Safe sex: A little help from Mum and Dad, please

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EDITORIAL
Safe sex: A little help from Mum and Dad, please
The Nation

If teen pregnancies are the casualties on the battlefield of growing up, it's parents who hold the arsenal to prevent them

BANGKOK: -- A mother who finds a condom in her teenage daughter's purse is apt to react with shock, anger and dismay, but she could just as easily feel relieved that her child is at least protected from the likelihood of a pregnancy occurring far too early in life.

Mothers' hopes for their daughters typically involve marriage to a worthy man and a baby when the time is right, in full nuptial consent. Those hopes are all too often dashed early these days, however, as teenagers continue enjoying sex without contraception. Parents in general are in the dark about their offspring becoming sexually active, until pregnancy renders the awareness moot.

Young people who find themselves in this situation will invariably regret having foregone the use of a condom, but, unfortunately for Thai society, the majority of teens still shun contraception - in ignorance or foolhardiness - and then must deal with the consequences.

Scuttling the many efforts over the years to get Thai kids to practise safe sex is society's restrictive, conservative and unrealistic outlook. One campaign aimed at encouraging young men to always carry a condom was widely condemned as encouraging premarital sex instead. Plans to install condom vending machines in schools yielded to the same prudish sentiment.

Thailand has witnessed an alarming rise in the number of teen pregnancies in recent years. In 2012, by percentage, there were twice as many unwed mothers aged 10 to 14 than there had been in 1990. There were almost 130,000 unplanned births that year - over 16 per cent of the national total - and 3,725 of those were among adolescent girls.

And to that statistic must be added countless more youngsters whose births were not registered and those who underwent abortions.

Their parents would dearly love to turn back the clock so they might better educate their daughters about sex and especially about avoiding pregnancy. The nation as a whole should be wishing we hadn't ignored this problem for so long. Yet the common reaction is shock, anger and dismay - mingled with denial, forgetfulness and apathy.

No single segment of society can or should be counted on to tackle this problem alone - not the government, the schools, the parents and certainly not the teens.

For now, at least, it will be interesting to see whether the latest government effort to slow the trend succeeds. Legislation is being mulled that would compel state agencies to pool efforts in addressing the issue through improved sex education and by offering opportunities for pregnant teens to continue their schooling.

It would be the first time that all government agencies act as one in this matter and, if the legislation has even a modicum of success, the first time that any such campaign has slowed the teen pregnancy rate. Should the legislation be adopted, we would not expect quick results. Improving the quality of sex education would alone take considerable time.

Meanwhile the family has its crucial role to play. Parents are well advised to replace restrictive and repressive instincts with understanding and realistic expectations. Youngsters learn about sex in all its forms at a much earlier age in the Internet era and are, of course, naturally curious. Premarital sex has become the norm around the world, so how can it remain a taboo subject in so many Thai households?

So the parents - and especially the mothers - need to adopt a realistic attitude. Frank discussion with children about sex is crucial. It's a chance to instil in them the sense of responsibility so necessary to making smart choices. The most fundamental message should be that sex in not a sin, but unprotected sex could impose hindrances that last a lifetime. Empowering your children with this level of sex education doesn't imply encouraging sex, but rather guaranteeing that there are no unforeseen and unwanted consequences.

For teenagers, peer relationships can seem like a battlefield. Parents are uniquely equipped to arm them with the ability to survive.

Source: http://www.nationmultimedia.com/opinion/Safe-sex-A-little-help-from-Mum-and-Dad-please-30269811.html


-- The Nation 2015-09-30

[doremifasol]

..................so how can it remain a taboo subject in so many Thai households?

Good question, so many Thai parents need to be educated on the matter first,

then perhaps they will be able to educate their children.

[plachon]

Wow, a whole editorial on safe sex and not a hint of a mention about the risks of STDs and AIDS! Only the dangers of unwanted pregnancies.....I think a little help or education for the editor's sense of perspective on the subject is required. It's as if AIDS is no longer a threat and has magically gone away.

[NongKhaiKid]

This and so many issues are ignored by parents who happily abrogate their responsibilities and hide behind the ' it's the schools' job ' excuse.

[Seastallion]

The parents can't impart knowledge that they themselves do not possess.

The country needs an informed generation to start the parent-child instruction cycle. Therefore, sex education at school is imperative.

But sex education at school needs to tread carefully and design the lessons with deep consideration for the reality of their students.. A few months ago a group from an NGO or GO (not sure) gave a talk to students at my wife's school about condom use. After the talk, the students were asked to fill out a feed-back form. Most comments were along the lines of "Disgusting", "Why do we have to listen to this disgusting subject?" etc.

[rkidlad]

Safe sex: A little help from Mum and Dad, please

Any kind of sex with you parents is bad. Doesn't matter if it's safe.

[Toknarok]

Wow, a whole editorial on safe sex and not a hint of a mention about the risks of STDs and AIDS! Only the dangers of unwanted pregnancies.....I think a little help or education for the editor's sense of perspective on the subject is required. It's as if AIDS is no longer a threat and has magically gone away.

Perhaps another effort from 'Mister Condom' Meechai is necessary this time concentrating on teenagers where the rates of HIV infection are on the rise. This link is a year old (there is a more recent one but I cannot find it). Rates are still rising....http://www.voanews.com/content/new-rise-in-hiv-aids-cases-among-young-in-thailand/2426817.html

[KIWIBATCH]

wasn't the "fix" for all this sexual activity amongst teenagers...a simple matter of going and "playing soccer" (suggested by some bright spark Govt minister a year or so back).....what happened?....ran out of balls to play with...?

