Into the New Year and Beyond

[gerryBScot]

First of all a very happy New Year to all. I never thought I would survive a Christmas or New Year without getting drunk but in my first year of sobriety I went to a gig in Surrey, south of London, on New Year's Eve into Ne'erday proper, which featured some of the biggest names in rock music who also happened to be recovering alcoholics. I was in a venue without about 1500 others and as well as enjoying the music and revelry we were all celebrating being sober for a new year. Let me assure you a life without alcohol is a real possibility if you want it.

A new year triggers New Year's resolutions : quit drinking, quit smoking, lose weight, get fit etc. Personally I tried giving up most of them at New Year but I never had a hope in hell of succeeding. It was only when I was desperate enough to phone AA as a starting point that things began to get better with regard to my relationship with alcohol.

For those who have survived the festive period in sobriety so far for the first time, be wise to the fact that the month of January is a notorious graveyard for many drunks. Having white-knuckled the festivities and thereafter being confronted with the January blues, many of us succumb. The general experience of most of us is that when we go back out it is much much worse and it catches up with us in about 24 hours, meaning we are quickly back to square one. I have never heard anyone in AA who went back out for further research, come back and say it was better and that they really enjoyed themselves. Au contraire...

The solution: take it one day at a time, get to a meeting and don't take the first drink. It's as easy and as difficult as that. Find like-minded people to talk with.

If you can't get to a real meeting there are online meetings. Go to http://www.aaonlinemeeting.net for details of how to join an AA meeting through Skype. A marathon meeting will be starting on New Years Eve and continuing right through the night into New Years Day. You do not need to be alone.

Whatever, good luck to all with their continued sobriety through the New Year celebration and into 2016 one day at a time.

Edited December 31, 2015 by gerryBScot

[thaiduncankk]

Everyone to their own.

I enjoy a drink, usually go out twice a week to meet up with good friends, and will carry on doing so.

While I respect your choice, I do not see why people should preach to others.

Most 'reformed drinkers' lost control of their drinking, I have not, and neither have my friends.

Enjoy your new choice of sobriety, but let others decide for themselves.

[phitsanulokjohn]

Happy new year to you also and congratulations,keep up the good work.Alcohol is at best just about ok,but the key word is "Moderation".If one cannot drink moderately then it's best left alone.At worst it's the cause of deaths,accidents&the ruination of families.

Edited January 1, 2016 by phitsanulokjohn

[Richie23]

Everyone to their own.

I enjoy a drink, usually go out twice a week to meet up with good friends, and will carry on doing so.

While I respect your choice, I do not see why people should preach to others.

Most 'reformed drinkers' lost control of their drinking, I have not, and neither have my friends.

Enjoy your new choice of sobriety, but let others decide for themselves.

How was the OP preaching to anyone else? I read it as a personal story and a message to others in a similar boat

[onni4me]

I enjoy a drink, usually go out twice a week to meet up with good friends, and will carry on doing so.

While I respect your choice, I do not see why people should preach to others.

Most 'reformed drinkers' lost control of their drinking, I have not, and neither have my friends.

Enjoy your new choice of sobriety, but let others decide for themselves.

You and an alcoholic differ in the respect that you can control your substance use. An alcoholic can't. That said, it is not out of the question to become an alcoholic at some stage. It is a condition that develops slowly. Meaning that you have to drink years before suddenly you can't control it anymore. If you think you are safe and never will have problems, okay. I personally don't see any preaching if someone tells about his positive experience being sober.

I had one small brandy with coffee over New Year. We had nice dinner with family and since most of them don't drink at all, it was not on agenda to have booze in the house and we had fun in other ways.

I have been heavy drinker in the past and it finally caught up with my health and relationship couple of years ago. I stopped completely for awhile and since then been having 3-5 times a year a party or something that I drunk more than a couple. It was strange at first since been 20+ years of drunken weekends and not significant change at first but after a year or so I really feel much better and optimistic about life. It also has improved my relationship since the better half does not drink at all. So now we do more stuff together and have power to do it also.

I salute everyone who has better doing than being in drunken stupor all the time. Happy New Year!

[Lopchan]

Everyone to their own.

I enjoy a drink, usually go out twice a week to meet up with good friends, and will carry on doing so.

While I respect your choice, I do not see why people should preach to others.

Most 'reformed drinkers' lost control of their drinking, I have not, and neither have my friends.

Enjoy your new choice of sobriety, but let others decide for themselves.

