How old is Too old to Father Children in Thailand?

[smotherb]

Who appointed you the god of parenthood?

Allow me to point-out a few facts: it is not your business when and if any man and woman decide to have a child; many children have grown up without fathers, no matter the age of their father when they were born; some believe it is better planning to wait to have children until you are older and can devote the time to better care for the kids; being wealthy is not the sign of a good upbringing, but having a loving family may be.

It appears a natural instinct for heterosexuals to procreate. Whether the older man is physically capable of making a baby or if he knowingly adopts/takes responsibility for another man’s child, it is his decision, not yours.

I know many older farang men and their Thai ladies who have younger children. If anything, many of these kids have a chance at a better life than their local mothers could have provided with a local father.

One farang I know is 80, he takes care of a 14 year old boy he calls his son. The boy’s biological father is a deadbeat dad who is nowhere to be seen, but reluctantly gave the mother B10k when the child was born. The mother is only a little better; she stays in contact with the boy, but her new farang boyfriend does not want the boy around, so she leaves her son with the old man, and stays with her new farang boyfriend. Would you suggest this 80 year old man is too old to care for this boy? I think it is a blessing for both.

Many fathers die, or otherwise disappear, before their children are grown. Yet, those children seem to survive.

I was 41 before my only child was born. His mother and I had been married for over six years—we chose to wait. She was very young and wanted to continue her education. We both wanted to enjoy our girlfriend-boyfriend relationship a little longer, without the responsibilities of parenthood.

Our son just became a father at 29. The only problem I see with the fact I was an older father is that I may not live long enough to see my grandson grow up—just as these older fathers may not see their children grow up. However, the thought of doing so gives me added incentive to live longer.

Perhaps I am so strongly opposed to your statements because I never knew my father, he died when I was 1; and I lost both grandfathers when I was still a child. Consequently, I had little paternal influence as a child, yet I seem to have made it well enough. I am sure I am not the only one.

I am more concerned about the huge numbers of cuckolded farangs being taken for their life savings, but alas, that too is not our business.

[carter1882]

It is generally accepted as truth that the risks of an increase in mental disorders in children increases amongst older fathers. But the fact remains that the risk is small in the first place so absolutely no reason to put anyone off fathering a child in later years.

The OP to my mind is a tiresome busy-body and a crashing bore who would meddle in the lives of others, probably to hide his own inadequacies. Anyways, he clearly should not have children no matter what his age...I just hope the ones he claims to have already havent inherited too many of his characteristics!

[darkian]

Do these guys really want kids, or is it just the girl saying no baby, no boom boom?

[NickJ]

Yeah....I would just love to throw a football from a wheelchair to my son.....and then die and leave him inthe hands of my thai relatives....and wife....hell she is young...she will remarry....and for sure all is well.......Geez a kid in this day and age...it is a 25 year commitmant......not about social security.....its the lack of protecion and mentoring.........

Edited April 24, 2015 by NickJ

[YeahSiam]

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Most middle to upper class Thai women would never consider hooking up with some old has been farangs trying to rekindle their younger days in a third world country. In fact this practice is frowned upon in Thailand and considered several steps down the social ladder for Thais, as it is in the West.

The majority of these ageing ex-pats aim for the Thai women from the lower classes of Thai society believing that their life savings and what would be considered as meagre incomes in western terms will attract women hoping to archive themselves some financial status for themselves and their families within their communities. In many cases it works.

Seeing some old gross fat bald or greyed haired farang walking along holding a young child with some young Thai girl wearing layers of loud make up and short shorts, either in tow or hand in hand, I find obscene and it`s an embarrassment watching the Thais turn their heads glaring at them as they walk passed. I have witnessed this countless times.

Supply and demand. The old farangs want it .. the young Thais supply it. Both get what they want.

If this disgusts you ... take a few trips outside your farang ghetto and check out the hidden "no tell" equivalent in Thai society. It FAR outweighs anything those decrepit old farangs are up to.

Be that as it may, the difference is that

the Thai counterpart does his business

on the hush-hush. He doesn't drag his bit

of fluff around shopping malls when she's

wearing full afterhours nightclub boob-

tube, hotpants and stilettos regalia hoping

to evoke envy from other men. Who'd be

envious of such an embarrassing sight?

Stay indoors. You'll feel better...

I feel just fine thanks. I'm reminded of

an instance at the Emporium last year

while out withThai and farang friends.

Some fat, old farang actually wanted to

have it with us because we couldn't help

laughing at him and his "GF" who was

doing a great impression of a 5 minute-

old fawn in her platform stilettos as he

dragged her around the stores. You

would've cracked up too. The guy was

like 60+, 5'6" and overweight, sweating

and wheezing. His GF looked about 22.

[Lekong]

I'm 60 and with a 3 year old son, no need to work ever again, I have plenty of money.

Happy to have one or two more.

How many men get divorced with kids under 18 and never see their children again?

