looking for some brief insight

[stoneyboy]

If you bought the car and bike why are they in your wife's name?

Ahh nobody from the west ever brought their ex wives anything did they ?

[samui01]

Whilst thanking all for taking the time to read and respond, no need for the lecturing or patronizing comments from some even though I expected some flak for being honest and airing my ‘laundry’.

I guess all those who called me a ‘lunatic’ for indulging recreationally with a joint in the privacy of my own home are walking saints. J I work 14 hr days, that’s how I mellow out and sleep for the next day of work but anyhow back to the case in point before we get too hung up and deviating the thread from its original purpose.

I agree the best way forward would be to quit if I really want to go ahead with this, so I can put my mind at ease if she does indeed report me. Also I would speak to a lawyer to make sure what the best way forward is regarding Thai laws. Again I’m still undecided on what to do, I’d like to just know enough for an exit strategy if push comes to shove.

I’m only in my early 30s and my wife mid 20s. The problem is I have spoilt her too much before and always gave in, so I also have to take some blame in the way she is now. That she doesn’t work doesn’t even bother me that much, as in all fairness, she does the housework, laundry etc (most of the time anyway lol). I didn’t push her to work before as the wages in Thailand for Thais are miserable and I make enough for us to live comfortably. But now I realize, that work isn’t just for the money but a good reason to get out of bed in the morning.

The main thing eating at me which I have put up with in these past years and which I’m really getting sick of is the unpredictable bouts of jealousy she is prone too. I used to think that it would change with time, but apparently not. Just a couple of days ago, she was trawling through FB and found a pic of me with my ex 6 years ago, way before I met her and she threw a hissy fit, sending my ex threats on fb etc etc. All childish really, but not funny when you look at the big picture. I’ve severed contacts with most of my friends back home, since we’ve been in Thailand and don’t really have any friends here. All because of her jealousy. She’s even jealous of my colleagues at work <deleted>! And it’s getting to a point where too much is too much.

I do care for her but to be honest I’m not sure I want to live the rest of my life like this. I feel ‘old’ – work, home, work. On my days off, just me and her - bored stiff unless drunk. I would like the option to part in a civilized way even if she has to keep the car and bike but I think given our situation there’s a better chance of winning the Thai lottery lol.

Ps. Who asked what she used to do before she met me was work in the family business, tailors back in Nakhon nowhere. Also she doesn’t have a problem with me smoking (her mum makes a mean soup with ganja leaves, forgot the name), I just think she might use it against me in the future if I want to break up.

Then again, she might not but not worth the risk…

[ozyjon]

All good advice, she could blackmail you,

your supplier could give evidence against

you as well. In Thailand - trust no one.

[AlexRRR]

Whilst thanking all for taking the time to read and respond, no need for the lecturing or patronizing comments from some even though I expected some flak for being honest and airing my ‘laundry’.

I guess all those who called me a ‘lunatic’ for indulging recreationally with a joint in the privacy of my own home are walking saints. J I work 14 hr days, that’s how I mellow out and sleep for the next day of work but anyhow back to the case in point before we get too hung up and deviating the thread from its original purpose.

I agree the best way forward would be to quit if I really want to go ahead with this, so I can put my mind at ease if she does indeed report me. Also I would speak to a lawyer to make sure what the best way forward is regarding Thai laws. Again I’m still undecided on what to do, I’d like to just know enough for an exit strategy if push comes to shove.

I’m only in my early 30s and my wife mid 20s. The problem is I have spoilt her too much before and always gave in, so I also have to take some blame in the way she is now. That she doesn’t work doesn’t even bother me that much, as in all fairness, she does the housework, laundry etc (most of the time anyway lol). I didn’t push her to work before as the wages in Thailand for Thais are miserable and I make enough for us to live comfortably. But now I realize, that work isn’t just for the money but a good reason to get out of bed in the morning.

The main thing eating at me which I have put up with in these past years and which I’m really getting sick of is the unpredictable bouts of jealousy she is prone too. I used to think that it would change with time, but apparently not. Just a couple of days ago, she was trawling through FB and found a pic of me with my ex 6 years ago, way before I met her and she threw a hissy fit, sending my ex threats on fb etc etc. All childish really, but not funny when you look at the big picture. I’ve severed contacts with most of my friends back home, since we’ve been in Thailand and don’t really have any friends here. All because of her jealousy. She’s even jealous of my colleagues at work <deleted>! And it’s getting to a point where too much is too much.

I do care for her but to be honest I’m not sure I want to live the rest of my life like this. I feel ‘old’ – work, home, work. On my days off, just me and her - bored stiff unless drunk. I would like the option to part in a civilized way even if she has to keep the car and bike but I think given our situation there’s a better chance of winning the Thai lottery lol.

Ps. Who asked what she used to do before she met me was work in the family business, tailors back in Nakhon nowhere. Also she doesn’t have a problem with me smoking (her mum makes a mean soup with ganja leaves, forgot the name), I just think she might use it against me in the future if I want to break up.

