was so visibly upset about my masterpiece being ruined that Ann quickly agreed to my choice of the least monstrous bars – thin (hopefully) and painted in white. The salesman was clearly disappointed not to sell 3cm wide chrome bars with gold floral design embellishments, but sensible enough to spot a potential blow-out, so he offered a Thai price rather than a falang one and quickly retreated when I grudgingly paid the deposit.

You will be pleased to hear that I worked hard at turning off my disappointment to prevent it souring relationships. Today I am philosophical – TIT as they say here ('This is Thailand' – falang here use it a lot as though it is a unique invention, but expats in Africa say TIA and I am sure there is now a TIC for China). If I really do not like it I can always tear out the railings at some point in the future (oh dear I've just re-read that line and realised I need some more philosophy pills) and employ a full time guard for periods I am not around, ridiculous though that would be given the lack of any real security risk other than passing petty theft.

And it would be an affordable alternative too. Labour is mega-cheap. When it came to digging out the driveway and paths around the house prior to concreting, Ann proffered Som (Joom's husband) and Thon (husband of Pan, Ann's other sister) at 150 baht a day each (less than £3). They were tickled pink when I insisted on 250 baht a day, but I still feel a bit like a 19th century slave owner as I peer from the lofty heights of the house windows at their toil in 90 degree heat. But in truth they are genuinely pleased to have some work – the agricultural labour they normally do is dependent on growing seasons and is feast or famine. The talart (markets) are full of gorgeous cheapish outlandish looking tropical fruit, so many of the agricultural jobs are done, until the paddy fields here are waterlogged enough to plant rice.

9am. Pause at this point to eat second breakfast – Isaan food this time. Boy, we have got to get into the new house because the quantity of food foisted on me here is going to make me oo-an (fat). The family here giggle when I tell them about the strict 3 meal-a-day regimen back home, but the women long to be slim and Ann has been known to pay £30 for a tub of cream from a snake oil salesman of the classic American Wild West style which promised to reduce fat. B*gg*r me – do you know I swear that it worked!

Ann is growing by the nano-second now though and eating for more than two I suspect. She looks 5 months pregnant, not 3 months. Her plans, which were to have the wedding before the bairn protrudes in the wedding photographs, lie in ruins. Maternity clothes of any quality are hard to come by and a trip to glitzy Bangkok shopping malls drained my wallet to the tune that would keep an average Isaan village in new clothes for a year (£200 for 5 items). Ann is doing really well by the way and starting to radiate like they say pregnant mothers do. No morning sickness as was also her experience with her first-born

For breakfast number 2 I have some:

larp nueugh-ah (a classic Isaan dish derived from Laos, like many of the people: fried beef strips chilled and spiced up with shallots, mint, spring onion, coriander and chilli etc)

moo deng (a classic Thai red curry with a bit of fried pork and lots of chunks of Thai aubergines and holy basil, which I love)

talart sausage (two sausages selected by me from the local market yesterday) – as usual it looks a lot tastier than it is – no doubt there is not much lean pork inside. One is already inside our new puppy 'Wave' (why Wave you may ask? Wave is a popular model of motor cycle here and Wave's mother is Pan's dog, 'Honda'. Why Honda? Buddha only knows)

Khao niaow, the sticky rice which is on-tap all day here. It requires steaming over a number of hours and is stored in the round wicker tubs that you see all over Thailand. I now prefer khao niaow to khao soo-ay (normal rice - literally 'beautiful rice': rice is that much ingrained into Thai culture, and sorry for the grain pun).

Have finished eating now – alloy mark! (very delicious). It is de rigeur to comment on the food once you have eaten it such that alloy mark! is probably the most useful phrase any tourist can pre-learn. Eating is so ingrained in Thai culture that a very typical greeting from someone you meet for the first time might run like this:

Sawatdee crap (hello). Coon sa-bye-dee mye ? (how are you) Sa-bye-dee (I'm fine). Coon gin khao mye? (Have you eaten yet?). Shy, gin khao laeo (yes, I have already eaten). Alloy mye? (Was it good). Alloy mark! (Yes, it was delicious). Gin khao is used for 'to eat' and literally means 'eat rice' – that ingraining of rice in Thai culture again. The conversation will then likely focus on when it might rain – which it does invariably and torrentially at 5pm this time of year in Issan. Strange how khon angkrit (Brits) think it is a national characteristic to talk about the weather; in my experience it's a national characteristic of every nation on earth other than maybe the Middle East.

