I am "old" fashion or what?

[wowfactor10]

This is their type of culture and especially when they get married with a farang.....

All these Thai girls who married a farang will end up normally with the items that he paid for anyway example,your cars houses land gifts...

These girls indeed use their so called thai friendships only to compare only who get the most stuff.

The girl who extorts the most stuff is the one with the best marriage...(These girls are in fact all jealous of each other and use their thai friendship only to black mail more stuff from u.

Soon as you divorce her she will never hang out with her good thai friends again.cause then there is no purpose..

Tell her if she is not happy then she can live with her thai friends...

or let her get an job in the mac donalds then she has pocket money haha.

[MaeJoMTB]

if you had not married down, you would not have this issue.

you made your choice.

What is 'down'...?

I took it to mean a lower class...

indeed, trans am as usual is being obtuse. the meaning is quite clear.

Can you get lower class than the foreigners (with younger women) in Thailand?

[wowfactor10]

I had very similar problems but developed ways to handle it.

1. Move as far away from other foreigners as you can.

2. Avoid situations where you and your partner mix with other Thai ladies and their foreigner partner.

Now,

My wife has her friends, all Thai.

I have my friends, the foreigners she never gets to meet.

All the Thais my wife now knows, have much less income and lifestyle than she does, problem solved.

If the worst comes to the worst, trade her in for a younger Thai wife.

You may be competing with her friends foreigner husbands, let her compete with the younger Thai girls looking for a lifestyle upgrade.

(Doesn't work if you were daft enough to put significant assets in her name)

Sounds you have a great marriage...

So u living in the middle of nowhere? and how is that for u socially?

Your wife is she finished her school ? i mean can she go search a job?

what is the age difference?

[micmichd]

My gf found out that she lost her privacy when she was a star and model, and she didn't like that anymore.

[NeverSure]

I wish I had a dollar for each time I was subjected to the lies told me by farangs about how rich they are. Money and lies go hand in hand. In regard to Thai culture, it has always had a heavy dose of "face" and "show" where one-up-manship is the game they are out to win. This is not to say all Thais play that game. Just like all farangs don't play that game. To be sure though, many do. Sadly your wife seems to losing this game and is turning resentful as a result - despite the likelihood that at least half of what she hears are lies. If she does not get new freinds or you don't open the purse strings then you may end up on the rocks. Having said that, finding a new wife will certainly lead you to being a happier man ... so cheer up and enjoy the ride ... better times are ahead.

"Having said that, finding a new wife will certainly lead you to being a happier man ... so cheer up and enjoy the ride ... better times are ahead."

Geez, to each his own. Staying single does have a way of avoiding a few problems....

[catman20]

WHY GET MARRIED ? I WOULD OF THOUGHT MOST FARANGS COME HERE TO RETIRE AND ENJOY AN EASIER LIFE ONLY TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE THEY MADE IN THERE OWN COUNTRY 20/30 YEARS AGO. WHEN WILL THESE MEN LEARN .....................KEEP LIFE SIMPLE THEN YOU HOLD ALL THE ACES

[overherebc]

I suppose i'm lucky as my wife manages quite well to keep me in the custom that I'm used to.

[redfarang88]

All Thai women, and before anyone says it. YES all of them, I can just hear some of you now. Well Im 100% sure my wife is not like that. I have news for you. SHE IS They are interested in one thing only, Money....and the material things it buys. End Of !!!

I have seen so many times, as soon as the husband dies, the house gets sold, and they move away with their Thai boyfriend. In some circumstances he doesnt even have to die. Oh Darling Im going to visit my Mum for a few days, BULLSHIT.

My advice to any Farang is stay alone. When you want a bit of company pay for it, as little as possible. You will save yourself a lot of heartache and loads of cash.

[redfarang88]

So wrong stop the greed but I know lots of guys same same ?

[MaeJoMTB]

Sounds you have a great marriage...

So u living in the middle of nowhere? and how is that for u socially?

