Do you have any MALE Thai friends?

[puukao]

I have male Chinese, Japanese, Korean, and Vietnamese friends......but maybe only 1-2 male Thai friends.

It does seem like most of my daily interaction is with landlord (female), masseuse (lady), bar girl (kidding), instructor (female), and where i eat there are usually lady chefs.

So, I'm just curious.....do you have a lot of male Thai friends?

again, maybe it's just me...

enlighten me, my fellow TV brothers

for I will soon be a monk

if i pass this online test on how to fly private jets.

[JAFO]

Quite a few. I have the engineer friends I met at work, my BIL,uncles and FIL. My BIL and I go with friends from his work to go watch Futbol at a local Mo Kah Tah. Good food and lots of beer.

[baneko]

Got lots of male thai mates. Drink beer together most days. Good craic.

[NoshowJones]

Quite a few. I have the engineer friends I met at work, my BIL,uncles and FIL. My BIL and I go with friends from his work to go watch Futbol at a local Mo Kah Tah. Good food and lots of beer.

lots of beer. Here we go again.

[robertthebruce]

my partner is ''Thai''.. and he is male and my friend...

[CharlieH]

mostly within the family, but a few other "acquaintances" made over the years, wouldnt really call them "friends"

[huawei]

Very difficult ....even though I known a lot of good hard working male Thais ...they are more like acquaintance , compared to my friendships with non Thais..which are deep rooted and long lasting..

[dennis123]

Gay, so I continuosly hangout/drink with male bar workers. Straight Thai males not so much though I do have some Thai female friends (non bar workers).

[villagefarang]

I have always had more female friends than male friends. That said I have had some good Thai friends over the years. Most of them were pre internet and Facebook so over the years we have lost touch. I have never been the clingy type and always looked forward to meeting new people along the way rather than holding on to old relationships.

I do continue to meet new people but where they were more like guests on Charlie Rose in the past, these days they more closely resemble Jerry Springer rejects. Needless to say, I continue to be polite but tend to keep things superficial and maintain a certain distance.

[MaeJoMTB]

Thai's are generally very shallow, with little real education.

Almost impossible to have as friends, and why would you bother?

I have 3 or 4 male friends (British and Australian), no female friends.

Do people ever have time for more than a handful of friends?

Edited September 27, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[Seligne2]

In three years here I have not managed to make a Thai male friend. I would very much like to. As Puukao mentioned, most of my daily interactions are with Thai females. I find them very approachable and good humoured. My Thai is rudimentary and geared towards everyday transactions. I could not converse with a Thai about the NCPO or a hedge fund or the Pope. My Thai just won't allow that. I think that as I become more competent my chances of having more Thai friends of whatever gender increases.

[The Big Mango]

Have a bunch of Male Thai friends , all western educated most of whom live in BKK , know very little Thai females execpt the Mrs her mates and friends wifes / gfriends

[Gecko123]

I'll share the following.

My best Thai male friend is my next door neighbor. His name is Laem. He has a wife named Nii, and they have three daughters, one of whom is autistic. He is one of these guys who is never in a bad mood and always welcomes you when you come for a visit. He's a farmer in his early 40's, lives in a house next door to his father and mother. Probably owns about 100 rai of land. He's been a good listener whenever I have something I wanted to discuss. I've consulted with him on parenting, teaching, gardening and farming issues. Even though I live in a small village where you do have to be fairly discrete about what you share with people, I'm reasonably confident that when I ask him not to tell everyone something he doesn't run and blab it all over town.

Although I've helped him out over the years by once lending him a small amount of money (3,000 Bht), giving him a hand-me-down kitchen appliance, and renting out some land at a below market price, he doesn't have an ulterior motive to be nice to me, and I believe that there is a genuine friendship between us which probably ranks up there in the top 3-4 male friendships I've ever had in my life. What makes this guy special in comparison to many other Thai men is that he is genuinely curious about me and my previous life in the States. It goes well beyond the usual "What did you do for work?" and "Does it snow where you lived?" type questions. For example, he was very interested in things like farming techniques back home, the sub-prime mortgage meltdown, why exchange rates go up and down, comparative costs of living, etc. We celebrated Osama Bin Laden's death together over a few beers. I have also asked him many many questions about Thai culture such as how Thais discipline their children, who manages household finances, how faithful spouses are, how much people earn, spend on food. I've asked him to settle debates about things discussed on TVF. He's proofread a couple of things in Thai for me. I've asked him how he would handle situations when friction arose between me and other people in town. He also keeps me fairly well informed in the juicy gossip department.

In my village I know about say around 10-12 men who range in age from about 45-65 who I would not describe as close friends but who are friendly, and to varying degrees, I can have a pleasant conversation with from time to time. They don't generally come over to the house unless they have a reason, and I usually don't go over to their house unless I have a reason. We don't eat, drink or play cards together. Usually the conversation is along the lines of "Do you know anyone who can do such-and-such?" and then moves on for 10 minutes to a half hour on catch-up small talk. Or if I bump into them in town or out in front of their house (I walk my dog regularly) we might shoot the breeze about the weather, the price of corn, what they've been doing that day. Like I said, not especially deep or intimate talk, but satisfying nevertheless. About 20 kilometers away is a medium sized town. There, it's mostly chit chat while buying stuff. Can't say I have any true friends there. I teach, and of course talk to most of the teachers, but those relationships are more of a co-worker than friend nature.