The problem here for me is that everyone converses in Isaan, which is a Laos-derived language and different from the Thai language of the central plains (Bangkok) and South (Pukhet) and North (Chang Mai). Most people can understand Thai, thanks to TV, but many are not comfortable speaking it. Ann worked in Bangkok and Chantaburi (250 k East of Bangkok on the coast) for 15 years so is a fluent Thai speaker. I have sort of refused to learn/speak much Isaan so far on the grounds I want to learn Thai and understand TV and newspapers (eventually read it maybe) first. Ann has a dig at me occasionally about this.

Must close now and drive the hired pick-up to the local town, Kantaralak, some 15k away. I need to go to an internet cafe to send this, take Ann's internet router back to the telephone company to exchange it for one that hopefully gives us a signal for more than 5 minute irregular intervals during unpredictable parts of the day and collect wedding paraphernalia. Printed wedding invites are to be picked up – I managed to persuade Ann away from the traditional schmaltzy pictures of the loving couple inside a heart shaped band of pink flowers and towards a plainer falang style – are largely a formality as the whole village knows and is coming, along with extended family and friends from Chantaburi and Bangkok. Granny from Yasoton will struggle the 100k to get here at the age of 82 and with senility similar to Dad's, like she does every few months. It is just as well that wedding invites are a formality – only two weeks to go now.

Wedding gifts also need collecting and flowers decided upon. The party is already sorted – 8 courses (normal - as I said Thais adore eating). Starting to sound expensive? Not so by falang standards – the party will cost £2.50 a head for food because, although ingredients are probably only one-half the cost in Europe, labour is one-tenth. I reckon drinks might only come to £2 a head even though the party will go on for about six hours and Thais like to drink – particularly at a host's expense. But they get pissed quick and a bottle of Thai Lao Khao (white whiskey, rather like tequila and industrial alcohol mixed and with the same poisonous effect) costs less than 100 baht and a couple of bottles will destroy a table of 8 Thai men for the night, although it is also important to have some Johnny Walker around I think.

The music will be a comparatively expensive 17,000 baht (£300). I think it's a 15 piece band and it will play for the full 6 hours, not like U2 who need a 30 minute break every hour. Ann says they are good, but this is only hearsay; I reflected my culture by insisting that she go somewhere to listen to them before we go nap on the booking; she reflected her culture by agreeing to this one week ago, but showing no current signs of implementation!!

Hot Press (1) Ann has just announced she can feel the baby move - wow - just a little shift not repeated so I have not felt it myself yet

Hot Press (2) Ann has just told me that the wedding will now be a day earlier. Apparently the monk has decided he will be away on the 4th, so it has to be brought forward a day. Monks seem to pye tee-ow (go on holiday) with amazing frequency here and public transportation is always 5% saffron. When I commented in that sardonic fashion, known only to falang, that it was strange how the only propitious day ordained previously by the monk can change to another propitious day when it suits buddha it was treated to blank looks at first, then came the classic Thai conversation closer mye-pun-lye (who gives a toss).

[Any denigration of Thailand/Thais herein is for literary effect only and denied by the author, who loves 'em to bits]

[longstebe]

Get up, coffee, take dump, shower, email, chase work, neighbours come round and smoke all my cigs, make tea, think about painting wall, dream about watching it dry, make tea, plan next grocery shopping expedition (highlight of month), make tea, try to start geriatric moped, daughter comes home from school, make tea, email, go to bed.

. . . and repeat.

Groundhog day.

Quality mate.

Mines not much different.

[MJP]

Get up, coffee, take dump, shower, email, chase work, neighbours come round and smoke all my cigs, make tea, think about painting wall, dream about watching it dry, make tea, plan next grocery shopping expedition (highlight of month), make tea, try to start geriatric moped, daughter comes home from school, make tea, email, go to bed.