Your wife is she finished her school ? i mean can she go search a job?

what is the age difference?

Yep, I have a great marriage, exactly what I wanted, I'm very happy.

Living in a moobaan 15Km from CM, all middle class Thais, no foreigners.

Wife just finished high school, starts university in August.

Job ...... maybe after university.

Age difference ........ big.

[micmichd]

I would reply

"Well, if it is really about benefits for the man like sex. Then just be aware that if your sexual performance drops or I suddenly decide that you arent satisfactory or my tastes change, I will divert my finds and resources to someone that i decide is good enough for me! So you had better be aware of that"

"Get other Farang, and I get a new lady"

[BKResort]

Thank you guys for so many good comments and advice, sharing your own experiences in Thailand.

.

I undertand people's frustration in not to have all what its wants, or others have, that happens specially in inmature people.

in my case, probably my wife is frustrated because I do not have more to give than to pay for our basic iving expenses. No new car or new house, not superflous spendings, just having a calm and happy life...but...looks like that is not enough for her. I can understand, because looks like most foreigners here are really "buying" its spouses, with luxury them never had before in life. Some guys also likes to show off the money they have, or what are buying, etc, that in my opinion it is a very stupid attitude. But, stupid or not, really may afect some women minds..At least...looks like it is doing with my woman, after her meeting so many of those cases. I am not the kind of person will limit or control my wife friendships.

Our argument this time, happens exactly after accepting a new couple invitation for lunch, and the restaurant they elected was the most expensive in town, and all the conversation was about the new couple purchases.....To make things worst.....in this new couple, for a change, the farang was younger than his ugly, fat, and older wife. My wife is very beautiful, and 15 years younger than myself.

Sure, comparing with my financial situation, every farang out there is a millionaire. She cannot even get my retirement income, after my death. My wife knew that before getting married with me, and she was fine with that.....until now.....founding out what other farangs are giving to their Thai wives...or the way they spend money.

My wife never before had experience dating farangs..and she is financially independent. In some ways, with more assets than myself.

After few years in the marriage, I was not expecting this " change of mind " ... and to keep her away to these situations is not easy. Most of her girl friends are married or dating farangs, some in long distance relationships. and getting money for the "waiting". Another non sense.

Anyway..... I told her that will be better for her to look for another husband, or a rich lover, if she is unhappy......even if will be a sad resoltution for myself...and the end of my first, and probably my last Thai marriage.

I do not need to "buy" a wife. Never did.

And looks like I am "old fashion"... and/or in the wrong culture. If not for love.... getting married do not make sense to me.

[BKResort]

Thank you guys for so many good comments and advice, sharing your own experiences in Thailand.

.

I undertand people's frustration in not to have all what its wants, or others have, that happens specially in inmature people.

in my case, probably my wife is frustrated because I do not have more to give than to pay for our basic iving expenses. No new car or new house, not superflous spendings, just having a calm and happy life...but...looks like that is not enough for her. I can understand, because looks like most foreigners here are really "buying" its spouses, with luxury them never had before in life. Some guys also likes to show off the money they have, or what are buying, etc, that in my opinion it is a very stupid attitude. But, stupid or not, really may afect some women minds..At least...looks like it is doing with my woman, after her meeting so many of those cases. I am not the kind of person will limit or control my wife friendships.

Our argument this time, happens exactly after accepting a new couple invitation for lunch, and the restaurant they elected was the most expensive in town, and all the conversation was about the new couple purchases.....To make things worst.....in this new couple, for a change, the farang was younger than his ugly, fat, and older wife. My wife is very beautiful, and 15 years younger than myself.

Sure, comparing with my financial situation, every farang out there is a millionaire, but my wife knew that before getting married with me, and she was fine with that.....until now.....founding out what other farangs are giving to their Thai wives...or the way they spend money.

My wife never before had experience dating farangs..and she is financially independent. In some ways, with more assets than myself.

