Random Question.

[Buki]

I am in a relationship for almost 7 years, in fact next month, will be our 7th year together. But these days, my partner seemed to feel that "I am falling out of love". Which, I deny because I don't feel that why. I am still deeply in love with him and I am constantly thinking about him each day when we are not together. Though sometimes, I do need my personal space. But I never exclude him in whatever socializing that I make. He is always part of that decision.

7 years seems to be a feat for this kind of relationship. Personally, I believe that the length of years of our relationship proves that I am still in love with him. But still, he feels differently about it. I just want to ask if any of you or your partner felt this way through the long course of your relationship or have reached this kind "feeling" through the long years.

Tell me your thoughts...

Edited September 17, 2006 by Buki

[popshirt]

Well there is what is known as "the seven year itch" and there may be something to it.

A relationship is like a river, constantly flowing but always changing.

I was/am in a relationship of 17 years and our relationshiip, while still full of love, has changed dramatically from year one, seven, ....whatever. We are now best friends and both have other boyfriends. These changes do not happen overnight but it is important for the partners to keep talking to each other and to be respectful. Nothing will poison a relationship faster than silence and secrets.

[Buki]

Well there is what is known as "the seven year itch" and there may be something to it.

A relationship is like a river, constantly flowing but always changing.

I was/am in a relationship of 17 years and our relationshiip, while still full of love, has changed dramatically from year one, seven, ....whatever. We are now best friends and both have other boyfriends. These changes do not happen overnight but it is important for the partners to keep talking to each other and to be respectful. Nothing will poison a relationship faster than silence and secrets.

has the change include being boyfriends to bestfriends? And if it did... did it end the intimate relationship?

[popshirt]

Well there is what is known as "the seven year itch" and there may be something to it.

A relationship is like a river, constantly flowing but always changing.

I was/am in a relationship of 17 years and our relationshiip, while still full of love, has changed dramatically from year one, seven, ....whatever. We are now best friends and both have other boyfriends. These changes do not happen overnight but it is important for the partners to keep talking to each other and to be respectful. Nothing will poison a relationship faster than silence and secrets.

has the change include being boyfriends to bestfriends? And if it did... did it end the intimate relationship?

if you mean the sexual part, yes it idid eventually in year 15 or 16.

[Scott]

Gay relationships are quite different from a lot of straight relationships. Gay men tend to be much less monogomous. Put too people together who have monogomy "issues" and you have a good liklihood that someone will stray. That needs to be understood in a lot of relationships.

But sex and love are very different. I have never been able to maintain monogomous, but I have been deeply in love with my partner for nearly 20 years and we've been together through all those years--with only separations related to work out of the country. Even then we couldn't be apart for long and he ended up coming with me or I ended up returning.

At times, we take each other completely for granted and I begin to think there really isn't much there. And then something happens--he ends up in the hospital, I'm involved in an accident etc. and we are instantly and each others side and our agony is reflected in the others face like light in a mirror.

In some ways, the relationship is always changing in others it is so constant.

Your friend may not be talking about falling out of love, but falling out of lust--and that can happen quite easily over time.

[Buki]

Gay relationships are quite different from a lot of straight relationships. Gay men tend to be much less monogomous. Put too people together who have monogomy "issues" and you have a good liklihood that someone will stray. That needs to be understood in a lot of relationships.

But sex and love are very different. I have never been able to maintain monogomous, but I have been deeply in love with my partner for nearly 20 years and we've been together through all those years--with only separations related to work out of the country. Even then we couldn't be apart for long and he ended up coming with me or I ended up returning.

At times, we take each other completely for granted and I begin to think there really isn't much there. And then something happens--he ends up in the hospital, I'm involved in an accident etc. and we are instantly and each others side and our agony is reflected in the others face like light in a mirror.

In some ways, the relationship is always changing in others it is so constant.

Your friend may not be talking about falling out of love, but falling out of lust--and that can happen quite easily over time.

Thank you for your inputs.

I would like to explain the issue and I hope you can help sort out my problem. I wouldn't assume that my partner would equate love to sex, but sometimes, I feel that he does equate it to sex. There are months that I wouldn't like to touch him, its not because I am not sexually attracted to him, but I just don't feel like doing it. Yeah, once or twice is excusable but when its a trend, he already pressumes that I am not into him anymore. I like sex, but I just can't pretend to do it when I am not in the mood. I think he does understand my explaination (or pretends to understand). But he does have his needs and I don't want to be selfish by not giving it to him, so I give in.

Anyways, the good thing about all this is, we can actually put all sexual tensions behind us and still have a wonderful time with each other. We can still enjoy each other's company (eventhough we see each other 24/7, share a bed ... share everything in fact) and still miss each other if we are apart.

Sometimes, I would think that I can definitely live without sex with him... but can he live without sex with me?

Edited September 27, 2006 by Buki