A First Post

[Neeranam]

The whole ex bargirl thing winds me up, we all have a past but that is like saying all scots are tight (total bol**ks!!) if we are completely honest 90% of the girls we are with have probably worked bar at some stage, needs must it doesn't automatically make them some kind of evil coniving witch,we are all different

[Thumchok]

mark131v , Nuff Said , & Big Blue ,

Cheers for the good comments , and with that I will head off to bed .

BTW my apartment costs 12K/month , and my gf has already asked me to downsize . But I am comfortable here , and she now feels the same way .

I am looking at our future , though I know enough to make sure i have something in the end if it goes sour . I have around another 20-25 years of working life ahead of me , so feel that we should have enough time to set up for retirement .

Cheers again , and goodnight .

Jim .

[jing jing]

Jim, have you ever actually asked your fiancee why she doesn't want to move back to Roi Et and take care of her kids?

If you're interested in finding out why, that might be a good place to start...

It was already mentioned in the first post as to why she didn't want to go back to Roi Et . I haven't asked why she doesn't want to look after the kids .

I assume that she thinks that when the children are around that she will have less time fuss over me . And of course , I can go along with that .

She told me today that the eldest daughter finishes school this year ( Other than going away from the village and continuing ) I am waiting to see what she has in mind here . I am all for putting the children through a decent education , and giving them the best possible start in life , she is aware of this .

I think I will have the answer to this question over the next couple of weeks .

Cheers ,

Jim .

Interesting assumption...

Bottom line is, Jim, that life is more interesting in Bangkok than it is in Roi Et, and if the child rearing duties are already being handled by family back in the village then there is naturally little reason for her to want to move back there.

Most guys will tell you that relationships with ex-BGs have a better chance of succeeding if you can get the girl as far as possible from the old bar environment, but if you can't make that happen then so be it.

Have you mentioned how much time you spend away from Thailand? If you're here most of the time then it's less likely she has a husband back in the village she's hiding from you (and I know you don't even want to consider that possiblilty, but let's face it -- it wouldn't be the first or last time something like that happened in Thailand).

Have you ever stayed in the house you built? Who lives there now? How much did it cost?

The answers to these (and other) questions might help determine what is really going on up there, which is something I'd be interested in knowing if I was you, but then again, ignorance is bliss as they say.

[pepi1]

Not sure about this topic now. Microchip in her engagement ring! Whats all that about? Could this be a troll? As for bar girls, unless you can get them away within the first few weeks of working then remember-----You can take the girl away from the bar, but cannot take the bar away from the girl. Only my opinion

[bkkmadness]

Not sure about this topic now. Microchip in her engagement ring! Whats all that about? Could this be a troll?

You don't think the OP could have been joking do you?

I allready installed the microchip in the form of an engagement ring on her , 12 months ago . whistling.gif

remember-----You can take the girl away from the bar, but cannot take the bar away from the girl.

Quite frankly, this statement is bullshit, and an annoyingly repeated cliche. Just take a second to think about it.

[Neeranam]

QUOTE

remember-----You can take the girl away from the bar, but cannot take the bar away from the girl.

Quite frankly, this statement is bullshit, and an annoyingly repeated cliche. Just take a second to think about it.

I know a couple of ex bargirls who are now rich. They've been married to farang for a long time(over 20 years). They still have some negative elements of 'the bar' in them.

However, I know a few that have been successfully rehabilitated.

I agree, it's an annoying cliche.

[Mossfinn]

You don't think the OP could have been joking do you?

I allready installed the microchip in the form of an engagement ring on her , 12 months ago . whistling.gif

You don't say!

[Maizefarmer]

No Jim - you are quite right - I would have given you a very different reply had you not said anything about her having a "bright lights & bar" background. But the PI part I would still have suggested.

You see - the problem lies in your first posting. There is nothing in what you said that is unique or leads me to believe your situation is any different i.e. I have heard it all before. Let me say that again: the background story you shared with us is a classic - almost word for word.

As said, if you can come back to us with 100% clairifcation on the following it will go along way to addressing the sceptisim I and others have.

1) Copy of kids birth certificates to show she is the mother.

2 Copy of her marrige ceritifcate.

3) Copy of the death certificate (which shows the same name as the father and husband as in 1 & 2)

Tell you what - I'll put my money where my mouth is: $100 cash if you can scan and PM to me all 3 of the above (I read Thai as well as I read English) ........and I'll put the record straight for all others who have their eye on this forum.

Best Regards

Tim

Tim ,

Thanks for the generous offer , but I am not in need of the money .

I would be glad to PM these details for free , If I was able to obtain them .