Another couple of focal points where casual male bonding with Thais takes place is at the barbershop and the farmer's market. At the barbershop there are almost always 2-3 customers, and my barber "Kem," who I've been going to for 12 years never fails to introduce me to the other customers in the shop. Believe it or not, quite a number of lively discussions, some of them surprisingly political, have sprung up during these hair cutting sessions. I can recall discussing the rice price fixing controversy, for example. I've recently started getting my hair cut on Sunday afternoons when the Muay Thai broadcasts are televised, and once in a while there's a bout where everyone (including me) gets pretty animated, Kem stops cutting hair, and everyone starts shouting as each punch or kick is landed. That's kind of fun.

At the market, I like schmoosing with the female vendors more than with their hubbies, but over the years I've gotten to know many male vendors, even though they are generally more reserved than the women, and you sometimes have to convince them you're not trying to hit on their wife before they warm up to you. None of these relationships have every moved to socializing away from the market, although once I went overnight down to a huge fish market in Bangkok with the local seafood vendor to see where he bought fish. Even though I am sure that some of the friendliness comes from wanting to attract customers, I am confident that they genuinely like me as a person. I have gotten to know the local mini-Lotus store manager, (who happens to be a guy) fairly well (mainly because I have complained to him a few times about inventory shortages, discontinued products, and employees making indiscreet comments about my purchases).

Finally, I'd like to share a few observations about Thai men that I've noticed over the years. I have found that the demographic profile of Thai guys who are most receptive to interacting with me as a foreigner seem to be guys who are within give or take 10 years of my age, have had an opportunity to develop their English skills, have travelled outside of Thailand, are university educated, etc. Many Thai men in this demographic slice are interested in interacting in order to practice their English or in the hopes that they have visited your country, and they will have a chance to reminisce about their travels. I regularly run into Thais who proudly tell me they have children or relatives who have studied or are living abroad.

I have also noticed that some Thai men may struggle with feelings of envy or jealousy directed towards foreign men, mainly based on the perception that the foreigner is better off financially than they are. When I went out and bought a car (a significant symbol of wealth in rural Thailand) some people's behavior seemed to change. On one occasion, while I was working alongside the road in front of my house, the daughter of one of my neighbors down the street rode by on a motorcycle. She gave me a big smile and asked me what I was doing. A few minutes later her husband rode by without so much as a nod of acknowledgement. Of course, lots of things could explain this, but after thinking about the behavior towards me of some of the men in my village I do believe that jealousy or envy might play a role in their socially distant demeanor.

It's also undeniable that, in general, Thai women are far far more proficient in English than Thai men are, and as such Thai women are more confident in navigating across a language barrier. As there are far more instances of Thai women romantically connecting with foreign men (or women) than there are of Thai men connecting with foreign women (or men), Thai women have a greater incentive to reach out to foreign men (or women). Because the Thai male - foreign male language barrier is more pronounced (fewer Thai men speak English/fewer foreign men speak Thai) Thai men (and foreign men) are more prone to falling back on dated stereotypes about one another, rather than coming to their own conclusions based upon personal interaction.

Some Thai men may also see foreign men in an unflattering light because they are sometimes seen as easily taken advantage of by Thai women. Some Thai men may see themselves as more savvy than foreign men because they think they know how to better read Thai women's courtship signals during romantic encounters.

Finally, I have read that Thailand's demographics regarding the number of available females per male are changing. Whereas in the past, there was a surfeit of available females, I have read reports that this is changing. I also understand that because of China's one child policy there is an acute shortage of available females in China and some Chinese men may be starting to come to Thailand in search of a wife. If any of this is true, simple tightening competition for a wife may explain why some Thai men may be less than welcoming towards foreign men.

I'd also like to add that I think Thai men and women are much more honest and realistic about the nature of friendship than people are in the West. I am sure there will be legions of "best buddy" "friends since we were in kindergarten" type stories, and I'm sure some of them are true. But the holy grail of friendship in the West is the "golfing, boating, camping, vacationing, every weekend barbecue, share my darkest secrets with my buddy" and I just question how often that really truly exists in real life. I think Thais don't pretend to aspire to be "best buddies" and "I love you, man. I'd take a bullet for you. Donate a kidney if you needed one. In the West most of the time people pretend that such loyalty and bonding exists, but when push comes to shove, it's another story. Thais are more up front. No one here's pretending they're going to jump on a hand grenade for you.

Sorry if this is too long. I provided all the descriptive detail in an effort to answer the OP's question honestly.

Edited September 27, 2015 by Gecko123

[steven100]

I have one male thai friend. That's all you need in life !!

