Our Reputation Takes Another Hit

[britmaveric]

Who knows the real situation? We havent found out what the lad thinks so I think this is pretty much pointless. Going to the police is the worse thing you can do...it will only make her look stupid and if she thinks she's treated bad now I can only imagine what it would be like if she went to the police.

The only caveat if all ends up being true is the lad is responsible for her. I'm not sure if this could black mark him against future visa requests if she makes a complaint??? However I might do that after I return to thailand for obvious reasons.

[Thaddeus]

well it is a verbal agreement, probaly wont do her any good though

Wrong.

I'm not a UK Lawyer, but my best friend is a Barrister in the UK.

Contract law is the law that governs contracts. A contract can take several forms - it can be written on a piece of paper (or napkin, even) or it can be just a verbal agreement if it satisfies the Statute of Frauds.

A contract is basically an agreement between two or more people which creates an obligation to do, or not do, something. The agreement creates a legal relationship of rights and duties. If the agreement is broken, then the law provides certain remedies.

The contract was, she flies to the UK and he pays the airfare on her arrival or soon after.

If this has also been mentioned in an email the requirement of proof is removed.

However, that only works if everything happened the way the OP stated.

Thats good news then, I hope she gets her money back that she was promised

If everything happened as the OP states, so do I Donz

The biggest problem is I don't know if she would be eligible for legal aide, I would doubt it and if not, that could cost. (I'd ask my friend, but he is eating now, that can take a while)

If what happened, happened as stated, this chap sounds like one of two things, a bully or a drip.... both of which would fold up easily when threatened by something larger than a Thai girl.... something like a Policeman.

The UK Police usually have a very limited knowledge of UK law when it is properly put into practice (apologies to Macb).... but if she makes a complaint to them, one of the Boys in Blue should knock on his door.... that may do the trick without having to go down any expensive legal battle route.

Edited September 7, 2006 by Thaddeus

[kurgen]

If a new thread was started every time a farrang guy was cheated out of 60,000 baht the Thai Visa server would crash.

I for one have been done for more than that, more than once.

Shit happens, get on with it

[Donz]

If a new thread was started every time a farrang guy was cheated out of 60,000 baht the Thai Visa server would crash.

I for one have been done for more than that, more than once.

Shit happens, get on with it

But there are some on here, so why cant there be one the other way?

[Thaddeus]

If a new thread was started every time a farrang guy was cheated out of 60,000 baht the Thai Visa server would crash.

I for one have been done for more than that, more than once.

Shit happens, get on with it

But that is completely diametric to what is happening in this topic, you are a farang, you can probably afford it..... if everything in the OP holds water, it isn't the farang that's being cheated.

[jdinasia]

If a new thread was started every time a farrang guy was cheated out of 60,000 baht the Thai Visa server would crash.

I for one have been done for more than that, more than once.

Shit happens, get on with it

But there are some on here, so why cant there be one the other way?

And if the guy was 'cheated' out of 10 months salary etc etc it would be a tish more plausible ..... But hel_l ... I am sad that it happened ... but it really is small beans to everyone BUT her

[GracelessFawn]

I beg to disagree...

I simply think that most farangs in thailand "are players/ cheaters" because of the oppurtunities that seem to present to them every second of the day. Who can blame them?

My xbf was an American. He cheated. I left him!

[malcolminthemiddle]

Hey Marshbags,

Do you know if the boyfriend is a member of TV?

He could be asked for his side of the story?

[dog412]

if she arrived on a tourist visa, then i would have to assume that as a tourist she will be considered as.

[dog412]

I beg to disagree...

I simply think that most farangs in thailand "are players/ cheaters" because of the oppurtunities that seem to present to them every second of the day. Who can blame them?

My xbf was an American. He cheated. I left him!

glad you don't blame him.

[mrbojangles]

if she arrived on a tourist visa, then i would have to assume that as a tourist she will be considered as.

I would imagine, as the original post below, that she would have come on a Fiance visa, Don't know if it makes any difference though.

She had got a visa and was going to get married to a very good man who she had know for 18 months

The only caveat if all ends up being true is the lad is responsible for her. I'm not sure if this could black mark him against future visa requests if she makes a complaint??? However I might do that after I return to thailand for obvious reasons.

I think she'd be treated well by the Police. She could also get a case note and give this to the Embassy in BKK. Hopefully, (if this story is true) the lad will then get a black mark. And hopefully he'll never be able to do it again.

