Is Having Mia Noi (mistress) Still Very Common

[Bluecat]

I read long ago in the Thai Airways magazine an article on that subject with a remark about the difference in between Thailand and western countries:

In western countries, everybody (men,...) speaks about having a mistress but very few do it,...

In Thailand, nobody speaks about it but everebody does it,...

Probably exaggerated but I have to say that my experience with Thai men and western men makes me believe it is not that exaggerated,...

[..::LegalAlien::..]

A lot of the Thai guys I know chat endlessly about their various Mia Noi's - Does that then mean they are lying?

[Boo]

Hey bluecat, I know a guy in hubby's town that has a wife, a mia noi, a full time job & an evening job playing music 7 nights a week. On his breaks he always sleeps & never wants to go home, to either wife. I think it was something that just happened as a fling & then the mia noi got pregnant so he stuck by her. Saying that though, he took an interest in a member of this forum when she came to visit me up there, so he obviously thinks he's got enough energy for another! btw The lady in question politely declined

[Bluecat]

I think it was something that just happened as a fling & then the mia noi got pregnant so he stuck by her.

And when there is a baby, welcome next mia noi,...

[Bluecat]

A lot of the Thai guys I know chat endlessly about their various Mia Noi's - Does that then mean they are lying?

Lying, not sure, boasting, sure,...

[..::LegalAlien::..]

Could it just be that your average guy (any nationality) would like (or just like to boast about having) a Mia Noi, but there is more opportunity in Thailand?

[thaiflyer1]

Probably get shot down in flames for saying this but ............i have big wife and little wife........been with b/wife for 5 years and l/wife for 2 years (i live in pattaya). I/m 41 b/wife is 44 and l/wife 24.........they both get same "wages" 15k/month..........i spend 1 night at home (20mins out of pattaya) and 1 night at condo in town with l/wife. I find it works well......horses for courses as they say. Needless to say our "moo bahn" does not have any ducks!! Waiting to be shot down!

[..::LegalAlien::..]

Nice little arrangement

I assume both B/wife and L/wife know about each other?

How did/would B/wife react when/if she found out?

[Bluecat]

Could it just be that your average guy (any nationality) would like (or just like to boast about having) a Mia Noi, but there is more opportunity in Thailand?

Having a mia noi was legal up to 1939 in Thailand. So you were registering your marriage with the mia luang (first wife) as well as any mia noi you had at that time.

This is a bit different than the concept of mistress in the western world (sorry the only translation I found,...), so even these days when a Thai guy has a mia noi, he takes care of her as a wife, financially speaking at least,...

Western guys would like to have a mistress but probably not a mia noi,...

And having more opportunity in Thailand? For being unfaithful, maybe,...

[thaiflyer1]

Forgot about that................l/wife knows about b/wife but b/wife does not know about l/wife. What would she do if she found out..............hhhmmm.......probably have my <deleted>!! Needless to say l/wife does not have my home address or house phone number........only my mobile number.

[Bluecat]

Forgot about that................l/wife knows about b/wife but b/wife does not know about l/wife.

Are you sure?

Anyway, I guess you know that l/wife always want to be b/wife and believe me, if I have your mobile number, I can easily find you and your b/wife.

But maybe, you treat you l/wife so well that she is not interested.

For now,...

[..::LegalAlien::..]

And having more opportunity in Thailand? For being unfaithful, maybe,...

Maybe...?

I know a number of Men (both Thai and Farang) who have situations similar to what thaiflyer1 described (Though in most cases the wife apparently has no knowledge of the Mia Noi). And although I know this also happens in Western Cultures I don't think it is as common. Whether thats because Western Guys keep it quiet (Opposite to what your original post stated) or there is simply less opportunity I'm not sure...

[Bluecat]

(Though in most cases the wife apparently has no knowledge of the Mia Noi).

Actually, in most of the cases, the Thai wife is aware of the mia noi. But I guess farang ladies are less understanding,...

[..::LegalAlien::..]

Blue Cat, I'd also be interested to know how you define the difference between a Mia Noi and a Mistress?

Is simply because you assume that a Mistress does not expect financial gain/assistance?

[thaiflyer1]

Bluecat do you not think it is the case that thai b/wifes tend to turn a blind eye to thier mens indiscretions more than thier farang women counterparts.......providing of course they dont get thier nose rubbed in it (loss of face again?).

[Bluecat]

Blue Cat, I'd also be interested to know how you define the difference between a Mia Noi and a Mistress?

?

You got me, Thaiflyer, I have neither, hope others can help answering,...