Item #1 should not pose a problem , but 2 & 3 are . If I get a name , would we be able to ask for a death cert. only having the children as relatives ???

I am not sure of the process , and how open to the public these details would be .

Cheers ,

Jim .

If you can PM me moms Thai Id number - thats all I need: from that I'll tell you if she has ever been married, if she has children, their names and dates of birth, if she has a criminal record ect ect.... - yup, I dont even need her name - the fact that I can come back to you with her name and date of birth will be confirmation that my info is bang on the mark.

Nothing will be published - I'll PM you the info and you take can decide how much to share with forum members.

Tim

[bkkmadness]

No Jim - you are quite right - I would have given you a very different reply had you not said anything about her having a "bright lights & bar" background. But the PI part I would still have suggested.

You see - the problem lies in your first posting. There is nothing in what you said that is unique or leads me to believe your situation is any different i.e. I have heard it all before. Let me say that again: the background story you shared with us is a classic - almost word for word.

As said, if you can come back to us with 100% clairifcation on the following it will go along way to addressing the sceptisim I and others have.

1) Copy of kids birth certificates to show she is the mother.

2 Copy of her marrige ceritifcate.

3) Copy of the death certificate (which shows the same name as the father and husband as in 1 & 2)

Tell you what - I'll put my money where my mouth is: $100 cash if you can scan and PM to me all 3 of the above (I read Thai as well as I read English) ........and I'll put the record straight for all others who have their eye on this forum.

Best Regards

Tim

Tim ,

Thanks for the generous offer , but I am not in need of the money .

I would be glad to PM these details for free , If I was able to obtain them .

Item #1 should not pose a problem , but 2 & 3 are . If I get a name , would we be able to ask for a death cert. only having the children as relatives ???

I am not sure of the process , and how open to the public these details would be .

Cheers ,

Jim .

If you can PM me moms Thai Id number - thats all I need: from that I'll tell you if she has ever been married, if she has children, their names and dates of birth, if she has a criminal record ect ect.... - yup, I dont even need her name - the fact that I can come back to you with her name and date of birth will be confirmation that my info is bang on the mark.

Nothing will be published - I'll PM you the info and you take can decide how much to share with forum members.

Tim

Need a kleenex?

[Thumchok]

Jim, have you ever actually asked your fiancee why she doesn't want to move back to Roi Et and take care of her kids?

If you're interested in finding out why, that might be a good place to start...

It was already mentioned in the first post as to why she didn't want to go back to Roi Et . I haven't asked why she doesn't want to look after the kids .

I assume that she thinks that when the children are around that she will have less time fuss over me . And of course , I can go along with that .

She told me today that the eldest daughter finishes school this year ( Other than going away from the village and continuing ) I am waiting to see what she has in mind here . I am all for putting the children through a decent education , and giving them the best possible start in life , she is aware of this .

I think I will have the answer to this question over the next couple of weeks .

Cheers ,

Jim .

Interesting assumption...

Bottom line is, Jim, that life is more interesting in Bangkok than it is in Roi Et, and if the child rearing duties are already being handled by family back in the village then there is naturally little reason for her to want to move back there.

Most guys will tell you that relationships with ex-BGs have a better chance of succeeding if you can get the girl as far as possible from the old bar environment, but if you can't make that happen then so be it.

Have you mentioned how much time you spend away from Thailand? If you're here most of the time then it's less likely she has a husband back in the village she's hiding from you (and I know you don't even want to consider that possiblilty, but let's face it -- it wouldn't be the first or last time something like that happened in Thailand).

Have you ever stayed in the house you built? Who lives there now? How much did it cost?

The answers to these (and other) questions might help determine what is really going on up there, which is something I'd be interested in knowing if I was you, but then again, ignorance is bliss as they say.

Not that I see the relevence , but the house cost around 700k to complete . I stay there for up to a week each time home . Our room is locked while were away and is like we left it when we return .

Only the daughter lives in the house . The parents and son live in the sisters house next door . There could be a possibilty of them moving into our home when the older sister and husband and children move back out to the village in a couple of years . This hasn't been discussed yet , but I have no problem with it .

Tim ,

give me a couple of days to send you the PM .

Thanks ,

Jim .

[newyorkman]

I can only concur with Maizefarmer.

If she's lazy now, she will be in the future, a leopard can't change it's spots.

Husband killed in a road accident? Yeah, right!

I wish I had a tenner everytime I heard that story.

Get a PI on the job for your peace of mind.

I hope I'm wrong, for your sake.

All the very best for your future.

