Where Are All The 30+ Thai Gay Men..

[ChrisP]

So... where do the 50+ farang who are interested in 30+ Thaiguys.. (educated, sophisticated)... go to find them.??

ChrisP

[Basher]

Temples, hospices and graveyards mate

Bash

[Bobcat]

What a moronic response.

[Basher]

FRED DE SAM LAZARO: Many Buddhist temples are tourist attractions in Thailand. But this one, tucked away in a hillside north of Bangkok, is unusual. It was built a decade ago to be a hospice, a place where AIDS patients come to die with dignity. There are about 300 beds here, a fraction of the demand. But thousands of tourists, most of them Thai, come through each week. They meet and take pictures with AIDS patients; view the stark crematory and bone room, where the bones and ashes of patients lie in piles thousands high; and the after-death room, a macabre display that more befits a pathology museum. In fact, tourist donations sustain this facility, and the founding monk says it helps sensitize the public to the AIDS problem and educates school kids, who arrive by the busload.

PHRA ALONGKOT DIKKAPANYO: If they can see for themselves, not only listen or look at the pictures, they can understand easily. And it is a good way of education in our country.

FRED DE SAM LAZARO: Thailand has long been in the vanguard in tackling AIDS. It was the first Asian country to suffer an epidemic centered around another enduring tourist attraction: The commercial sex trade, which caters both to Thai and foreign tourists. Thailand had a quick response when AIDS hit in the early '90s. Not with money or health services, but with its highly successful family-planning program. It had popularized one of the most effective weapons in AIDS prevention: The condom. The campaign was led by Mechai Viravaidya, a politician from a prominent family, economist by training, but best known as Thailand's "Condom King." We first interviewed him last year.

MECHAI VIRAVAIDYA: We said, "Look, one must not be embarrassed by a condom. It's just from a rubber tree, like a tennis ball. If you're embarrassed by a condom, you must be more embarrassed by the tennis ball. There's more rubber in it." We said, "You could use it as a balloon, as a tourniquet for snake bites and deep cuts, you can use the lubrication for after-shave lotion, and use the ring of the condom as a hair band. What a wonderful product. Why be embarrassed by it?" So we gave them out all over, and said, "Look, the condom is clean in your mind, it is not dirty. So please, take one."

FRED DE SAM LAZARO: Viavaidya took his case early to monasteries and monks. Surveys shored they where the most influential people, especially in rural areas of this predominantly Buddhist nation of 60 million. Leading scholars were asked to develop a structural basis for the campaign.

MECHAI VIRAVAIDYA: And in the Buddhist scriptures it said, "Many births cause suffering," so Buddhism is not against family planning. And we even ended up with monks sprinkling holy water on pills and condoms for the sanctity of the family before shipments went out into the villages. So when AIDS came along, it's like using "Gone With the Wind" in Technicolor and stereophonic sound. It's just redoing the family planning program and getting out to the public.

FRED DE SAM LAZARO: The renewed condom and AIDS information campaign is widely credited with a dramatic drop in the number of HIV infections, from about 140,000 a year in 1990, to about 30,000 cases a year a decade later.

MECHAI VIRAVAIDYA: So any customer who buys some fruit will also get condoms and AIDS safety tips.

FRED DE SAM LAZARO: Fewer Thai men visit brothels, and of those who do, the number using condoms went from below ten percent to more than 90 percent. But amid the severe Asian financial crisis, Thailand cut funds for its AIDS campaign in the late '90s. That's blamed for an increase in infections among certain key populations, including pregnant women. Experts say this group represents the emerging generation of adults, and the message hasn't resonated with enough of them. Viravaidya says the lesson is: There is no room for complacency, and that campaigns must be sustained.

MECHAI VIRAVAIDYA: You can't just do it for a year and stop. You have to continue and change your message, put it into soap operas, commercial movies again; we have to redesign our public education program and make it a bit more jazzy compared to its last days of somewhat dullness.

FRED DE SAM LAZARO: So, it just basically lost steam?

MECHAI VIRAVAIDYA: Yes.

FRED DE SAM LAZARO: Viravaidya is confident Thailand's infection rate can be contained once again. Awareness is high, as is literacy, as is the availability of condoms. The big problem is how to deal with the one million or so Thais already infected. Tens of thousands of previously symptom-free HIV patients are now in the visible, advanced, or terminal, stages of the disease. The campaigns may have raised awareness, curiosity, and even generous donations, but patients like Phra Choochart, one of about a dozen monks here, say that doesn't translate to sympathy or compassion.

PRA CHOOCHART: I keep secret for many years. But finally, something happened in my skin. It beginning to appear. I cannot keep secret anymore. So, I come to be a monk because in society if you catch HIV, nobody want you; also your family.

