Unhappy in Bangkok - relationship issues - need a change

[norfolkandchance]

I get 5 matches a day even with that photo. I'm just finding it tough to keep them interested from there.

For some insight into their intellect, you have to see a picture of their room..it will mostly be a combination of colours from a dollhouse.pink, blue, yellow.japanese toys, teddy bears, stuffed toys, hello kittys..and then you realise that this a 28 year old woman's room!!!

Bottom line..these are kids in adult bodies.so have your fun..but don't expect any strong connections beyond sex and her expecting you will take care of her every need including her useless family.

Of course, there are exceptions and you will see that for yourself when they surface.

The problems are not getting thai women but keeping them away.

Another tactic: Instead of being soft, romantic and sensitive like western girls want their men to be, focus on being a good friend to thai girls..be playfully risqué (Thai girls have a word for it: Thalung), attentive yet a tad aloof, fun, make them laugh all the time, learn the art of cunnilingus and g-spot manipulation to make them squirt.then you will be on here complaining that they never leave you alone.

Cheers.

Haha yeah, you know your stuff. I speak 2 languages - English and cutesy Asian girl LINE speak.

As I was thinking out loud earlier, perhaps Shanghai, Buenos Aires, or even Budapest would be more my speed, since I am ultimately looking for more than just fun.

[norfolkandchance]

OP.please just go home.enough is enough.

[sead]

Dont talk about photgraphing them. i think thats why they disappear.

[Fairynuff]

I believe that possibly the key to your issue, is your self description of being an introvert. Asian girls are very good at picking up body language, and you may be coming through as being negative and lacking in self confidence. And if that's the case, you won't Stoke many Asian female fires .. Think about it

The Khmers and Phillipinas seem to like me. Main issue with that is I think those are not the best places to be walking around with a camera. Otherwise I'd move to Phnom Penh in a heartbeat.

When I've got cash in my pocket EVERYONE likes me

[GF47]

OP.please just go home.enough is enough.

Yeah or you could just stop reading this thread.

I don't post in forums much, but I gave away almost all my possessions to look for adventure and maybe a new life, I've spent a decent amount of cash doing it, and I don't see why I shouldn't talk with others who have come before me, especially when things aren't working out.

And listening to all the insight from others on this thread has helped me clarify the problem. Thai women don't like my personality and nothing will change that. I don't like their mindset and nothing will change that. Thailand is not for everyone.

It seems a shame to waste the other 6 months on my Visa though, and so I am seeking advice from those who have come before me, about what they would do in my situation.

[norfolkandchance]

OP.please just go home.enough is enough.

Yeah or you could just stop reading this thread.

I don't post in forums much, but I gave away almost all my possessions to look for adventure and maybe a new life, I've spent a decent amount of cash doing it, and I don't see why I shouldn't talk with others who have come before me, especially when things aren't working out.

And listening to all the insight from others on this thread has helped me clarify the problem. Thai women don't like my personality and nothing will change that. I don't like their mindset and nothing will change that. Thailand is not for everyone.

It seems a shame to waste the other 6 months on my Visa though, and so I am seeking advice from those who have come before me, about what they would do in my situation.

[norfolkandchance]

OP.please just go home.enough is enough.

Yeah or you could just stop reading this thread.

I don't post in forums much, but I gave away almost all my possessions to look for adventure and maybe a new life, I've spent a decent amount of cash doing it, and I don't see why I shouldn't talk with others who have come before me, especially when things aren't working out.

And listening to all the insight from others on this thread has helped me clarify the problem. Thai women don't like my personality and nothing will change that. I don't like their mindset and nothing will change that. Thailand is not for everyone.

It seems a shame to waste the other 6 months on my Visa though, and so I am seeking advice from those who have come before me, about what they would do in my situation.

[norfolkandchance]

Best of luck. Hope you find the girl of your dreams.Here or home. Next

[thaihome]

Frankly, I think the OP is going to have issues no matter where he goes. If he can make the blanket statement about Thai women's mindset, he is going to problems everywhere.

TH

[Scouse123]

Get on an Air Asia flight and get down to Phnom Penn. This is a place you are comfortable in. Then when you meet someone that suits, move across to the chilled out place that is Siem Reap.

You will meet many very friendly, open, outgoing down to earth ex pats as opposed to sexpats. Many are working there as teachers, NGOs, or just helping to rebuild as volunteers. A photographers dream are the Angkor ruins and the Cambodian countryside. When you find your feet, go further afield and explore Kep, Battambang, Sihanoukville, a few islands etc

Siem reap has a busy crowd of expats, plenty stuff like live music, yoga, courses, etc. Take the Cambodian girl with you and explore together. If you have cash in pocket, your opportunities are endless.