. . . and repeat.

Groundhog day.

Quality mate.

Mines not much different.

Tis' da lyfe!

Stir crazy doesn't quite . . .

[rbrick49]

I live in a village called Ban-On with my wife,her mother who is totally blind and her daughter and threedogs.I moved here from Australia 12 months ago and built a house on my wifes farm,we dont have electric but we use a gasoline generator at night.the people here are excellent I have many Thai friends it is a great place to live

ps 24 k south of Roi-Et

[dmax]

everyones sleeping at 8pm, wking at 5am thats if the roosters dont wake you at 2/3/4am , get yourself a couple pairs of earplugs before going up.

[Dave the Dude]

everyones sleeping at 8pm, wking at 5am thats if the roosters dont wake you at 2/3/4am , get yourself a couple pairs of earplugs before going up.

Agree with dmax

and would add... make sure there is something to sit on!

[ballpoint]

I've been living in a village in Buri Ram for about 15 years in a house I designed myself to be exactly how I want it. I get up when I want, my bedroom is fairly well soundproofed so usually I don't get woken up by outside noise. I like to do a bit of reading in bed, especially in the hot season when it's the coolest room in the house due to the aircon (the only time of the year it's on), and it faces the west. The wife gets up around 05:30 and does all her morning chores and buddhist stuff. When I've read enough I have a shower, shave and s**t, then go down stairs and take a bowl of muesli outside, reading the papers online, checking my email and having a look at Thai Visa. I'll then have a wander around the garden, seeing what needs to be done. Minor stuff is taken care of immediately, major stuff earmarked for the evening when it's cooler. Then I usually wander over to the tractor shed, where there's usually someone servicing one of the tractors if they're not being used, and I'll get in their way for a bit. If work is being done on the farm I'll fire up the dirt bike, and head over. I have a small collection of motorbikes, so a lot of days I'll do work on them - checking tyres, oil etc. Around midday, if I haven't seen her already, I'll go and find the wife at whatever friends house she's visiting and we'll discuss what to have for lunch. Usually a 20 baht bowl of noodles, or suki or something in the village. The afternoon is more of the same, and I usually take one of the motorbikes out for a long ride. Around 16:00 we get the mountain bikes out and go for a ride along the tracks through the rice fields. I enjoy this immensely, seeing the sun going down, watching the birds and enjoying the peace. Home again, around 17:00, is time for larger garden chores, and, if it hasn't rained for a while, watering it. Our evening meal is normally either something the wife cooks for both of us, or something I cook for myself. Evenings are spent watching the telly, if there's anything worth watching, usually just the news, maybe watching a DVD, a bit more Thai Visa or a game on the computer, before another bit of book reading and bed. Once a week we go to Surin or Buri Ram for the weekly shopping, other times we'll go in to take care of any business. We'll often go and visit friends, usually staying a night or two, or friends will stay with us. Boring? not a bit of it.

[harry1]

great topic,,so many different answers but all say the same,,put some distance between you and family,,about 5km's should do the trick,,

when i wake up i normally watch everyone steal my cigarrettes,,eat my food,,watch neices and nephews run riot and shout at everyone,,have tried to educate and teach manners but to no avail,,once a week the family will have hairbrain ides for buisness,,get bored after about 5days so nip to nong khai for a holiday,,shame could have good life if family would let me,but all they think about is money,,offered loads of stuff,,from planting sugar to sending kids to uni,,but as always when i enquire about price they have already doubled or trebled it,,call them liars in issan,,so normally end up withdrawing offer and losing face,,if you follow my advice below,,pls prove me wrong

one good thing,,thai is quite fluent and picked up the villiage lingo abou 50% so dont get bothered to much and people not chat when i'm there

i recomend you learn abit of issan,,will not tell you as dont want to ruin your dream,,but learn the words (no worry its forlangs money so it does'nt matter),,(he will never know),,(no money this month,,get some from forlang for me)you get the picture,,will give you a starter dang is money,,e an got= roughly pardon,,what did you say,,will wager they will not teach you

act like them,,money is No1 in issan buda No2 king No3,,,just lie back dont worry to much and do what you want to do not what the family,,they will get over it,,if your budget is 15000bt tell them its 10000bt,,more than they earn

good luck

[Totster]

Nice advice harry.. I can tell that you must be well respected around your village.

