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Thai "Blues"is it normal?


n210mp

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In that time and prior to becoming an ExPat my wife and I for the previous ten years used to have three months a year here and I must say that it seemed like a much better quality place in the past than it is at this present time.

Places are always better when you're on holiday!

(apart from Wales, which is always pants)

Edited by MaeJoMTB
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I believe no matter where you are in the world you are going to get the blues if you follow too much media. There is a lot going on in the world, Thailand has had some issues and is still pulling through some issues however I believe it is a stable country to be in regardless of the current issues some may have.

I start to get the "What the hell am I doing here" feeling every now and then. Mainly because I have been slack and not put any real effort into learning the language. I have been here for just over a year, so not as long as a lot of people here.

However I did find, after around 8 months I started to feel I should head back to Australia. I normally stay at home so it doesn't really feel like I am living in a different country as all my clients, customers and work is still in Australia so I spend most of my time online working anyway. It is just that I can't go out, relax and speak with someone.

For me: Living in Thailand is far better than living in Australia, not being able to go out and have a chat with mates over a cold one isn't that much of a big deal when I look at the following:

Cost of living: Very low in Thailand allowing for much higher savings and retirement can be moved forward. Ongoing expenses like utilities, water,garbage collection etc is very low. Food, travel and general living expenses are so low.

Great people: While you get good and bad people everywhere I find there is actual customer service in Thailand not like Australia. And they appear to care if you have a problem with a product or service. This includes government sector, they will try and help you here.

Then looking at living in Australia:

Cost of living: Over the top Rates, taxes and other fees and charges they come up with. Over priced goods with no customer service or any care if they sold you a bad item. Property market is way over priced for what you get and why would you buy want to buy when you have to send more per month on rates and other charges than you would have to pay for a years worth of electricity, water, garbage collection and other utilities in Thailand.

Great people: Great people in Australia as well. However no customer service, no service with government departments. You are just expected to put up with no services and pay a high price for the privilege.

As a business owner and Australian citizen it makes no sense to stay there. I love Australia, don't get me wrong. I can't stand the over priced market and lack of care for the public. The country is great and the people, cost of living and value for money simple isn't there anymore.

So when it comes down to it, financially it makes much more sense being in Thailand. I enjoy helping people and in Thailand it a $1 goes a long way. $1,000 goes even further and can help a lot of people. So not only can I and my family live a comfortable life while still saving a more. We can help a lot more people through donations or simple buying a car load of blankets, food and other useful things and just giving them out.

This reasoning tends to help me get over the blues pretty quickly. My life is so much better in Thailand and I believe there is a lot more freedom here to do what you want in life.

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There's probably many depressed foreigners here I would think.

Based on some of the venomous posts on here, one suspects there are people who are are still "depressed" about their Thailand experiences and no longer live in the country and haven't done so in a while, what happened to these people that scarred them so much ?

laugh.png

They thought theirs was different.

It's a pretty damaging moment, when you realize she wasn't.

Tut tut , you are soo,, judgemental .

If you have not lost a house or two , or a car or two ,

You obviously ,have not integrated , into thai culture .

Time will tell .

I lucky, kap

Edited by elliss
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Its amazing that I can agree wholeheartedly with perhaps 50% of someone's post and then they spoil it by making a sweeping generalisation that makes me think that they are at least superficial in their outlook if not downright malicious!

Most guys know how to recognize that they aren't happy and do something about it. That may be leaving the country or making adjustments within the country.

"Some people" would tell you that you are a loser if you can't cut it in Thailand but be aware that "those people" may well be the people who don't know how to get out of their own trap. Why else could they be so unhappy as to come onto an internet forum and put everyone down while building themselves up?

"Some people" actually hang out at two different similar forums doing the same thing - driving everyone nuts while pontificating about how important they are. Trust me, they would be losers who you should ignore. Pay attention to the people who claim to have good lives and will accept that you can too, but not necessarily by following their mandates for you.

I don't know if you'll really get good advice from people on a forum who have mixed amounts of happiness, but you won't get it from any bullies who spend their day trying to convince you and themselves that they are important and have it all figured out. Ignore internet tough guys and run your own life. You aren't a loser if you're satisfied with your own life.