First of all Happy New Year to everyone and congratulations to Gerry. I've been alcohol free since 9:45pm 03-August 2013 and a happier person for it..

Thaiduncan, I fail to see where he was preaching, he simply stated that there were options out there and voiced his happiness being dry. The fact you used inverted commas around the words reformed drinkers, suggests you are showing disdain for people who made the choice.

BTW in my drinking days, I used to be sure I hadn't lost control of it either. Not saying you have, just saying.

It's sort of like when someone is p3ssed to the eyeballs and insists..."No, I'm not drunk"

Edited January 1, 2016 by Lopchan

[thaiduncankk]

Fair play to you all.

I was in the bar industry for 40 years, including 10 years here with a bar.

Did I drink too much ? Yes, in fact I nearly lost everything through it, but to keep going I had to mix with people, which most often meant drinking with them.

I got out a year ago, and decided a change of lifestyle was needed.

Now I usually go out twice a week, and I enjoy it more, something to look forward to.

My only problem, as most drinkers will agree, is that as we get older, the worse the hangover the next day !

[soc]

l gave up alcohol about a year ago.

Lost a lot of weight & did feel better for it.

But on a recent trip to Bangkok, l one night got the urge for a nice cold beer.

That turned into 2 beers before l slept.

What a momentous hangover(or "overhang"as my filipina ex-wife would call it!)l had in the morning & it lasted all day.

Gone straight off the grog again & l'm staying off it!

Trouble is, that l do love the taste of most beers.

[gerryBScot]

Everyone to their own.

I enjoy a drink, usually go out twice a week to meet up with good friends, and will carry on doing so.

While I respect your choice, I do not see why people should preach to others.

Most 'reformed drinkers' lost control of their drinking, I have not, and neither have my friends.

Enjoy your new choice of sobriety, but let others decide for themselves.

Hey Duncan I want to assure you I am the last person in the world who would seek to interfere with your enjoyment of a few drinks with your friends.

Preaching is the last thing I wish to do, so apologies if that's how I sound. If I am targeting anyone it is the fair few people, myself included, who as you rightly say have 'lost control of their drinking' but who remain steadfast in their commitment to it. I am not a reformed drinker! I am an alcoholic and reform was not an option. This took me thirty years of drinking to accept and honestly it was insanity from the beginning and stayed that way until I signed off.

Have a great New Year and I hope 2016 is a memorable year for you and yours.

[williet98248]

There were times in my 20s, 30s and forties when I drank quite a bit. Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights were for drinking and partying. Sunday for recovery and back to work on Monday. In my early 40s I was walking down the street and this woman came up to me, said, "Hey Bill, that was a great party Saturday night, you sure were a lot of fun!" I couldn't recall this woman and had no idea who she was. Duh. I pretty much stopped drinking right there and then. I still have a beer or two a week with a meal, but no hard liquor and rarely a glass of wine which usually gives me a headache. It is great not to have to suffer a hangover. Congratulations to those people who can kick the alcohol. And congratulations to those imbibers who can drink responsibly.

[dotpoom]

Many congradulations and may it continue on, one day at a time. For me, after 30 years of trying, I celebrated my 14th year of sobriety last October. Life has just got better and better since I put my last empty glass down on the counter. It has surely given me a life beyond my wildest dreams. How true they were when the AA members in those early years told me that I don't ever NEED to drink again. I honestly didn't think I could ever live life without the crutch of Alcohol...Not realizing that it was the same Alcohol that had been destroying my life, not my problems, without the Alcohol I would not have had them in the first place. Life is still getting better and better for me because each day realize more and more what a truely wonderful gift has been given me by a Power greater than myself I believe.....the gift of Sobriety. God Bless you and I pray you hold on to your precious gift for always.

[onni4me]

I had withdrawal symptoms at first. My body was used to getting drink in the system and it took months before I actually started to see the benefits. These include better stamina, good sleep and no hangovers. My overall feeling is much better. Lost some weight also and can now fit to my old jeans...savings allover...LOL

Last time I had a night out I had 5 pints of lager and had a hangover next day! So much the same as the poster above. When I was at it 15 pints was quite the norm...

I recommend abstinence to all just to observe how it goes without the liqueur. Not just for alcoholics. Many don't even notice how much they actually drink before they have to stay away from it.

Anyway, hope the year will bring all the best whoever and whatever you are. Cheers!

Edited January 1, 2016 by onni4me

[fekman]

Everyone to their own.

