GlutinousMaximus Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Whenever mine plays games, I grab her and shag her, that usually puts an end to the silliness. If that doesn't work, I go out to a bar or gogo, get drunk then grab one of the girls and shag her. Makes me feel better every time! I just hope you don't keep ducks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F4UCorsair Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Ditch the b****!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
connda Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 (edited) Buy a copy of the book Thailand Fever, then scan the book until you find relevant information pertaining to "The Silence". After you grasp the cultural background, then find the corresponding section about how farang deal with problems. Basically we get angry, blow off steam, and it's over and done with; Thais get angry, brood, and either get over it, or they don't and eventually 'explode'. My wife is now more like a farang. She'll get angry, and instead of sitting on it in silence, she'll just blow off steam - but I usually have to start that process. It usually starts when I ask her, "What are you so pissed about...", and then she has permission, so to speak, to get angry and vocal. An hour or two later, we're all good. She also knows that when I 'go silent' to simply leave me alone. I 'go silent' when I have personal problems I'm trying to deal with, and I need quiet time. She understands that. Your wife may interpret that from a Thai perspective and assume you are angry at her. From our farang perspective, it's simply part of our independent nature to work alone to solve problems. If I go quiet, I'll eventual tell my wife why, and that I need 'my own space and some time for myself to think'. She understands. That's compromise. You both need to come to grips with the differences of your respective cultures, and then talk and find ways to compromise and accept each other's cultural oddities. Compromise is the key word. Best of luck/Chokdii Edited October 16, 2015 by connda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emilymat Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Is there any ;ink with her periods?. Quite serious question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misterphil Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 (edited) Are you giving her a good seeing to? She might be wanting a good shagging. When was the last time you gave her an orgasm? Edited October 16, 2015 by misterphil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petermik Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 don't put up with her crap finish with her go and find a women that likes you and treats you with respect that you want and need Tell her that you find her "silent treatment" days very difficult to understand-ask her if you have offended her in any way to cause this,if she does not want or does not give you a suitable answer tell her that you are NOT prepared to spend the rest of your life in a relationship as this.Believe me if you put up with this now there will be much more to come in the future.Plenty of ladies out there looking for decent guys-seems like yours wants a doormat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petermik Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Whenever mine plays games, I grab her and shag her, that usually puts an end to the silliness. If that doesn't work, I go out to a bar or gogo, get drunk then grab one of the girls and shag her. Makes me feel better every time! Maybe if you made love to yours more often she wouldn,t "play games".............shagging is for self satisfaction Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fang37 Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 MaeJoMTB may be pulling 2 legs - yours & his own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carpediem86 Posted October 16, 2015 Author Share Posted October 16, 2015 Buy a copy of the book Thailand Fever, then scan the book until you find relevant information pertaining to "The Silence". After you grasp the cultural background, then find the corresponding section about how farang deal with problems. Basically we get angry, blow off steam, and it's over and done with; Thais get angry, brood, and either get over it, or they don't and eventually 'explode'. My wife is now more like a farang. She'll get angry, and instead of sitting on it in silence, she'll just blow off steam - but I usually have to start that process. It usually starts when I ask her, "What are you so pissed about...", and then she has permission, so to speak, to get angry and vocal. An hour or two later, we're all good. She also knows that when I 'go silent' to simply leave me alone. I 'go silent' when I have personal problems I'm trying to deal with, and I need quiet time. She understands that. Your wife may interpret that from a Thai perspective and assume you are angry at her. From our farang perspective, it's simply part of our independent nature to work alone to solve problems. If I go quiet, I'll eventual tell my wife why, and that I need 'my own space and some time for myself to think'. She understands. That's compromise. You both need to come to grips with the differences of your respective cultures, and then talk and find ways to compromise and accept each other's cultural oddities. Compromise is the key word. Best of luck/Chokdii A really good book! I read it before we even met in person, because I knew we would have big cultural differences so I thought that would be a good start. She already knew a lot about western culture and European culture, but I marked all pages where I had some questions and asked her about it. So she read those chapters only. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minikev Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Do The silent days usually occur after her spending time with mother or grandmother? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carpediem86 Posted October 16, 2015 Author Share Posted October 16, 2015 Do The silent days usually occur after her spending time with mother or grandmother? No, and she only met my grandmother once. My mother she met several times, but no strange behaviour after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fang37 Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Advice overload? This thread - 19hrs > 100 replies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laobali Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 My five cent. We are basically done when we reach five to six years of age. As we grow older we polish the egdes and, in most cases, become more mature. To ask an adult to change his/her personality is virtually impossible. May Western women fail to understand that, and this is, I mean, one of the most common reason for divorses among Westernes. When we meet a new partner we will soon realise the that person has many positive side, and that is why we became interested in the first place. But, we will also discover sides that we may not like very much. Keeping in mind that those so-called 'negative sides' will allways be there, one must ask oneself whether one can live with them or not. If the answer is no, then the only sensible choise is to break up and look elsewhere as the relation is doomed to fail. You gave me some food for thought there – worth more than 5 cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crankshaft Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 To the "OP"...cheaper to rent than own..