[donnybay]

Your best companion is yourself, once you have mastered that, the constant need for someone else will ease.

I live alone, have only one male Farang friend in Thailand I trust, and many female sex partners ones i don't, but i still enjoy their company when I decided.

Wake up when you want, watch what you want, go where you want when you want, the list could go on. Its called freedom

Had all the relationships and all the dross that comes with them in the West, in Thailand? no thank you

[GF47]

Get on an Air Asia flight and get down to Phnom Penn. This is a place you are comfortable in. Then when you meet someone that suits, move across to the chilled out place that is Siem Reap.

You will meet many very friendly, open, outgoing down to earth ex pats as opposed to sexpats. Many are working there as teachers, NGOs, or just helping to rebuild as volunteers. A photographers dream are the Angkor ruins and the Cambodian countryside. When you find your feet, go further afield and explore Kep, Battambang, Sihanoukville, a few islands etc

Siem reap has a busy crowd of expats, plenty stuff like live music, yoga, courses, etc. Take the Cambodian girl with you and explore together. If you have cash in pocket, your opportunities are endless.

I really want to be in Cambodia. I was in Phnom Penh for 2 weeks and had the best time I've had in over a decade. But the safety issues were obvious for someone with a nice camera. What I'm hearing is that it would be less of a issue if I was a expat, as opposed to someone staying in the obvious tourist areas?

[Razzler1973]

I won't judge your entire personality based on that 1 photo unlike everyone else

You're over thinking it

Dating sites are notriously up and down in any country. Tinder isn't bad but don't think of all these things are 'dating' and finding a girlfriend just think of them as 'meeting people' and take things from there

As someone said above, it really does start with 'hello'. Big food courts, stores, malls, etc. You don't have to be creepy about it. You queue up for food in the food court and someone gets something 'how is that, I never tried it' 'I love this food court, so much variety' and *bham* you're in a conversation. You'll know quickly if someone wants to speak to you. If they throw a bit of a blank or don't seem interested then no worries

There's a number element to it too. Don't start off talking about taking people's photos. Be all means mention you're into it.

Don't stress it

[dansbkk]

I don't want to be mean, but if you are introverted and had trouble finding relationships in your home country, Thailand will not be any easier for you to find a relationship with a non professional (interpret that as a non bar girl) woman. Your message comes across full of desperation. People, both men and woman tend to easily pick up on that desperation and their first instinct is usually to run the other way. Finding a friend is not like going to the store and picking up something off the shelf.

As others have suggested, you have the best chance of meeting normal people in normal places. Restaurants, malls, school are all good places to start. You are a photographer. Try and find a class in Bangkok where you can meet people with similar interests. Be genuine, be sincere, ask open ended questions and then listen to the answers. Even if you are shy, listening and paying attention is a good thing. There is no need to give someone new you meet your resume or tell them all about your accomplishments, just be real.

Others have suggested asking about taking a lady's picture. Don't do it. That comes across as creepy with someone you have just met. Save the photos for something to do at a later date. Then just find scenic locations to visit and tour and ask her to model for you. Keep it light and friendly.

[davidst01]

Its only a 2 hour bus ride to pattaya. good luck

[lovelomsak]

Even the horniest thai woman will NOT make the first move…it really is up to the man…they have told me this.

They like men with the guts to come up and say hello…yes, hello…that is all you need in terms of game.

Then invite them out…and go slow….unless she's a ho…which I gather you don't like.

If they bring a friend on a date, bail immediately.

Don't take any shit…and nip any gold digging behaviour in the bud by removing yourself from the situation pronto.

I would say good luck but you don't need any luck with these gals….just focus on the one you like and get in there.

Theres an old saying…any idiot can get a girl to fall in love with him…but it takes a a smart man to get a woman out of his life.

Cheers.

Spot on.

I remember 20+ years ago, on my first tour... I was young lad and everything changed when I learned a few simple things.

1. You have to make the move with Thai women. Being a little aggressive is OK. I dont mean physically. And in the beginning polite and well-dressed and well groomed is EXTREMELY important. Then keep asking girls out. You will have a list of names in no time.

If you want to take it to the next level, after some food and maybe a few dates ... it is not difficult. They will follow you. Be discreet and take care of them. You can have more action than you can imagine. But it all starts with making the first move and being in charge.

