Manners

[fey]

I have a something to say that coincidentally happened a few moments ago.

I'm at 7-11 buying my beer. The cashier scans them and puts them in a plastic bag. While I got out my wallet and started counting money a bunch of Indians barged into the store, grabbed a big bottle of water, walked straight to cashier, not only ignoring me but also the 2 people behind me. The lady than literally picks up my bag of beer, shoves it to the side, placed her bottle of water on the counter, and knocked on the counter while yelling something in Punjabi (I think).

Am I being an oversensitive dick, or was it right for me to consider that as rude? Even the cashier apologized to me on behalf of the Indians.

As my Khun Yai's would say: "Ta jerr khak ga ngu... tdi hua khak gon"

How do they handle this in India when the clerk just serves whomever muscles in first and does not enforce a line?

Stampede, elbow? Would be interesting to test out on a bad hair day.

[dirtycash]

Manners ?

a serious lack of them here on tv

[JohnnyJazz]

Ok, but shouldn't one be able to perceive how their words will potentially hurt someone's feelings?

A lot of Thais I know are happy to tell you your'e fat although it doesnt appear to be meant in a bad way.

Fat is good, you can afford to eat rich food, you're wealthy. And you have a good wife who take good care of you.

Skinny is bad, you're poor or sick

[crickets]

Ever lend your car or motorcycle to a thai and have it come back with almost no petrol. Apparently its bad manners for them ti leave some for you because they never do.

[Scott]

An off-topic post has been removed.

[thaibeachlovers]

If you don't want stupid comments about yourself, don't post photos on stupid facethingy.

Doesn't everyone know about internet bullies?

[thaibeachlovers]

Ever lend your car or motorcycle to a thai and have it come back with almost no petrol. Apparently its bad manners for them ti leave some for you because they never do.

I once lent a torch with 12 batteries to a farang man and he brought it back with them all flat- rude git.

[mikebike]

It's quite clear that some cultures are far, far, superior in their behavior against other fellow human beings.

I would be very interested to hear which are the far, far, superior cultures and why, in your opinion.

Also, after ten years here (in urban and rural areas)I have yet to have witnessed a beaten Thai child, not even really seen a bruised or battered one (like the day after a beating). In fact

all the Thai children I know are very well looked after by a loving extended family.

[mikebike]

Political corruption, road side accidents, injustices in the courts, bribery, etc etc..

Are you describing the USA?

[mikebike]

The different part isn't that the daugther wasn't offended, the different part is that her friends said it to her.

Maybe you missed high school... FYI teenagers are the cruelest beings on the planet, friends included.

[mikebike]

I can assure you in an International class, it is evident who has been inculcated from birth to have basic manners and it sure is not the Thai kids.

Interesting that you use the word inculcated (to teach and impress by frequent repetitions or admonitions), indicating that you believe manners are not a natural human trait but need to be drilled into youngsters.

[mikebike]

And I am not sure if I made this point, but those that act like this, I would only say represent a small percentage of the population. Most Thai people don't go out of their way to tell people they are fat, but some do..

If that is the case, why did your OP generalize and implicate all Thai people?

"I have on many occasions have Thai people ask me personal/impolite questions or made comments, that I have NEVER been asked in my own country. Why is that?"

[mikebike]

I'm going to make it crystal clear to my children that i under no circumstance will accept that they would "take care" of me when i'm old. And the very simple reason is that they have their lives and i want them to live their lives to the fullest without worrying about an old man in the house.

A noble sentiment, to be sure.

The counterpoint would be that by not having 'the old man in the house' you are robbing your children and their children of some of their most valuable cultural assets... being surrounded by family, the wisdom and experience of age, the bonding that comes as a life is winding down... I guess everyone has a different definition of 'a life lived to its fullest'.

[Asheron]

I'm going to make it crystal clear to my children that i under no circumstance will accept that they would "take care" of me when i'm old. And the very simple reason is that they have their lives and i want them to live their lives to the fullest without worrying about an old man in the house.

A noble sentiment, to be sure.

The counterpoint would be that by not having 'the old man in the house' you are robbing your children and their children of some of their most valuable cultural assets... being surrounded by family, the wisdom and experience of age, the bonding that comes as a life is winding down... I guess everyone has a different definition of 'a life lived to its fullest'.

So when i'm old i can't park my ass on a bus, train, car, plane "for a while" to visit my family or vice versa?

[WhoWhenWhyWhat]

My feelings are that this sort of matter isn't addressed within their 'cultural rules'.. e.g. Don't lose your cool, respect your elders, don't point your feet, greng jai, etc. So, they either a.) feel like they can 'get away with it' in a similar manner to driving like a maniac behind your tinted windows, or b.) they somehow can't figure out that they are hurting the person's feelings..

Thoughts?

'Friends' in Facebook, that's the answer! How many users actually know all the 'Friends' they added in FB? Not many.

To most youngsters, the number of 'Friends' in their FB profile's reflects their popularity status.

'Friends' recommendations are auto-generated by FB and pushed to the user's account.

I know of one who clicked, Accept, to all by automatic default response, my wife!!! With nary a thought to consequences it could render.

Then some of these so called 'Friends', posted some scalding reply which made her feel slighted...lol.

I simply said, "Som nam naa!"

Thus, your lady friend's daughter got her feelings hurt most probably by those 'Friends'.