Totster

[bellagrego]

Like the rest of Esaan and our host , Thais, When in Rome. Eat , sleep, boom.

50k baht budget with 20 left over each month usually. Have a new house, a paid for 2yr old nice truck, same for the scooter.

life is good in the neighborhood. Few expats in Sakon but nice guys, mostly Brits that I see in our only bar twice a week.

This life is not foe everyone but it is good and rewarding for me to make my small contribution to a Thai family.

[manjara]

When I stay, it's usually only 2-3 months before I bye-tee-yow for my sanity (and to earn some money).

I get up around 6am and go to the market (8km away) or start making breakfast. The mother-in-law likes the grilled chicken I make, so that's usually on the menu, otherwise pork and garlic or fried fish (with bpai magloot and takai). My wife's sisters will come round with cannisters of food and we will send some of our stuff back with them. This way there is usually 5 or 6 dishes on the breakfast table to choose from. The MIL makes about a hundredweight of sticky rice for the day.

I make filter coffee if we haven't run out of ground coffee - which I have to go 60km to get - but I'm the only one that drinks it (kum!)

After breakfast, shower, shave and log on to the internet, do email and play online games or browse. Hopefully that takes me to lunchtime, when it is usually more of the same plus some papaya salad.

Afternoon sleep on the sofa or reading, then some discussions on the next project or 'people who want to sell us their land'. Trip on the motorbike or car to see said land, conversation around how 'khun jaidee' we are - story from my wife about some spurious reason we can't buy it just now, maybe later.

Return to house, open a beer and have a drink with land vendors, smile and nod when appropriate, lots of wai-ing before they leave.

Open another beer and have with the wife or find out where the kids went and go to see them.

Start cooking dinner, once again a mass family cook-off.

Dinner usually lasts a couple of hours and is accompanied by alcohol of some type. Many people arrive, eat, drink, leave. Some are even relatives!

Kids are all watching cartoons or other TV and the wife and I get some time alone. Everyone is asleep by 10pm, but sometimes I go back on the internet if the wife is in a good mood - otherwise I will get accused of something!

[Gary A]

I go to bed when I want and get up when I want. I'm a crotchety old fart and value my privacy. My wife often takes care on her youngest sister's son. He is about 3 1/2 years old and he is a holy terror. I beat his little ass once in a while and tell my wife that if his parents don't like it to keep him at home. My home is my castle and if anyone doesn't like it, I can go back to my condo in Jomtien with or without my wife. Life is good out in the boonies. That said, I have never been happier.

[marcel.dekorte]

What a very funny story

Kind regards,

Marcel de Korte

[garyk]

Great Thread

I admire you guys for living in the sticks. I tried it for a few months, about a year. I was bored to death. Finally told my gf of two years. If you want to come with me fine it not i understand. I have a new truck and motorcycle in the back. I travel about 9 months of the year and stop in a nice condo about 3 months a year. Now i do not have anything against her family. They never asked me for money and they all work. But i cannot do the country thing. Got to go. I am in Chiang Mai and heading to Bangkok to buy a new camera. I love the wandering life style and wouldn't change it for anything.

Thailand and the surrounding countrys are very beautiful. If you stay away from the tourist areas.......

[Isaanben]

Get up at about 7.30, take a walk/jog on a small dirt road surrounded by fields, very quiet and peaceful. Then, after a shower, I really enjoy the breakfast in the nice warm weather.

Then it's time to turn on the pc and check what has happened in my old home town and country (and realise how fortunate I am as it is about 20 degrees below zero there), and then of course check thaivisa...

After that maybe it's time to take the car in to town, 20 minutes drive, to buy and fix something. That's about three times a week. Back home in the afternoon, maybe turn on the computer again or fix something with the house. When the sun sets, a shower again, before I enjoy a cold beer while I wait for the dinner. Listen to music or watch TV... Or maybe some neighbours come over...