[GracelessFawn]

I beg to disagree...

I simply think that most farangs in thailand "are players/ cheaters" because of the oppurtunities that seem to present to them every second of the day. Who can blame them?

My xbf was an American. He cheated. I left him!

glad you don't blame him.

Nah I don't waste my energy into negative sh*te. Life's too d*amn short to "point fingers" constantly! So - if sh*te happens, I let it go, get over it, and move on!

Life's too d*amn short to be angry, hurt and confused all the time!

[nostrel]

we dont know what went on in private between them ,people can change outside their country ,maybe he had good intentions but things were not right between them . I have witnessed how thai gals change and appear different when they move outside LOS. Its like taking a fish out of water . All manner of problems can pop up ,maybe she was bashing the phonecalls home to her folks ,problems over western food and only wanted to eat thai specialties .Maybe there was a sexual problem we dont know about which pi55ed him off too badly. it happens

[Thaddeus]

Apparently Breach of Promise cannot be enforced in the UK <for a long time> ... so she is <pardon the pun> well and truly screwed

I asked my friend in the UK this question.

"Is there a difference between a 'breach of promise' and defaulting on a 'verbal agreement'?"

This was his reply.

Yes, a big difference!

A promise is only that - a 'voluntary' engagement by an individual for the performance (or non-performance) of some particular thing/action.

A verbal agreement is a 'contract' where two parties agree what will happen and for what 'consideration' i.e. 'payment' or 'quid pro quo'. In an agreement there is what the law calls 'mutuality' where with a promise there is not.

The confusion often arises when the words are used wrongly - for example:

1. If you give me £10 I promise to mow your lawn - this is a verbal contract, an agreement, mutuality exists, quid pro quo and all that.

2. I promise I will mow your lawn - no agreement, no consideration (payment or quid pro quo) )no 'mutuality' and as such no binding obligation in law - only in honour

So in this example it has proved two things.

1. This was a contract..... if you fly to England I will pay for the air fare.

2. Unless you know exactly what you are talking about, just express an opinion..... phrases like "in my opinion" , "as far as I am aware" , "to the best of my knowledge" , "it's not my specialist area but I think" ..... you won't go far wrong and you have the chance to be corrected by someone who does know without losing any face.

This situation is problematical, if the OP is accurate, she should be able to at least get back the money that she borrowed.... legally.... but a knock on the door by a surly Policeman should have the same effect.

If the OP isn't accurate, she's screwed.... depending upon the level of inaccuracy determines how screwed she will be.

[dog412]

I beg to disagree...

I simply think that most farangs in thailand "are players/ cheaters" because of the oppurtunities that seem to present to them every second of the day. Who can blame them?

My xbf was an American. He cheated. I left him!

glad you don't blame him.

Nah I don't waste my energy into negative sh*te. Life's too d*amn short to "point fingers" constantly! So - if sh*te happens, I let it go, get over it, and move on!

Life's too d*amn short to be angry, hurt and confused all the time!

yeah i think you got it right there. as to the op caveat emptor would be the advice to all, thai,farang, et.

[Hans Brix]

The problem here is that no one knows the other side of the story. Maybe the girl is lying about the ticket. I can't picture a Thai girl forking out for her own ticket on borrowed cash or not. I think it's total BS. Who knows why the guy called it off too. Maybe this girl got to England and massive numbers of dudes were falling all over her and she cheated on him. Gfawn mentioned how guys cheat here a lot b/c opportunities present themselves left and right. No truer words have ever been spoken. The opposite to this is the Thai girl in farangland. This is kid in candy store stuff for her. If the OP is so concerned then hand over cash to her

[meemiathai]

I was asked for advice for a Thai lady now in the U.K. who i know.

I met her before she went and she was so happy and excited.

She had got a visa and was going to get married to a very good man who she had know for 18 months

We had met and I thought, yes you will be o.k. with him. ( i was mistaken )

Now she is coming home early because her boyfriend tells her he cannot marry her now.

My first thoughts where surely he would not pay for her to go there, get her a visa ect. if he wasn,t serious, and with good intentions.

Yes i was mistaken again.

It now comes out she has borrowed 60,000 baht to pay for her ticket ect. from family and friends.

He promised to give it her back when she was in the U.K. ( uh! oh! )

It appears he is now treating her like shit and so she is cutting short her stay after 4 months and is returning early.