Sounds about right. There is a strong reason for her to stay in Bangkok. Find out what it is.

[Beavis and Butthead]

A good friend of mine built a 3 million baht house for his wife in the country. He is very proud of this place and says it is palacial. Just a few things though; he has never been to this house in spite of several requests to go see it. He said the mother lives there. On a side note, his wife married another farang while he was away working for 6 months. The other farang works abroad and spends only a few months a year in Thailand. My friend tried to finish this wife but caved in each time as if she has some sort of hex on him. The other husband is aware of my friend but he stays in the loop also. Other assets acquired by the wife incl a car, gold and BKK condo as well as numerous trips abroad but she prefers to live in BKK when her husbands are away. This is what I call a tangled mess but every word of it is true. She is in her late 20s.

Edited October 9, 2006 by Beavis and Butthead

[newyorkman]

Just take most replies with a pinch of salt and go with your own gut feeling.

The best piece of advice I have read on this thread, LISTEN to your gut and TRUST it.

Do what your gut tells you to do.

Cheers mate

Guts is nice, but they don't work in Thailand. Get the facts, one way or another. Don't business in Thailand for years, seen it all, especially older undesirable men made believe they are attractive by Thai girls when they primarily care about money and better life. I would never trust Thai girl or man without checking them out first. Get a PI if you have to - marriage is a big step.

[newyorkman]

Check out the story re. husband killed in car accident. One of my relationships in Thailand involved being told of huband's head being sliced off when his m/c went under an artic lorry. Dead of course, but later proved to be a lie!! Also, maybe she has a thai boyfriend in Bangkok. Does not want to leave. Only my thoughts. Good luck.

I know many Thai girls, most bargirls have Thai boyfriends. Poor farang never know. When he leaves, Thai boyfriend shows up. It would be sad, but they aren't my girlfriends. Seen this too many times over the years.

[newyorkman]

I'd bet that as soon as you tell your gf that you want to see these things she'll have a very strange reaction.I somehow doubt it . Of course she will need to know why I need them . I will just tell her it is required by the consulate to make our marriage legal . She has been nothing but honest as far as I know up til this point , so I see no need to worry .

And yes , she does want a legal marriage .

( I know that it won't be very honest of me , but as they say , "what can I do ?"

Cheers ,

Jim .

So your gf has been nothing but honest with you and you recipricate by lying to her about why you need to see her childrens birth certificates and husbands death certificate. You do realise these certificates could be faked, I would suggest you take blood tests of both the children and her for DNA sampling, also, you may need to see the remains of her husband as well and get those verified. Maybe you could fit her with some kind of electronic tagging device as well, perhaps a microchip?

I imagine dishonesty and foul play can be the only reason why your gf does not want to go back to the village, and I feel you need to put your gf under investigation because a bunch of strangers on the net have suggested you to do so.

And bargirls are known for their honesty? I wouldn't marry one if they paid me ten million baht in gold, not because I can make that much on my own, but because basic element of a relationship - trust - in not in the bargirl's vocabulary. Anyone trying to marry a bargirl must check her out. Better safe than sorry.

[newyorkman]

Thumchok,

you sound like you have your head screwed on, there are a lot of bitter and twisted people out there who like to spread the doom and gloom. The whole ex bargirl thing winds me up, we all have a past but that is like saying all scots are tight (total bol**ks!!) if we are completely honest 90% of the girls we are with have probably worked bar at some stage, needs must it doesn't automatically make them some kind of evil coniving witch,we are all different. You had the answer mate go with your gut feeling

Just check her out. It's easy. Take her phone, if she has one, and see who she called, who called her, sms messages inbox/outbox. You'll find everything you need. I did this to a few times and found out what I needed without a PI.

[dgoz]

A good friend of mine built a 3 million baht house for his wife in the country. He is very proud of this place and says it is palacial. Just a few things though; he has never been to this house in spite of several requests to go see it. He said the mother lives there. On a side note, his wife married another farang while he was away working for 6 months. The other farang works abroad and spends only a few months a year in Thailand. My friend tried to finish this wife but caved in each time as if she has some sort of hex on him. The other husband is aware of my friend but he stays in the loop also. Other assets acquired by the wife incl a car, gold and BKK condo as well as numerous trips abroad but she prefers to live in BKK when her husbands are away. This is what I call a tangled mess but every word of it is true. She is in her late 20s.

Who are these guys?