FRED DE SAM LAZARO: Family members rarely visit patients, most of whom are from the lower socioeconomic groups. The monastery offers a refuge. But with the pressing numbers, even here, the care seems more matter of fact than compassionate. Chris Lack is a recent medical graduate from Australia, one of several foreign volunteers.

CHRIS LACK, Volunteer Doctor: Right, so these are the coffins that every day when patients die and they're loaded into one of these, and then the next morning they're taken in a truck out here and off to the crematorium. There are seven, seven ovens in the crematorium. So, apparently, when they were building it, they built it with the belief that... that, you know... I might just go over and check if this guy's alright. He's still alive. He will probably die tonight. He's held on for a couple days now, and he didn't seem like he would, but he's... pretty much all that moves now are his eyes, and even his eyes only sometimes move. So, he's very much in the last stage.

FRED DE SAM LAZARO: Death here is a no-frills affair. Every day, an average of two to three patients die. They are transferred to the crematory, and after a brief Buddhist ceremony, the bones and ashes are piled up ever higher. Few patients remains are ever claimed by their families. The Abbott hopes in time that the hospice will teach people that AIDS needn't be contagious; that families should care for their loved ones at home.

PRA ALONGKOT DIKKAPANYO: I try to give knowledge to our people for a long time, ten years. And nowadays, they can visit the patients. They like to learn, they like to visit, but they cannot touch the patients. Maybe five or ten years in the future, our hospital will be like a school: It gives knowledge; people can come here and learn how to look after the patient in their family.

FRED DE SAM LAZARO: Also, the Thailand government will soon make available at just a dollar a day the so-called cocktail drugs; these expensive anti-retroviral drugs are now commonly used by HIV patients in the West; in time, they should extend the lives of Thai HIV patients and lessen the need for spaces like these. Right now, this monastery has a waiting list of 10,000 AIDS patients.

[Guest Lazarus]

Nice one Bash..Your own work mate?

[Bobcat]

I stand by my original comment.

[Basher]

MECHAI VIRAVAIDYA: We said, "Look, one must not be embarrassed by a condom. It's just from a rubber tree, like a tennis ball. If you're embarrassed by a condom, you must be more embarrassed by the tennis ball. There's more rubber in it." We said, "You could use it as a balloon, as a tourniquet for snake bites and deep cuts, you can use the lubrication for after-shave lotion, and use the ring of the condom as a hair band. What a wonderful product. Why be embarrassed by it?" So we gave them out all over, and said, "Look, the condom is clean in your mind, it is not dirty. So please, take one."

I never knew they were so versatile!!!

[ChrisP]

Wow...

How did this thread get to be so "serious"...?

I was hoping to discuss dating.. not dying.

ChrisP

[Guest Lazarus]

In some villages, they go hand in hand Chris. Sad fact of life. The guy who said families don't want to know, was not part of a village where Laurie Maund and his guys from Wat Chedi Luang in Chiang Mai, have taught.

An interesting experience indeed.

[JemJem]

Dear Chris,

I think the main reason that 30+ Thai gay guys are not 'around' much is that a lot of gay (and also bisexual) guys in Thailand (just like in many other countries) tend to quit the 'scene' after a certain age and many of them even get married to women, have kids and all that.

Even though there is a high degree of tolerance/acceptance of gays/lesbians in Thailand, we all know that Thai parents want their children to get married, have kids and all that. So, once they reach their thirties, many gays and lesbians tend to get married to people of the opposite sex. Of course, many of these people might have same-sex affairs after they get married but very very few of them will be seen in the 'scene', as they will be having their affairs 'discreetly'.

What do you think of this theory of mine ?

Regards,

Jem

[ChrisP]

Hi Jem..

I think it has a certain validity... although I don't know how many Thais actually are truly bisexual.. or just flip-flop depending on what's available. I'm still learning their "characteristics"...

I do know people who have found 30+ gay bf's for successful relationships.. so they ARE there... just a little more difficult to find.. amongst all the money/bar boys.

Some people recommend Gay.com BKK chat room....

ChrisP

[mrmnp]

ChrisP: Approaching your question on a mutual "attracton" basis, saunas (bathhouses) are regular venues for "closeted" thais of all persuasions.

Looking for educated Thai gays, try anything to do with a university.

Sports venues for the athletes.

I know a gay Thai educator, who after tennis, visits the local all male sauna. He is unattractive by western standards, so a sauna visit would save you ennumerable faculty teas and tennis in this heat.

Good luck.

[-jr-]

Yes. You can find them in sauna and some designer restaurants. Much easier in sauna though. Coz you don't have to wonder if they're gay or regular customer. A good venue for Thais who after farangs is Babylon. For his character, check it yourself. Flirt those look educated and talk to them (yes, they do talking there as well, sometimes).

a word of advice: SAFE SEX ONLY

[Drew345]

There is a Thai Gay Kareoke bar near Kao San Road, (but not in the tourist area), which is mostly over 30 years old Thai Men, actually mostly over 40 years old. Name is New Friends Kareoke. I have rarely seen another Farang there. Just wait for someone to sing an English song and go talk with them and chat and enjoy.