I enjoy a drink, usually go out twice a week to meet up with good friends, and will carry on doing so.

While I respect your choice, I do not see why people should preach to others.

Most 'reformed drinkers' lost control of their drinking, I have not, and neither have my friends.

Enjoy your new choice of sobriety, but let others decide for themselves.

How was the OP preaching to anyone else? I read it as a personal story and a message to others in a similar boat

It's like a long, uninvited story and message about a random subject. I won't come on here and tell everyone a long, boring story about how I restored a 63 corvette and YOU can too if you put your mind to it.

Good luck OP on your sobriety.

[fekman]

There were times in my 20s, 30s and forties when I drank quite a bit. Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights were for drinking and partying. Sunday for recovery and back to work on Monday. In my early 40s I was walking down the street and this woman came up to me, said, "Hey Bill, that was a great party Saturday night, you sure were a lot of fun!" I couldn't recall this woman and had no idea who she was. Duh. I pretty much stopped drinking right there and then. I still have a beer or two a week with a meal, but no hard liquor and rarely a glass of wine which usually gives me a headache. It is great not to have to suffer a hangover. Congratulations to those people who can kick the alcohol. And congratulations to those imbibers who can drink responsibly.

My problem is I SLAM water all night while drinking, so I never get a hangover. A bottle of water for each big beer, no spirits. Maybe I should quit the water so I can get hangovers and start to hate alcohol!

[mcfish]

I quit drinking about a year ago and it was the most boring day of my life

Sent from my SC-01D using Tapatalk

[lanng khao]

I knew it was time to pack in drinking when I started loosing arguments with inanimate objects..

[soc]

Everyone to their own.

I enjoy a drink, usually go out twice a week to meet up with good friends, and will carry on doing so.

While I respect your choice, I do not see why people should preach to others.

Most 'reformed drinkers' lost control of their drinking, I have not, and neither have my friends.

Enjoy your new choice of sobriety, but let others decide for themselves.

How was the OP preaching to anyone else? I read it as a personal story and a message to others in a similar boat

It's like a long, uninvited story and message about a random subject. I won't come on here and tell everyone a long, boring story about how I restored a 63 corvette and YOU can too if you put your mind to it.

Good luck OP on your sobriety.

Some of us might like to hear how you restored a 63 corvette.

l always wanted a 64 or 65 Pontiac Parisienne

Never had one though.

[smotherb]

Everyone to their own.

I enjoy a drink, usually go out twice a week to meet up with good friends, and will carry on doing so.

While I respect your choice, I do not see why people should preach to others.

Most 'reformed drinkers' lost control of their drinking, I have not, and neither have my friends.

Enjoy your new choice of sobriety, but let others decide for themselves.

How was the OP preaching to anyone else? I read it as a personal story and a message to others in a similar boat

You have to be kidding. I thought it was an ad for AA.

[thaiduncankk]

Everyone to their own.

I enjoy a drink, usually go out twice a week to meet up with good friends, and will carry on doing so.

While I respect your choice, I do not see why people should preach to others.

Most 'reformed drinkers' lost control of their drinking, I have not, and neither have my friends.

Enjoy your new choice of sobriety, but let others decide for themselves.

How was the OP preaching to anyone else? I read it as a personal story and a message to others in a similar boat

You have to be kidding. I thought it was an ad for AA.

Correct, if it does not affect anyone else, why talk about it ?

Their problems are theirs, not ours

Deal with it.

[houlicha]

The OP was sharing his experience strength and hope, and I appreciated it. Not everybody needs it, feel free to move on to the next topic, and cheers. For those of us who do, it's encouragement, and for a few it could even be a life saver.

[williet98248]

There were times in my 20s, 30s and forties when I drank quite a bit. Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights were for drinking and partying. Sunday for recovery and back to work on Monday. In my early 40s I was walking down the street and this woman came up to me, said, "Hey Bill, that was a great party Saturday night, you sure were a lot of fun!" I couldn't recall this woman and had no idea who she was. Duh. I pretty much stopped drinking right there and then. I still have a beer or two a week with a meal, but no hard liquor and rarely a glass of wine which usually gives me a headache. It is great not to have to suffer a hangover. Congratulations to those people who can kick the alcohol. And congratulations to those imbibers who can drink responsibly.

My problem is I SLAM water all night while drinking, so I never get a hangover. A bottle of water for each big beer, no spirits. Maybe I should quit the water so I can get hangovers and start to hate alcohol!