[possom]

have a thai friend who has mia noi , mia leuang is fully aware and is a traditional relationship , that is ,he has the means to support 2 women ,so that is his choice . but GOD HELP THE POOR$ BASTARD WHEN HE CAN NOT SUPPORT THEIR NEEDS !!!!! he is always tired !!!!!!!!!!!!1

[possom]

the difference is the same as girlfriend and WIFE !!!!!!!!. that is he is expected to supply all her needs (MIA NOI) not just pop round her place for a **** once a week

[Bluecat]

the difference is the same as girlfriend and WIFE !!!!!!!!. that is he is expected to supply all her needs (MIA NOI) not just pop round her place for a **** once a week

Thanks, Possom.

The right definition.

[..::LegalAlien::..]

Wordsmyth Definition of a "Mistress"

Definition

3.

a woman who has an ongoing extramarital sexual relationship, esp. with a man who gives her financial support.

"gives her financial support" suggests, at least to me, that the said mistress is being treated in a manner that a wife would expect... Therefore I would argue that a Mia Noi and a Mistress are in fact VERY similar names for essentially the same thing...

The word "Mistress" is not given to one time flings or ST's

[..::LegalAlien::..]

not just pop round her place for a **** once a week

Nice!

I would be interested to know how often the Men, who have the pleasure of a Mia Noi, actually get to see their second wife (whilst still under the pretence that their First wife in none the wiser)???

[possom]

just to disagree with the "WESTERN " definition ,from whichever book !!! mia noi is NOT !!! a mistress !!! she is NOT kept for extra marital SEXUAL purposes !!!!! she is kept as a second wife !!!!!!! financial liabilities and all !!!!!!

[thaiflyer1]

Agree with legal alien.......mistress/ mia noi are both the same thing in my eyes. They are both "kept" women..........wouldnt say "once a week ****" is the same thing at all. Anyway will have to catch up with this thread tommorow........its condo night tonight!!

[Bluecat]

Therefore I would argue that a Mia Noi and a Mistress are in fact VERY similar names for essentially the same thing...

Maybe you are right but definition and fact are not always the same.

Maybe, these days, western men provide for their mistresses car, home, money,... as they do in Thailand for in return getting the same thing: sex and "submissive ladies"(at least when they are mia noi,...)

I left farangland long time ago. What about you?

[possom]

my friends "WIFES " are both aware of the situation and he is the provider ,so his word is law !!!!!!. he goes where he wants with a phone call to the expecting wife of what he wants to eat when he gets there !!!!!!!!. i know of another guy ( NOT A FRIEND PERSONALLY ) who lives together with 2 wives ,and leaves any problems to them to sort out !!!!! THAILAND STILL EXISTS OUTSIDE FARANG ENCLAVES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AMEN!!!!!!!!!

[..::LegalAlien::..]

"WESTERN " definition

As we are discussing the word Mistress (western word) and suggesting that it is either the same/or not as a Mia Noi would suggest that we would first have to learn the exact meaning of the word... As it is a "Western" word, a "Western Definition" is perhaps the correct place to look.

With regards to your statement that a Mistress is someone who you would see for a "once a week ####", I wholly disagree. Typically I would difine this more as a Lover/Girlfriend - who, in the "Western" style normally don't expect financial gain/assistance...

But this is just my humble opinion... And a little off topic

[thaiflyer1]

Last reply before i go out tonight..............in reply to bluecat ive lived in Pattaya for 6 years. In reply to legal alien i stay with b/wife 15 days and l/wife 15 days a month (alternating). I have a little advantage in that my home is a little out of Pattaya so i have the "excuse" that i cant drive home when ive had a drink. B/wife likes to stay in the "moo bahn" and play dominoes/cards with the other ladies in the village rather than go into pattaya............lucky for me!

[Bluecat]

There is another difference in between the western world and Thailand and in between the mia noi concept and the mistress concept:

In the western world, when you have a mistress, not only I am not sure you provide for her financially but she is "unique" in the sense that the majority of men having a mistress have only ONE.

In Thailand, one mia noi is not that common for upper class Thai,... The richer you are, the more you have (at the same time,...).

[..::LegalAlien::..]

That may simply be down to financial constraints (Living costs in the west are considerably more than in Thailand) - AND the expectations of the Mistress/Mia Noi... Or maybe Thai men are just more virile

There is also the fact that having more than one wife (sometimes many) has been a part of the Thai culture for a long time.

[possom]

you are all missing the major DIFFERENCE !!!!!!!!!!!! mia leuang and mia noi know about each other and the husband does NOT !!!!!! have to hide there existence from each other !!!!