Then again, she might not but not worth the risk…

Working 14 days might be your problem right now, good chance your mentally tired, you need to take a break and get a social life, once refreshed I'm sure you would see things differently.

As for the wife, time for her to get a job she needs outside stimulation or give her a couple of kids to keep her busy and off your Facebook.

As for the jealously time for you to grow a thicker skin it's her problem, if your walking a straight line you got nothing to worry about.

If you really want out to make sure your not going to get pinned for dope usage stop, start talking and airing your issues she then can make some changes if not we'll you know where your headed.

You married her she's your partner treat her with respect hopefully she will with you and you never know it might turn out better either way but it starts with respect and communication.

[hanuman2543]

My Experience.

You can only get the marriage annulled in the country that you were married in.

(I was married in UK and Had UK solicitor do all the work for me) (was living in Singapore at the time)

UK law does not recognise Pre-nup not sure what country you married in but best to check where you stand on that.

Good Luck

That's not true. I married my Ex-wife in Denmark and divorced her in Thailand.

[spidermike007]

Whilst thanking all for taking the time to read and respond, no need for the lecturing or patronizing comments from some even though I expected some flak for being honest and airing my ‘laundry’.

I guess all those who called me a ‘lunatic’ for indulging recreationally with a joint in the privacy of my own home are walking saints. J I work 14 hr days, that’s how I mellow out and sleep for the next day of work but anyhow back to the case in point before we get too hung up and deviating the thread from its original purpose.

I agree the best way forward would be to quit if I really want to go ahead with this, so I can put my mind at ease if she does indeed report me. Also I would speak to a lawyer to make sure what the best way forward is regarding Thai laws. Again I’m still undecided on what to do, I’d like to just know enough for an exit strategy if push comes to shove.

I’m only in my early 30s and my wife mid 20s. The problem is I have spoilt her too much before and always gave in, so I also have to take some blame in the way she is now. That she doesn’t work doesn’t even bother me that much, as in all fairness, she does the housework, laundry etc (most of the time anyway lol). I didn’t push her to work before as the wages in Thailand for Thais are miserable and I make enough for us to live comfortably. But now I realize, that work isn’t just for the money but a good reason to get out of bed in the morning.

The main thing eating at me which I have put up with in these past years and which I’m really getting sick of is the unpredictable bouts of jealousy she is prone too. I used to think that it would change with time, but apparently not. Just a couple of days ago, she was trawling through FB and found a pic of me with my ex 6 years ago, way before I met her and she threw a hissy fit, sending my ex threats on fb etc etc. All childish really, but not funny when you look at the big picture. I’ve severed contacts with most of my friends back home, since we’ve been in Thailand and don’t really have any friends here. All because of her jealousy. She’s even jealous of my colleagues at work <deleted>! And it’s getting to a point where too much is too much.

I do care for her but to be honest I’m not sure I want to live the rest of my life like this. I feel ‘old’ – work, home, work. On my days off, just me and her - bored stiff unless drunk. I would like the option to part in a civilized way even if she has to keep the car and bike but I think given our situation there’s a better chance of winning the Thai lottery lol.

Ps. Who asked what she used to do before she met me was work in the family business, tailors back in Nakhon nowhere. Also she doesn’t have a problem with me smoking (her mum makes a mean soup with ganja leaves, forgot the name), I just think she might use it against me in the future if I want to break up.

Then again, she might not but not worth the risk…

The jealousy alone is not worth it. She sounds unstable and super immature. Why tolerate it? If she had other amazing qualities and this was your only issue, maybe. But, that does not sound like the case. Next time, do not spoil her. Be kind, but set well established guidelines and limits. Here in the LOS, every relationship needs a leader. If you don't man up, she will. Most women will love and respect you for taking charge. Many foreign men, after a lifetime of being abused by Western women who absolutely insist a man checks his balls at the door, don't know how to man up, anymore. You may have to retrain yourself if this is the case. Hopefully, it is not. Start fresh with a good woman. Life is too short to merely tolerate a partner. But, do not repeat your mistakes. Do not be afraid to constantly point at the door the first year or two. This is my home and if you don't like the way I run things, you are always welcome to leave. It is a very effective approach with many women. It is called self respect, and the insistence of maintaining healthy self esteem.

[JGV]

I am divorced from Thai woman nearly 7 years and still on the end of fallout so be under no illusions you will have to pay.

my advice

1 Immediately stop the ganja

2 Wait 6 months and in that time look at options Re Job - relocating to another SE Asian country or anywhere that she has no power over you

Divorce back in homeland is worthless here in Thailand

3 Accept that both bike and car are sacrifices - after a while you will not miss them and probably replace

Don't be conned by Thai lawyers into believing that they can get a good deal at a price

They can get the divorce but you will pay both them and her

JGV

[stgrhe]

OP, you asked:

• what would be the best course to go about this? get a good lawyer? i know she won't give in without a fight.

It would by a good idea to consult a solicitor who specialises in domestic affairs.

• is the prenup valid in thailand?

