Keeping score. How to measure your success as a Thai expat

[dotpoom]

By how mature I am?

[Petchabun Man]

and where did you meet your 8.5 ? let me guess.

I measure my success only on the "hottness" of my current girlfriend. My current one, I'd give an 8.5. She's pretty damn hot and the farang blokes I meet are all jealous. That is the only thing of importance to me.

[rgs2001uk]

I dont look back, I only look forward.

I keep score by how much I dont give a toss.

No bridges burnt in Farangistan, still have family and friends, still have a job and houses to go back to.

When the time comes to leave here, I will walk away with head held high and onward to better things.

How do I keep score, I have the option of checking out whenever I want.

[rgs2001uk]

I owe Thailand nothing, it owes me nothing.

Thanks for the good times, see you around.

Will be heading to the land of the free, free healthcare, free kids schooling, pensions kept up to date.

In all honesty, what would keep anyone in Thailand?

Edited November 9, 2015 by rgs2001uk

[singa-traz]

...

I'm not running around obsessively comparing myself to other people, careening from emotional highs to emotional lows depending on whether I meet someone who is better off or worse off than me. When I encounter someone who is not doing well, I try to help them, or learn from their mistakes. When I meet someone who is doing well, I try to learn from them.

But I refuse to accept for a minute the notion that anyone who compares themselves to other people is emotionally unhealthy or a loser.

The journey can be long from "Denial to Acceptance" ...

"Keeping score. Admit it. We all do it." ... no, we don't all do it.

Your success looks probably different from their success.

So, the only person that is worth comparing with, is, with your yesterday's self.

As for your metrics ... reflect on what is important to you, not others.

Good luck, bcause the longer you stay in denial ... the more painful will be the day you wake up.

[SoiBiker]

In all honesty, what would keep anyone in Thailand?

I like it here.

[Fabricus]

...

I'm not running around obsessively comparing myself to other people, careening from emotional highs to emotional lows depending on whether I meet someone who is better off or worse off than me. When I encounter someone who is not doing well, I try to help them, or learn from their mistakes. When I meet someone who is doing well, I try to learn from them.

But I refuse to accept for a minute the notion that anyone who compares themselves to other people is emotionally unhealthy or a loser.

The journey can be long from "Denial to Acceptance" ...

"Keeping score. Admit it. We all do it." ... no, we don't all do it.

Your success looks probably different from their success.

So, the only person that is worth comparing with, is, with your yesterday's self.

As for your metrics ... reflect on what is important to you, not others.

Good luck, bcause the longer you stay in denial ... the more painful will be the day you wake up.

I've seen a surprising number of superb posts here on TV recently.

Yours is one of them.

[puukao]

if old and rich, who cares.....unless you can give it to someone

if young and rich, you will be exploited and fail big time

if young and poor...you will experience life

if old and poor...you will hate life

so get rich in your 30's....get 6% body fat......good genes......eat OK.....and learn everything!!!

then we will talk about your family; wife, etc.......because a mad wife can ruin it all!!!!!! lol

[JLCrab]

After 11 years I AM ALIVE, barely, but ALIVE !

Congratulations are in order.

Wine, women & song?

“I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.”

― W.C. Fields

[stander]

Read this article in The Economist yesterday.

Blinded by aspiration

A study by Ada Ferrer-i-Carbonell. Where she concludes that there is an asymmetry in the way people compare themselves with others. We tend to look exclusively at those better off than us, rather than contemplate our position within the full range of outcomes. When the lot of others improves, we react negatively, but when our own lot improves, we shift our reference group to those who are still better off. In other words, we are never satisfied, since we quickly become accustomed to our own achievements. Perhaps that is what spurs people to earn more, and economies to grow.

[JAFO]

In other words, we are never satisfied, since we quickly become accustomed to our own achievements. Perhaps that is what spurs people to earn more, and economies to grow.

