Unhappy in Bangkok - relationship issues - need a change

[BookMan]

If they bring a friend on a date, bail immediately.

What is your thinking behind that one JhJ?

Both after free drinks and dinner ???

Seriously, an adult needs to bring a friend on a date. I just don't need that sh1t, full stop!!

Holmies is right, if she really is genuine and needs someone to hold her hand, not really the woman you need, and if they are both there to milk you out of dinner, definitely not the girl for you too.

Other guys will of course tell you that is how they met their wife and they have been happily married for 355 years.

JhJ expands his thoughts in a later post also..

A couple of weeks back i asked to meet a girl for lunch.. she asked if she could bring some friends...3 of them

[jacky54]

Its only a 2 hour bus ride to pattaya. good luck

Nobody should ever be desperate enough to have to go to that hell hole

[Thainess]

Meeting women in bangkok is like falling off a log. It is too easy.

Never found it anything like that ever in 22 years, dating sites were a waste of time in my experience with a lot of nutters, gold diggers and prostitutes on them

That basically covers all three types of women you'll meet not just in Thailand but around the world. So what are you complaining about?

[Thainess]

If they bring a friend on a date, bail immediately.

What is your thinking behind that one JhJ?

Both after free drinks and dinner ???

Seriously, an adult needs to bring a friend on a date. I just don't need that sh1t, full stop!!

Holmies is right, if she really is genuine and needs someone to hold her hand, not really the woman you need, and if they are both there to milk you out of dinner, definitely not the girl for you too.

Other guys will of course tell you that is how they met their wife and they have been happily married for 355 years.

But if she brings a friend, that's an opportunity to interview two potential bed-warmers at the same time. More efficient use of your time.

[lovelomsak]

Meeting women in bangkok is like falling off a log. It is too easy.I have met them trying to jaywalk at the same place and slept with her the next night. When I lived in Bangkok I met women all day. Could have dinner every night with a new women. I think maybe you should just get outside and meet them. Easy at Big C or any mall.At an eatery,just about any where you go. Bars are the worst places. Ice cream parlours,coffee shops just about any were. Just smile and make eye contact and be friendly too easy.Bangkok women are receptive to meeting new men.

Sorry but this is BS. How are you scoring on every corner without excellent thai that you don't have. If they speak great English and it's all happening in lower Sukhumvit or some shopping malls then they are part time hookers but it's not always obvious to a newbie.

Even if she only asks for 500 baht to go shopping the morning after..

Sent from my SC-01D using Tapatalk

You are right about the sukhumvit area. But that was not my playground. I was talking about 12 years ago when I lived on Soi Ari with tons of office girls and the Saphan Kwai area with their Big C. From Victory monument to Morchit. Little english but not necessary.Polite clean,well mannered wins every time with thai women.

[GF47]

Meeting women in bangkok is like falling off a log. It is too easy.I have met them trying to jaywalk at the same place and slept with her the next night. When I lived in Bangkok I met women all day. Could have dinner every night with a new women. I think maybe you should just get outside and meet them. Easy at Big C or any mall.At an eatery,just about any where you go. Bars are the worst places. Ice cream parlours,coffee shops just about any were. Just smile and make eye contact and be friendly too easy.Bangkok women are receptive to meeting new men.

Sorry but this is BS. How are you scoring on every corner without excellent thai that you don't have. If they speak great English and it's all happening in lower Sukhumvit or some shopping malls then they are part time hookers but it's not always obvious to a newbie.

Even if she only asks for 500 baht to go shopping the morning after..

Sent from my SC-01D using Tapatalk

You are right about the sukhumvit area. But that was not my playground. I was talking about 12 years ago when I lived on Soi Ari with tons of office girls and the Saphan Kwai area with their Big C. From Victory monument to Morchit. Little english but not necessary.Polite clean,well mannered wins every time with thai women.

I've also been hearing that Bangkok was different 12 years ago. That it was different even 5 or 6 years ago, and by different I mean the general attitude towards farangs. But I think you're right about Victory Monument being a good spot. Lots of down-to-earth middle class women who I would love to know. VM, Payathai, Ratchathewi are my favorite places in Bangkok.

The issue is that I'm not a clean, happy-go-lucky kind of person with a easy smile. I chose Bangkok because I thought someone like me (serious brooding artist, student of journalism and philosophy, wears lots of black etc) would be able to find similar people in a megacity like this, and what I'm finding out is that isn't the case, not easily anyway. The chemistry just isn't mixing.