Sometimes we take a longer trip, like last week when we went north to Nong Khai, then drove along the Maekhong to the west, then to Loei, (where we stayed at the Loei Palace Hotel, very nice) Udon and back home.

I really enjoy it here, but I think we need to have a car.

Isaanben

[Isaanben]

I should have written: need to have the car (as we have one)

Isaanben

[losworld]

Blog written for family back home in June this year:

It's 7am on Friday morning and I am typing this blog sitting at a table in Ann's family home in the outside lean-to that doubles as living room, dining room and cafe for passers-by in the soy (sidestreet). We get up regularly here at 6:30 (farming hours) and already by then Ann's mother may have been to an early morning 3am market for the ingredients to make food for sale at a late afternoon market. Ann's father will have been busying himself around the house clearing up from the night before and getting some cooking underway.

The kids have all been up for an hour – all neatly dressed in their white shirts and grey skirts, sitting on the tiled floor in the inside living area and watching some TV or DVD cartoons. No I am not hiding something from you – just talking about Ann's two nieces Pookee and Nong-Paeng, 4yrs and 5yrs old and both impossibly naa-rak (cute) and Kat, a 9 year old girl that Ann's mum took under her wing a few years ago as being the daughter of a mother somewhere in the distant family that could not cope. In a manner faintly Dickensian in style Kat helps look after the kids and runs any errands frequently needed. I have a bit of a soft spot for Kat given her predicament – she's an observer and I see a Bronte novel or two brewing in her eyes.

The said table that I'm sitting on was bought by Ann for me to eat my food falang-style (falang = white Westerner). I protested loudly at that time, and ever since, that I am quite capable of sitting on the floor with the rest of the family and friends/passers-by to dip into the communal bowls of Isaan food. But they just laugh at my attempts to ungainly fold my legs somewhere under my body and tell me to go back and sit at the table, which Ann loyally does too.

The cacophony of kids, roosters, dogs and family women that as usual awoke us about 6am is now subsiding as the kids head to the local school, so that the dogs are less excited, so that the chickens are less chased. Actually the most invasive element in the chorus is the family women. Issan women talk (make that shout) in a very piercing manner, sounding worryingly combative. In reality all they are doing is discussing the price of moo (pork) at the night market. Like a lot of other food products, pork has been going up in price quite steeply over the time I have been here and now stands at an, unaffordable for many, 130 baht (£2.50) a kilo. Thai and Isaan languages, being tonal, require a certain amount of projection and this is done with relish by the ladies. When it comes to Joom (Pookee and Nong Paeng's mum) the shock waves are always accompanied with facial expression of extreme theatre – almost gurning at times. When she's in full flow I cannot take my eyes off her.

[Gurning - now there's a word that Microsoft forgot to put in their dictionary]

Ann has now brought me some toast. Yes – sorry guys we already bought the toaster, which was greeted by the younger members of the extended family rather like Sherry and I greeted the arrival of our first telly in 1959. Everybody had to try this strange falang food called tost and yam (you've got it – toast and jam). Young ones loved it and old ones, bred only on rice and stews heavily laced with chilli, looked a bit sniffy. Same result as when I prepared a big batch of spaghetti Bolognese. Normally I eat Isaan food for breakfast and guess that some more will come later.

We have not bought all the furniture for the house yet because Ann is worried about ka-moo-ee (thieves) nicking stuff from a house that will be left empty at nights until one day before the wedding. The last couple of days before then is going to mean some dashing around with a pick-up to implement a carefully pre-planned buying programme. Still, the kitchen is completely fitted so the only must haves to accommodate some wedding guests and kick start our occupation are beds, linens, sofas and cooking/eating gear including rush mats to sit on while eating. Yes we will eventually have a proper table and chairs – this will be a mixed marriage!

George, you have already made tentative enquiries about a wedding present. It's not the culture to give wedding presents here – in fact it's the other way around, as you might have seen on those HSBC adverts that pitch global cultural diversity. But that is a bit of an overstatement for effect. Thank Buddah that the outbound presents in question are really only cheap stylised mementoes sold in shops in bags of 100 rather like that stuff you see in Chinese wholesale markets around the world. Thank buddah because the guest list was growing beyond 300. That is, until I protested that too many hangers on will be coming and now its down to 250ish. I fully expect there to be more than 300 on the day. In truly Thai fashion Ann agrees with me when I put my foot down and then quietly forgets about it. On second thoughts maybe that's a global woman thing.