What's the difference?

The difference is that you got a lot of money as you rightly said.

[mogo51]

Either Troll post or a total moron who thinks his own values are unchallengeable

Absolute rubbish, the post was well delivered and correctlt petrays what problems such selfish self centred behaviour brings = keep it in your pants or get a vacetomy,thinkos someone other than yourself ie. the children.

[Broeno]

Wonderfull post. The whole world knows your values and opinion. This will change the world.

[cracker1]

You said that some of the men you met said they wanted to have children here and some had done so ?

"So why do these men, with limited earning capacity choose to take on such a financial burden?"

So when you asked them to answer the many questions raised in this conversation, 'What did they say ?"

Why are you asking us who most likely were not present at this time ?

[frollywolly]

It is generally accepted as truth that the risks of an increase in mental disorders in children increases amongst older fathers. But the fact remains that the risk is small in the first place so absolutely no reason to put anyone off fathering a child in later years.

The OP to my mind is a tiresome busy-body and a crashing bore who would meddle in the lives of others, probably to hide his own inadequacies. Anyways, he clearly should not have children no matter what his age...I just hope the ones he claims to have already havent inherited too many of his characteristics!

What a withering, yet poorly informed and expressed, critique of myself.

The Frollettes inherited many traits from myself and Mrs Frolly. Being still young-ish parents, we were also able to participate in so many physical activities as they grew up; hiking, biking, climbing, racquet sports, to name but a few.

We were able to be there for them after a challenging day of work and we provided a solid base role model. We are active people, well educated and have had good careers, working and living in many countries. Our children were able to experience living and holidaying in many countries.

These are a few things we were able to give our children. A lot of energy is expended in being there and doing it.

Can a man of 65 give their child of 10 all that is required? Maybe in 10% of cases they can. Simply, at that age, you do not have the energy you had when you were young.

Many of the older father I have seen around areas of Bangkok do not look like they are in any reasonable state of health at all. They appear miserable for the main.

As to your claim of myself meddling in the lives of others; I do not approach these men and offer my opinion to them on their life choice.

Of course I have the right to question that choice privately or on an anonymous forum such as this.

Judging? yes of course I am. I am staggered at such selfish choices and my thoughts are primarily for the care and well being of the children.

What child wants to be fatherless at age 20? No father, no grandfather, no siblings, How awful.

[elsmido]

I am 50 and my (Thai) wife is 39. We have a beautiful 4 year old girl. We have discussed having another child, mainly as a companion for our daughter but also because she has been such a wonderful addition to our lives. We feel that having another would enhance all of our lives. We are good parents but by no means perfect. We have a successful family business here and feel more than capable of providing for both children.

I am concerned about my age but I am healthy and have longevity on both sides of my family including both parents still going strong in their early eighties.

I feel that we are doing the right thing.....or maybe not.

[NickJ]

Naw.....nevermind....its okay to leave pre-teens or infants without a male parent.....no harm done.....its fine....normal.....all will be perfect....got money....got security.......yeah...thats what kids need.

[mesquite]

This may have been mentioned before, but many Thais think the half-farang half-Thai child is the most beautiful. Many also view their children as we Americans view our 401k accounts; retirement security. So the Thai woman convinces her farang bf/husband to have a kid with her. Or, she just "gets pregnant." The farang goes along with it because even though he may be dead when the kid is 20, the wife will be only 45 or 50. It seems most Thai men leave anyway, so a farang leaving via dying is not a big deal.

Just my 2 baht worth.

Edited April 24, 2015 by mesquite

[frollywolly]

Do these guys really want kids, or is it just the girl saying no baby, no boom boom?

Darkian, I am certain there is a large element of this.

Yet is sex is only one element of it.

Do some of these men see having a baby as locking in their younger wife. Once pregnant she will stay with him forever?

That is no way to decide to have children at age 60

[ChiangraiTony]

I'm 62, have a 3 year old. Very happy with lots of money. Been married 5 years and my wife is now 26. Much support in our family. My child will be taken care of very well. You don't need to be concerned.

You can never know about the feeling, reasons, or love of life until you can walk in the shoes that carry this joy. Hopefully you can learn something by reading these comments and better understand how important it is to open your mind a little bit more.

[elgordo38]

I'm 60 and with a 3 year old son, no need to work ever again, I have plenty of money.

Happy to have one or two more.

How many men get divorced with kids under 18 and never see their children again?

What's the difference?

That song by Frank Sinatra comes to mind "I did it my way" Of course the "I have plenty of money" makes the whole thing more plausible. The "Happy to have one or two more" well with my vasectomy that part about trying is the best. A person must consider that as they get over 50 their sperm starts to deteriorate I would not wish physical short comings on any child when they enter this dog eat dog world. Its a long road to travel with handicaps.

