Avoiding Girls

[pnustedt]

Call me hopeless

Hopeless - check out your own signature

[Bluecat]

Call me hopeless

Hopeless - check out your own signature

Do as I say, not as I do,...

[thomasjojo]

dont givem your phone number either.

and. as ure wife say: tell her nothing! say only No.

[FarangYaayYaaw]

I've been travelling for my work all my life. I asked this question to see what kinds of ideas people would come up with that I may have not thought of. Here's a summary of what I've heard. Thanks to people who tried to be helpful or funny. As for those who just like to be nasty - I guess everybody need a hobby!.

Some helpful comments:

1 - Work out, 6 months is a good amount of time to get in shape.

2 - Teach English to monks at a wat. I like hanging out with monks - I do a lot of sitting with Theravada Buddhists groups in the states. Plus I feel less bald at a wat.

3 - Join the Siam society. I would not have thought of this on my own - and you even gave directions. Thanks.

5 - Get serious about photography. Read.

6 - Study Thai. Actually, studying Thai is my hobby and I'm excited about getting a tutor again. Maybe I'll try to pass the 6th grade test.

4 - If you do give in, make sure you don't go with the same girl more than once, wear a condom, don't talk about it, don't give out your telephone number, etc.

Not helpful comments:

1 - Do what you do at home while away in Thailand: At home I play wiht the dogs and my son. Do yard work, and fix the house, visit friends, surf, make love to my wife. How exactly do I do these things in Bangkok?

2 - Temptations are everywhere: No they aren't. I'm an average looking 49 year old guy who lives in Hawaii. There is very little chance I'd be able to have sex with the women I'm attracted to here for love or money! And if I did, I'd get busted for sure. No temptatoins for me here.

3 - If you loved your wife there would be no temptations (implying that I don't love my wife.) I already said I DO love my wife and there WILL be temptaions - no need to call me a liar because I don't feel as you do. I've been with my wife 15 years, and sometimes I fantasize. I'm not some sort of evil deviate, just a normal man who isn't afraid to be honest. My hat is off to ou guys who never feel these urges, but I don't understand the hostility to those of us who do.

[Jeepz]

FarangYawYaw~

Sounds like you've got a pretty good handle on it. There are always a cadre of moralizers that want to make everyone toe the mark and cast stones if any of us mention that we are human, not saints in waiting.

I feel for your dilemma. Six months is a fairly long time to go without, but the bottom line is you. If your relationship with wife and more importantly, your view of yourself, is based on honesty, then getting a bit of stray while overseas will present a bit of rub on the conscience. If you are fairly honest, but occasionally indulge the white lie to keep things on an even keel, then it will probably be less of a rub. It pretty much depends on the relationship you have with that guy you see in the mirror each morning.

Jeepz

[Nam Kao]

I'll give him 3 days before he is in sack

[FarangYaayYaaw]

I'll give him 3 days before he is in sack

No, not 3 days. I'll make up my mind if I'm going to commit adultery before I get on the plane. If I am, it will be the first night. Why wait? If not, I won't at all. I'm pretty solid once I've made up my mind.

On the other hand, if Ms. Songkran propositions me while I'm enjoying a plate of vegetarian noodles at the Mah Boon Krong food court, well, all bets are off!

[NedKelly]

Well champ, dont forget to keep us posted on how your 'temptation test' went ??

[Jeepz]

I don't think there is much question about it, actually. While definitions vary, a horny white guy in a sea of opportunity is pretty close to a "sure thing".

Jeepz

[singer]

I'm probably going to spend 4 - 6 months alone in Bangkok soon doing some work. I'm thinking I'd like to avoid the girls - some vague moral guilt pangs (even though my wife says it's OK if I follow some rules - God, I'm a fool !)

I know Bangkok very well - have lived there for many years. But in the past, I was either with my wife, or was not yet married. Anyway, there is NO WAY I can remain good and frequent bars, discoes, etc. where the girls are. I've been thinking that I'll probably find Bangkok very boring under these circumstances.

The movie selection sucks, the museums suck, it'll be hot as ######, I am not a big shopper, there just doesn't seem to be much to do (besides eat which I DO enjoy doing there) if you avoid the girls.