Might work for you. Dunno. I never drank water with beer. I rarely could drink enough beer to have a hangover. Back in my other life I enjoyed a pint or two of 'real' beer, an ale or pilsener from a craft brewery. Never liked the mass produced lagers so never became a big beer drinker. When I was a drinker of spirits I drank no mixed drinks, only Tequila and Scotch shots and always with a water back. Sugar in the mix is a big contributor to the hangover. I think I just grew out of the drinking and being healthy and fit became more important than sitting around drinking and becoming more stupid as the drinking progressed. At age 73 I am healthier and fitter than ever. Down by 18 pounds from a few years ago. Due to changes in the diet and a structured exercise routine. Any middle aged or even elderly man interested in fitness and health would do well to get a copy of Dr Jefferey Life's book "The Life Plan'.

[louse1953]

Fair play to you all.

I was in the bar industry for 40 years, including 10 years here with a bar.

Did I drink too much ? Yes, in fact I nearly lost everything through it, but to keep going I had to mix with people, which most often meant drinking with them.

I got out a year ago, and decided a change of lifestyle was needed.

Now I usually go out twice a week, and I enjoy it more, something to look forward to.

My only problem, as most drinkers will agree, is that as we get older, the worse the hangover the next day !

That's why i like ice in my beer now.

[northernphil]

I knew it was time to pack in drinking when I started loosing arguments with inanimate objects..

Thanks for that lanng khao. Made me smile , why I here you say (possibly) . My now son in law about 12 years ago went through the town of Dorking taking in as many pubs as we could as it was his stag night., the idea being to half 'arf a pint in all the pubs in the town. The best for ale would get a final visit on the return trip up the High Street.

He left me outside the Bull's Head , it seemed I came out into the cold and had a lamp post walk into me and I was apologizing to it , Funny thing is I don't remember.

[onni4me]

I quit drinking about a year ago and it was the most boring day of my life

Quitting drinking, losing weight, ending smoking...all pretty boring? Right?

Same could be said about trying to achieve goals in professional life or educating ones family or weeding the garden. As boring and time taking and costly it can be the reality is that without effort there are no rewards.

I am a good example of a lazy guy that leaves thing until 'later'. That later mind be when I am at doctor's office having high blood pressure, diabetes, kidney and liver damage and nothing can be done at that stage. Too many people take steps too late. No pill will give you back your health when it is gone.

After quitting drinking - or strongly limiting it - my finances, health, personal life and many other aspects have been improved greatly. That is enough rewards for me and I believe that I haven't seen everything yet. Day by day my decision to improve the quality of my life seems to bring new interesting horizons.

Only thing that I do not condone in the OP's writing is this 'God aspect'. Many place the need for alcohol with another dependency. It can be overly religious beliefs or holier-than-thou preaching to others. It sometimes is replacing one thing with another. My own approach is more of a holistic one. I push myself trying new things that I once commented saying something like: "Couldn't care less!". The reason was that I was either too drunk or hangover to have any power to engage myself.

I have found out that when one starts to live his life, the rewards follow. Listen to yourselves. You are the best person to know what you want and fancy.

[thaiduncankk]

I quit drinking about a year ago and it was the most boring day of my life

Quitting drinking, losing weight, ending smoking...all pretty boring? Right?

Same could be said about trying to achieve goals in professional life or educating ones family or weeding the garden. As boring and time taking and costly it can be the reality is that without effort there are no rewards.

I am a good example of a lazy guy that leaves thing until 'later'. That later mind be when I am at doctor's office having high blood pressure, diabetes, kidney and liver damage and nothing can be done at that stage. Too many people take steps too late. No pill will give you back your health when it is gone.

After quitting drinking - or strongly limiting it - my finances, health, personal life and many other aspects have been improved greatly. That is enough rewards for me and I believe that I haven't seen everything yet. Day by day my decision to improve the quality of my life seems to bring new interesting horizons.

Only thing that I do not condone in the OP's writing is this 'God aspect'. Many place the need for alcohol with another dependency. It can be overly religious beliefs or holier-than-thou preaching to others. It sometimes is replacing one thing with another. My own approach is more of a holistic one. I push myself trying new things that I once commented saying something like: "Couldn't care less!". The reason was that I was either too drunk or hangover to have any power to engage myself.

I have found out that when one starts to live his life, the rewards follow. Listen to yourselves. You are the best person to know what you want and fancy.

I am not sure people's social lives improve.