[frollywolly]

I am 50 and my (Thai) wife is 39. We have a beautiful 4 year old girl. We have discussed having another child, mainly as a companion for our daughter but also because she has been such a wonderful addition to our lives. We feel that having another would enhance all of our lives. We are good parents but by no means perfect. We have a successful family business here and feel more than capable of providing for both children.

I am concerned about my age but I am healthy and have longevity on both sides of my family including both parents still going strong in their early eighties.

I feel that we are doing the right thing.....or maybe not.

I commend your honesty and the thought you have given to the situation

In my opinion children at fifty is a very big decision. The cusp of a cut off age.

[Blackfox]

I'm 62, have a 3 year old. Very happy with lots of money. Been married 5 years and my wife is now 26. Much support in our family. My child will be taken care of very well. You don't need to be concerned.

You can never know about the feeling, reasons, or love of life until you can walk in the shoes that carry this joy. Hopefully you can learn something by reading these comments and better understand how important it is to open your mind a little bit more.

I bet she's happy, you've got lots of money.

Your child will be taken very good care of......and so will the family hahahaha.

[frollywolly]

I'm 62, have a 3 year old. Very happy with lots of money. Been married 5 years and my wife is now 26. Much support in our family. My child will be taken care of very well. You don't need to be concerned.

You can never know about the feeling, reasons, or love of life until you can walk in the shoes that carry this joy. Hopefully you can learn something by reading these comments and better understand how important it is to open your mind a little bit more.

Oh, my mind is completely open. I have had 2 children of my own and so I know well the joys and despair of parenthood.

62 with a 3 year old! All I can say is 'you poor man!'

Edited April 24, 2015 by frollywolly

[elgordo38]

I was in the condo pool the other day with a Brit with 2 young children obviously his own(also which he confirmed to me later). He was married to a younger Thai lady. I was impressed with this fellow as he tried to keep these two frolicking youngsters in line. He played with them and was trying to teach them how to swim. As far as I could ascertain at my advanced age of course I think some men make better fathers at an advanced age than a young hormone driven stud. Kudo's to him.

Edited April 24, 2015 by elgordo38

[gemguy]

Hmmmm...just goes to show you how a man can still father a child in their old age......

If a baby is what the women wants, regardless of the mans age....then that factor is part of the equation also.

No big deal really.

Cheers

[frollywolly]

At 64, I have learned to be concerned with my business and let others live their lives as they wish.

You would be content to have more children at age 64?

[abhaya]

There are too many children and not enough fathers. It would seem to make more sense to take care of a fatherless child if you have a surplus of love rather than create another mouth to feed in this uncertain world.

[Fullstop]

Yeah, yeah yeah ... Excuses, excuses, excuses....What it all boils down to is if you father a kid in full knowledge you won't be around for a major part of their life ... because little Isarn wifey wants a luk kreung... you're an irresponsible tosser.

If you're filthy rich and leave a fortune to the wife and kid/s .. helps a little... but still...

[frollywolly]

Op fails to consider complexity of being a human. Imposing rules upon people on the basis of age, gender, race etc is simplistic, wrong and those supporting such ideology should never be in position of authority. Hitler said I don't like Jews. Full stop. I'll rid the world of Jews. 70 year old man should not have children. I doubt if the op had the intellectual capacity to comprehend this. Does he? Lol

There is always one ill informed numbskull who has to play the Hitler card as if it has any relevance at all. Please try and stay on topic.

I do agree with one point you make. 70 year old men should not be having children. At 70 it is an outrageously selfish action on their part.

[frollywolly]

There are too many children and not enough fathers. It would seem to make more sense to take care of a fatherless child if you have a surplus of love rather than create another mouth to feed in this uncertain world.

Very wise my friend

If you MUST have a child to fulfill your life at an older age, why not adopt or foster a child?

[Aussieroaming]

I wouldn't want to chase kids again...but each to his own. Plenty of dis functional young parents around that could learn a thing or two from older parents.

[kennypowers]

And then think of the poor women who have to sleep with those guy...

[ChiangraiTony]

I'm 62, have a 3 year old. Very happy with lots of money. Been married 5 years and my wife is now 26. Much support in our family. My child will be taken care of very well. You don't need to be concerned.

You can never know about the feeling, reasons, or love of life until you can walk in the shoes that carry this joy. Hopefully you can learn something by reading these comments and better understand how important it is to open your mind a little bit more.

Oh, my mind is completely open. I have had 2 children of my own and so I know well the joys and despair of parenthood.

62 with a 3 year old! All I can say is 'you poor man!'

Thank you for being honest enough to expose your intellect. When I suggested opening the mind a little bit more I was referring to not being so judgmental. Everyone has their own story to tell. When you're more respectful you can feel good about your deeds. At least that's what I like to think. Edited April 24, 2015 by ChiangraiTony

[HooHaa]

Either Troll post or a total moron who thinks his own values are unchallengeable

i quite agree with him, i had my child at 39, she is 8 now. i cant imagine having done it any later -- for either her or my own sake.