Places like Tokyo or Shanghai may be a better bet, not just for romance but for the type of culture I would fit into.

[GF47]

Tinder conversation from 10 minutes ago. Pretty much says it all.

[MaeJoMTB]

A couple of weeks back i asked to meet a girl for lunch.. she asked if she could bring some friends...3 of them

The correct answer being, bring whoever you like, but I'm only paying for what you and I eat.

[louialive]

Tinder conversation from 10 minutes ago. Pretty much says it all.

So practice smiling. As someone mentioned earlier practice when you are having a shave or something. Its not rocket science.

You didn't just pick up a camera and became an expert overnight you learned to use your camera.

Your can make it happen if you want to.

I can't think of any culture where women don't like a guy who can smile.

[jacky54]

Come to think of it it was different in 1994, girls used to come up to you to talk on the street, and not whores either. I think the novelty of foreigners has somewhat worn off over the years and that there is as much dislike now as there used to be curiosity. As for asking to take photos there can't be women anywhere that are more accepting of having photos taken, they are always doing it. went into big C as usual, nobody sucking on bananas though

[wow64]

Tinder conversation from 10 minutes ago. Pretty much says it all.

She is spot on and a straighter shooter..

Take you photo down and delete it you look like a weirdo... Ps I am a photographer who cannot take photos...

Sent from my c64

[Razzler1973]

If you're shy then try the cold approach to older women or girls you're not particularly attracted to and see if it's easier without the expectation or wanting them to go out with you. Obviously, you are having a conversation here, not looking for a date but it could be good practice

Otherwise, ask a simple question to someone you like at a bus stop of BTS train 'can I get off at xyz station to go <wherever> ... just get used to speaking to people. I know you're shy but if you really can't even ask a girl directions we may have a problem!

[puffy]

Firstly that is a terrible photo.

Not smiling and wearing black, change the picture.

Secondly you need to get off the dating sites, most of the girls are hookers, and most of the guys are looking for one nighters.

Most of the girls will not believe or trust a word you say on those sites.

Someone else mentioned you have to make the first move and that is good advise, Thai girls will not make the first move, however the good

news is they are less likely to reject your approach than a Western girl. Everyday their are opportunities in Thailand. One day I went to the

Opticians, and the Optician was pretty cute, I asked her to the cinema and met her that night, although she did bring a friend, which can also

be common on first dates.Shopping centers, Gyms, cafes are all good options, Even hospitals. I also get you like photography, not everyone does,

so don't be a one trick pony and have a few more things to talk about.

[JHolmesJr]

Also, is threading your eyebrows an option?

[GF47]

Also, is threading your eyebrows an option?

Haha I get them waxed every 2 weeks. Most girls have complimented the shape of my eyebrows, and are delighted when I tell them I get regular grooming....

Although I think most of those comments were coming from the Khmers.

The Thai girls don't tell me much of anything. Act shy and stay buried in their iphone the entire night, and then seem surprised that I am not proposing marriage.

[Rocketsurgeon]

You need a smile, in the photo and in real life. I can take a nice photo, can smile on demand but also serious person so lighten up.

You like to take photos? Take 50 of you smiling and post the best one.

Sounds like confidence issues. You're approaching pretty women out of your league. Just remember no matter what they look like, they're broke and no education.

Dress well. When I wear shorts in town, the hotties don't give me much if a look. Wearing a business shirt, slacks and tie, I get looks from all sorts of attractive women, many much younger. So, no shorts.

In 2016 I would not learn much Thai. But you need as much as you can tolerate self studying. Yup, need. This country is done. Enjoy what it has, photograph it and move on. BTW I hate Phil's, the women are just dangerous, the nation unsafe, the food atrocious. The Visayan English dialect drives me insane, its so ignorant. Phnom Penh used to be the loveliest capital in East Asia. Used to be, you're way late.

Don't rush the girlfriend thing.

Don't try for girls that are really young and pretty, they have tons of interest from Thai men. I don't see their competition in that photo sorry. But! Plenty of 25+++ hotties out there. The older women get the more they look for relationships as well as trying new things, like farang boyfriends.

You will run into headwinds with most being farang. Being seen with you, especially a noob with little grasp of Thai culture they think, their families, friends.