Having been in the industry most of my life, I found that most people who packed in, same as smoking, then look at it as an evil. Nothing worse than having a good laugh in a bar with some friends, only to be told by a reformed drinker, how bad alcohol is for you.

I have one life, when it is gone, it is gone. I have enjoyed 55 years so far. I choose to live my life the way I enjoy it.

When my time is up, my friends will be saying 'at least he enjoyed himself'.

[gerryBScot]

Only thing that I do not condone in the OP's writing is this 'God aspect'.

Onni I did not utter the 'G' word so you don't know what I think about God and whether or not I condone or otherwise!!!! The 'G' word in AA is a red herring which keeps people out of AA. No one has ever told me in AA that I need to go to church, no one. A lot of people have said I need to find a power of my own understanding with the sole requirement that it is greater than me, a higher power. Many people choose to call that power God or Higher Power but it can equally be a bottle of brown sauce with HP on it or any other embodiment physical otherwise including GOD, Group Of Drunks, so long as you believe it is more powerful than you. The Christian God, the Moslem Allah, the Buddhist Buddha, the Atheist Belief and that of the Agnostic too or alternatively none at can all be transformed by AA spirituality which is quite distinct from the Judaeo-Christian God. AS they say in AA, religion is for those not the way to hell, spirituality is for those on the way back.That's it. As a result of this, many reach the conclusion that AA is a religious organisation, fearful of encountering nuns, priests, rosary beads and weeping effigies and stay away from meetings and sadly a fair few of those pay the ultimate price. Where AA is revivalist is the sheer zest and enthusiasm of the people in it who have got their lives back.

brown_3154095b.jpg

[onni4me]

Yes. I was more trying to pint out that it all starts from the will to change ones habits and some sort of a support is often needed. Not necessarily supernatural. I got support from my family.

The days before I made any decision - I wanted to but was scared - I was really questioning myself whether or not I was ready and had the power to do the lifestyle change. I mean, I was overweight, verging to become a drunk, and so on. So I was AFRAID to jump to the unknown. Some here seem to have their drinking under control and may say that it is just willpower that we need to decide but I say that depending the person it can be a tricky road.

If someone gets strength from his or hers belief, I see that as just as good as any other way. What I am not happy with is someone suggesting I need God or something else to replace my addiction. I have no experience about AA so I can't comment on their practices. I have things I believe in but the thing that carried me over the difficulties was that I didn't want to let down my family. I did it as much to them as myself.

What comes to DuncanKK's comment that a reformed alcoholic (whatever that means) is someone spoiling other people's fun, I have not encountered such or acted that way myself. I had a nice trip to Bangkok to meet and greet Thai friends and we had a river cruise with food and drink available. I did not drink and most Thais didn't either. Those who did I gladly let them enjoy themselves. It is not something I miss and not something I want to deny from others. I don't expect the rest of the world suddenly change their ways. And since I don't drink there is very little chance you meet me in a bar.

[thaiduncankk]

I did not suggest that anyone spoils anyone's fun.

We are all adults, and we all know the dangers of alcohol. I just find it boring when someone who had to pack it in goes on and on about it.

It is up to everyone to make their own choice, nobody forces it down your throat.

When I go out, I choose to drink, and I always enjoy my evening.

[lanng khao]

It's true alcohol does kill, but how many people are born because of it?

[pedro01]

Everyone to their own.

I enjoy a drink, usually go out twice a week to meet up with good friends, and will carry on doing so.

While I respect your choice, I do not see why people should preach to others.

Most 'reformed drinkers' lost control of their drinking, I have not, and neither have my friends.

Enjoy your new choice of sobriety, but let others decide for themselves.

How was the OP preaching to anyone else? I read it as a personal story and a message to others in a similar boat

You have to be kidding. I thought it was an ad for AA.

Correct, if it does not affect anyone else, why talk about it ?

Their problems are theirs, not ours

Deal with it.

Well, there is a small issue.

AA programs you to beleive you have a permanent problem, that is beyond your control. That you will forever be just one day away from a total relapse.

That theory has been debunked, which in itself would not be an issue where it not for the psychological impact it has on people that buy into it.

In effect, there is no exit from AA, you are never done. The problem is never resolved.

When people report they had drinking issues that went back to light drinking after a period of abstinence, AA disciples will say "well you weren't a real alcoholic". A disease they say, that you can only diagnose yourself and for which there is no cure.

Edited January 5, 2016 by pedro01