In case anyone is interested, here are my wife's rules:

1 - don't get any diseases

2 - don't get anybody pregnant

3 - don't fall in love

4 - don't spend too much money

5 - "never -as long as you live - tell me about it, even if I ask you and say it's OK"

It's this last rule that has me scared. I'm not a very good liar - especially to her

Any ideas?

Here is some advice. When you are away she will know you are up to something and if she is good looking she will be out on the town with her mates and get laid.

Thats how woman think and act . And I dont blame her.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

I'll give him 3 days before he is in sack

No, not 3 days. I'll make up my mind if I'm going to commit adultery before I get on the plane. If I am, it will be the first night. Why wait? If not, I won't at all. I'm pretty solid once I've made up my mind.

On the other hand, if Ms. Songkran propositions me while I'm enjoying a plate of vegetarian noodles at the Mah Boon Krong food court, well, all bets are off!

He'll go for a quickie in a secluded corner of MBK. Day 1 in between those noodles.

[FarangYaayYaaw]

I don't think there is much question about it, actually. While definitions vary, a horny white guy in a sea of opportunity is pretty close to a "sure thing".

Jeepz

who said I'm white?

[taxexile]

who said I'm white?

you did.
farang.

[Kringle]

Taxexile, Maybe he just doesn't know what farang means.

[mbkudu]

who said I'm white?

you did.
farang.
     Badda Bing!

[FarangYaayYaaw]

Taxexile, Maybe he just doesn't know what farang means.

It actually means Frenchman, but my wife calls black people from Amreica "Farang dam"

[Bluecat]

but my wife calls black people from America "Farang dam"

and the white ones "Farang dumb"

[FarangYaayYaaw]

but my wife calls black people from America "Farang dam"

and the white ones "Farang dumb"

Only me!

[mbkudu]

Taxexile, Maybe he just doesn't know what farang means. 

It actually means Frenchman, but my wife calls black people from Amreica "Farang dam"

The word for Frenchman is: Farangset. Farang is a generic term for a caucasian

'looking' person. In my opinion Thais use it very loosly and don't mean it to be derogatory, like many foreigers think it to be.

[FarangYaayYaaw]

The word for Frenchman is: Farangset. Farang is a generic term for a caucasian

'looking' person. In my opinion Thais use it very loosly and don't mean it to be derogatory, like many foreigers think it to be.

I always thought Farangset meant French, and khon Farangset meant French person, and Farang was just short for that. When other white people started showing up they just called them all Farang (Thais seem to have a slight alergy to being too precise.) Any Thai linguists out there?

I've never thought of Farang as a derogatory term, but living here in Hawaii, when someone calls me a Haole I get a little suspicious.

[taxexile]

farang means a white person,westerner or a guava plant...ฝรั่ง

farangset means france or french....ฝรั่งเศส

[Rhys]

Spend sometime upcountry helping in an NGO program.. give your time, not money...AS for BKK...you have already done it. The making merit THANG does not do it for you.. so... do some exercise... play tennis, join a fitness club, swim,...yes you can do those things in BKK..and you'll meet some interesting people.

Your night wandering patrols on Sukhumvit.. need to stop, your checking out Siam Center, need to be short. and you need to stop jeeping sow..

Then.. dealing with the alone factor is part of it... DEAL with IT..

Red Flags are posted at home.. deal with that as well..

Best wishes mate

[FarangYaayYaaw]

farang means a white person,westerner or a guava plant...ฝรั่ง

farangset means france or french....ฝรั่งเศส

I know what Farang means. I just thought I'd point out where it came from incase somebody might be interested.

[Guest IT Manager]

Just curious,

so what are your rules for your wife, so she can indulge in a lover as well while you are away?

Weird thing is Gisele, being a woman, she won't get bored quite as easily and is likely more than capable of making her own entertainment, since we she won't be required to:

• Pick up after him
  
• Cook for him
  
• Entertain him
  
• Make him feel like a man
  
• Find his tie/socks/shoes/etc
  
• Remember where he left whatever he loses
  
• Remember his mothers birthday
  
• Make his coffee
  
• Explain his work absences.
  