Definitely lose the photo thing, especially don't pull out a portfolio. Since you like outdoor photography invite her somewhere and photograph her there.

Thai women like well dressed, confident farang but I'll let a secret out. Every so often I see some stunning young woman in a crap food court job that's waiting to be swept off her feet.

Finally, learn to smile or move to colder climes.

[GF47]

You need a smile, in the photo and in real life. I can take a nice photo, can smile on demand but also serious person so lighten up.

You like to take photos? Take 50 of you smiling and post the best one.

Sounds like confidence issues. You're approaching pretty women out of your league. Just remember no matter what they look like, they're broke and no education.

Dress well. When I wear shorts in town, the hotties don't give me much if a look. Wearing a business shirt, slacks and tie, I get looks from all sorts of attractive women, many much younger. So, no shorts.

In 2016 I would not learn much Thai. But you need as much as you can tolerate self studying. Yup, need. This country is done. Enjoy what it has, photograph it and move on. BTW I hate Phil's, the women are just dangerous, the nation unsafe, the food atrocious. The Visayan English dialect drives me insane, its so ignorant. Phnom Penh used to be the loveliest capital in East Asia. Used to be, you're way late.

Don't rush the girlfriend thing.

Don't try for girls that are really young and pretty, they have tons of interest from Thai men. I don't see their competition in that photo sorry. But! Plenty of 25+++ hotties out there. The older women get the more they look for relationships as well as trying new things, like farang boyfriends.

You will run into headwinds with most being farang. Being seen with you, especially a noob with little grasp of Thai culture they think, their families, friends.

Definitely lose the photo thing, especially don't pull out a portfolio. Since you like outdoor photography invite her somewhere and photograph her there.

Thai women like well dressed, confident farang but I'll let a secret out. Every so often I see some stunning young woman in a crap food court job that's waiting to be swept off her feet.

Finally, learn to smile or move to colder climes.

I think you're right about most of it. Except for me going for women out of my league (I do recruit younger models but honestly don't expect anything else from them).

And out of curiosity, where would you move on to? If Thai is done, Phils is no good, and Phnom Penh is also done... Somewhere outside of East Asia I'm guessing.

[tonray]

Just put on a nice shirt...and learn to smile. Girls don't want to date someone who looks like a funeral director...you are a decent looking person. Appear happy instead of gloomy.

[Agent Sumo]

Meeting women in bangkok is like falling off a log. It is too easy.I have met them trying to jaywalk at the same place and slept with her the next night. When I lived in Bangkok I met women all day. Could have dinner every night with a new women. I think maybe you should just get outside and meet them. Easy at Big C or any mall.At an eatery,just about any where you go. Bars are the worst places. Ice cream parlours,coffee shops just about any were. Just smile and make eye contact and be friendly too easy.Bangkok women are receptive to meeting new men.

Don't buy into that silly nonsense, its not easy at all. It sounds like you need to be a bit more patient. You can meet women if you want but I don't think they are the sort you really want to meet unless you think with a certain part of your anatomy like some apparently do. I would suggest spend a few years improving your Thai and broadening your social circles. It's generally who you know and their friends that make the difference. I think you need to take your time. Any fool can find a woman here but finding one that's right for you takes time.

The pool of women available to farang men is actually quite shallow.

They look great but there's not much depth to them.

That's fine for guys who don't really want much more than a female who can cook, clean and screw

If a guy needs more, he's not going to find it easy to meet suitable candidates in Thailand.

The OP sounds like he'd be better off with a Western woman.

Still young enough to get a half-decent one if he gets back quick

[Agent Sumo]

Even the horniest thai woman will NOT make the first move…it really is up to the man…they have told me this.

They've just told you what they think you want to hear. It happens here.

I've lost count of the number of times I've had girls come over and tell me their friend "likes" me.

The most common though is the accidental/on-purpose bumping into you at the bar or on the BTS

Your best companion is yourself, once you have mastered that, the constant need for someone else will ease.

I live alone, have only one male Farang friend in Thailand I trust, and many female sex partners ones i don't, but i still enjoy their company when I decided.

Wake up when you want, watch what you want, go where you want when you want, the list could go on. Its called freedom

Had all the relationships and all the dross that comes with them in the West, in Thailand? no thank you

The post of the thread

[GF47]

Meeting women in bangkok is like falling off a log. It is too easy.I have met them trying to jaywalk at the same place and slept with her the next night. When I lived in Bangkok I met women all day. Could have dinner every night with a new women. I think maybe you should just get outside and meet them. Easy at Big C or any mall.At an eatery,just about any where you go. Bars are the worst places. Ice cream parlours,coffee shops just about any were. Just smile and make eye contact and be friendly too easy.Bangkok women are receptive to meeting new men.