There is a new Sauna in Chinatown named GSM, again mostly over 30, over 40 year old men. Safe sex required, flirting recomended.

PM or email me for more info on getting to these places.

Drew

[wcr]

Are there any places like this in Pattaya?

[ChrisP]

NOW we're back on track... Finally!

Thanks Drew345...

I had no idea about that Karaoke bar...

ChrisP

[thomasma]

Could u be more specific on what type u need(Thai-thai, Chinese-thai, Atheletic, chubby, etc)? As one of them(30+ Thai), I think I hv some idea on where u’d find them.

[john b good]

What a moronic response.

I would not respond quite (then again I just might) so strongly however I might question a moderator using the forum as a vehicle for "dating"

I'm not sure if the doc had that in mind!

[ChrisP]

Hi John B...

If you mean me... I already have a bf.

I asked the original question because it was asked of me by someone not a member on here... I thought maybe I could pass on some information, and maybe enlighten some of our members too.

Now, if I'd said "Seeking slim, sexy Thai... 35+... Phone: 6789-1234" then that's a different story.

ChrisP

[astral]

As another moderator, I consider it to be a fair question to be asked in this forum.

ChrisP was not touting, just asking "where like minded people meet?"

[thomasma]

Check it out at the gyms! At hi-end hotels, CFC, Fitness First, etc. look for the right crowd u need, n apply for membership. There’s a preety good chance u can get 2 find them there. Those single guys,30+ frequenting gym r 90% gay n r pretty well-off. Good chance, huh?

[ChrisP]

Now you come to mention it, I think you have a point!

I've been cruised at the Clark Hatch Fitness in Thaniya Plaza BKK more than once!

ChrisP

[Ijustwannateach]

Um, also a lot of 30+ yo gay guys are actually finally working, even if they had long careers as barboys and other dodgy types- 'cause they're finally unquestionably "over the hill" as far as having their meal tickets paid is concerned.

Look in the service industries, here as everywhere!

"Steven"

[bamafarang]

Hi, I think gay.com is a great place to meet 30+ guys if your looking for them. They are out there for sure, and many of them have out grown the "scene." Just go in the room and edit your profile to say that your looking for thai guys over 30...it used to work for me every time. You will get a response for sure

[Ijustwannateach]

A bit off-topic, but- do you guys find the internet a productive place to look for "real" Thai guys- not just window-shopping for "students" who need "tuition" or "tips?"

"Steven"

[bamafarang]

In my opinion, I find that the Internet is a great place to meet "real" thai gay guys, as opposed to trying your luck picking guys up on the scene. I met my boyfriend on gay.com a couple of years ago, and he's got lots of friends that chat all the time looking for farang boyfriends

[JemJem]

Internet can be a great place to meet people, friends and lovers ! One just has to be careful. If you are seeking a lover, I would always suggest corresponding with that person for at least several weeks (exchanging numbers after a while and talkin on the phone) and THEN meeting him/her.

Me and my present boyfriend met via the Net (he had responded to my personal ad). It has worked out fine. But we have a long-distance relationship and that can be hard of course.

Regards,

Jem

[Ijustwannateach]

^Good idea. Taking some time also weeds out the types that just seem to be there to try to get naughty photos from each other- quite a lot of them! I've got one "normal" photo online, and several times when I've tried to get a phone number or something out of someone, they'd just keep asking me for more photos- when I told them there WERE no more, then I'd never hear from them again!

"Steven"

[PeaceBlondie]

As mentioned earlier, I met my long-term present b/f in a gay sauna in Chiang Mai. You could post a personal ad, such as on www.dreadedned.com

I don't agree that all the Thai gay men over 30 have died of AIDS, gone back into the closet, or married a woman. My boyfriend knows lots of like-minded gay Thais who were out of the closet long before age 18. They finished school, found a trade or profession, and have a decent life (never having been barboys, we hope). Most of them want a Thai lover, but some are attracted to Western men. If they're responsible, they only have one day off per week at most, and a little time in the evening. Catch them if you can. But be honest, and force them to tell you the truth.

But maybe I was just lucky, or blessed. You may have to look long and hard.

[phukethealthtravel]

In Phuket:

Phuket Town:

Suang Luang Park between 19.00 and 22.00 (The park is closed after 22.00)

Jammin (music pub)

Timber Hut (music pub)

Dibuk Restaurant (Lesbian owned restaurant)

In Patong:

Connect (Restaurant and Internet caffee, also guesthouse)

The flying Handbag Bar (british owned bar)

The Boat Bar

/Ulf