That quoted clip from your post is the crux of it all. We are inundated by the media, TV commercials, ads, people, colleagues etc to always have and want more. It some how defines us and our place in society. The success achieved and the more material things one has; i.e. bigger house, location one lives, the more expensive the car, the more trips they take sets people apart from others. This is why I think very wealthy people having everything become extremely deranged and do ridiculous things because their only option to show they are still in the game is to either try and be a trend setter or get themselves in the eye of the media.

I also think this is why people never retire. They fear they will loose their place and their perceived success level. Sad really. Life is so much bigger but there is a ton of brainwashing that happens very early on in our lives that sets this "Grow up and be successful" bar.

[rgs2001uk]

In all honesty, what would keep anyone in Thailand?

I like it here.

Best of luck to you.

Heres some examples of people I know of who had to leave.

Personal reasons : either aging parents back home to take care of, or childrens education to consider, sometimes it isnt about you or me, but about others.

Medical reasons : I mentioned on another thread about 60 a day man, he had a stroke.

Woe betide you if you need a liver transplant or kidney dialysis.

Professional reasons : Onwards and upwards, Hong Kong or Sydney, up the career ladder.

I didnt see that one coming : One guy, his wife topped herself (gambling debts), another his wife wiped herself out in a m/c accident.

The two above were on a married mans visa, and didnt have enough to convert to a retirement visa.

Another, lost his job, too young for early retirement, no house or job to go back to, now living here off his severance, in truth, he is only delaying the inevitable.

YMMV.

[SoiBiker]

Well, that sucks for them.

I still like it here, though.

[connda]

From my perspective or a Thai's perspective?

My perspective: I have a roof over my head, food, transportation, a good family, two dogs, more than one computer running more than on operating system, and Internet. I'm doing fine!

From a Thai perspectives (especially CM Immigration): My status is somewhere between a buffalo and the excrement the buffalo drops regularly on the ground.

[connda]

Why the hell keep score??? At the end of the day we all go into the same size hole???

In the ground? Not me.

The opening that I'm going into is positioned laterally, sort of like an easy bake oven. Shove the box in and set on high for a couple of hours. Don't come back until well-done. As my dad said to the chef about his steaks, "Burn it!" That's the end score: Well charred!

I pass the building and chimney every day. We're friends.

[connda]

When my hot Thai wife agrees with me.

Honey! Can I have the top tonight? I can!!! Cool You're what? When did it start? You kidding me. Ya, I'll go to 7/11 and buy you a box.

"dammit"

[connda]

I've always defined being financially rich as having optimal opportunities and choices. If you have lots of money then the cars, motorbikes, houses/condos, Thai ladies, travel, restaurants & hotels, clothes, jewelry, and much more are whatever you want them to be.

For sure poverty won't increase happiness. I've heard it said that if money won't buy happiness then you're shopping in the wrong place. However, I've know rich people who are not happy, and some rich people are actually made unhappy by their money ... esp. if that money came quickly and easily.

Personally, I've tried poor and I've tried wealthy, and I know which one I prefer. ;-)

Anyway, at the end of the day the thing that makes me the happiest is making other people happy. That really puts a smile on my face and makes me feel good about myself and my life.

My ex-manager who was a self-servicing jackass had something like 12 cars, 10 snowmobiles, a few houses, and I hope when the over-rated asshat dies, he's able to stuff them all in the coffin with him.

[connda]

Read this article in The Economist yesterday.

Blinded by aspiration

A study by Ada Ferrer-i-Carbonell. Where she concludes that there is an asymmetry in the way people compare themselves with others. We tend to look exclusively at those better off than us, rather than contemplate our position within the full range of outcomes. When the lot of others improves, we react negatively, but when our own lot improves, we shift our reference group to those who are still better off. In other words, we are never satisfied, since we quickly become accustomed to our own achievements. Perhaps that is what spurs people to earn more, and economies to grow.

I must be abnormal. I'm happy with what I have.

If Joe Blow wins the lottery, good for him. If the neighbor dies, I feel sorry for the family.

So now I know I must be abnormal. I'm happy with what I have.