Don't buy into that silly nonsense, its not easy at all. It sounds like you need to be a bit more patient. You can meet women if you want but I don't think they are the sort you really want to meet unless you think with a certain part of your anatomy like some apparently do. I would suggest spend a few years improving your Thai and broadening your social circles. It's generally who you know and their friends that make the difference. I think you need to take your time. Any fool can find a woman here but finding one that's right for you takes time.

The pool of women available to farang men is actually quite shallow.

They look great but there's not much depth to them.

That's fine for guys who don't really want much more than a female who can cook, clean and screw

If a guy needs more, he's not going to find it easy to meet suitable candidates in Thailand.

The OP sounds like he'd be better off with a Western woman.

Still young enough to get a half-decent one if he gets back quick

Awesome response - exactly what I've been thinking. Having trouble pursuing anyone with passion because I haven't found anyone that has me excited. I've taken the same girl out 3 nights in a row, and I could probably close the deal if I laid it on thick... But I'm feeling less motivated each time. I take her to a nice place on Kao San road (her choice) on a Friday night for the third date, and all she does is sip one drink and look at her phone - and is now acting upset that I didn't offer to repeat the experience tonight.

Recent time in Phnom Penh was definitely more... Exciting.

I still want to travel, I just didn't find the Bangkok adventure I was looking for.

Edited March 12, 2016 by GF47

[mcfish]

Meeting women in bangkok is like falling off a log. It is too easy.I have met them trying to jaywalk at the same place and slept with her the next night. When I lived in Bangkok I met women all day. Could have dinner every night with a new women. I think maybe you should just get outside and meet them. Easy at Big C or any mall.At an eatery,just about any where you go. Bars are the worst places. Ice cream parlours,coffee shops just about any were. Just smile and make eye contact and be friendly too easy.Bangkok women are receptive to meeting new men.

Don't buy into that silly nonsense, its not easy at all. It sounds like you need to be a bit more patient. You can meet women if you want but I don't think they are the sort you really want to meet unless you think with a certain part of your anatomy like some apparently do. I would suggest spend a few years improving your Thai and broadening your social circles. It's generally who you know and their friends that make the difference. I think you need to take your time. Any fool can find a woman here but finding one that's right for you takes time.

The pool of women available to farang men is actually quite shallow.

They look great but there's not much depth to them.

That's fine for guys who don't really want much more than a female who can cook, clean and screw

If a guy needs more, he's not going to find it easy to meet suitable candidates in Thailand.

The OP sounds like he'd be better off with a Western woman.

Still young enough to get a half-decent one if he gets back quick

Awesome response - exactly what I've been thinking. Having trouble pursuing anyone with passion because I haven't found anyone that has me excited. I've taken the same girl out 3 nights in a row, and I could probably close the deal if I laid it on thick... But I'm feeling less motivated each time. I take her to a nice place on Kao San road (her choice) on a Friday night for the third date, and all she does is sip one drink and look at her phone - and is now acting upset that I didn't offer to repeat the experience tonight.

Recent time in Phnom Penh was definitely more... Exciting.

I still want to travel, I just didn't find the Bangkok adventure I was looking for.

Good posts. IMO If you're under 40, enjoy witty conversation and in decent shape you should try and nab a western woman while you still can. Dont listen to the Hansum men here who refuse to date the fat cows back home, the reality is its them that have been rejected.

The other startling fact is farang end up marrying the ugliest girl in the village. I hear the words "my wife is a stunner" a lot but in all honesty I've yet to see one.

Sent from my SC-01D using Tapatalk

[blackcab]

Meeting women in bangkok is like falling off a log. It is too easy.I have met them trying to jaywalk at the same place and slept with her the next night. When I lived in Bangkok I met women all day. Could have dinner every night with a new women. I think maybe you should just get outside and meet them. Easy at Big C or any mall.At an eatery,just about any where you go. Bars are the worst places. Ice cream parlours,coffee shops just about any were. Just smile and make eye contact and be friendly too easy.Bangkok women are receptive to meeting new men.