Unfortunately he wll not give her the money back and she wanted to know if i could advise her on what to do.

She is returning to no job and at this time, no prospects, along with the 60K debt to take care of.

She has never suggested i help her with this, just in case someone has a suspicious mind.

I am tempted to tell her to go to the police and talk to them about her situation and see if they can advise / assist her.

It,s another month before she is coming back as she is hoping to make him see reason and do the right thing. ( One last try )

I,ve passed on to her to stay polite, be nice and ask him to please keep his promise on refunding the money while explaining the hardship she faces.

She studied English and can communicate very well by the way.

There are times when i am ashamed of my fellow countrymen and feel sickened, today is such a time.

There,s some right low life on the loose among us, no mistake

marshbags

Can the mods transfer this to a relevant forum please, sorry i thought it was in general.

Wow!! Farangs not keeping their promises with thai girls? That is Big News!!

Should make the headlines! But of course as someone suggested, marshbags is just another gullible farang who even believes in HER side of the story.

No no no.. you will have to jump off from the 20th floor and not die to make me believe that

"Farang men do in fact lie". I have been on TV long enough.

I bet the next thing people are going to say that farang men beat their thai wives!

[meemiathai]

Urrmmm...he is not a Farang now, he is in his own country AND we have not heard his side of the story.

Yet another pearl of wisdom from our Thai Expert - The Donz.

If he is not a farang now, I wonder what medication he has taken to have his race changed.

Thai Expert?

[meemiathai]

well it is a verbal agreement, probaly wont do her any good though

Wrong.

I'm not a UK Lawyer, but my best friend is a Barrister in the UK.

Contract law is the law that governs contracts. A contract can take several forms - it can be written on a piece of paper (or napkin, even) or it can be just a verbal agreement if it satisfies the Statute of Frauds.

A contract is basically an agreement between two or more people which creates an obligation to do, or not do, something. The agreement creates a legal relationship of rights and duties. If the agreement is broken, then the law provides certain remedies.

The contract was, she flies to the UK and he pays the airfare on her arrival or soon after.

If this has also been mentioned in an email the requirement of proof is removed.

However, that only works if everything happened the way the OP stated.

She should file a lawsuit asking for 10mil baht compensation.

[meemiathai]

I beg to disagree...

I simply think that most farangs in thailand "are players/ cheaters" because of the oppurtunities that seem to present to them every second of the day. Who can blame them?

My xbf was an American. He cheated. I left him!

What? Most farangs? NONE! You must be crazy!

By the way, mind your words. You don't want to end up commiting suicide with a plastic bag around your head and hands tied behind, do you?

[meemiathai]

I beg to disagree...

I simply think that most farangs in thailand "are players/ cheaters" because of the oppurtunities that seem to present to them every second of the day. Who can blame them?

My xbf was an American. He cheated. I left him!

BTW, we haven't heard his side of the story.

[TRIPxCORE]

Yes some farangs are just like that, what he did was wrong and If she was a close friend of mine and so was he I would be telling him to keep his promise too, if not I would probaly befriend him for being such an ###### to a fellow friend.

You would befriend him? Why would you want to make friends with someone that did something so rotten to someone else?

[Mighty Mouse]

Same old story...tourist arrives in Thailand, meets Thai girl.....

Thai girl thinks 'wowee, another rich farang showing interest in me."

Farang thinks that maybe she will be much better than the bitch of a wife he has just divorced.

(he got divorced because of his adultery to his wife's best friend.)

Thai girl puts on all of her girlie charm, farang spruiks his 'I am the best' BS line......

Farangs arranges for Thai girl to visit his home country, she flies out to him......

She arrives in Farangland and soon realises that Farang guy is not so rich at all, the cost of living in Farangland is sky high as compared to Thailand, there are a mountain of bills to be paid and she then realises that her life in Farangland will be a financial struggle.............

She puts the bite onto Farangman for some of the money that she dreamed of getting out of this lovesick fool...............

He can't pay, his mountain of bills must come first.............

........she spins her badly mistreated story to all that want to listen.........

........her next move will be to complain of 'rape' or 'assault' to the authorities, in an attempt to force money out of Farang, so that she can return to Thailand and save face with her family and friends...............

The morel of the story for the OP.......don't get involved.

[CymruAmByth]

Urrmmm...he is not a Farang now, he is in his own country AND we have not heard his side of the story.

