kannot Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Treat them like children as that's basically what they are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eldragon Posted June 14, 2015 Author Share Posted June 14, 2015 Question: Do Thai People Enjoy Putting Each Other Down? Answer: People Enjoy Putting Each Other Down. Synopsis: It's a human thing among the lower classes. However, one can rise above it, regardless of class and status. I try to remind myself that any of the many apparent annoyances about Thai culture and Thai people are in fact common amongst humanity and people in general, and that the same things happen back home. The fact that there's more low class people here just means some things are going to be more common. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eldragon Posted June 14, 2015 Author Share Posted June 14, 2015 nahhh. I don t think they are that way even with other farangs it's probanly you Was waiting for that one. Knew it wouldn't take long Don`t know how old you are? But you seem to have much to learn about life experiences. I have worked in many countries and it`s always been the same, that when you are the new boy, your work colleges will try it on, meaning, because they know you are at a disadvantage being new, unless a person comes in of a high rank. The trick is, to make it apparent from the start that you`re not one who will tolerant BS by displaying your feelings in a clear, firm and precise way without going over the top or being paranoid. As the wise man says; start as you mean to continue, or just tolerate it and be the long and suffering. This seems to only have a snowball effect and makes things worse. Suggestions of "jai yen yen" and accusations of "jai roan" quickly come to the surface. Confirmations that foreigners are all angry. Etc. Come to think of it, the thing that's worked best for me with Thais like this is guilt. Try to make em feel like they've overstepped themselves or deeply offended you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geronimo Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Well here's one for a start, imagine having to work with someone who makes ten times more than you do? Don't take it personal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asheron Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Well here's one for a start, imagine having to work with someone who makes ten times more than you do? Don't take it personal. A normal person would think "who cares how much someone has in salary and even if i cared why would i treat that person badly because of it". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geronimo Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Well here's one for a start, imagine having to work with someone who makes ten times more than you do? Don't take it personal. A normal person would think "who cares how much someone has in salary and even if i cared why would i treat that person badly because of it". What is normal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannot Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Well here's one for a start, imagine having to work with someone who makes ten times more than you do? Don't take it personal. A normal person would think "who cares how much someone has in salary and even if i cared why would i treat that person badly because of it". What is normal? everyone thinks they are "normal" is what it is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert24 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 No, I think it must be just your office environment. Thais are in general polite and treat others with respect. Maybe you should change jobs and go work somewhere else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
konying Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 No, I think it must be just your office environment. Thais are in general polite and treat others with respect. Maybe you should change jobs and go work somewhere else. Either you never worked with Thai or have poor understanding . Yes they smile, and then casually drop in conversation how much money bf gave or how much they spent on something. Usually with someone who they know do not have the money . Not sure how you call that respect ? But it's said with a smile so yeah, would polite Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h90 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 No, I think it must be just your office environment. Thais are in general polite and treat others with respect. Maybe you should change jobs and go work somewhere else. Either you never worked with Thai or have poor understanding . Yes they smile, and then casually drop in conversation how much money bf gave or how much they spent on something. Usually with someone who they know do not have the money . Not sure how you call that respect ? But it's said with a smile so yeah, would polite and beside that, they tend to make groups and mob single person or battle other groups. + the management style is as well the opposite of polite....name calling in a way every European would resign. Making others be wrong...like see some mistake and do nothing and wait till the work mate gets a problem and than add some smart a$$ comments. But with enough pressure.....If Miss A resigns than the others must take over her job without overtime payment. If something wrong goes out everyone in the office will get a deduction from salary. If someone recommend a person for a job he is also responsible for their performance and for their removal if they are troublemaker etc.. And removing everyone who plays games it works after a while. Here it is working very well by now and everyone understand that the company has only money for them, if the money comes in from the customer. But it needed 10 years.... And of course rough ugly jokes on someone expenses are always welcome in a technical production, staff must be able to live with that. Mobbing, backstabbing not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sipi Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 My wife and her family are always taking the mickey out of me. It sure brightens up an otherwise dull day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jdiddy Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Im sure its nowhere near on the same level as an australian building site, you need to lighten up, develop an ego and throw the shit back at them and have fun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert24 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 No, I think it must be just your office environment. Thais are in general polite and treat others with respect. Maybe you should change jobs and go work somewhere else. Either you never worked with Thai or have poor understanding . Yes they smile, and then casually drop in conversation how much money bf gave or how much they spent on something. Usually with someone who they know do not have the money . Not sure how you call that respect ? But it's said with a smile so yeah, would polite I've worked with Thais over many years so it can't be that. So it must be that I have poor understanding according to you:) I think you would fit right in, in the office environment where the Op is working. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eldragon Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 Well here's one for a start, imagine having to work with someone who makes ten times more than you do? Don't take it personal. While they may think I'm in possession of more money than they individually have, my salary is the lowest in the office. And they all know it. But I provide a service they can't, so I'm there... Anyway, I found a great solution: guilt. If you can find a way to make people like this feel guilty, they will usually come around. B/c deep down, most Thais are generally good hearted people. I know they just get a little carried away with the jokes. And they probably don't realize I'm hearing the same variety of jokes from almost everyone there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Grumpy Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Crab in the bucket syndrome. Not many Thais are happy. Can't say I blame them for that to be honest. Many if not most have horrid lives with no hope of progression. Some just deal with it better than others. Most don't deal with it very well. What is so horrid about their life? When they only look 24 hours ahead Do you want to live as a Thai for 24 hours? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Grumpy Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 ah yes, the 'you make ten times what they make' card. It's odd. I've had some very nasty stuff done to me by some low-class Thai guys. the attitude of everyone's superiors was that well, your income is ten times theirs, so never mind. Then on the other hand, clients of mine earn 50 times what I do, one flies 50 of his buddies to Japan for a week of golfing every year, first class, 5 star hotels, pays for all of them. Nice guy, nice people, funny that I don't stick razor blades in their tires to get back at them for being richer than me, isn't it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
konying Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 No, I think it must be just your office environment. Thais are in general polite and treat others with respect. Maybe you should change jobs and go work somewhere else. Either you never worked with Thai or have poor understanding . Yes they smile, and then casually drop in conversation how much money bf gave or how much they spent on something. Usually with someone who they know do not have the money . Not sure how you call that respect ? But it's said with a smile so yeah, would polite I've worked with Thais over many years so it can't be that. So it must be that I have poor understanding according to you:) I think you would fit right in, in the office environment where the Op is working. Sure i would fit right in, i have a clear understanding of fake smiles and fake respect, you on the other hand most likely believe you are a sexy man, because a hooker screams "sexy man" when you walk past the bar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
konying Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 (edited) Crab in the bucket syndrome. Not many Thais are happy. Can't say I blame them for that to be honest. Many if not most have horrid lives with no hope of progression. Some just deal with it better than others. Most don't deal with it very well. What is so horrid about their life? When they only look 24 hours ahead Do you want to live as a Thai for 24 hours? Anyone forced them to loose ability to live/think/see past that? Edited June 15, 2015 by konying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1900 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 It is very possibly a sign of affection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h90 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Im sure its nowhere near on the same level as an australian building site, you need to lighten up, develop an ego and throw the shit back at them and have fun Throw the shit back in a foreign language and have fun?? If it works for you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdanielmcev Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Depends. Thais seem not to have restrictions that the west has taught. If you are fat, they say you are fat. If you are foolish, they say you are foolish. But, yeah, it's probably you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RasiMike Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 It's my experience that some Thai people do like to put others down, but no more than anywhere else I've been. Their lack of PC understanding is a GOOD thing and what could be thought of as a slight by some cultures may just be good old fashioned honesty - the type that isn't so common in the west anymore. There are always those in an office, village setting or a family that HAVE to be at the top of their perceived ladder and will go out of their way for face. I think most just like the occasional nip or peck to reinforce their position - just like their dogs, hens and roosters do. My wife and I moved to an area in our early years, where she wasn't considered a local and the neighborhood hierarchy made many attempts to put her and the farang in their place. It was my intro to the Thai style "stepping on heads to get taller" as my wife calls it. Over the years the BS stopped and most of the nastier individuals have had to retreat back under their stone. Other offenders are easily ignored or sent home after getting a nip from my lovely wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h90 Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 It's my experience that some Thai people do like to put others down, but no more than anywhere else I've been. Their lack of PC understanding is a GOOD thing and what could be thought of as a slight by some cultures may just be good old fashioned honesty - the type that isn't so common in the west anymore. There are always those in an office, village setting or a family that HAVE to be at the top of their perceived ladder and will go out of their way for face. I think most just like the occasional nip or peck to reinforce their