After few years in the marriage, I was not expecting this " change of mind " ... and to keep her away to these situations is not easy. Most of her girl friends are married or dating farangs, some in long distance relationships. and getting money for the "waiting". Another non sense.

Anyway..... I told her that will be better for her to look for another husband, or a rich lover, if she is unhappy......even if will be a sad resoltution for myself...and the end of my first, and probably my last Thai marriage.

I do not need to "buy" a wife. Never did.

And looks like I am "old fashion"... and/or in the wrong culture. If not for love.... getting married do not make sense to me.

[MaeJoMTB]

Thank you guys for so many good comments and advice, sharing your own experiences in Thailand.

.

I undertand people's frustration in not to have all what its wants, or others have, that happens specially in inmature people.

in my case, probably my wife is frustrated because I do not have more to give than to pay for our basic iving expenses. No new car or new house, not superflous spendings, just having a calm and happy life...but...looks like that is not enough for her. I can understand, because looks like most foreigners here are really "buying" its spouses, with luxury them never had before in life. Some guys also likes to show off the money they have, or what are buying, etc, that in my opinion it is a very stupid attitude. But, stupid or not, really may afect some women minds..At least...looks like it is doing with my woman, after her meeting so many of those cases. I am not the kind of person will limit or control my wife friendships.

I bought mine loads of luxury stuff she never had before

Bed, mattress, sheets, duvet ............ sleeping mat on the hut floor with a blanket and pillow was all she had.

When I took her out to buy furniture, and asked what she liked, she said "I don't know, we've never had furniture before"

If you don't learn to limit her friendships you will be divorced fairly soon.

This isn't the west, and most of the girls can't deal with friendships by themselves.

You either learn to manage 'Thai culture', or you fail miserably.

And that includes their access to drugs, alcohol, gambling, your money, etc.

My wife is very beautiful, and 15 years younger than myself.

I do not need to "buy" a wife. Never did.

You're living in a fantasy world man.

[Thakkar]

The ladies who have their hubbies round their little finger usually are the ones bragging about stuff, well thats the way I have seen it. Plus many justs tell lies about the cash they have thrown at them, we have caught a few out in the past.

I am not one of the 'rich' guys and Mrs.Trans knew that when we teamed up and so far so good.

Over the years have seen poor folk taken out of poverty (usually cos a husband has abandoned them with kids) by a farang then after a few years of 'hi-sodom' start bleating about other birds having more cash to play with, forgetting where they were in the past. I know of a couple of birds who now are 'fishing' on the Net for someone with more cash, yeh, disgraceful.

Over the hill foreigner looking for younger, good-looking Thai to take care of his sexual and other needs in his old age is not disgraceful. But younger, good-looking Thai marrying said foreigner for money is disgraceful? Go figure.

It's a transaction, and nothing wrong with that. If love ensues, as it often does, that's great. When it doesn't, one or both parties will either need more "taking care of" to fill the emptiness, or look elsewhere to fill it.

That judgemental can of worms is best left closed.

T

[BFerearnk]

ah one more thing I forgot to mention. If the age difference is big (i.e. 25, 30 yrs +) than it is obvious that one of the key motives will be money/financial status.

Not always treu !

My partner is nearly 40th years younger then me.

A few weaks after we met and I got the feeling it will be ok, we got a good long talk about money and our way of living.

On this time I did not tell him how much I have a month, now after 9 years he know.

Each problem and surely about money was and still is cleared by a relax talk if the time is there. If something goes to far and will make us say stupid things, I go for a short walk with the dogs. Come back and talk if we calm down.

He knows where the money is, where my bankcard and the pincode, even knows how to use my internetbanking. NEVER A SINGLE BAHT HE TAKE.

And yes, sometimes I must remember him to take more care with money, but he is learning quick.

It's to put most things right before going in a deeper relation are get married. Not during.

The problem is that most man have there brain between there legs in the first time of a relation.

It take 3 weeks before we make our first homework,before we feel just happy we found each other and talk it out.