Yet another pearl of wisdom from our Thai Expert - The Donz.

If he is not a farang now, I wonder what medication he has taken to have his race changed.

Thai Expert?

Not sure where you are from, but we don't call each other 'farangs' in the UK, and that is where he is living now.

Also, the tag ' Thai expert' was said (typed) with tongue firmly in cheek.

[Donz]

The farang should pay her the money back if he is a decent bloke.

[marshbags]

Thanks to all who have added diferent thoughts and have at least given me ideas on future dialogue.

I take on board all comments neg and pos. which are part of fair debate and to be expected.

A couple of points on certain observations may change certain views.

The 60K only came out after i tried to defend the bloke..

I had tried to defend him by saying as part of my logic.

" No way would he have sponsored her for a visa, paid for her flight and paid the expenses needed over and above the air ticket. "

She then came back with the paying herself prior to going and he did in fact say he would give it her back once she got there.

This really gob smacked me and was totally unexpected.

This changed the way i now think about the situation as initially believe it or not i wanted to defend our reputation ( foreigners ) as i thought it was another having a go at us situ.

Remember the bloke has been here for some time and i had met him on several occasions so he appeared to be above board and i had no reason to doubt his intentions.

After all we are all familiar with both sides of the coin, this is repeated on a regular basis for all parties.

Incidently he arranged all this while he was here and was indeed therefore a farang at the time.

A farang after all is a foreigner to someone of a different culture Thai wise.

It has been brought to my attention he was a bit of a womaniser and would

" butterfly on a regualr basis "

and had got a bit of a reputation in certain areas for making promises and then moving on without keeping them.

I must admit i was surprised to hear as i had no idea he was anything like this.

I,m not into the bar sort of situation and i do not mean this in a negative sense either.

Should i meet up with him in the future i will clarify the situation and see what his comments are.

It is not unusual for Thai,s to borrow money to go abroad with the hope of finding a better future for themselves by the way.

I have also come across the situation of the ladies being asked to pay before, due to some of them taking the money and not turning up at the other end.

A test of their good intentions some may say.

The reason i posted this was to exchange ideas and perhaps finding a reasonable solution to the situation.

I do not intend to become to involved but if i can offer some good advice then i will be happy to do this.

I certainly will not be accountable for this blokes promises and obligations and made a point of saying this at the outset.

She also made it clear she would not expect it and only wanted to know if i as an Englishman I could indeed advise her on our laws ect.

No matter who the person is, and in lots of different circumstances, it is my nature to try and help if i think it,s a genuine situation.

Just like most Thai visa members demonstrate and do on a daily basis.

Decent human beings do this after all, don,t they ?

As for putting my money where my mouth is or words taken to that effect by " putting my hand in my pocket "

I do not recall anything in my post that justifies this tone of this remark.

If i,ve mis read it,s meaning i apologise.

My intentions are to glean information i can pass on to help sort the situation out, nothing more and nothing less.

A problem shared is a problem sorted in many cases and that is my intention through the good will, experience and understanding of our members.

Thank you again for your imput both ways and i do not take offence on either as they will be due to different experiences and are part of fair debating, as i have already said.

The dialogue is still ongoing and i will let you know the outcome of it all when she returns to Thailand.

Personally i hope it has a happy ending.

marshbags

Edited September 8, 2006 by marshbags

[meemiathai]

It is not unusual for Thai,s to borrow money to go abroad with the hope of finding a better future for themselves by the way.

It is not unusual for a woman(simply a woman) to sacrifice whatever she has only just to be able to be with the man she loves.

Anyway, no worries. The farang men's reputation is very high in TV. It's only different when one can be able to see things from the other side.

BTW, I really can't understand why it is so difficult for a farang to understand the meaning of the word "farang". Absolutely cannot understand, it has got such a simple meaning. Not important though for this topic.

[meemiathai]

Urrmmm...he is not a Farang now, he is in his own country AND we have not heard his side of the story.

Yet another pearl of wisdom from our Thai Expert - The Donz.

If he is not a farang now, I wonder what medication he has taken to have his race changed.

Thai Expert?

Not sure where you are from, but we don't call each other 'farangs' in the UK, and that is where he is living now.

Also, the tag ' Thai expert' was said (typed) with tongue firmly in cheek.

My tongue was glued firmly in cheek too.

[raybkk]

Would the Thai embassy ,over in the UK, not be able to help her to get back sooner?