No! You should have registered a new one here in Thailand at the same time you registered the marriage.

• i am happy to give her the bike and keep the car but i doubt she'll agree - first of all i don't drive a bike, and she doesn't drive a car. also she won't be able to afford repayments. if i have no choice, i guess i'll have to sell the car and bike and give her half of the money.

Since both the bike and the car were bought during marrige they are common property, meaning you and your wife own half each. Also, the money used to purchase the items are regarded as common money.

• i would assume my extension of stay and visa would be invalid once divorce went thru and i'd have to go out get a business visa. correct?

Don't know but I suppose so.

[misterphil]

Why do you say obviously in my wife's name bought motorbike fully paid also in wife's name. Why do you say this is obvious? Put them in your name.

This marriage is already doomed because you are thinking of leaving her. Just get it over with and do it quickly and quietly.

Be very careful. When I told my ex Thai wife I wanted to split up she smashed the house up, cut her face with her finger nails then called the police and told them i'd smashed the house up and beat her up.

Beware, its happened to many of us on here.

Good luck.

[F4UCorsair]

Do nothing until the dope is out of your system, and ensure, by testing if necessary, that there is not a trace left.

Then unload the free loading b****.

[steven100]

The prenup is only valid, it it also was registered in Thailand, before you registered your marriage. The standard law in Thailand is, that all common assets (bought after you registered the marriage) will be shared by 50% (as far as I know).

Anyway, you should take a independent layer, at least for a legal advice. Good layers are not cheap, but this can save a lot of money.

It would not be easy, anyway. But a legal advice will give to a starting point for your next steps. I wish you good luck!

what is an independent layer ?

[steven100]

What is in the pre-nup ?

You have the bike and a car here in Thailand ......... Just give those to her and get the divorce !

Also, get a lawyer to advise and re-assure you but if there is no house or money ... what's your problem ?

and for the other .... just stop for a few months from the lawyer visit until divorce signed. No big deal, they are not going to arrest you because she said ' he does this, he does that '

[norfolkandchance]

What steps are you going to take then ?.Big ones i hope

Best of luck

[jacksam]

What is in the pre-nup ?

You have the bike and a car here in Thailand ......... Just give those to her and get the divorce !

Also, get a lawyer to advise and re-assure you but if there is no house or money ... what's your problem ?

and for the other .... just stop for a few months from the lawyer visit until divorce signed. No big deal, they are not going to arrest you because she said ' he does this, he does that '

Stevie ....you are SO RIGHT. all the talk about lawyers etc.

Rubbish. Give her your very minimal contribution. Lucky you are not posting this in farang world wondering how to cut your losses.

Walk away.

As for the folk suggesting lawyer etc. Yes necessary if you invested LOT of money.

I have a friend in udon. She is married to French guy from when she was 20. Anyway it when pear. All was good ..shared 2 story home. He below her top floor. Until she saw a woman in their pick up.

Bit of a discussion. He tried to take car and p#as off for few days. She had local cops come stop him (she paid them some baht) ....then she drove car to udon thani sold it to dealer he purchased it from. Then went freelance.

What do you think a lawyer will do for you here on small change.

[JHolmesJr]

I would suggest diplomacy…you need her on your side.

Only you know her weaknesses.

Will she be swayed by a 'its not you its me' approach?

Is it worth making her divorce you instead?

Should you start making some donations to the royal policeman's ball in anticipation of future strife or being ratted out?

Things to evaluate…

[Thongkorn]

I have read so many stories like this, I must be very lucky, My Thai wife works in the uK where we live, she wants to work , We get on very well still love as you may say. She has bought her own land and house in Thailand , Her Family, Mother and a Daughter and Son have never asked for one baht from me, Although they are/where very poor. If i was in this situation i would lose the bike one day, Sell it on the QT,As for the Car just let them repossess it, You will have to pay anyway or lose it. As for smoking i am with many other posters, stop it if only for a while . Life's too short to stay where you're not really appreciated or wanted, Sorry but move on.

Edited September 17, 2015 by Thongkorn

[Nomyai]

Personally ...I would just get on a plane (give her the bike and the car with payments) and fly to my home country...get a divorce there (assume they have jurisdiction as you were married there).

Don't know your work situation....do you have to stay in Thailand for work? if so, changes things....but I would still move out before she knows ...never know what she might do...ie scuff herself up and claim you beat her etc.

Its over . How can one live with a LAZY ASSED thai girl..............hahahaha.

[bwpage3]

To give up all your friends and acquaintances to live like this is nuts.

Life is too short for this much drama.

You gave up your entire happiness and what did you get in return?

Someone that has no respect for you.

Tons of fish in the sea, through this one back and find one that makes you the center of the universe.

Good luck

[john1000]

Different tack..play dumb tell her you lost your job and have no money. Let her walk away. With any luck she will.

[Rhys]

Well, I believe you've had several opinions, suggestions, and alternatives...it is up to you now... however, the one key is...your happiness.. What are you going to do to ensure this....

Best of luck in 2016

Edited January 3, 2016 by Rhys