samui01 Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 My story briefly: married to thai national in my home country 3 years ago got a prenup signed by both before marriage in home country registered marriage amphur thailand since marriage i bought car in thailand (down payment from my money before marriage, pay every month) with my money (still 3 years to go) obviously in my wife's name bought motorbike fully paid also in wife's name my wife doesn't work, sits on her ass all day. currently on extension of stay based on marriage legally working with work permit i'm getting fed up of things and i might be considering a divorce in the near future for many reasons i won't go into now - jealousy and disrespecting the hands that feed/cloth/pamper her being the main reason! few questions i would appreciate insight on: what would be the best course to go about this? get a good lawyer? i know she won't give in without a fight. is the prenup valid in thailand? i am happy to give her the bike and keep the car but i doubt she'll agree - first of all i don't drive a bike, and she doesn't drive a car. also she won't be able to afford repayments. if i have no choice, i guess i'll have to sell the car and bike and give her half of the money. i would assume my extension of stay and visa would be invalid once divorce went thru and i'd have to go out get a business visa. correct? this is nothing final, i'm just doing some research in case the inevitable does happen. ps. one thing which bothers me a bit, is i smoke a spliff to wind down after a long day at work with a couple of beers. nothing more, no partying etc. this is how i relax everyday after work. i know it's a no no in thailand and i wouldn't put it past her to rat me out. as they say, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, especially a thai one!! thanks for any input, and please anyone who doesn't have anything of value to say don't bother posting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beachproperty Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 (edited) Personally ...I would just get on a plane (give her the bike and the car with payments) and fly to my home country...get a divorce there (assume they have jurisdiction as you were married there). Don't know your work situation....do you have to stay in Thailand for work? if so, changes things....but I would still move out before she knows ...never know what she might do...ie scuff herself up and claim you beat her etc. Edited September 15, 2015 by beachproperty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samui01 Posted September 15, 2015 Author Share Posted September 15, 2015 i cannot run away. i have a managerial job with good future prospects. i dont see why i should leave thailand seeing that i do everything by the book and put back a significant amount of baht back in the system every month. i 'm really not bothered about the car and bike ... but i know for a fact she wouldnt afford the payments. at the end of the day i guess it's my 'relaxation' habit that bothers me the most. thanks for the reply tho Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coulson Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 (edited) You created a monster leading her into housewife bliss. She's not biting your hand, she's chewing your whole arm. If you don't have kids then she doesn't need to be unemployed. If you're not prepared to run then expect to edge away slowly, about as slowly as it took her to chew your arm. Taking a time out periodically not an option? Maybe keeping your habits away from home could be a good start? Give you peace of mind at least to indulge..... Edited September 15, 2015 by coulson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puukao Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 this is great she is not working. working, for the most part, is a pain....and free money is great!!! she won the lottery....... you promised to take care of her, in sickness and in health!!!! haha lottery ticket nullified Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bwpage3 Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 She can tell the cops, you get drugged tested, go to jail, lose your job, then get deported. I would figure out a concrete plan for that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janpharma Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 The best you can do now is go to see a solicitor, only he can give you the best advise...Good Luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whatproblem Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Stop the spiffs first ,I know it's hard but don't piss her off too much until your stopped long enough .took me 6 months to not think about it everyday ,now I would not smoke again ,not need ,not want Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
user82374298374 Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 i dont see why i should leave thailand seeing that i do everything by the book and put back a significant amount of baht back in the system every month. Obviously not, when you're a pothead in a country with severe penalties for possessing/smoking it. That's just pure lunacy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alien365 Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 If her ratting you up is your worry give up the weed until its out of your system, divorce her, then start smoking again if you wish. In fairness you are breaking the law here by smoking it. We might see you pointing your finger at 0.1g of weed on TV in the near future with 10 BiB behind you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asdecas Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 (edited) If her ratting you up is your worry give up the weed until its out of your system, divorce her, then start smoking again if you wish. In fairness you are breaking the law here by smoking it. We might see you pointing your finger at 0.1g of weed on TV in the near future