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gringogazzer Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 To the "OP"...cheaper to rent than own.....It's also easier to eat everyday from fast food chains than cook yourself a decent meal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thaimike370 Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Ditch her, it will only get worse if you marry her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wabothai Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Take your backppack and go on holiday for a couple of weeks with your motocy. Does wonders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mogoso Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Buy a stash of inexpensive but nice jewelry. silver, onyx etc give her a bracelet, ear rings, necklace, matching sets but one item at a time. Silver charm bracelet one charm at a time. Not so much money but it'll lighten her mood. Don't discuss her silence just break the pattern of her thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fang37 Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Counselling from a Buddhist monk? You both attend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RapidMethod Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 She is "kee noi jai", easily hurt and passive-aggressive. She knows no other way to deal with problems. If you find it tolerable, keep on. Otherwise, easy for any of us to say, but really, RUN. ThaKnave, you've hit the nail on the head. Many (most) Thai woman are like this. ขี้น้อยใจ (kee noi jai) - easily upset or offended. They are brought up never to question authority (/parents) or complain. It's part of Thai culture for women (especially) to suffer in silence and basically follow orders and perform their duties without question. So you are benefiting in one sense: she has been programmed to be a dutiful and docile wife. This is a bit of an over-simplification and of course there are women who rebel against this (and probably why they prefer a farang boyfriend who might not treat them in a domineering way as a Thai man). But you have to deal with the consequences of this programming, which is that she will not explain why she is upset or offended. It may not be something you did or anything about you or your behavior: it may be some problem she is having with her family or a friend or at work. Whatever it is, she will be loath to talk about it. There really is no way to deal with this, other than to ignore it and wait for her to get over whatever it is. She will never tell you what is bothering her. If it's something about you that she dislikes then she will simply shut herself off for a few days or a week and then somehow manage to 'grin and bear it' by forgiving you temporarily. She may consider leaving you if it's something that really disturbs her. But most of the time, she will stay, even if she's unhappy. Breaking off the relationship is a failure and loss of face on her part. If there is enough about you (and the arrangement of living together) that appeals to her then she will be loving and forgiving as much as she can. And then retreat into herself when she can't stand it anymore. It's complicated and I don't pretend to understand it. You can't undo aeons of social programming. So - as TheKnave says - either accept it and live with it, or go find someone else (preferably not Thai because it'll be more of the same, regardless who you go out with). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oncearugge Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 "preferably not Thai because it'll be more of the same, regardless who you go out with" Nonsense. I have been married to a Thai lady for a long time and she does not indulge in stupid, childish behavior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petchabun Man Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 At least she is not a typical bar girl/massage girl that the MAJORITY of foreigners date and marry. Sounds like your a little smarter and not a total loser/boozer like the MAJORITY of foreigners that move here are. Give her a chance to sort things out . But my advice is not to marry her for at least a year whether mom likes it or not. Your still young take your time.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oncearugge Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 At least she is not a typical bar girl/massage girl that the MAJORITY of foreigners date and marry. Sounds like your a little smarter and not a total loser/boozer like the MAJORITY of foreigners that move here are. Give her a chance to sort things out . But my advice is not to marry her for at least a year whether mom likes it or not. Your still young take your time.. You are projecting a very jaundiced view of "Foreigners" which is probably based on personal experience. Are you acquainted with the "Majority" of foreigners who would not share your opinion(s) ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JHolmesJr Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 I have found cunnilingus usually cures silence. Use with caution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fang37 Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Mr Holmes Per chance, did you star in porno movies in the '70s? If so, I am envious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerzy Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Slowly, slowly - don't force the issue. Yeah this could be a good idea. We have already talked about it a bit before because it makes me feel really bad so I had to try. That didn't help, specially the first time since I tried to talk about it while she was in this mood. And it just made her feel worse and she stayed like this longer, and the first time it happened we where not in the same country so I wrote in text chat. Bad idea. After that I have been much more careful about any problems or ideas to make our situation better. I will try to talk about it the most sensitive way possible, but still I feel the need to bring it up somehow. Remember. It is very difficult to walk on eggshells without causing damage. Maybe work related....where does she work??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glassdude007 Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Sounds like she is playing head and heart games with you as I'm sure she knows how much you care about her Happiness.. Just wondering is she silent in bed as well during these silent periods?? Still Hab Boom Boom? If she not let you play in bed more of a problem than just o moody immature thai girl.. Good luck hope all turns out well for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gemguy Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 (edited) Actually that is a very common trait or better yet a common Thai female idiosyncrasy and one of their major character faults and reasons I never seriously entertained the idea of having a steady Thai GF or marrying a Thai woman. I noticed that all of them have a degree of moodiness ranging from mood swings occurring all too often onwards to bouts of moodiness that change from hour to hour...seriously. To make matters worse I came to realize that they all feel entitled to be moody and openly display their moodiness regardless if it effects other people and especially you, being their Lover or BF or Husband, while they mistakenly believe you should know why they are moody and never have to ask ...rather you are required to understand their moodiness and the reasons for it and tip toe around their mood swings and cater to their moodiness to their satisfaction....or..... it makes them more moody. It is child like behavior ..but it is part of the Thai female personality and it will grate on your nerves if you so happen to have a Thai Girl or Thai Woman that openly displays her moodiness while the silent treatment is just one of the many aspects of a Thai Woman's moodiness. Now having said all that....If it happens once in a while during a month or once a month you may clue in and finally realize it is her time of the month and she is suffering her time of the month....so take note of when exactly she has her time of the month and try to comfort her ( up to you ) while understanding her moodiness would be or could be because of that time of the month for her. Cheers Edited October 16, 2015 by gemguy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 You do know, don't you OP, that you (we) will never understand women? Just take your time, don't commit yourself further, until you have some sort of handle on this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozyjon Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 This lady has many men you are just one she is worried other boyfriend will find out about you maybe mix western/thai man In Nong Han, near Udon Thani, there is a town with big houses all built with Swiss money, nick name Swiss Town, but no Swiss man there, you are next. I really love her, and she me. RUBBISH-NO Thai people don't,,love,, they take care, how many times you say to her do you love me? did she say to you NO? Try to look in her phone, how many foreign numbers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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