2. Follow on to point 1 is that Thai women are one way in public but very often they are completely different once the door is closed and you are alone. I mean sex of course. This can go both ways. I have known so many wild ones, tons of fun and surprises, and more than a few disappointments and a couple that left me scratching my head wondering...

3. To clarify... coming from a western background I was always looking for consensual clarity. Once I started with the assumption that if I got their number they wanted me to call. And if we met then they wanted to see me. If we were alone then they wanted to be alone. Keep going with that. If you ask for permission it is confusing for them. If they want you to stop they will tell you so. It will be more than "No" which does not mean stop. It usually means "don't stop"!

4. I used to play games ... like taking the skytrain home ... I would play the pick up game. Just a little challenge I liked to undertake to pass the time. More than once I met a girl who left the train with me and was in bed in hours.

5. There are a few classifications of girls who I found to be a waste of time or massive headaches and not worth it. The first are girls who work in the beauty sections selling cosmetics in department stores. (Not katoeys). Overall the young ones who are good looking tend to be a lot like another group - prettys or girls who do some kind of modeling or selling or promoting of products. These are high maintenance and often a pain in the ass.

The key all starts when you realize you have to take what you want, not ask for it.

This is right on He said exactly what I was trying to say I agree with everything except the no part. Yes you can test the no here but if feels like a no treat it as a no..You can meet them anywhere. On a skytrain,talk to them by the time you get off you are heading for Swenson's together for ice cream and some times from their to your apartment.

A photographer should have no problems. Well eating ice cream ask to take pictures so you can remember the moment for ever Thai women just adore anything the least bit romantic.

[jacky54]

Meeting women in bangkok is like falling off a log. It is too easy.

Never found it anything like that ever in 22 years, dating sites were a waste of time in my experience with a lot of nutters, gold diggers and prostitutes on them

[DipStick]

I believe that possibly the key to your issue, is your self description of being an introvert. Asian girls are very good at picking up body language, and you may be coming through as being negative and lacking in self confidence. And if that's the case, you won't Stoke many Asian female fires .. Think about it

The Khmers and Phillipinas seem to like me. Main issue with that is I think those are not the best places to be walking around with a camera. Otherwise I'd move to Phnom Penh in a heartbeat.

y

Can I suggest you ditch your camera and be a little bit more human instead. Perhaps the camera and you being an introvert creates obstacles . Give it a try

[jacky54]

Even the horniest thai woman will NOT make the first move…it really is up to the man…they have told me this.

They like men with the guts to come up and say hello…yes, hello…that is all you need in terms of game.

Then invite them out…and go slow….unless she's a ho…which I gather you don't like.

If they bring a friend on a date, bail immediately.

Don't take any shit…and nip any gold digging behaviour in the bud by removing yourself from the situation pronto.

I would say good luck but you don't need any luck with these gals….just focus on the one you like and get in there.

Theres an old saying…any idiot can get a girl to fall in love with him…but it takes a a smart man to get a woman out of his life.

Cheers.

Spot on.

I remember 20+ years ago, on my first tour... I was young lad and everything changed when I learned a few simple things.

1. You have to make the move with Thai women. Being a little aggressive is OK. I dont mean physically. And in the beginning polite and well-dressed and well groomed is EXTREMELY important. Then keep asking girls out. You will have a list of names in no time.

If you want to take it to the next level, after some food and maybe a few dates ... it is not difficult.

I think the guy probably knows this already, the problem is being introverted as it's not something easily overcome no matter how much you would like to. It is not difficult it's just about impossible to approach women you don't know if you really are an introvert. It's rather like advising somebody with a fear of heights to go rock climbing or with claustrophobia to get into a small crowded space. I expect that's why he's tried the dating sites, some people swear by them as well but I never met anyone much good on them. Guys like the OP (and myself) are better in a situation where they are introduced to somebody but as he does not know anyone here that's not on either. I wish I could do the above but never have been able to and never will.

[GF47]

Even the horniest thai woman will NOT make the first move…it really is up to the man…they have told me this.

They like men with the guts to come up and say hello…yes, hello…that is all you need in terms of game.

Then invite them out…and go slow….unless she's a ho…which I gather you don't like.

If they bring a friend on a date, bail immediately.

Don't take any shit…and nip any gold digging behaviour in the bud by removing yourself from the situation pronto.

I would say good luck but you don't need any luck with these gals….just focus on the one you like and get in there.

Theres an old saying…any idiot can get a girl to fall in love with him…but it takes a a smart man to get a woman out of his life.

Cheers.

Spot on.

I remember 20+ years ago, on my first tour... I was young lad and everything changed when I learned a few simple things.