with 10 BiB behind you. I agree, but the dope is only part of what needs to be done if you are serious; you need to close out your vulnerabilities one by one against any untoward actions your soon-to-be ex might take. That means seeing a divorce lawyer that you can trust to act on your behalf, getting clean, securing your finances, planning your exit strategies should things turn nasty, possibly preparing to shut down current phone, email, social media etc and planning alternatives. Edited September 16, 2015 by asdecas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaurene Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 i cannot run away. i have a managerial job with good future prospects. i dont see why i should leave thailand seeing that i do everything by the book and put back a significant amount of baht back in the system every month. i 'm really not bothered about the car and bike ... but i know for a fact she wouldnt afford the payments. at the end of the day i guess it's my 'relaxation' habit that bothers me the most. thanks for the reply tho You need to talk with. Lawyer who specialises in this sort of thing. Guessing and assuming will not get you anywhere. I live in KHon Kaen for 7 yrs and have very good friends, lady professional Lawyer and her husband Australian Dr on economics. This is part of their speciality especially looking after falangs. I can give you the details but not until you have decided what your going to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juehoe Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 The prenup is only valid, it it also was registered in Thailand, before you registered your marriage. The standard law in Thailand is, that all common assets (bought after you registered the marriage) will be shared by 50% (as far as I know). Anyway, you should take a independent layer, at least for a legal advice. Good layers are not cheap, but this can save a lot of money. It would not be easy, anyway. But a legal advice will give to a starting point for your next steps. I wish you good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacksam Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 (edited) i cannot run away. i have a managerial job with good future prospects. i dont see why i should leave thailand seeing that i do everything by the book and put back a significant amount of baht back in the system every month. i 'm really not bothered about the car and bike ... but i know for a fact she wouldnt afford the payments. at the end of the day i guess it's my 'relaxation' habit that bothers me the most. thanks for the reply tho First of all OP hope things go well. Your situation is little different to some. You have an existing job and want to stay.I would cut my losses and more. In farang world we forget what a woman receives after divorce, even short period. I've been with my tgf for 3 years. If I left I would pay her what we both joke about as "her super fund" Maybe get a friend (or yourself) and try and come to n agreement. Bit like when you sack an employee you give them a severance payment. Edited September 16, 2015 by jacksam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bulldozer Dawn Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 If you bought the car and bike why are they in your wife's name? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacksam Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 The prenup is only valid, it it also was registered in Thailand, before you registered your marriage. The standard law in Thailand is, that all common assets (bought after you registered the marriage) will be shared by 50% (as far as I know). Anyway, you should take a independent layer, at least for a legal advice. Good layers are not cheap, but this can save a lot of money. It would not be easy, anyway. But a legal advice will give to a starting point for your next steps. I wish you good luck! I can understand your suggestion. However we are not talking about a huge settlement. OP has money invested in a car. A motor bike. Sounds like that's about it. I would give her half the money I had paid on the car. Give her the bike. She can sell it and OP does not ride. On top of that I would give her minimum 100k baht. Befor people laugh, that amount would pay for very minimal lawyer work in farang world. Also she will need to find a job and will need money to live. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beachproperty Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 OP ...you state.....i know she won't give in without a fight. And therein lies your biggest problem....she will fabricate stuff (ie...you beat her, you do drugs..ok ..you do drugs ...etc) ....anyway...my point is she will retaliate by lying to the police to get you in trouble (possibly arrested)....AND who do you think the police will believe ....Thai or Farang? Personally I would at the very least move out NOW...disappear if possible and continue working whilst getting the divorce. Does she know where you work? if so ....she may go so far as to cause you problems there! again lying to your boss, possibly creating havoc in your work enviroment to the point where you are fired. expect the worst from from her and be prepared for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doneworking Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 My Experience. You can only get the marriage annulled in the country that you were married in. (I was married in UK and Had UK solicitor do all the work for me) (was living in Singapore at the time) UK law does not recognise Pre-nup not sure what country you married in but best to check where you stand on that. Good Luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spidermike007 Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Leave immediately. Do not even consider it. Make plans, and get the hell out. Life is way, way too short to spend it with someone who does not inspire you and fulfill you. Discuss it with