[Probably better to leave wedding presents until when Ann and I come to the UK in mid July. I can get her to focus better on it then and we need something carry-able – like (groan) kitchen knives (again, but seriously useful and enjoyed). Actually we will need two different sets because Thais tend to chop their ingredients with exaggeratedly large butcher knives, rather than the dainty Sabatiers we falang revere. We will give some thought to other similar portables; 2 x 20kg only is allowed by the cheap long-haul airlines on the Middle East/Asia run].

The house is now complete, but with final built-in cupboards being constructed for a couple of bedrooms as I blog. It's everything I hoped it would be, having planned the windows and siting with winds, sun and view in mind – light and airy. I had a major strop yesterday though as those innocuous little words from Ann 'we need to have some security' bore fruit in the form of a sales visit from the security bars salesman/installer, bearing brochures of hideous security grills designed to block out any view/light you might have foolishly cared to design into your home. I was so visibly upset about my masterpiece being ruined that Ann quickly agreed to my choice of the least monstrous bars – thin (hopefully) and painted in white. The salesman was clearly disappointed not to sell 3cm wide chrome bars with gold floral design embellishments, but sensible enough to spot a potential blow-out, so he offered a Thai price rather than a falang one and quickly retreated when I grudgingly paid the deposit.

You will be pleased to hear that I worked hard at turning off my disappointment to prevent it souring relationships. Today I am philosophical – TIT as they say here ('This is Thailand' – falang here use it a lot as though it is a unique invention, but expats in Africa say TIA and I am sure there is now a TIC for China). If I really do not like it I can always tear out the railings at some point in the future (oh dear I've just re-read that line and realised I need some more philosophy pills) and employ a full time guard for periods I am not around, ridiculous though that would be given the lack of any real security risk other than passing petty theft.

And it would be an affordable alternative too. Labour is mega-cheap. When it came to digging out the driveway and paths around the house prior to concreting, Ann proffered Som (Joom's husband) and Thon (husband of Pan, Ann's other sister) at 150 baht a day each (less than £3). They were tickled pink when I insisted on 250 baht a day, but I still feel a bit like a 19th century slave owner as I peer from the lofty heights of the house windows at their toil in 90 degree heat. But in truth they are genuinely pleased to have some work – the agricultural labour they normally do is dependent on growing seasons and is feast or famine. The talart (markets) are full of gorgeous cheapish outlandish looking tropical fruit, so many of the agricultural jobs are done, until the paddy fields here are waterlogged enough to plant rice.

9am. Pause at this point to eat second breakfast – Isaan food this time. Boy, we have got to get into the new house because the quantity of food foisted on me here is going to make me oo-an (fat). The family here giggle when I tell them about the strict 3 meal-a-day regimen back home, but the women long to be slim and Ann has been known to pay £30 for a tub of cream from a snake oil salesman of the classic American Wild West style which promised to reduce fat. B*gg*r me – do you know I swear that it worked!

Ann is growing by the nano-second now though and eating for more than two I suspect. She looks 5 months pregnant, not 3 months. Her plans, which were to have the wedding before the bairn protrudes in the wedding photographs, lie in ruins. Maternity clothes of any quality are hard to come by and a trip to glitzy Bangkok shopping malls drained my wallet to the tune that would keep an average Isaan village in new clothes for a year (£200 for 5 items). Ann is doing really well by the way and starting to radiate like they say pregnant mothers do. No morning sickness as was also her experience with her first-born

For breakfast number 2 I have some:

larp nueugh-ah (a classic Isaan dish derived from Laos, like many of the people: fried beef strips chilled and spiced up with shallots, mint, spring onion, coriander and chilli etc)

moo deng (a classic Thai red curry with a bit of fried pork and lots of chunks of Thai aubergines and holy basil, which I love)

talart sausage (two sausages selected by me from the local market yesterday) – as usual it looks a lot tastier than it is – no doubt there is not much lean pork inside. One is already inside our new puppy 'Wave' (why Wave you may ask? Wave is a popular model of motor cycle here and Wave's mother is Pan's dog, 'Honda'. Why Honda? Buddha only knows)

Khao niaow, the sticky rice which is on-tap all day here. It requires steaming over a number of hours and is stored in the round wicker tubs that you see all over Thailand. I now prefer khao niaow to khao soo-ay (normal rice - literally 'beautiful rice': rice is that much ingrained into Thai culture, and sorry for the grain pun).