[maidee]

it all starts with education

but i got one of them wives that thinks .. if you tell them about it, they will do it

and my wife has uni degree, work in a big english speaking company ...

so i have to inform my daughters, that MEN are PIGS and that they will tell you many lies (i love you) & stories (first time cannot get pregnant) to get into their panties

what about making it a law, that the DAD is responsible financially .... thai people love money & greed, so make them BLEED for their mistakes , if that is the only incentive to keep it in your pants

Edited September 30, 2015 by maidee

[empireboy]

My partner is amazed that I talk so freely with our daughter about such taboo issues.

Frankly, I remember growing up when it was an almost taboo subject too....

Time will reveal all to Thais and they will eventually advance into the modern era... just maybe not in my lifetime!

[sawadee1947]

sexual education is most important in school. But this implements that the teachers are trained in it. Not only to explain prevention, but also to help and support pregnant girls.

And - at last - we have to talk about abortion! Where to get? It has to be free.

It's much better to have an abortion than to give your - unwanted - child to your Grand parents where they got an education of last centuries.

[ronwparker]

All education is poor bty western stanards not just sex education!

[ronwparker]

The parents need it too

[Don Mega]

Safe sex: A little help from Mum and Dad, please

Any kind of sex with you parents is bad. Doesn't matter if it's safe.

Thats why the uncles step in and lend a hand.

[tigermoth]

..................so how can it remain a taboo subject in so many Thai households?

Good question, so many Thai parents need to be educated on the matter first,

then perhaps they will be able to educate their children.

Correct. It's the parents that are the problem, not their siblings. There are more 30 year old upward single mothers in this country than there are teenagers by a long way. There is no way the parents can educate their children.

[jaywalker]

My partner is amazed that I talk so freely with our daughter about such taboo issues.

Frankly, I remember growing up when it was an almost taboo subject too....

Time will reveal all to Thais and they will eventually advance into the modern era... just maybe not in my lifetime!

When I was about 10, one of my brothers was married and his wife was pregnant.

My Bible-thumping mother didn't want anyone to use the word "pregnant" around me (even though she had just plopped out my younger brother.....her 5th kid).

Everybody was supposed to say, "She's expecting a baby".

----------------------------

When I was 20, I was a LOOOONG way from being married. At the time my 18 year old GF's parents had her on the pill, and I'm quite happy they did too, as the rather stormy relationship lasted all of 6 months.

That was 1987, and almost nobody had heard of AIDS back then.

My daughter is 10 now, and I'll be educating her with simple talk that is quite straight forward and to the point about what those boys will be trying to do to her.

They are pigs. I was a pig, so I know.

I wish she could have stayed a baby forever, but that ain't how the world works.

I'll buy her all the pills and condoms she wants, as it will be humanly impossible to stop it from happening.

[williamgeorgeallen]

this countries males seem obsessed with young females. pretty sure the same males go to great lengths to keep their young daughters chaste.

[hawker9000]

It would be nice if a to-the-point, heart-to-heart, parent-to-child, quality-time chat were all it takes. And not that it does any harm certainly. But if you've raised your kid in a permissive. hands-off, lots-of-tv, relatively unsupervised environment, I don't really think a sudden rush of parental responsibility via a 15-min chat at high-school age is going to reverse that child's course.

Parenting really should be licensed.

[Basil B]

Bit of the Chicken and Egg...

If Mummy and Daddy had been practising safe sex, they would not be Mummy and Daddy...

[northernphil]

Just a thought. Lots of ferlung go with bar girls. The bar girls are very often young mums with children tucked away some where. Do YOU use condoms when you bed these girls and do you do so as you don't want to catch anything nasty or do you not want the girl to get pregnant ............as you fly back home and forget about your encounter ? How many on TV would truly care if a Thai girl was left pregnant or is it just me ? And here we are going on about teen lads.

[fang37]

One method which is safe, natural & causes no discomfort is - place the knees together & squeeze.

Current research has revealed positive results.

[PeVee1st]

And this is the country that banned condom machines in schools to stop promiscuity.

5555555

[Thongkorn]

Safe sex: A little help from Mum and Dad, please

Any kind of sex with you parents is bad. Doesn't matter if it's safe.

Thats why the uncles step in and lend a hand.

After the Brother has pimped them out.

Most people are alone when they first have sex,

Edited September 30, 2015 by Thongkorn

[Praematura]

Thai birthrates is already too low. Look at it 30 years ago and it's about 1/5 of that level.

[ramrod711]

A mother who finds a condom in her teenage daughter's purse is apt to react with shock, anger and dismay, but she could just as easily feel relieved that her child is at least protected from the likelihood of a pregnancy occurring far too early in life.

Not just the daughter protected, in this country the parents will be the ones raising the child. If mom and dad don't want to be raising babies in their golden years they should educate and therefor protect the daughter and themselves.

[Artisi]

Wow, a whole editorial on safe sex and not a hint of a mention about the risks of STDs and AIDS! Only the dangers of unwanted pregnancies.....I think a little help or education for the editor's sense of perspective on the subject is required. It's as if AIDS is no longer a threat and has magically gone away.

It's ok, AIDS and like problems have been for a number of atitude adjustment sessions, so no longer pose any problems.