Edited September 27, 2015 by steven100

[partysandy]

This has become an issue for me. I have been here one year and my Thai is getting to a point where I can have decent conversations. However, all my friends are female and I am getting overwhelmed by not being able to talk about guy stuff, go to guy places, etc. I can easily make Japanese or Korean male friends here, but Thai is elusive, and Chinese as well. If anyone knows a bar where you can make Thai male friends in Bangkok I would be very interested. I think culturally there may be no Thai bar where you can socialize individually at, and even better with an international vibe. This is very common at for example Woodball in Bangkok but they have no Thai songs, which is interesting too, it's just Japanese, Korean, and English.

[Happy Grumpy]

God no.

[The Big Mango]

This has become an issue for me. I have been here one year and my Thai is getting to a point where I can have decent conversations. However, all my friends are female and I am getting overwhelmed by not being able to talk about guy stuff, go to guy places, etc. I can easily make Japanese or Korean male friends here, but Thai is elusive, and Chinese as well. If anyone knows a bar where you can make Thai male friends in Bangkok I would be very interested. I think culturally there may be no Thai bar where you can socialize individually at, and even better with an international vibe. This is very common at for example Woodball in Bangkok but they have no Thai songs, which is interesting too, it's just Japanese, Korean, and English.

Plenty of places around Thonglor ,

[partysandy]

This has become an issue for me. I have been here one year and my Thai is getting to a point where I can have decent conversations. However, all my friends are female and I am getting overwhelmed by not being able to talk about guy stuff, go to guy places, etc. I can easily make Japanese or Korean male friends here, but Thai is elusive, and Chinese as well. If anyone knows a bar where you can make Thai male friends in Bangkok I would be very interested. I think culturally there may be no Thai bar where you can socialize individually at, and even better with an international vibe. This is very common at for example Woodball in Bangkok but they have no Thai songs, which is interesting too, it's just Japanese, Korean, and English.

Plenty of places around Thonglor ,

Places where groups stand around the drink trays and listen to electronic music? I never figured out how to make friends at clubs like that.

[The Big Mango]

Mmmm , your missing plenty of places in Thonglor then.

Oh well guess youll figure it out

[spidermike007]

I define a friend, as someone you get together with to share a meal, someone you have over for drinks, and just someone you hang out with often, or from time to time. I have a number of Thai male acquaintances. But, none I really hang out with. I regret that. I wish I did have some good male Thai friends. They do not seem that interested in engaging. It may be a lack of curiosity, it may be a lack of interest in foreigners, it may have something to do with foreigners getting a lot of the younger, prettier women, not sure. But, I know in most other countries I would have a lot of local friends. I wish that was the case here.

Edited September 27, 2015 by spidermike007

[partysandy]

Mmmm , your missing plenty of places in Thonglor then.

Oh well guess youll figure it out

Can you please tell me some places then? I will buy you drinks if you're in Bangkok. Thanks!

[steven100]

I was with a thai friend one time who inadvertently entered a conversation with some thai women, ...

OMG !! the thought still haunts me ........ never ever again !

they reminded me of feeding time for the 20 or so chickens on my uncle's farm ....

[Happy Grumpy]

Why would the average Thai guy want a male farang friend?

[gamini]

Thai's are generally very shallow, with little real education.

Almost impossible to have as friends, and why would you bother?

I have 3 or 4 male friends (British and Australian), no female friends.

Do people ever have time for more than a handful of friends?

Thais probably find you very shallow and ill educated. I find them far more interesting, better educated and cultured than the average farang.

living in Thailand.

[pinkpanther99]

I have no Thai male friends. A few acquaintances, mainly boyfriends or husbands of my wife's friends but no Thai blokes who are genuine friends of my own.

But this isn't only to do with Thais, I don't have many expat friends.

Or at least, not real friends like I had in the UK. Lots of acquaintances, but I can only think of two expats who I'd call friends.

Clearly I'm some kind of weirdo!

[happy Joe]

Full of friends ...

[NativeSon360]

In three years here I have not managed to make a Thai male friend. I would very much like to. As Puukao mentioned, most of my daily interactions are with Thai females. I find them very approachable and good humoured. My Thai is rudimentary and geared towards everyday transactions. I could not converse with a Thai about the NCPO or a hedge fund or the Pope. My Thai just won't allow that. I think that as I become more competent my chances of having more Thai friends of whatever gender increases.

Count your blessings, and just let it be. You haven't missed anything, but a huge headache. Believe me.

Edited September 28, 2015 by metisdead
Bold font removed.

[asdecas]

No friends at all, Thai or otherwise. Misanthropic and proud.

[DonaldBattles]

The bottom line is many people have Thai male aquanticies. You can not call these personal friends. How many have invited you to their home for a formal sit down dinner at a western table? Drinking buddies are not friends but usually looking for a free drink.

[kerrysum]

From your post which vague, I would have to wonder what you are looking for? Perhaps if you can not put it online? Then why even bring it up?