position - just like their dogs, hens and roosters do. My wife and I moved to an area in our early years, where she wasn't considered a local and the neighborhood hierarchy made many attempts to put her and the farang in their place. It was my intro to the Thai style "stepping on heads to get taller" as my wife calls it. Over the years the BS stopped and most of the nastier individuals have had to retreat back under their stone. Other offenders are easily ignored or sent home after getting a nip from my lovely wife. I complete and my wife mostly ignore other people. What let everyone believe that we are hi-so and rich and very kind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pitrevie Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 I think Barry Humphries summed it up well, "I was born in Melbourne with a precious gift. Dame Nature stooped over my cot and gave me this gift. It was the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nottocus Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Well here's one for a start, imagine having to work with someone who makes ten times more than you do? Don't take it personal. While they may think I'm in possession of more money than they individually have, my salary is the lowest in the office. And they all know it. But I provide a service they can't, so I'm there... Anyway, I found a great solution: guilt. If you can find a way to make people like this feel guilty, they will usually come around. B/c deep down, most Thais are generally good hearted people. I know they just get a little carried away with the jokes. And they probably don't realize I'm hearing the same variety of jokes from almost everyone there. Not just Thais. Filipinos I've worked with resented me because I made more money than them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lormakmak Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Thai's are like one armed waiters..... They can dish it out but they can't take it back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheryl Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 While negative gossip behind people's backs is common in this culture, it is definitely not the norm for Thais to put each other down or be disrespectful face to face except under exceptional circumstances, e.g. when a group has decided to shun or punish someone for a serious infraction, then they may start acting this way.. Nor is it the norm, in my experience, for them to do so to foreign coworkers. There are a few possibilities here: (1) you may be misinterpreting their tone/behavior; or (2) if they have not worked with foreigners before they may be nervous around you and it may manifest like this. When Thais are nervous or unsure how to act they will often laugh or (in western eyes) smirk in ways that seem inappropriate/offensive to a westerner. Another possibility is that you have somehow seriously offended them, or that for some other reason they resent you being in your position (did you replace a popular Thai? beat one out for a promotion?) but let's hope this isn't it and that they are not intentionally coming across this way but rather that it is a cultural misunderstanding. Would help to have clearer examples of the behavior. If you feel sure that they are, in fact, intentionally being unpleasant/disrespectful then I would suggest seeking out whichever Thai there seems most friendly to you for a private talk. Ask them what is going on, explaining that you feel hurt and truly don't understand why this is happening. That may be enough to stop it altogether, or at least reduce it. Or, if it is due to something you are doing, you'll finally know what and be able to adapt accordingly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h90 Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 While negative gossip behind people's backs is common in this culture, it is definitely not the norm for Thais to put each other down or be disrespectful face to face except under exceptional circumstances, e.g. when a group has decided to shun or punish someone for a serious infraction, then they may start acting this way.. Nor is it the norm, in my experience, for them to do so to foreign coworkers. There are a few possibilities here: (1) you may be misinterpreting their tone/behavior; or (2) if they have not worked with foreigners before they may be nervous around you and it may manifest like this. When Thais are nervous or unsure how to act they will often laugh or (in western eyes) smirk in ways that seem inappropriate/offensive to a westerner. Another possibility is that you have somehow seriously offended them, or that for some other reason they resent you being in your position (did you replace a popular Thai? beat one out for a promotion?) but let's hope this isn't it and that they are not intentionally coming across this way but rather that it is a cultural misunderstanding. Would help to have clearer examples of the behavior. If you feel sure that they are, in fact, intentionally being unpleasant/disrespectful then I would suggest seeking out whichever Thai there seems most friendly to you for a private talk. Ask them what is going on, explaining that you feel hurt and truly don't understand why this is happening. That may be enough to stop it altogether, or at least reduce it. Or, if it is due to something you are doing, you'll finally know what and be able to adapt accordingly. There are some western companies which are very degenerated. As well some Thai companies which are corrupt to the bone without any management and the different groups inside battle each other. Sure not the norm but I have seen it several times Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h90 Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Depends. Thais seem not to have restrictions that the west has taught. If you are fat, they say you are fat. If you are foolish, they say you are foolish. But, yeah, it's probably you. You can tell someone that he got really fat over the last years.....but do not tell that he/she got a real nice dark tone from working outside in the sun which would be complete OK in the west Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIPinthailand Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 don't reply to them or you lose face and eventually lose your job. best way is take your salary and enjoy your life , no politic, no answer, give them no sign of reply , just do your job. at the end, we are still the rich farangs and they are the poor Thais it doesn't matter. Thailand will always be a third world country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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