How old is Too old to Father Children in Thailand?

[frollywolly]

I recently attended a gathering here in Thailand where I was astonished by several of the men’s situation.

Middle aged men embarking upon the journey of fatherhood

I have raised two beautiful frollettes, now young adults, yet as a man around 50 years of age, I would never consider bringing another child into this world. It is exhausting, expensive, a responsibility not to be taken lightly. I enjoy my semi-retirement

Here were the situations of some of the men I met.

*47 years old. A child under 1 year of age. Decent job. Thai wife 35

*54 years of age. Two children under 2 years of age. No job. Not wealthy .Thai wife 37

*62 years of age. 1 child under 4 years of age. Delaying retirement. Average income. Previous 2 children now adults. Thai wife 29.

My take on this:

47 years old Starting a family…maybe

54 years old. How will he support the children if not working?

62 years of age. Delaying retirement. What a miserable way to live, extending ones working life by 15 years.

It is a very selfish act on the part of these fathers. At age 80, in poor health, will they expect their own children to forgo their own young lives to look after them?

Earning capacity within Thailand is limited for most foreigners. The foreigners I interact here, who earn good money, would never consider having a child at 50. Never.

So why do these men, with limited earning capacity choose to take on such a financial burden?

Will these men simply abandon their child and family in a few years when the gloss has worn off?

Are these children heading for a life of poverty? Will the father’s solution be to head back to their home countries and live their days on western welfare systems? What kind of life is this?

Is this fair on the children?

Responsible of the father?

Responsible of the mother?

[NickJ]

I know guys in there 70's that have multible children that are around 5 to 10 years old.

It's sad really as most of them seem to be married to ex-bar girls from Issan. There relationships are highly problamatic and when they kick the bucket the kids will not be well looked after....I see fatherhood as a very serious undertaking that should have the welfare of the child at centerpoint. Just hoping your going to live healthfuly into your ninties is careless.....

[CharlieH]

Wrong forum

MOVED to Family and children

[Stradavarius37]

Either Troll post or a total moron who thinks his own values are unchallengeable

If you will likely be dead before they are 18 (average lifespan of 76+- then you have no business fathering a child. So those older than 58 - no way.

[kanderson]

If on US Social Security after 62+ years old, 2 children can receive 50% of your benefit ( each child ). Nearly doubles benefit.

Better than a sharp stick in the eye and you can still work.

[MaeJoMTB]

I'm 60 and with a 3 year old son, no need to work ever again, I have plenty of money.

Happy to have one or two more.

How many men get divorced with kids under 18 and never see their children again?

What's the difference?

[NickJ]

No difference at all....

[Muzarella]

I think that the best reason to not father children after 50 years old is the big risk in having a baby with some kind of mental disorder....even if the problem can be tested during pregnancy, and may have time to do something about.

[nikmar]

im 47 , my boy is 7 yrs now and doing just fine. i led a not too healthy lifestyle before he popped up but have changed my ways. my boy was never planned for and was a complete shock to both his mother and myself but he rocks our world and has done so since he was born.

ive started making plans should i go before my time. im not rich but ive talked to family back home and here. he will still be cared for until he can take care of himself and i get some peace of mind from that. i think its selfish to bring kids into the world over a certain age but it does happen. the trick is to prepare for the future the best we can and not just plod along hoping it will turn out ok.

also , i dont judge others.

[pinkpanther99]

I'm in part agreement with the OP.

There's a guy who lives near me in Hua Hin is 68 and has a 6 month old daughter.

I'm not saying that if you're older you can't be a great dad, but people should consider how fair it is on the child when the father is so old.

I lost one of my parents when I was ten years old, not because of old age, but nonetheless for any child to lose one of their parents is a truly traumatic experience and having a child in your 60s obviously dramatically increases the risk of your son or daughter growing up without a dad for a large part of their childhood.

There's more to it than simply being able to financially support your child.

it's OK to say you've got money in the bank but fatherhood is much more than that.

[Bangkokhatter]

You certainly make many assumptions in your OP. Is it selfish for a 46 year old first time father and 32 year old first time mother, with adequate income to start a family ?

[BKKSnowBird]

If on US Social Security after 62+ years old, 2 children can receive 50% of your benefit ( each child ). Nearly doubles benefit.

Better than a sharp stick in the eye and you can still work.

The 50% additional benefit will be split between the two kids. When one ages out the younger will get the whole 50%.

[Blackfox]

I'm 45 married with no kids. We've been careful not to.

