PAUL AND HEATHER

It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife

are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes

about her false leg. Personally, I think it's prosthetic.

News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his

wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be

distraught over the split. "He has been my crutch for so long"! She said

in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm

really stumped"

"She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she

will need all the support she can get. It's not like its easy to walk

out on a relationship like this"

After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever

consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if

We called her Heather.

It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the

marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, and if

an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won't have a leg to

stand on.

Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity may

have been the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to

get her leg over".

Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the

cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said, "he would get

home at night and find her legless"

Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present

that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic

leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler.

A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate

"I'm f---ed, who will want a one legged gold digger?" His mate says "try

Paul McCartney"

Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney:

I lay upon a grassy bank

My hands were all a quiver

I slowly removed her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river

These jokes are funny but lets spare a thought for Paul please. Now she

has left him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who can fill

her shoe.

Paul secretly called her Eileen

Paul secretly called her Eileen

Oh... COME ON!!!!!

Paul secretly called her Eileen

Made me laugh, thanks...