Have finished eating now – alloy mark! (very delicious). It is de rigeur to comment on the food once you have eaten it such that alloy mark! is probably the most useful phrase any tourist can pre-learn. Eating is so ingrained in Thai culture that a very typical greeting from someone you meet for the first time might run like this:

Sawatdee crap (hello). Coon sa-bye-dee mye ? (how are you) Sa-bye-dee (I'm fine). Coon gin khao mye? (Have you eaten yet?). Shy, gin khao laeo (yes, I have already eaten). Alloy mye? (Was it good). Alloy mark! (Yes, it was delicious). Gin khao is used for 'to eat' and literally means 'eat rice' – that ingraining of rice in Thai culture again. The conversation will then likely focus on when it might rain – which it does invariably and torrentially at 5pm this time of year in Issan. Strange how khon angkrit (Brits) think it is a national characteristic to talk about the weather; in my experience it's a national characteristic of every nation on earth other than maybe the Middle East.

The problem here for me is that everyone converses in Isaan, which is a Laos-derived language and different from the Thai language of the central plains (Bangkok) and South (Pukhet) and North (Chang Mai). Most people can understand Thai, thanks to TV, but many are not comfortable speaking it. Ann worked in Bangkok and Chantaburi (250 k East of Bangkok on the coast) for 15 years so is a fluent Thai speaker. I have sort of refused to learn/speak much Isaan so far on the grounds I want to learn Thai and understand TV and newspapers (eventually read it maybe) first. Ann has a dig at me occasionally about this.

Must close now and drive the hired pick-up to the local town, Kantaralak, some 15k away. I need to go to an internet cafe to send this, take Ann's internet router back to the telephone company to exchange it for one that hopefully gives us a signal for more than 5 minute irregular intervals during unpredictable parts of the day and collect wedding paraphernalia. Printed wedding invites are to be picked up – I managed to persuade Ann away from the traditional schmaltzy pictures of the loving couple inside a heart shaped band of pink flowers and towards a plainer falang style – are largely a formality as the whole village knows and is coming, along with extended family and friends from Chantaburi and Bangkok. Granny from Yasoton will struggle the 100k to get here at the age of 82 and with senility similar to Dad's, like she does every few months. It is just as well that wedding invites are a formality – only two weeks to go now.

Wedding gifts also need collecting and flowers decided upon. The party is already sorted – 8 courses (normal - as I said Thais adore eating). Starting to sound expensive? Not so by falang standards – the party will cost £2.50 a head for food because, although ingredients are probably only one-half the cost in Europe, labour is one-tenth. I reckon drinks might only come to £2 a head even though the party will go on for about six hours and Thais like to drink – particularly at a host's expense. But they get pissed quick and a bottle of Thai Lao Khao (white whiskey, rather like tequila and industrial alcohol mixed and with the same poisonous effect) costs less than 100 baht and a couple of bottles will destroy a table of 8 Thai men for the night, although it is also important to have some Johnny Walker around I think.

The music will be a comparatively expensive 17,000 baht (£300). I think it's a 15 piece band and it will play for the full 6 hours, not like U2 who need a 30 minute break every hour. Ann says they are good, but this is only hearsay; I reflected my culture by insisting that she go somewhere to listen to them before we go nap on the booking; she reflected her culture by agreeing to this one week ago, but showing no current signs of implementation!!

Hot Press (1) Ann has just announced she can feel the baby move - wow - just a little shift not repeated so I have not felt it myself yet

Hot Press (2) Ann has just told me that the wedding will now be a day earlier. Apparently the monk has decided he will be away on the 4th, so it has to be brought forward a day. Monks seem to pye tee-ow (go on holiday) with amazing frequency here and public transportation is always 5% saffron. When I commented in that sardonic fashion, known only to falang, that it was strange how the only propitious day ordained previously by the monk can change to another propitious day when it suits buddha it was treated to blank looks at first, then came the classic Thai conversation closer mye-pun-lye (who gives a toss).