We might soon but if we don't in the next 2 years, we won't.

We both have financial security but I also think once around 50 and above, the boat has been missed.

[umbanda]

Even when an old farang is not looking in having children here with a Thai woman, will take the risk to do it. I was advised about.

Thai women of any age loves to be mother or a mix race child, for many reasons, and genetically Thai women fertility last longer than in western women. Any "distraction" is enough to get into trouble. I had a 40 years old Thai GF that was insisting for me not to use protection during sex...and in getting me "distracted". Anyway, a great companion, but it was not a serious relationship.

After 4 months, and when I decided to finish it, she told me that she was looking in getting pregnant again. She was a teacher, divorced, and with a teenager son.

[gazwa]

I'm 54 and have a 2 yo boy and 3 step children 8yo 18 yo and 22 yo Although the baby was not planned, my wife and I were overjoyed to discover the pregnancy. I still work and also have funds for retirement. I love spending time with all of them and have done since we married 6 years ago.

Some people just love being a dad, I'm one of them. I have mates over 60 who have young children and they all love and care for their kids and have already provided for their future.

As for dieing when the kids are young, well, better to have a good dad for a shortime than some "expletive" for life. There are plenty of unworthy fathers out there of all ages.

I suggest you live your life as you see fit and leave others to live theirs and forgo this sanctimonious and judgemental crap.

[MaeJoMTB]

Even when an old farang is not looking in having children here with a Thai woman, will take the risk to do it. I was advised about.

Thai women of any age loves to be mother or a mix race child, for many reasons, and genetically Thai women fertility last longer than in western women. Any "distraction" is enough to get into trouble. I had a 40 years old Thai GF that was insisting for me not to use protection during sex...and in getting me "distracted". Anyway, a great companion, but it was not a serious relationship.

After 4 months, and when I decided to finish it, she told me that she was looking in getting pregnant again. She was a teacher, divorced, and with a teenager son.

Less than 1% chance of a woman becoming pregnant after age 43.

It doesn't matter what race she is.

[frollywolly]

Either Troll post or a total moron who thinks his own values are unchallengeable

Neither.

Challenge away old bean!

[frollywolly]

I know guys in there 70's that have multible children that are around 5 to 10 years old.

It's sad really as most of them seem to be married to ex-bar girls from Issan. There relationships are highly problamatic and when they kick the bucket the kids will not be well looked after....I see fatherhood as a very serious undertaking that should have the welfare of the child at centerpoint. Just hoping your going to live healthfuly into your ninties is careless.....

As you say,fatherhood is a serious undertaking and should be approached in the best manner possible.

Accidents do happen, will happen, yet as a man gets older and matures, they can mitigate unwanted pregnancies through preventative steps

[frollywolly]

If on US Social Security after 62+ years old, 2 children can receive 50% of your benefit ( each child ). Nearly doubles benefit.

Better than a sharp stick in the eye and you can still work.

Are you advocating social security as a means of supporting your children in older age? There is no limit to the time you can be on social security in the US?

If social security is to be the game plan for supporting your children it is better not to have any

[frollywolly]

I'm 60 and with a 3 year old son, no need to work ever again, I have plenty of money.

Happy to have one or two more.

How many men get divorced with kids under 18 and never see their children again?

What's the difference?

This post demonstrates exactly the selfish mindset of those who are older having children.

A man who gets divorced and willingly does not see his under aged children again can not be termed a man. Justifications of the 'wife turned them against me' are 99% of the time an excuse by the man to avoid his responsibilities.

This is a mindset of children are disposable. You can walk away if things go wrong, like divorce, and not see your children again.

[frollywolly]

No difference at all....

Agreed, if you mean both cases are being irresponsible and selfish.

[frollywolly]

I think that the best reason to not father children after 50 years old is the big risk in having a baby with some kind of mental disorder....even if the problem can be tested during pregnancy, and may have time to do something about.

This is a brilliant point.

Why knowingly bring children into the world if the risk of mental illness is dramatically raised

[frollywolly]

I'm in part agreement with the OP.

There's a guy who lives near me in Hua Hin is 68 and has a 6 month old daughter.

I'm not saying that if you're older you can't be a great dad, but people should consider how fair it is on the child when the father is so old.

I lost one of my parents when I was ten years old, not because of old age, but nonetheless for any child to lose one of their parents is a truly traumatic experience and having a child in your 60s obviously dramatically increases the risk of your son or daughter growing up without a dad for a large part of their childhood.