1. You have to make the move with Thai women. Being a little aggressive is OK. I dont mean physically. And in the beginning polite and well-dressed and well groomed is EXTREMELY important. Then keep asking girls out. You will have a list of names in no time.

If you want to take it to the next level, after some food and maybe a few dates ... it is not difficult.

I think the guy probably knows this already, the problem is being introverted as it's not something easily overcome no matter how much you would like to. It is not difficult it's just about impossible to approach women you don't know if you really are an introvert. It's rather like advising somebody with a fear of heights to go rock climbing or with claustrophobia to get into a small crowded space. I expect that's why he's tried the dating sites, some people swear by them as well but I never met anyone much good on them. Guys like the OP (and myself) are better in a situation where they are introduced to somebody but as he does not know anyone here that's not on either. I wish I could do the above but never have been able to and never will.

YES!!!

We are all different personality types with different psychological makeups. I can be extremely confident - if I have something in common with the person I'm trying to relate to, or if they're at least giving a signal that they are interested.

To those who can successfully charm strangers at Big C, much respect. You have a personality type that others don't. I know Thai women like romance, but do they generally like having random Farang coming up and talking to them? I mean guys like me, who are not really good-looking? It sounds like its up for debate.

Thanks to those who have offered good insight.

[jacky54]

Of course you have to be able to speak Thai pretty well to be able to approach strangers here anyway well that's my excuse . But I did see an interesting thing on the 558 bus once, a chat up by writing. Many Thais can understand written English far better than speaking so a guy was writing down questions on a pad, giving it to a girl who wrote answers. I sat next to her, he was standing and it went on for some time, they got off together, or at least at the same stop. I thought that was a good idea, start off with a general question and carry on.

[wow64]

Even the horniest thai woman will NOT make the first move…it really is up to the man…they have told me this.

They like men with the guts to come up and say hello…yes, hello…that is all you need in terms of game.

Then invite them out…and go slow….unless she's a ho…which I gather you don't like.

If they bring a friend on a date, bail immediately.

Don't take any shit…and nip any gold digging behaviour in the bud by removing yourself from the situation pronto.

I would say good luck but you don't need any luck with these gals….just focus on the one you like and get in there.

Theres an old saying…any idiot can get a girl to fall in love with him…but it takes a a smart man to get a woman out of his life.

Cheers.

Spot on.

I remember 20+ years ago, on my first tour... I was young lad and everything changed when I learned a few simple things.

1. You have to make the move with Thai women. Being a little aggressive is OK. I dont mean physically. And in the beginning polite and well-dressed and well groomed is EXTREMELY important. Then keep asking girls out. You will have a list of names in no time.

If you want to take it to the next level, after some food and maybe a few dates ... it is not difficult.

I think the guy probably knows this already, the problem is being introverted as it's not something easily overcome no matter how much you would like to. It is not difficult it's just about impossible to approach women you don't know if you really are an introvert. It's rather like advising somebody with a fear of heights to go rock climbing or with claustrophobia to get into a small crowded space. I expect that's why he's tried the dating sites, some people swear by them as well but I never met anyone much good on them. Guys like the OP (and myself) are better in a situation where they are introduced to somebody but as he does not know anyone here that's not on either. I wish I could do the above but never have been able to and never will.

YES!!!

We are all different personality types with different psychological makeups. I can be extremely confident - if I have something in common with the person I'm trying to relate to, or if they're at least giving a signal that they are interested.

To those who can successfully charm strangers at Big C, much respect. You have a personality type that others don't. I know Thai women like romance, but do they generally like having random Farang coming up and talking to them? I mean guys like me, who are not really good-looking? It sounds like its up for debate.

Thanks to those who have offered good insight.

Give you a hint.. If you are at Big C and women starts sucking on the bannana you had in your basket they are interested..

Sent from my c64

[jacky54]

YES!!!

We are all different personality types with different psychological makeups. I can be extremely confident - if I have something in common with the person I'm trying to relate to, or if they're at least giving a signal that they are interested.

To those who can successfully charm strangers at Big C, much respect. You have a personality type that others don't. I know Thai women like romance, but do they generally like having random Farang coming up and talking to them? I mean guys like me, who are not really good-looking? It sounds like its up for debate.

Thanks to those who have offered good insight.

I can relate to that, I am not so shy, have got up on stages and been on the TV a few times here with no rehearsal (MuM show last time) don't mind making a fool of myself and will quite happily be the only foreigner in a huge crowd of Thais. But the idea of approaching an unknown Thai woman for me is next to impossible, just can't do it for some reason.

[GF47]

YES!!!