Sorry but this is BS. How are you scoring on every corner without excellent thai that you don't have. If they speak great English and it's all happening in lower Sukhumvit or some shopping malls then they are part time hookers but it's not always obvious to a newbie.

Even if she only asks for 500 baht to go shopping the morning after..

Sent from my SC-01D using Tapatalk

You are right about the sukhumvit area. But that was not my playground. I was talking about 12 years ago when I lived on Soi Ari with tons of office girls and the Saphan Kwai area with their Big C. From Victory monument to Morchit. Little english but not necessary.Polite clean,well mannered wins every time with thai women.

I've also been hearing that Bangkok was different 12 years ago. That it was different even 5 or 6 years ago, and by different I mean the general attitude towards farangs. But I think you're right about Victory Monument being a good spot. Lots of down-to-earth middle class women who I would love to know. VM, Payathai, Ratchathewi are my favorite places in Bangkok.

The issue is that I'm not a clean, happy-go-lucky kind of person with a easy smile. I chose Bangkok because I thought someone like me (serious brooding artist, student of journalism and philosophy, wears lots of black etc) would be able to find similar people in a megacity like this, and what I'm finding out is that isn't the case, not easily anyway. The chemistry just isn't mixing.

Places like Tokyo or Shanghai may be a better bet, not just for romance but for the type of culture I would fit into.

Try Paris. Plenty of black clad artists and photographers to mix with, plenty of which are female.

[farang1979]

Be careful. There are many Thai women that would take advantage of you.

[GF47]

Be careful. There are many Thai women that would take advantage of you.

I've met a few and I know the type. But I'm wanting a real soul-mate type of candidate, or at least a cool personality, not just anyone with a decent face. The manipulators get frustrated and move on pretty quick.

[farang1979]

Be careful. There are many Thai women that would take advantage of you.

I've met a few and I know the type. But I'm wanting a real soul-mate type of candidate, or at least a cool personality, not just anyone with a decent face. The manipulators get frustrated and move on pretty quick.

I'm glad you're already aware as it's a trap that all too often naive guys fall into at their often vast expense. The right girl will come along. As you well know, here some people (not all) are concerned with form over substance, I think it's indicative of the society, and you'll get scratched the surface type personalities occasionally or women wanting to appear cute in their 30s. But I've come across some educated, strong, professional women. If you really want to settle down here, I'd suggest you target the right age group. I'm not sure how old you are, but I've found that women in the professional workplace have more depth and world experience beyond the national mantra. Keep looking and you'll find her.

[stephenterry]

Try a different tack. Visit the German beer bar on sukhumvit Soi 7 in the afternoon. There will be dozens of available women. Sit next to a couple and make eye contact and smile. They will engage and you will be able to practice talking to women. Be interested in them, hear about their lives, maybe even buy a drink. You don't have to take it any further, but it eases you into being comfortable with a woman. Do it a few times and you'll see what works and what doesn't. So when you talk to those with a regular job, it becomes easier.

[JHolmesJr]

Try a different tack. Visit the German beer bar on sukhumvit Soi 7 in the afternoon. There will be dozens of available women. Sit next to a couple and make eye contact and smile. They will engage and you will be able to practice talking to women. Be interested in them, hear about their lives, maybe even buy a drink. You don't have to take it any further, but it eases you into being comfortable with a woman. Do it a few times and you'll see what works and what doesn't. So when you talk to those with a regular job, it becomes easier.

Nice idea if u wanna make your eyes glaze over.

[GF47]

Try a different tack. Visit the German beer bar on sukhumvit Soi 7 in the afternoon. There will be dozens of available women. Sit next to a couple and make eye contact and smile. They will engage and you will be able to practice talking to women. Be interested in them, hear about their lives, maybe even buy a drink. You don't have to take it any further, but it eases you into being comfortable with a woman. Do it a few times and you'll see what works and what doesn't. So when you talk to those with a regular job, it becomes easier.

Nice idea if u wanna make your eyes glaze over.

Haha well I understand the intention. I'm cool with the occasional bar girl, don't really lack confidence with those types, I just feel like they usually ask a high price for bad service in Bangkok so I don't indulge much. I'm sure it varies.

Anyway I got what I'd been wanting, sort of. Sexy office lady in her early 30s. I don't know that she'll be the love of my life, but it's fun for now. I'm just surprised that it took 3 months.

[Rhys]

Enjoy your adventures.... the time of your life bud. be safe,