Cheers.

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I believe no matter where you are in the world you are going to get the blues if you follow too much media. There is a lot going on in the world, Thailand has had some issues and is still pulling through some issues however I believe it is a stable country to be in regardless of the current issues some may have.

I start to get the "What the hell am I doing here" feeling every now and then. Mainly because I have been slack and not put any real effort into learning the language. I have been here for just over a year, so not as long as a lot of people here.

However I did find, after around 8 months I started to feel I should head back to Australia. I normally stay at home so it doesn't really feel like I am living in a different country as all my clients, customers and work is still in Australia so I spend most of my time online working anyway. It is just that I can't go out, relax and speak with someone.

For me: Living in Thailand is far better than living in Australia, not being able to go out and have a chat with mates over a cold one isn't that much of a big deal when I look at the following:

Cost of living: Very low in Thailand allowing for much higher savings and retirement can be moved forward. Ongoing expenses like utilities, water,garbage collection etc is very low. Food, travel and general living expenses are so low.

Great people: While you get good and bad people everywhere I find there is actual customer service in Thailand not like Australia. And they appear to care if you have a problem with a product or service. This includes government sector, they will try and help you here.

Then looking at living in Australia:

Cost of living: Over the top Rates, taxes and other fees and charges they come up with. Over priced goods with no customer service or any care if they sold you a bad item. Property market is way over priced for what you get and why would you buy want to buy when you have to send more per month on rates and other charges than you would have to pay for a years worth of electricity, water, garbage collection and other utilities in Thailand.

Great people: Great people in Australia as well. However no customer service, no service with government departments. You are just expected to put up with no services and pay a high price for the privilege.

As a business owner and Australian citizen it makes no sense to stay there. I love Australia, don't get me wrong. I can't stand the over priced market and lack of care for the public. The country is great and the people, cost of living and value for money simple isn't there anymore.

So when it comes down to it, financially it makes much more sense being in Thailand. I enjoy helping people and in Thailand it a $1 goes a long way. $1,000 goes even further and can help a lot of people. So not only can I and my family live a comfortable life while still saving a more. We can help a lot more people through donations or simple buying a car load of blankets, food and other useful things and just giving them out.

This reasoning tends to help me get over the blues pretty quickly. My life is so much better in Thailand and I believe there is a lot more freedom here to do what you want in life.

Great post. My following reply is in now way a dig at TV. I stopped posting on here about 6/7 months ago. It was the time when the koh Tao backpacker killings were in full swing. It was to depressing on here (I know I could ignore the posts but it was hard to avoid) so I stopped reading and posting on here

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Its amazing that I can agree wholeheartedly with perhaps 50% of someone's post and then they spoil it by making a sweeping generalisation that makes me think that they are at least superficial in their outlook if not downright malicious!

Most guys know how to recognize that they aren't happy and do something about it. That may be leaving the country or making adjustments within the country.

"Some people" would tell you that you are a loser if you can't cut it in Thailand but be aware that "those people" may well be the people who don't know how to get out of their own trap. Why else could they be so unhappy as to come onto an internet forum and put everyone down while building themselves up?

"Some people" actually hang out at two different similar forums doing the same thing - driving everyone nuts while pontificating about how important they are. Trust me, they would be losers who you should ignore. Pay attention to the people who claim to have good lives and will accept that you can too, but not necessarily by following their mandates for you.

I don't know if you'll really get good advice from people on a forum who have mixed amounts of happiness, but you won't get it from any bullies who spend their day trying to convince you and themselves that they are important and have it all figured out. Ignore internet tough guys and run your own life. You aren't a loser if you're satisfied with your own life.

Cheers.

I don't believe anyone has said anyone is a loser if they cant make it in Thailand,

I believe people have inferred one is loser if they feel inclined to get on a Thailand website long after they have left a country with the express purpose of slagging the country/people /resident foreigners off and trying to convince people Thailand is such a bad place, this is my perception of why people are being called losers.