There's more to it than simply being able to financially support your child.

it's OK to say you've got money in the bank but fatherhood is much more than that.

Well expressed with a personal example and goes to the crux of my point.

Money and financial stability is only one of the pieces.

68 is far too old to be having a child. The chances of disease and health problems increase dramatically.

[kanderson]

If on US Social Security after 62+ years old, 2 children can receive 50% of your benefit ( each child ). Nearly doubles benefit.

Better than a sharp stick in the eye and you can still work.

Are you advocating social security as a means of supporting your children in older age? There is no limit to the time you can be on social security in the US?

If social security is to be the game plan for supporting your children it is better not to have any

I agree but just saying. SS is not welfare. You can own rental properties and even keep working.

Older father might be Ok because financially secure with guaranteed income. My Dad lived to 86.

[frollywolly]

You certainly make many assumptions in your OP. Is it selfish for a 46 year old first time father and 32 year old first time mother, with adequate income to start a family ?

Is it selfish? What do you think bangkokhatter?

Here are my thoughts:

Under 40: Ideal age to have children

Age 40-45: It is okay, but plan it and be sure

Age 45-50: Borderline. I think it is too old, but it can be done. Just

Age 50+: No.Too old. It is a selfish act beyond this age

[tcris52]

Prior to coming here, my US wife was beyond child-bearing age. Came here divorced at 62 and the first thing on the agenda was a vasectomy. The woman I ended up marrying has 2 girls that I care about and want to see grow up for as long as I'm here. I have no need or desire for any more children (I have one 40-year-old son in the US).

Just the thought of wheezing, coughing and stumbling as I try to play with my 5-year-old kid is not appealing.

I supposed if you're one of the elderly who married a "child", she may want a kid. Good luck with that.

[ChrisB87]

It is a personal thing. I wouldn't want any more children. I am 28.

I know a guy who is in his early 50s with a GF in her 30s. They have a 4 year-old. He was retired, but now working again. He is perfectly happy.

It wouldn't be for me, I don't think, but each to their own.

[frollywolly]

Even when an old farang is not looking in having children here with a Thai woman, will take the risk to do it. I was advised about.

Thai women of any age loves to be mother or a mix race child, for many reasons, and genetically Thai women fertility last longer than in western women. Any "distraction" is enough to get into trouble. I had a 40 years old Thai GF that was insisting for me not to use protection during sex...and in getting me "distracted". Anyway, a great companion, but it was not a serious relationship.

After 4 months, and when I decided to finish it, she told me that she was looking in getting pregnant again. She was a teacher, divorced, and with a teenager son.

This situation can happen. Of course.

Precautions are easy. Wear condoms always. The girl should be on a contraceptive regime.

If you are aged over 50, and do not like contraception,have a vasectomy.

[thaileader]

What a load of crap some uneducated idiots on here profess to know about who should have a life.

My son is almost nine he is the center of my life, i love him beyond the value of my own life.

He is loved within our family and has many friends in and out of school.

Who the hell are these brain dead idiots who state his life should have been discouraged.

I spend most of my time with him teaching him safety and the basic core values of living a life full of

enjoyment, respect of others and a continuous education to enhance his knowledge.

He could not have a better chance to blossom into a young man that wlll credit the human race.

I am 74 with as good a chance of being around for the next 10--12 years as any other guy.

By then he will be a man, so all you idiots with an opinion to the contrary......SOD OFF

[frollywolly]

I'm 54 and have a 2 yo boy and 3 step children 8yo 18 yo and 22 yo Although the baby was not planned, my wife and I were overjoyed to discover the pregnancy. I still work and also have funds for retirement. I love spending time with all of them and have done since we married 6 years ago.

Some people just love being a dad, I'm one of them. I have mates over 60 who have young children and they all love and care for their kids and have already provided for their future.

As for dieing when the kids are young, well, better to have a good dad for a shortime than some "expletive" for life. There are plenty of unworthy fathers out there of all ages.

I suggest you live your life as you see fit and leave others to live theirs and forgo this sanctimonious and judgemental crap.

"As for dieing when the kids are young, well, better to have a good dad for a shortime than some "expletive" for life. There are plenty of unworthy fathers out there of all ages."

This is the narcissistic kind of rhetoric I fail to grasp.

Why is it a comparison of better to have a good dad for a few years against a bad father? Self serving nonsense old bean.

Why not a comparison of the great majority of fathers, who are good fathers, who are with with their children through their childhood and early adulthood?

That is a like for like comparison