You get the picture I'm sure..

[FarangYaayYaaw]

Just curious,

so what are your rules for your wife, so she can indulge in a lover as well while you are away?

Weird thing is Gisele, being a woman, she won't get bored quite as easily and is likely more than capable of making her own entertainment, since we she won't be required to:

• Pick up after him
  
• Cook for him
  
• Entertain him
  
• Make him feel like a man
  
• Find his tie/socks/shoes/etc
  
• Remember where he left whatever he loses
  
• Remember his mothers birthday
  
• Make his coffee
  
• Explain his work absences.
  

You get the picture I'm sure..

I think you're talking about me, and assuming a bunch of stuff. So, I'll respond.

My wife started a business about 3 years ago selling stuff to toruists at 4 outdoor markets per week here in Hawaii. She did this because at the ripe old age of 40 she decided she was obliged to buy some land and build her mother a house in Thailand.

She has been ever since missing-in-action. She is either working or sleeping. One of the reasons I want to take this job in Bangkok is that I want to:

Stop pcking up after her and my son

Stop cooking for my son (she still cooks for herself)

Find someone to Entertain me!

Find someone to make me feel like a man

Buy some really shitty socks (why can't you get good socks in Bangkok?)

Be in Thailand for her mother's birthday (my mother's been dead for years - but I have to remind my wife of our son's birthday!)

Buy coffee withoutg driving 10 miles

Get some work (I'm currently unemployed)

[Bluecat]

Get some work (I'm currently unemployed)

Your wife is Thai, she works (quite hard if I well understood) in Hawai and hence has no time to take care of you.

In the meantime, you are American, unemployed, taking care of the house and complaining about the fact that your wife is working,...

And now, to feel like a man again, you want to go to Thailand to find work (in Thailand, not in Hawai of course, only Thai people can find work in Hawai,...)

Jeez, the ladies must sure LOVE you,...

Am I missing something here?

[mbkudu]

farang means a white person,westerner or a guava plant...ฝรั่ง

farangset means france or french....ฝรั่งเศส

One thing to note; if you go to Issan, the word 'Baakseeda' will be heard. This is the equivalent of Farang.

[mbkudu]

Get some work (I'm currently unemployed)

Your wife is Thai, she works (quite hard if I weel understood) in Hawai and hence has no time to take care of you.

In the meantime, you are American, unemployed, taking care of the house and complaining about the fact that your wife is working,...

And now, to feel like a man again, you want to go to Thailand to find work (in Thailand, not in Hawai of course, only Thai people can find work in Hawai,...)

Jeez, the ladies must sure LOVE you,...

Am I missing something here?

I think Farang Yaaw Yaay just can't stop puting his foot in his mouth.

[Axel]

FarangYaayYaaw, I have been off this threat for a couple of days, but frankly speaking, you are going from bad to worse.

Do you know Ann Landers, RIP?

She would have said: "take some counselling. "

Sorry, no offense but I feel for you.

[D80]

So, if I get this right, you do want to avoid adultery, right?

I think there are lots of things to do apart from visiting the bar scene, even in BKK.

Apart from what others have already said, you could learn Thai cooking or take up a new sport. I used to go ice skating a lot when I was in Thailand (and when I was a lot younger, heheh!). I don't think the selections at the cinema were that bad. Worse come to worse, there's always Blockbuster.

By joining the gym, clubs, societies etc etc, you'll meet loads of other people away from the bar scene. I think this should take away some of the loneliness. Once you have some friends whose interest are not around the bar scene, you should find a lot more to do. There are farang friends that I know very well who are not interested in the bar scene at all. They never seem to be bored. They take small trips to national parks like Khao Yai and places like that. One of them took interest in forestry and wildlife and organised trekking trips with some of the locals. They always have great adventures to tell!

Try traveling around close to BKK and see what you can discover away from the nighlife. I mean, my mum & dad took an English friend of mine out for the day, just traveling around sampling different food from places. They went to Ayutthaya 2 days ago on this sort of trip and there was so much to do they couldn't fit everything in that day.

I'll refrain from commenting on any other issues this time.