[newyorkman]

A good friend of mine built a 3 million baht house for his wife in the country. He is very proud of this place and says it is palacial. Just a few things though; he has never been to this house in spite of several requests to go see it. He said the mother lives there. On a side note, his wife married another farang while he was away working for 6 months. The other farang works abroad and spends only a few months a year in Thailand. My friend tried to finish this wife but caved in each time as if she has some sort of hex on him. The other husband is aware of my friend but he stays in the loop also. Other assets acquired by the wife incl a car, gold and BKK condo as well as numerous trips abroad but she prefers to live in BKK when her husbands are away. This is what I call a tangled mess but every word of it is true. She is in her late 20s.

That doesn't surprise me.

[newyorkman]

Just take most replies with a pinch of salt and go with your own gut feeling.

The best piece of advice I have read on this thread, LISTEN to your gut and TRUST it.

Do what your gut tells you to do.

Cheers mate

Guts is nice, but they don't work in Thailand. Get the facts, one way or another. Don't business in Thailand for years, seen it all, especially older undesirable men made believe they are attractive by Thai girls when they primarily care about money and better life. I would never trust Thai girl or man without checking them out first. Get a PI if you have to - marriage is a big step.

Correction: done business in Thailand for years.

[Beavis and Butthead]

A good friend of mine built a 3 million baht house for his wife in the country. He is very proud of this place and says it is palacial. Just a few things though; he has never been to this house in spite of several requests to go see it. He said the mother lives there. On a side note, his wife married another farang while he was away working for 6 months. The other farang works abroad and spends only a few months a year in Thailand. My friend tried to finish this wife but caved in each time as if she has some sort of hex on him. The other husband is aware of my friend but he stays in the loop also. Other assets acquired by the wife incl a car, gold and BKK condo as well as numerous trips abroad but she prefers to live in BKK when her husbands are away. This is what I call a tangled mess but every word of it is true. She is in her late 20s.

Who are these guys?

I know dude. The killer is that the guy is a highly educated person with a masters and a great job earning well over 100K Euro per year. He is totally onto all the tricks but he goes along for the ride

[Donz]

A good friend of mine built a 3 million baht house for his wife in the country. He is very proud of this place and says it is palacial. Just a few things though; he has never been to this house in spite of several requests to go see it. He said the mother lives there. On a side note, his wife married another farang while he was away working for 6 months. The other farang works abroad and spends only a few months a year in Thailand. My friend tried to finish this wife but caved in each time as if she has some sort of hex on him. The other husband is aware of my friend but he stays in the loop also. Other assets acquired by the wife incl a car, gold and BKK condo as well as numerous trips abroad but she prefers to live in BKK when her husbands are away. This is what I call a tangled mess but every word of it is true. She is in her late 20s.

Who are these guys?

I know dude. The killer is that the guy is a highly educated person with a masters and a great job earning well over 100K Euro per year. He is totally onto all the tricks but he goes along for the ride

Why do farangs seem to lose there marbles in thailand?

I would like to see what an avaerage IQ test is for farangs in Thailand. Its obvious very low

[udon]

Why do farangs seem to lose there marbles in thailand?

I would like to see what an avaerage IQ test is for farangs in Thailand. Its obvious very low

Maybe, but I'll bet they can all beat you at fingerpainting & "spilling".

[TRIPxCORE]

I would like to see what an avaerage IQ test is for farangs in Thailand. Its obvious very low

Starting with yours?????

[Donz]

You know Udon I cant bite back as being on my final warning, I have to be nice no matter what

But what im saying is true, alot of people seem to lose common sense over females, wouldnt you agree

[udon]

You know Udon I cant bite back as being on my final warning, I have to be nice no matter what

But what im saying is true, alot of people seem to lose common sense over females, wouldnt you agree

You have had 6 or 7 warnings, what does that say about your IQ?

[Donz]

You know Udon I cant bite back as being on my final warning, I have to be nice no matter what

But what im saying is true, alot of people seem to lose common sense over females, wouldnt you agree

You have had 6 or 7 warnings, what does that say about your IQ?

You tell me

[terry57]

You know Udon I cant bite back as being on my final warning, I have to be nice no matter what

But what im saying is true, alot of people seem to lose common sense over females, wouldnt you agree

You have had 6 or 7 warnings, what does that say about your IQ?

udon,

how would you know how many warnings donz has had.?

you are no moderator so i will assume you are summarizing. ?

i ask you this question,

what # warning are you on ubon. ?

[udon]

MYOB.

[Totster]

Stop the flaming now.

Or the topic gets closed.

totster

[terry57]

this post is an another example of a punter who has way to much money and way to little common sense.

its proves to me once again that intelligence and common sense are light years away from each other.

cheers punters.

ps. no wonder some thai females take advantage of farang men as they make it near on impossible not to.