[bander]

To your question: "I have an old fashion thinking? I was spoiled by former farang relationships?...or it is just the Thai women thinking about love?"

The answer is NO, most Thai women do not think of love in this fashion. There are plenty of Thai women who are with relatively poor Thai guys and they genuinely love these guys. HOWEVER, if you're directing that question towards Thai women with farangs....well, the answer is a little more tricky. Many Thai women are with farangs for the financial benefit. In time, they may or may not fall in love with said guy.

You need to get your wife away from these so-called "friends." But if these friends of hers are her true lifelong friends that she'll never part with, then you're in big trouble my friend.

You can take your wife away from her friends but they still have facebook and line so OP will have the same problem where ever he moves.

If you take away her smartphone and move away, that's another story.

[zeichen]

"My partner is nearly 40th years younger then me."

Perhaps post in the gay section because this is a discussion about his wife not a "partner"

The point the other posters were talking about applies to heterosexual relationships with foreign men and Thai women.

I do feel that the OP has married a gold digger in disguise.

The only thing that I would do from now on is not to meet these people she talks with. I wouldn't go out to dinner with people that only talked about their money and what they buy.

I would take off for a month or so and live in BKK. Tell your wife that you need a break from her. Tell her that you thought your life was built on mutual love and respect and that you were building a life together, not building a life for her. You feel taken for granted and not appreciated and if all she wants is a rich man to care for her go ahead, but he will also treat her like a subservient mistress and not a wife. Also tell her that you could also find someone younger that wants less than she does.

Or be a wussy and hen pecked. Take a stand or don't. Would you rather be alone and confident or with her and feel unworthy?

[bander]

I had the same problems with my thai wife a few years back and decided to move away from her friends in Pattaya and stay in the village where she came from, but unfortunately the problems got even worse there.

My advise: get rid of her before she drive you crazy, the moaning and begging will be worse in the future.

[benalibina]

She owned herself, at least a lot more than present, when she met you. Now the opinions and (financial)situations of others own her.

If you care enough about her, try to let her get mentally back to the good times together. Communication. You only can decide if it is worthwhile.

[mrfaroukh]

As some people said here you already made the mistake of getting married. And she is also right in her way. In third world countries like here the men are expected to take care of the wife. You should be getting things for her like small jewellery, nice clothes etc but she can not demand that you have to buy her house etc.

You should ask her about her family. Ask her what her father bought for her mother, likewise ask about her brother, sister other members of family who married a Thai man.

[BFerearnk]

"My partner is nearly 40th years younger then me."

Perhaps post in the gay section because this is a discussion about his wife not a "partner"

The point the other posters were talking about applies to heterosexual relationships with foreign men and Thai women.

I do feel that the OP has married a gold digger in disguise.

The only thing that I would do from now on is not to meet these people she talks with. I wouldn't go out to dinner with people that only talked about their money and what they buy.

I would take off for a month or so and live in BKK. Tell your wife that you need a break from her. Tell her that you thought your life was built on mutual love and respect and that you were building a life together, not building a life for her. You feel taken for granted and not appreciated and if all she wants is a rich man to care for her go ahead, but he will also treat her like a subservient mistress and not a wife. Also tell her that you could also find someone younger that wants less than she does.

Or be a wussy and hen pecked. Take a stand or don't. Would you rather be alone and confident or with her and feel unworthy?

Is a longtime partnership between two people not the same as be married ?

The only thing you need to marry is if you got childern are if one of you die the finances are regulated, for the rest nothing.

Read between the lines what I want to say ...PLEASE The only thing is that partners not talk enought and make there points before going for there future. OK

[Robert24]

All Thai women, and before anyone says it. YES all of them, I can just hear some of you now. Well Im 100% sure my wife is not like that. I have news for you. SHE IS They are interested in one thing only, Money....and the material things it buys. End Of !!!

I have seen so many times, as soon as the husband dies, the house gets sold, and they move away with their Thai boyfriend. In some circumstances he doesnt even have to die. Oh Darling Im going to visit my Mum for a few days, BULLSHIT.

