She wants kids, I do not

[TuskegeeBen]

You've entertained us before about how little you contribute $$$. That's all about to change. As for being too old, that's nonsense. Send the kid to a local village school, free gov.hospital, no problem.

I agree that being too old is nonsense.

However,my biggest fear would be bringing up a child in Thailand. The education system here would be a complete no-no for me. There is no way i would want my child standing outside in hot weather singing the national anthem in front of the flag, not being taught how to think for him/herself and absorbing a retarded culture.

If you want kids and you care about their future, be prepared to move back home.

Getting married to, and then making babies with, a teenage mentality girl, from a (180 degree) different cultural background of values, who functions on a totally different cognitive consciousness level, and who's young enough to be your own granddaughter, is complete nonsense.

Edited February 6, 2016 by TuskegeeBen

[slipperylobster]

How would you stop her from having children, if she decided to?

You cannot force her to have birth control...nor will you be able to always wear a condom (mistakes happen).

I think your wife will soon win.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

How would you stop her from having children, if she decided to?

You cannot force her to have birth control...nor will you be able to always wear a condom (mistakes happen).

I think your wife will soon win.

In 42 years I managed not to have kids. How can she win? Not a chance.

[SoiBiker]

If you're already thinking in terms of one of you 'winning' over the other, especially on such an emotive issue, your relationship seems to be built on pretty shaky foundations.

[1happykamper]

I became a dad at 42. I never worried about anything like the OP is on about. Sure.. Money.. Responsibility.. And this biggest game changer... Lack of my own time... But my Scottish ex wife (32 when she was first pregnant) and I managed to raise 3 good healthy kids. You can too. Unless you are just looking for an excuse not to. That's an entirely different kettle of fish and one which should have been discussed thoroughly before marriage. Right?

[theguyfromanotherforum]

If you're already thinking in terms of one of you 'winning' over the other, especially on such an emotive issue, your relationship seems to be built on pretty shaky foundations.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

It is not me who said it. Can't you see the quotation marks?

[theguyfromanotherforum]

I became a dad at 42. I never worried about anything like the OP is on about. Sure.. Money.. Responsibility.. And this biggest game changer... Lack of my own time... But my Scottish ex wife (32 when she was first pregnant) and I managed to raise 3 good healthy kids. You can too. Unless you are just looking for an excuse not to. That's an entirely different kettle of fish and one which should have been discussed thoroughly before marriage. Right?

No.

[arunsakda]

If you don't want kids tell her first then get a vasectomy and see how it works out. Your wife is going to win on this one. She will get what she wants one way or another (may not involve you) or make life miserable. You may need to divorce.

Edited February 7, 2016 by arunsakda

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Quite amusing replies.

I am not getting a vasectomy. Why the hell would I get one? We were together for 3 years before getting married with me living in her house every single day. Why would I suddenly get her pregnant?

She will not "win".

My suspicion is that even she doesn't want them, but parents asked about it.

[arunsakda]

Why WOULDN'T you get a snip job if you do not want kids? Do you want kids with somebody else?

[Bangkokhatter]

Judging by your replies on here your not mature or stable enough to have children.

[ianf]

Judging by your replies on here your not mature or stable enough to have children.

Do you mean you're not mature enough?

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Forgiven. Must be a TEFL-er.

[FruitPudding]

You got married and never had a discussion and arrived at a conclusion on something this fundamental to marriage? Asking people on a forum like this for input on something so deeply personal and unique to you and your wife? I have to say I am speachless ... well almost. My own view, as this is all I can offer, is that there is absolutely zero point in getting married at all if not for having children. Marriage legitimizes children and perhaps gives the woman some small sense of security. Other than this, marriage is a very bad idea and gives you nothing of value in return that you could not have without it.

Nonsense.

Since when is marriage a license to have children?

In the West people don't even get married anymore and still have children.

Since when is marriage = children?

No wonder there are so many retarded parents around. Anyone can get married. Does that mean anyone should have children.

As a matter of fact, it is me who's speechless.

Having kids is something you should have expected she would want to do. Most women do. You should have talked about this before marriage.

Your fear is a little abnormal. Maybe start thinking about your mental health and seek some help.

If you really don't want kids, divorce her. It is the only responsible thing left to do. Let her live her life the way she wants.

You are wrong here. It is not she who should have spelled out to you that she wanted to reproduce (cos that is typical). It is you who should have spelled that out to her. Unless she has kids already, does she? If so, I take back all that I have said to this point. I haven't read your entire thread in detail, so I don't know if you have mentioned it. I have better things to do than read threads in their entirety.

If she doesn't have kids, just divorce her. Your relationship will be a struggle if you deny her this. She will resent you.

Yes, as others have said, your responses are immature and you don't feel confident, so maybe you shouldn't. I mean, I am not the strongest guy in the world, but I am a good father, though it takes time to learn and change is a painful process.. Adapting from your life now to being a father will not be that easy. I didn't have any fears like you did. Though, I do keep my kid's safety in mind, a lot, especially in Thailand.

Get divorced. Get a vasectomy. Talk about this with future GFs. Simple.

[khundon]

Maybe, you should have used some of that pillow talk you engaged in, prior to getting married, more on the lines of, do you want kids? rather than, did the earth move for you?

[AZBill]

I'm 56 and would love another kid! Can't live life scared and kids keep you young IMHO