Anyway why you so uptight ? Thought they had just legalised the recreational use of Marijuana in Oregon

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There is always going to be conflict on forums. So many different people from different backgrounds with very different views however here I would assume we all have something in common.... Living overseas......Living in Thailand......

Getting advice from a forum! Nothing wrong with that, especially when it is a forum of people that are all experiencing the same as yourself. Putting up with people putting everyone down because of their own insecurities is an issue.

You only live once (for those that believe in reincarnation I am talking about the current life). So why would you live it unhappy all the time and insecure. You should be enjoying life and all those little problems that are making you unhappy shouldn't be too hard to resolve.

No I am not a hippy or a religious person, I just enjoy my life and if something is not right fix it. Asking questions and reading posts on this forum can help a great deal as you get others points of view. And sometimes getting a point of view from a person you don't know, has no emotional attachment to the problem can give the best advise.

Getting the blues is a part of life, we all start to question what we are doing. Sometimes it means we need a change or mix things up a little.

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I had the "Thai Blues" so bad about aa year ago that I wanted to hang myself.

Then I remembered that in Thailand you must tie your hands behind your back before hanging yourself.

I am just not that clever.

How do those guys do it?whistling.gif

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only the russkys now that trick can tie plastic bag over head tie hands behind back and bullet in head

police report killed oneself case closed

Correct me if I am wrong, wasnt the alleged quote something along the lines of, most obvious case of suicide I have ever seen?. Case closed, and Hi 5s and slaps on the back all round for brilliant detective work, Sherlock Holmes himself would have been impressed.

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I had the "Thai Blues" so bad about aa year ago that I wanted to hang myself.

Then I remembered that in Thailand you must tie your hands behind your back before hanging yourself.

I am just not that clever.

How do those guys do it?whistling.gif

This could be a new topic ,clap2.gif

How to top, yourself .

Those who post replies , have obviously failed .wai2.gif

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I had the "Thai Blues" so bad about aa year ago that I wanted to hang myself.

Then I remembered that in Thailand you must tie your hands behind your back before hanging yourself.

I am just not that clever.

How do those guys do it?whistling.gif

If it was keenot asking, I'd provide some help.

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Its amazing that I can agree wholeheartedly with perhaps 50% of someone's post and then they spoil it by making a sweeping generalisation that makes me think that they are at least superficial in their outlook if not downright malicious!

Most guys know how to recognize that they aren't happy and do something about it. That may be leaving the country or making adjustments within the country.

"Some people" would tell you that you are a loser if you can't cut it in Thailand but be aware that "those people" may well be the people who don't know how to get out of their own trap. Why else could they be so unhappy as to come onto an internet forum and put everyone down while building themselves up?

"Some people" actually hang out at two different similar forums doing the same thing - driving everyone nuts while pontificating about how important they are. Trust me, they would be losers who you should ignore. Pay attention to the people who claim to have good lives and will accept that you can too, but not necessarily by following their mandates for you.

I don't know if you'll really get good advice from people on a forum who have mixed amounts of happiness, but you won't get it from any bullies who spend their day trying to convince you and themselves that they are important and have it all figured out. Ignore internet tough guys and run your own life. You aren't a loser if you're satisfied with your own life.

Cheers.

I don't believe anyone has said anyone is a loser if they cant make it in Thailand,

I believe people have inferred one is loser if they feel inclined to get on a Thailand website long after they have left a country with the express purpose of slagging the country/people /resident foreigners off and trying to convince people Thailand is such a bad place, this is my perception of why people are being called losers.

Anyway why you so uptight ? Thought they had just legalised the recreational use of Marijuana in Oregon

I wonder what is worse....a bully....or....the enablers....?

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I get the 'blues" in Thailand, but if I had to go live back home I think I'd top myself.

As a wise person said on TV a while back, people top themselves in Thailand not because of Thailand, but because they can no longer live here.

Edited by thaibeachlovers
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I get the 'blues" in Thailand, but if I had to go live back home I think I'd top myself.

As a wise person said on TV a while back, people top themselves in Thailand not because of Thailand, but because they can no longer live here.

