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Posted

Hi there guys (deep breath) I got another one for ya.

So my wife said she wanted some time to think about our relationship because we have been having some problems.

She said that she is going to spend some time at a Buddhist temple in Bangkok for a few weeks. I was ok with that whatever makes you happy.

It has now been 2 months and counting. I checked with her family and she has not been back to look after her son or take care of anything.

I find this to be extremely strange not knocking anyone's beliefs but what about your family? What about your son?

I find this to be a kind of escapism because she doesn't want to deal with her problems.

I can't imagine this can be part of any kind of healthy relationship. What husband would be okay with this?

Anyway there could be much more going on here.

She could be cheating on me but I don't get the idea that money is coming from somewhere else since her son and family are scraping by.

I would be willing to help my wife but I would like some respect in return she needs to stay with me not abandon me for months on end.

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Posted

Quote: Anyway there could be much more going on here.

considering I don`t know you or your wife and my powers of telepathy and clairvoyance have been below par this week, I have no idea.

Posted

Maybe she has made a wise choice.

"Respect" is something which should be earned not demanded or expected.

Seems like you have prejudged the facts without even knowing anything about the facts!

Posted

This is right out of the Hidden Boyfriend Playbook.........or back 'working' if that was ever the case......If you cant at least visit her to verify. I would bet your being played. Move on. Life is to short to spend it with a person who doesnt want to be with you. I hope I am wrong. Good luck.

Posted

At this time my wife and I are taking care of a lovely 4-year old Thai girl whose mother left some 4 months ago. Just bugged out, no forwarding address etc. The father is a good dude but has to work and the child is a sort-of niece (extended Thai family). My wife is a good Buddhist, goes to the occasional 2-3 weeks at a Buddhist retreat for a head-cleaning, benefits both her and me, but has always come back refreshed. Never even close to a month and always with full notice to me and others in family.

Posted

No way to give adviceonthis without full disclosure.....It sounds like there was a lot going on and not all good.....What we think of as workable situations can be overwhelming for a Thai.....

2 months is a LONG time without contact....

Possible she's at your inlaws amd they are saying she's not?

I wouldn't be able to sit on my hands and wait beyond a week or so.....What have you been doing for 2 months? If you're on the suds/clubbing/partying/playing you've supplied your own answer to the why......If not → still 2 sides to every story......

Without communication 2 months would be 2 months too long for me....

File a missing persons report? Going to the temple "a temple in BKK" is a huge vacuum/nebulous place to be/get lost/not want to be found in.....

Posted

Sorry to say Bud but its over 2 months is a long time. My girlfriend sometimes stays at temple for 2 days or 3 days and usually sends me a photo of herself at the temple

But 2 months she has either become a monk or has a new bofriend

Posted

Thais do not like to confront things ...... this may be her way of saying "it's over"

If she is not spending time with you, you can know that she is not spending time with you.

Not really complicated.

Is it worth it to you to find out why?

Then go see her. Fix the things you can fix, together change the things you can change, and then accept those things you cannot change, so you can be happy with the situation.

If it is not worth it to you, then accept the situation and change your opinion about what she is doing. Accept it. Let it go. Blame no one.

Try this... you will be surprised how freeing it is.

Maybe this is exactly what she is doing in the temple, if in fact that is where she is.

Lastly:

my experience with Thai females running away to go to a temple include several friends / acquaintances of educated, middle class or upper class women who did this because they were sick. cancer. or something like that. but they were very up front about it. it was not something to hide. I have never seen it, but I could see a Thai woman running away to the temple to figure out if she wants to terminate a pregnancy. Or get to the point where it is no longer a choice. Either consciously or subconsciously. And then return at 6 or 7 months and start preparing for the baby.

Acceptance also works with this last scenario as well ;)

Posted

I know what your saying,,,

I remember once coming to Thailand to meet up with a lady i was seeing,,

it was all planned, my visit, my arrival time where and what we would be doing,,

when i arrived i went to her village and she was gone,, her best friend told me

she went to the temple and she will be there for 2 months,, i was also told she

had shaved her head, all dressed in white and there she was,, OK so off i go

travelling and meeting other friends,, some time later i get a call from her,,

hello i am home,, so i get on the bus and do a bee line to her place,, when i get

there yes the head is shaved,, all dressed in white and off we go again,,,

You figure,,, i can't,,, i just go with the flow, i don't read too much into it.

Posted

When myself and "she who must be obeyed" are around each other too much and start to get on each other's nerves....I tell her to go and take up a job for a few months....seems like the ideal solution and profitable for both of us.

Posted

Well if you can not communicate with each other and it is not your Son, consider cutting your loses and move on !

My wife goes twice a year for a week or two, but she never forgets where the funds come from. If your wife is not asking for support, I would be worried, but move on !

Posted

Maybe she has made a wise choice.

"Respect" is something which should be earned not demanded or expected.

huh ? dumped kid on family , walked away from husband while she "finds" herself ? singer every one should demand respect , if we all did so and received it there would not be flighty dumb as a box of rocks people willing to run away from their problems . its time the monks did there own laundry .................

Posted

2 months gone and no communication, pretty much says it all.

yea and then some .....................

Posted

You beleive in flying saucers but couldn't see this one coming.... Ofc shes with another guy. Naive is what you are. And yes. Family knows but i guess shes getting financed from both her lovers. More likely shes in Pattaya or some place

Its high season now you know...

Best of luck to you. Why dont you visit her?

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