Broody Thai GF. Ramifications of having kids in Thailand.

[Walter Travolta]

My girlfriend is much younger and has spoke about marriage and a child some day so I have been thinking about this for a long time. I have many farang friends who have Thai kids and some who brought their farang families here from their country. Some live in the city and have access to international schools and and always saying how expensive kids are and not to have unless you can afford. Others live in the country and the cost is rarely mentioned but problems with the upbringing of the children seem to be the main topic, kids riding motorbikes with no helmet, being spoiled by grandparents, worried about dog and bug bites, etc.... Some of the country guys bitch about the education in the country but I think most are bringing up their kids as normal Thais and not Ivey league.

Many factors to look at but education and finances are major if you want to bring up your kids to be basically a farang. If you can accept that your kids can go to normal Thai schools and grow up as a Thai then I think it will be a different mindset, I think more relaxed in some ways but worrisome in others.

However you look at it there will be difficulties that you would not normally have in your home country.

Don't over think matters. One of the main considerations is money. If you're there full time well that's another bonus. I'm not there full time so my 3 yr. old is raised as any other kid in the deep Issan. She was carried in one hand on the motorbike, rode standing up holding handle bars on motorbike at a very early age. Never used a car seat,

I'll not be sending her to international schools but when I stay in Thailand full time in a few years we will relocate to an area that has an English Program School. She's treated no differently than any other kid in the village. She knows she's a farang, she's now become my thai teacher. She plays non stop with all the kids on the small soi. I joke with her mom and say when she grows up she can sell som tam. I want a good education for her but not obcessed with it. I don't teach her western style of eating, her potty training was definitely not western style.

Agree with your comments. I was going through the thread and everyone seems to be obsessed with money, loyalty, taking child back to dads country for better schooling etc!!??

Why cant a child be born in Isaan and enjoy a happy, simple life instead of having all these pressures thrown at it? After all, I dont think amy of you falangs moved to Isaan in the 1st place to get a Uni education or go to a 9-5 office job in your 3 piece pin-stripe suit!!!

I wander how people survived in the Thai year 2058 or even 1358!! Jeeez

In a ideal world you could be right. However if you want to make sure YOU'r child does not turn out a deadbeat, working in the hot fields,building sites or m/bike taxi driver,bar girl etc, you do have to think of his/her future,and in Thailand this takes money. Personally I have sufficient funds to provide for my children's future here in Thailand,if not, I would not hesitate to return to my home country.

The way I would approach parenthood in this instance would be send the child to school, make sure their head was screwed on and make sure the child applied itself correctly as in making sure and school homework was done before any recreational activity was given, rather like I did in England with my son. He is now approaching 20 and starts his 1st job next week in a bank. Since he left school he has been at college studying to become an English teacher. He has another 4 years to do at Uni but he wanted to take a year out to earn some money and maybe release the monotony of being in a classroom since he was 5!! Next year he will proceed with his Uni and be 25 once he leaves hopefully with his qualifications. A good age (25) to start thinking of teaching abroad perhaps . . .

meanwhile back to the topic of the half thai/half English child - I would bring the child up the same as my son, and while getting an average education, he/she will be brought up bi-lingual which basically gives that child a good opportunity to work in many businesses across the world. Phd's etc are all well and good, but look at the USA, loads of people have them and are working as waitresses or bell boys

Education is necessary yes, but a good upbringing and an eye for an opportunity are just as vital. I would rather be a streetwise working class man than a Oxford educated buffoon that knows jack sh!t about anything about the world

Not being argumentative, just the way I see life. Too many parents want their child to be the next Donald Trump or David Beckham or Madonna. Fair enough, dreams do come true, but only for the very lucky/talented few.

[theonetrueaussie]

Just remember NEVER get married in thailand...unless you want the possibility to lose everything. I have seen so many foreigners lose everything in thailand when it would never happen in western countries. If you want to have a kid with her go for it but always rent and never put ANYTHING in her name or her family's you are just asking for trouble. Keep in mind you are a guest in their country and will never be anything else and when it comes to court you will always lose, As long as you make sure to guard yourself there is no reason not to have a kid if that is what you want.

Absolute Bullshlt!

It's the West that takes a man to the cleaners in divorce courts, especially when kids are involved.

do a simple google search and you will find many topics on thai wifes that have taken out loans from money lenders without their partners knowledge and then through forgery the houses have been sold and businesses sold. Even though the forger was arrested the deals are upheld in thai courts and the unsuspecting foreigner loses EVERYTHING...this would never happen in a western country!!

[micmichd]

It does happen in Western countries.

When I worked in a bank in Germany, there were colleagues that got divorced and now didn't even have enough money for an after work beer. They had to go to court (or pay her ex an extra) each time they wanted to see their kids.

[mikiea]

Raising children in any culture is a learning curve for any new parents.

Much of the issue here like most issues in western and Thai relationships is that what you/we perceive to be normal is in fact quite the opposite here creating problems over the simplest of things.

yes like poorly educated dumb as a box of rocks children unless home schooled or private schooled from birth . not bashing , just stating a fact you must think of matter before having kids .

[mikiea]

2. Absolutely. This is driving things. Plus, at 45, this is probably my last chance to have kids. She also wants marriage but having a kid is priority for her. In so much as she's said, if I don't then to say so. I feel this would break her heart and the relationship will then end.

Nah, you've got years left in you, I had more kids at age 44,46 and 56.

Still looking forward to a few more.

Realistically though, how active can one expect to be in their 60s with a new kid and the energy they burn up every day. Surely parents want an active part in their growing up?

hmm...... never thought of you before as such a wrong thinking low information person that you have proven to be ........kinda sad .......

[Boo]

Firstly I would ask, do you know her & trust her well enough to marry her? If the answer is no then you really don't know her well enough to be bringing a child into the world.

A baby is a major, lifetime commitment. Are you prepared, financially, emotionally & physically to take on what is at least 18 years of those commitments & do you see you & your gf doing it together?

[fitnesspm]

I would wait a couple more years. After this period of time, you can work out if you want to be together for life or not. Ask yourself the question, does she make me happy most of the time?

Western women are a nightmare compare to eastern women. The thing is in the west, men are raped by the divorce court. Say goodbye to your house, car, kids where you will be paying for your exs life for another 18 years. These a 60-70% chance of divorce in the west compare to be 20% in Thailand. In the west, 80% of women file for divorce compare to be 20% by men.

http://www.returnofkings.com/22358/10-reasons-why-foreign-women-are-better-than-american-women

Thai children are family oriented and show respect to their parents. If you bring a child up in the west, they are rude and out of control where most of the women sleep around. You cant turn a slut into a house wife.

There is no more family valves in the west where the corporation are in charge of social trait/morals which are destructive to people. Even worst, mainstream is Feminism today. Enjoy your kids dumping yo in a retirement home.

In Thailand, a person is more happy due to culutral, family and friends. Yes the education is better in the west, but look at what the kids turn out like over there.

http://www.returnofkings.com/65784/how-to-bridge-the-gap-between-thai-and-western-dating-culture

Edited October 7, 2015 by fitnesspm

[Crazy chef 1]

I would be careful. with the bio clock ticking you might find yourself having no say so whatsoever.......Its wrong to have a kid if you dont want one.

Rubbish...I never wanted a child...but now it is the best in my entire life and his mum couldn't be a better one...