Maybe some wash up on the shores of Thailand with mental health issues or a large chip on their shoulder,or some people are topped by others like a fellow countryman of mine found hanged in his garden in Pattaya hands tied togheter with tie wraps and a plastic bag over his head and the will and suicide note stuck to his body with duck tape,and his Thai wife of many years was apparently up country visiting family when al this happened.

And that fantastic local police farce concluded it was suicide......

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I think that this thread has run its course MODS, please lose before it gets 180 degrees completely off topic and bears no relationship to the questions in the OP

Thanks

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Depression only affects people who sit around all day, every day.

I was completely hacked off yesterday in the UK, and recognition is everything. I was working on my latest Kindle offering, it wasn't going right, I thought it would never be right, but I'm conscious that you've got to separate that from giving up. So I tied myself in knots until I finally acted, and instantly I felt better. I also forced myself to set about tidying my pigsty, having prevaricated and festered for weeks. I then helped the neighbour's kid put his scooter back together - Zen and the art of doing something practical. Boy did I feel better at the end of it.

But add cultural dislocation and incredible heat and it takes a pretty determined person to pull themselves out of Churchill's "black dog" mood. One of the reasons I'm frightened to take the one year visa and give it a go is that I know my limitations. I'm pretty determined but heat and culture shock is the slow 24/7 application of a screw, and it might be hard to pull out of a stall. The theory is that you need to build "flow" into the day. Flow means being totally immersed in something so that you forget all about yourself. I think for most farangs five aside football would be the absolute business. If people could arrange a league, with better and younger players agreeing to "guest" for the opposition to even things up, it would do a lot of good. I'm inclined to think that Chiang Mai, Bangkok and Pattaya have the big advantage that you've a chance of arranging things like this.

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,or some people are topped by others like a fellow countryman of mine found hanged in his garden in Pattaya hands tied togheter with tie wraps and a plastic bag over his head and the will and suicide note stuck to his body with duck tape,and his Thai wife of many years was apparently up country visiting family when al this happened.

And that fantastic local police farce concluded it was suicide......

Is that 100% accurate? What nationality was the dead bloke? I would have thought that one email to the embassy for most countries would mean one email from the ambassador and all of a sudden a cop can't do enough and someone's been arrested. If you're a Brit, for example, the idea that the Thai state will suit a random Thai - who they'd be minded to hammer just on general principles - rather than curry favour with the UK is pretty fanciful.

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Some people will tell you you're a loser....

A bloke in Nong Khai - Finnish, long term resident - talked about people who "..won't make it" on my first day in Thailand. I remember thinking, "This isn't supposed to be special forces selection". If something involves "hacking it" you need to ask yourself whether you should be doing it at all.

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only the russkys now that trick can tie plastic bag over head tie hands behind back and bullet in head

police report killed oneself case closed

Correct me if I am wrong, wasnt the alleged quote something along the lines of, most obvious case of suicide I have ever seen?. Case closed, and Hi 5s and slaps on the back all round for brilliant detective work, Sherlock Holmes himself would have been impressed.

Alan Coren had the final word on this in the Idi Amin Diaries. Amin is giving his account of the "suicide" of one of the members of his government. "A com' in an say, "No, no Chris, you crazy fool, but it too late, he dun shot hisself, six times in de back of de head wit' de trusty .455 Webberly". Or something like that.

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Everyone lives in a very specific set of circumstances, regardless of country. You may or may not like your own specific set of circumstances. If you live in Thailand, you don't live in the whole of Thailand--you just live in one little speck. The same thing could be said for a person's "home country." Comparing one little speck in one country to another little speck in another country is fine as long as you realize that is what you are doing.



There might be living situations/locations in Thailand that really suit you and others that you don't like at all. The same thing goes for any other country.



For those people who are moving back to their "home" country, I wonder how many of them are moving back into exactly the same circumstances as when they left. Probably few or none.




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I think that this thread has run its course MODS, please lose before it gets 180 degrees completely off topic and bears no relationship to the questions in the OP

Thanks

Oh arent you a party pooper!

Depression only affects people who sit around all day, every day.