[Any denigration of Thailand/Thais herein is for literary effect only and denied by the author, who loves 'em to bits]

Interesting. You are a good writer. Keep writing.

[bobbysan124]

Very nice and interesting thread. At some point, I probably will want to settle in the countryside, but still maintain some Western touches.

[ESB7]

Very nice and interesting thread. At some point, I probably will want to settle in the countryside, but still maintain some Western touches.

NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dont do it............just take a look at the Expat guys that have been around there a few years, disgruntled, moody and no conversation other than the problems they got with their wife..Constant sponging by the family on a daily/hourly basis......NO NO NO just DONT!!!

[billd766]

Very nice and interesting thread. At some point, I probably will want to settle in the countryside, but still maintain some Western touches.

NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dont do it............just take a look at the Expat guys that have been around there a few years, disgruntled, moody and no conversation other than the problems they got with their wife..Constant sponging by the family on a daily/hourly basis......NO NO NO just DONT!!!

YES,YES YES please try it for a while first.

Yes please do take a look at the expats who have been living out in the country for a few years and I mean out in the country and not 10 km away from the cities.

Most of us are very happy and adapt well.

I don't think I am moody, disgruntled and I can carry on a conversation for hours without mentioning my wife though my son will probably come into it at some point.

My mother in law lives with us in her own house on the 10 rai we live on and the family come up for holidays and my only bitch about that is that they come at Songkran which is a bad time out here because of the drought.

Another 7 people having showers, using the toilets and washing machine etc plays hel_l with my attempts at water conservation.

My 19 year old niece helps my wife out in her shop and noodle stall and we all have a reasonable time.

We have a few chickens, a couple of ducks, fish in the pond most of the time and a totally relaxed life.

The Thais out here usually smile and wave and a lot try to talk to me and I do my best as my Thai is not very good (66 years young and partly deaf doesn't help).

There are food cars running up and down the road from around 6 am and we have a bank, 7/11 and a fair number of local shops.

There is aa Makro and Lotus Tesco 65 km in one direction and Big C 125 km down in Nakhon Sawan.

Living in the country is not for everyone though and I would suggest that you try it out for a month or so first.

Who knows, you may like it,

I certainly do. :D

[Gladiator]

Yesterday was not a typical day in my Isaan village. I was surprised at how clean the village looked, and asked why. My wife said the cleanliness is, as it were, a once-a-year spring cleaning not to be repeated until the next BOON KHAO JEE (BOON DUAN 3.) URL <http://tinyurl.com/y96v3sw>

says it's an Isaan festival when Moon 3 waxes. Yesterday was Day 3 of waxing Moon 3, so I'm guessing the double 3 has some significance. The web site doesn't mention the spring cleaning, or the double 3, but otherwise explains that it is an Isaan, Cool Season Festival, when folks like to warm themselves by open fires, and toast sticky rice balls rolled in salt and egg until they're golden yellow. I've only "decoded" the first paragraph, which has some Isaan words NOT in my dictionary. The first is JEE (Toast) in the name of the festival (GHEE in Thai,) on down to the use of Yaw Ying in a word where it's pronounced the old-fashioned way, 'en-ya', like a Spanish N with a tilde on top.

My wife laughed when I read the site's quotation out loud; I think it means, "It's Moon 3 and I wants Khao Jee. Put a little syrup on it or I'll cry!"

You touched a chord with Boon Khao Jee. I don;t think that its just in Isaan. I live in a very small village some 20 KM from Chiang Mai. On the day the public loudspeakers started at 0600 playing the same 2 minute message time after time for a couple of hours. I asked my wife what was going on and she said 'House Cleaning Day'. After 2 hours of this constant message (Man;s voice; mosquitoes droning; music and some singing - I was stir crazy!

[wales01]

This is a great thread. How come it jumped from 2007-2010, did I miss something????