her. Ask her for the car. If she does not want to give you the car, leave it with her, along with the payment. The loan is in her name, so it is all on her. Don't worry about the other assets. If you have a joint account, just move the money. Protect your assets. It is probably only fair to leave her something. But, get out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mesquite Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 If you bought the car and bike why are they in your wife's name? Car is financed so it has to be in her name. Bike is fully paid for. Newbie mistake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rapom Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 i cannot run away. i have a managerial job with good future prospects. i dont see why i should leave thailand seeing that i do everything by the book and put back a significant amount of baht back in the system every month. i 'm really not bothered about the car and bike ... but i know for a fact she wouldnt afford the payments. at the end of the day i guess it's my 'relaxation' habit that bothers me the most. thanks for the reply tho Smoking mj is not by the books. Get arrested and kiss your good prospects away. Your "relaxation" habit is illegal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
al007 Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Madness and insanity, drugs of any sort just plain stupidity here in Thailand If you want pot or other drugs go where they are either legal or penalties low You have a marriage you are considering getting out of, and maybe a bitter wife, get out of Thailand now and establish your self elsewhere You could be risking quite a lot of time in Bangkok Hilton if things went the wrong way Maybe you need help from a psychiatrist Just trying to be realistic, there are other places to live Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickJ Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 I agree about ex's making stuff up after a split. Forget about everything and walk. Pre nups are a waste of time in Thailand for the most part. Your pre marital money if in a Thai bank can be frozen until a divorce and that can take years so you end up paying something to her just to free your funds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsurin66 Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 after all the bar stool comments Im sure you can see that you have to go to an English speaking lawyer... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony125 Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 I think you should read the article from TV below. Before you do anything you will need to get off the spiff, if she tells police and they test you your screwed. http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/856020-entry-problem/?utm_source=newsletter-20150916-0801&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=featured Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12DrinkMore Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Tell her you have fallen in love with a ladyboy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maidee Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 (edited) 2 posts, heavy article i vote TROLL ... should have a troll button next to like ... but but but what did she do before she met you ? how did she get money each month ? Edited September 16, 2015 by maidee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GotSeoul Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 (edited) OP, you say you are undecided at this point. Does this mean you still care for her? Is the smoking really the only problem she has with what you do? If so, you have a couple of other choices besides divorce that may be an option if you choose: 1) Stop smoking the ganja, get it out of your system 2) Get a smoking room / man cave away from your place of domicle, but not too far or long to walk, and she knows nothing about it. Regarding stopping. Only if you want to but probably wise to do so anyway if you are going to get a divorce. At least long enough before you say anything to your wife so you can pass a test. Regarding the smoking room. Get one of those 4-5k baht per month rooms at a place near your domicle. Put a nice Lazy-Boy recliner, an end table, something to play some music, and a fridge for beers. Treat that as the 'bar' you go to for an hour to relax before you go home. A man-cave, a place to have as your own for that time you want to relax after work. Some may think I'm pulling your leg, but I am absolutely serious. Some people have the gym, some people go to a bar, some people go to the Sports Club to play nine holes or hit the driving range to relax before they go home. You have something you like so get your man cave so the wifey doesn't see the smoke and you can have your peace and relax time. Also get a change of clothes to smoke in and leave at the man-cave so you can shower and put your other clothes back on so she doesn't smell it. Because she will smell it. Edited September 16, 2015 by GotSeoul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rijit Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 (edited) GOLDEN RULE Make life easy for yourself. Take some time make her aware of how you feel and things arnt working and slowly make it clear your THINKING of leaving and then maybe at work ask/arrange some extended time away by your self maybe out of the country bac home and when you come bac tell her your leaving and by then She'll know what she's entitled to give it to her and some, its only money and can be replaced. and it maybe dificult but try and stay friendly rijit Edited September 16, 2015 by rijit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rijit Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Oh and as 4 the smoking , give it up ,, its a shit way of relaxing, trust me I know. rijit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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