I was completely hacked off yesterday in the UK, and recognition is everything. I was working on my latest Kindle offering, it wasn't going right, I thought it would never be right, but I'm conscious that you've got to separate that from giving up. So I tied myself in knots until I finally acted, and instantly I felt better. I also forced myself to set about tidying my pigsty, having prevaricated and festered for weeks. I then helped the neighbour's kid put his scooter back together - Zen and the art of doing something practical. Boy did I feel better at the end of it.

But add cultural dislocation and incredible heat and it takes a pretty determined person to pull themselves out of Churchill's "black dog" mood. One of the reasons I'm frightened to take the one year visa and give it a go is that I know my limitations. I'm pretty determined but heat and culture shock is the slow 24/7 application of a screw, and it might be hard to pull out of a stall. The theory is that you need to build "flow" into the day. Flow means being totally immersed in something so that you forget all about yourself. I think for most farangs five aside football would be the absolute business. If people could arrange a league, with better and younger players agreeing to "guest" for the opposition to even things up, it would do a lot of good. I'm inclined to think that Chiang Mai, Bangkok and Pattaya have the big advantage that you've a chance of arranging things like this.

SBW2

No Im

Not normally but this thread has gone off direction a few times, that is ok, perfectly acceptable, sometimes it can even give a thread another point of view that maybe relevant to the OP but when suicide is discussed and with so little relevance to the OP then it's time to say enough is enough!

I was ready for the thread to end before it got even worse when the excellent and well informed post from Craig Krup made me realise that the thread may not be dead in the water at all

Whilst suffering all my life from a cyclical medium type of depression I would like to say that whilst exercises and being occupied are very helpful in the treatment of "depression" in truth there is not a lot one can do about it.

The severity of the illness leave one with little or in fact no control.

So please to those who so knowledgeably say that this illness is all in the mind and can be controlled by a strong will power, go and do some homework and then just be happy that you do not suffer from its terrible and sometimes deadly symptoms

Just to remind you what the OP is all about "Coping strategies" not necessarily for the treatment of depression but a simple case of the "blues".

Edited by n210mp
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Pattaya isnt Thailand to me, I have never lived in Pattaya although visited the place a few times, I don't like it all... I wouldn't really call it 'proper Thailand'

Seems to me your friends need to experience Thailand for real and not just some scummy seedy area sat on a bar stool supping beer with bar girls, that's not a dig by the way. How about trying somewhere else out in Thailand away from the tourist zones?

I have lived in Thailand for 3 years and since moving up NE Thailand I am much more happy and relaxed with my wife and son, I don't think I could stay in Pattaya etc for more than a week, I also hate the seedy places in BKK. Up here I have met so many proper friends Thai and non Thai who are genuine.

Cheers

But , come on Ryan..... anywhere is better than 'ull... !

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,or some people are topped by others like a fellow countryman of mine found hanged in his garden in Pattaya hands tied togheter with tie wraps and a plastic bag over his head and the will and suicide note stuck to his body with duck tape,and his Thai wife of many years was apparently up country visiting family when al this happened.

And that fantastic local police farce concluded it was suicide......

Is that 100% accurate? What nationality was the dead bloke? I would have thought that one email to the embassy for most countries would mean one email from the ambassador and all of a sudden a cop can't do enough and someone's been arrested. If you're a Brit, for example, the idea that the Thai state will suit a random Thai - who they'd be minded to hammer just on general principles - rather than curry favour with the UK is pretty fanciful.

I hate to be the one to inform you of this Craig, but the British Embassy will take nothing at all to do with a matter such as this... NOTHING...! unless the man had hung himself inside the Embassy grounds,,, wai2.gif

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Obviously Bakseeda doesn't either read the posts just prior to his blatant attempt to take this thread off topic, or he trying to wind me up personally.

Bakseeda If you wish to start a thread on the suicide or not of any unfortunate that has either been murdered or not please go and start it in a new thread started by yourself.

Your on topic comments are welcome by the OP if you stick to the topic.

Now if you have anything to offer with regard to the serious question in the OP I would like to hear it, otherwise............................?

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