Nothing to do with Thai culture! It's the Cyberworld culture, one that gives courage to the cowardly in the secure comforts of anonymity.

Not unlike the keyboard warriors in most forums.

As for you being asked those impolite or rude questions, here's what I had answered personally, in my situation.

"Khun kon Thai chai mai kap? Tair wah, tam mai mai mi marayat na kap?" The 'kap' at the end makes it really courteous with disbelief and very effective.

Loosely translated as...

"Aren't you a Thai? But, how come you are so rude and disrespectful (to asked such a question)?"

My Thai is at toddler's level, and my tones are not even perfect. But they always understood.

Most, would immediately apologized, while some totally dumbstruck, shocked and too embarrassed to respond.

The wife taught me this as a subtle yet, effective stinging retort...lol.

Cheers

Edited June 8, 2015 by WhoWhenWhyWhat

[LarryBird]

And I am not sure if I made this point, but those that act like this, I would only say represent a small percentage of the population. Most Thai people don't go out of their way to tell people they are fat, but some do..

If that is the case, why did your OP generalize and implicate all Thai people?

"I have on many occasions have Thai people ask me personal/impolite questions or made comments, that I have NEVER been asked in my own country. Why is that?"

Oooh you got me! Or wait, maybe because I know a lot of Thai people?

Why are you so defensive Kuhn Michaen?

The whole "just being honest" is a hilarious defense of a people who have probably never in the entire history of the country told a difficult truth..

[mikebike]

And I am not sure if I made this point, but those that act like this, I would only say represent a small percentage of the population. Most Thai people don't go out of their way to tell people they are fat, but some do..

If that is the case, why did your OP generalize and implicate all Thai people?

"I have on many occasions have Thai people ask me personal/impolite questions or made comments, that I have NEVER been asked in my own country. Why is that?"

Oooh you got me! Or wait, maybe because I know a lot of Thai people?

Why are you so defensive Kuhn Michaen?

The whole "just being honest" is a hilarious defense of a people who have probably never in the entire history of the country told a difficult truth..

If you cannot see the hilarity in starting a thread titled "Manners" because you "know a lot of Thai people" who "on many occasions" have "ask[ed you] personal/impolite questions or... comments", and then stating "those that act like this... only represent a small percentage of the population", I can't help you!!

[LarryBird]

Of course you can't help me, you have blinders on to the world around you.

I will sell you a clue for 40 baht.

[LarryBird]

My feelings are that this sort of matter isn't addressed within their 'cultural rules'.. e.g. Don't lose your cool, respect your elders, don't point your feet, greng jai, etc. So, they either a.) feel like they can 'get away with it' in a similar manner to driving like a maniac behind your tinted windows, or b.) they somehow can't figure out that they are hurting the person's feelings..

Thoughts?

'Friends' in Facebook, that's the answer! How many users actually know all the 'Friends' they added in FB? Not many.

To most youngsters, the number of 'Friends' in their FB profile's reflects their popularity status.

'Friends' recommendations are auto-generated by FB and pushed to the user's account.

I know of one who clicked, Accept, to all by automatic default response, my wife!!! With nary a thought to consequences it could render.

Then some of these so called 'Friends', posted some scalding reply which made her feel slighted...lol.

I simply said, "Som nam naa!"

Thus, your lady friend's daughter got her feelings hurt most probably by those 'Friends'.

Nothing to do with Thai culture! It's the Cyberworld culture, one that gives courage to the cowardly in the secure comforts of anonymity.

Not unlike the keyboard warriors in most forums.

As for you being asked those impolite or rude questions, here's what I had answered personally, in my situation.

"Khun kon Thai chai mai kap? Tair wah, tam mai mai mi marayat na kap?" The 'kap' at the end makes it really courteous with disbelief and very effective.

Loosely translated as...

"Aren't you a Thai? But, how come you are so rude and disrespectful (to asked such a question)?"

My Thai is at toddler's level, and my tones are not even perfect. But they always understood.

Most, would immediately apologized, while some totally dumbstruck, shocked and too embarrassed to respond.

The wife taught me this as a subtle yet, effective stinging retort...lol.

Cheers

This isn't about facebook.

[WhoWhenWhyWhat]

...when her daughter posts pictures of the two of them on facebook,...

???

[mikebike]

...when her daughter posts pictures of the two of them on facebook,...

???

The Op now seems intent on denying that there is a significant difference in communication on social media vs intimate conversation even though he used FB as an example in his original post...

[mikebike]

Of course you can't help me, you have blinders on to the world around you.

I will sell you a clue for 40 baht.

I would contend that the 'blinders' are on the person trying to confine a complex issue involving comparing intercultural and societal norms into a simple case of 'they are rude people and have bad manners'.

[i claudius]

Just commenting on road users here , 90% of Thai road users have no manners whatsoever ,they wouldnt know what they were ,so i assume very few Thai children are taught any manners whatsoever ,thats why they will let a door close in your face ,or force their way through when driving even if cars are all parked on their side of the road , its the Thai way ME FIRST.

[IMA_FARANG]

Manners are something you learn form your native culture.

As an example, I have been in cultures where burping loudly after a meal is accepted as a sign that you have enjoyed the meal...... so good manners is to deliberately burp after the meal to show your appreciation to the hostess.