My advice to any Farang is stay alone. When you want a bit of company pay for it, as little as possible. You will save yourself a lot of heartache and loads of cash.

No they are not. Some Thai actually have more or equal financial means as their husband, whether Thai or foreigner. Some actually have meaningful financial means, it all depends. My wife is not rich but she had quite a bit of land in her name + some decent savings which she contributed to our joint business. Sorry but I have to disagree with your statement. Your experience is somehow limited.

[HooHaa]

All Thai women, and before anyone says it. YES all of them, I can just hear some of you now. Well Im 100% sure my wife is not like that. I have news for you. SHE IS They are interested in one thing only, Money....and the material things it buys. End Of !!!

I have seen so many times, as soon as the husband dies, the house gets sold, and they move away with their Thai boyfriend. In some circumstances he doesnt even have to die. Oh Darling Im going to visit my Mum for a few days, BULLSHIT.

My advice to any Farang is stay alone. When you want a bit of company pay for it, as little as possible. You will save yourself a lot of heartache and loads of cash.

i pity you your assumption that these relationships are limited to geriatrics with open wallets.

[zeichen]

" Is a longtime partnership between two people not the same as be married ?"

NO they are not the same,

but the issue of this conversation is the motivation of the relationship.

Men and women both have different motivation for relationships. I don't presume to know what motivation same sex partners have for relationships besides sex, companionship.

Besides as stated before this is about the motivation of Thai women, and since your partner is a man, then nothing you say about his motivation to be with you is actually pertinent to this conversation.

"The only thing you need to marry is if you got childern are if one of you die the finances are regulated, for the rest nothing.

Read between the lines what I want to say ...PLEASE The only thing is that partners not talk enought and make there points before going for there future. OK"

To be honest, I don't understand a single word of that but I assume it really isn't contributing to the OP's dilemma.

[zeichen]

"All Thai women, and before anyone says it. YES all of them, I can just hear some of you now. Well Im 100% sure my wife is not like that. I have news for you. SHE IS They are interested in one thing only, Money....and the material things it buys. End Of !!!"

stopthegreed,

Did you eat lead paint chips as a kid?

There are literally 100,000's of very humble and non materialistic people in this country. The majority of women are hard working and contributed not only to their family but support their own parents as well. NOt every woman needs or desires a man to support them. There are a lot fewer housewives especially from middle and upper middle class families here in Thailand than in Korea or the US.

[BFerearnk]

" Is a longtime partnership between two people not the same as be married ?"

NO they are not the same,

but the issue of this conversation is the motivation of the relationship.

Men and women both have different motivation for relationships. I don't presume to know what motivation same sex partners have for relationships besides sex, companionship.

Besides as stated before this is about the motivation of Thai women, and since your partner is a man, then nothing you say about his motivation to be with you is actually pertinent to this conversation.

"The only thing you need to marry is if you got childern are if one of you die the finances are regulated, for the rest nothing.

Read between the lines what I want to say ...PLEASE The only thing is that partners not talk enought and make there points before going for there future. OK"

To be honest, I don't understand a single word of that but I assume it really isn't contributing to the OP's dilemma.

Dure the comprenure, as we say joking. Real man he

[BFerearnk]

Forgot in my replay, dear SING

So be maried = the man take his wife to be served ! Not for COMPANIONSHIP or sex and this for sure at a older age ......OR

[NeverSure]

He knows where the money is, where my bankcard and the pincode, even knows how to use my internetbanking. NEVER A SINGLE BAHT HE TAKE.

And yes, sometimes I must remember him to take more care with money, but he is learning quick.

Oooooo Eeeeeee....

[jcnbkk]

ah one more thing I forgot to mention. If the age difference is big (i.e. 25, 30 yrs +) than it is obvious that one of the key motives will be money/financial status.

Some would say they just want what all women want- security, especially, for when they get old..