We are all different personality types with different psychological makeups. I can be extremely confident - if I have something in common with the person I'm trying to relate to, or if they're at least giving a signal that they are interested.

To those who can successfully charm strangers at Big C, much respect. You have a personality type that others don't. I know Thai women like romance, but do they generally like having random Farang coming up and talking to them? I mean guys like me, who are not really good-looking? It sounds like its up for debate.

Thanks to those who have offered good insight.

I can relate to that, I am not so shy, have got up on stages and been on the TV a few times here with no rehearsal (MuM show last time) don't mind making a fool of myself and will quite happily be the only foreigner in a huge crowd of Thais. But the idea of approaching an unknown Thai woman for me is next to impossible, just can't do it for some reason.

It's something to do with the personality/psychological profile. I can function well under pressure, and am extremely confident when it comes to managing high-stakes professional situations. What I can't do is make charming small talk at the supermarket or bar. My brain locks up. So I've been trying to set things up with Tinder instead, and obviously the results haven't been great.

[louialive]

Practice your chat up lines in the mirror or write stuff down and practice it.

Take risks in approaching someone, you've got nothing to lose if it goes wrong. Each time you try the more confident you will get. Think about what went wrong in that conversation and don't do it/say it next time.

Not saying it is easy but practice and getting confident and you will crack it.

But remember what others have said smile and smile again. It's the one thing my wife said she loved most about me when we first met over 8 years ago.

[GF47]

Practice your chat up lines in the mirror or write stuff down and practice it.

Take risks in approaching someone, you've got nothing to lose if it goes wrong. Each time you try the more confident you will get. Think about what went wrong in that conversation and don't do it/say it next time.

Not saying it is easy but practice and getting confident and you will crack it.

But remember what others have said smile and smile again. It's the one thing my wife said she loved most about me when we first met over 8 years ago.

That's it! THAT'S the problem! I don't know how to smile. At least not without some serious partying. I've been trying to win ladies over with my intellectual and artistic ambitions, but I literally cannot make that casual smile.

[jacky54]

we must have different types of women in Big C our way, don't think i have ever seen one worth talking to anyway! They do have the odd nice check out girl though, usually more likely to have a disagreement about their prices. Sales assistants are always on their phones of course. The few other falangs I see being dragged round by their Thai other half's always look so miserable.

Edited March 9, 2016 by jacky54

[tomacht8]

Practice your chat up lines in the mirror or write stuff down and practice it.

Take risks in approaching someone, you've got nothing to lose if it goes wrong. Each time you try the more confident you will get. Think about what went wrong in that conversation and don't do it/say it next time.

Not saying it is easy but practice and getting confident and you will crack it.

But remember what others have said smile and smile again. It's the one thing my wife said she loved most about me when we first met over 8 years ago.

That's it! THAT'S the problem! I don't know how to smile. At least not without some serious partying. I've been trying to win ladies over with my intellectual and artistic ambitions, but I literally cannot make that casual smile.

Think so.

Learn to smile. Just try doing an eyebrow "high pull".

In the Thai language that is casually: ping ping.

This means that I'm interested in you.

Smiling makes sympathetic, shows that you are in good shape, that you are funny, etc.

Our visual stimuli work like that.

You can practice this in the morning when shaving in front of the mirror.

Good Luck.

[Straight8]

If they bring a friend on a date, bail immediately.

What is your thinking behind that one JhJ?

Both after free drinks and dinner ???

Seriously, an adult needs to bring a friend on a date. I just don't need that sh1t, full stop!!

Holmies is right, if she really is genuine and needs someone to hold her hand, not really the woman you need, and if they are both there to milk you out of dinner, definitely not the girl for you too.

Other guys will of course tell you that is how they met their wife and they have been happily married for 355 years.

[mcfish]

Meeting women in bangkok is like falling off a log. It is too easy.I have met them trying to jaywalk at the same place and slept with her the next night. When I lived in Bangkok I met women all day. Could have dinner every night with a new women. I think maybe you should just get outside and meet them. Easy at Big C or any mall.At an eatery,just about any where you go. Bars are the worst places. Ice cream parlours,coffee shops just about any were. Just smile and make eye contact and be friendly too easy.Bangkok women are receptive to meeting new men.

Sorry but this is BS. How are you scoring on every corner without excellent thai that you don't have. If they speak great English and it's all happening in lower Sukhumvit or some shopping malls then they are part time hookers but it's not always obvious to a newbie.

Even if she only asks for 500 baht to go shopping the morning after..

Sent from my SC-01D using Tapatalk