Two Of My Thai Staff Are Lesbian Lovers In The Office

[Casanundra]

A very obvious relationship has recently formed between one of my secretaries and a Tom boy type from another department.

None of the other Thais in the buliding and office seem to mind but the caressing in the office between these two is what I would construe to be inappropriate behaviour but as the resident foreigner here I also don't want to intervene or upset the Thai office politics either.

Should I just hint that they should perhaps get a room or try and turn a blind eye to it? The book "working with the Thai's" doesn't seem to cover this subject.

Any ideas? What would you do?

Edited October 31, 2006 by Casanundra

[skippybangkok]

Two Thai women caressing each other in an office, just enjoy the moment mate.

Lol... well if both looked like Hally Berry, maybe, but I doubt the Tom is of that caliber. I worked with Tons of women in my office, and knew a few who had such relationships. If not obvious, no problem, but if they are openly flirting in the office, would ask them to tone it down ( same for straight couples).

[ThaiPauly]

As this is LOS...I would not worry about it..I don't think the rest of your staff will care much.

On the other hand something similar happened to me in the UK. My business partner (female) became attracted to a "Tom Boy girl" in the office.much younger than her..they started a relationship..her husband also worked in the Company.....as you can imagine it was disasterous and nearly wrecked our business. Luckily I was able to buy her out. The two of them started a Gay magazine, her Husbamd remarried and they al lived happily ever after to my knowledge

strange old world we live in...but each to their own I say

[Noel]

A very obvious relationship has recently formed between one of my secretaries and a Tom boy type from another department.

None of the other Thais in the buliding and office seem to mind but the caressing in the office between these two is what I would construe to be inappropriate behaviour but as the resident foreigner here I also don't want to intervene or upset the Thai office politics either.

Should I just hint that they should perhaps get a room or try and turn a blind eye to it? The book "working with the Thai's" doesn't seem to cover this subject.

Any ideas? What would you do?

Take them away from the work evironment and counsel them.

I do believe the cost of a hotel room would be justified.

If they do not let you join in, make sure to get some pics...

[jamesiha]

Just treat them as you would treat a straight couple... based on your personnal way of thinking...

either you consider it normal or youb tell them to be more discrete...

it all depends upon you.

[ColPyat]

A very obvious relationship has recently formed between one of my secretaries and a Tom boy type from another department.

None of the other Thais in the buliding and office seem to mind but the caressing in the office between these two is what I would construe to be inappropriate behaviour but as the resident foreigner here I also don't want to intervene or upset the Thai office politics either.

Should I just hint that they should perhaps get a room or try and turn a blind eye to it? The book "working with the Thai's" doesn't seem to cover this subject.

Any ideas? What would you do?

If the caressing is so obvious, and disturbs you, the do it a way that makes nobody lose face. Speak with someone under you, who you can trust, and who is respected by the women. Let that person quietly convey your feelings of applying a bit more discretion while in office.

[Sing_Sling]

Whether homo- or hetero, this has no place at work.

[aussiestyle1983]

Why dont you join in?

All jokes aside, this is Thailand, they are Thai so let it go......................

Them being Thai obviously know what is appropriate and not appropriate to do in a work place here. If they choose to behaive like that, let it be, im sure if someone else has a problem they will deal with it.

[rocky]

Whether homo- or hetero, this has no place at work.

Unless work is a beer Bar, Go Go Bar, Karaoke Bar or a a Soapy

[Maizefarmer]

Your company or do you just work there?

Tim

[John K]

If it is your money then you have the right to tell them that it is not work related. If they are keeping you or distracting you from your work, then you could tell your boss. Ultimately it is his decision because it is his money. If he has enough money and just wants some eye candy running around the office, just remember it is his money.

[LindsayBKK]

I would kindly let them know that everybody knows and they should not let it affect their work.

Thats it.

[Casanundra]

Your company or do you just work there?

Tim

I just work here as their foreign egg spurt

[fruittbatt]

English speaking Thai colleagues would probably be able to advise about whether the overt displays of affection are culturally acceptable in the office.

If the dalliance is interfering with the women's ability to work, then i think your concern is totally legitimate. If part of your duty is to streamline procedure and business practice, then I agree that you should treat them as you would a straight couple. If it is not your responsibility, then mention the matter to those who are responsible.

[taxexile]

thai women are often quite physical with each other in public , are you sure this is actual lesbiany ?

as one who has devoted many years to the study of lesbology , i think we need to know more before conclusions can be reached.

i suggest you watch them discreely for a while ( its called lesbionage ) and report back to us with details and more details. regularly.

[roguegirl]

thai women are often quite physical with each other in public , are you sure this is actual lesbiany ?

as one who has devoted many years to the study of lesbology , i think we need to know more before conclusions can be reached.

i suggest you watch them discreely for a while ( its called lesbionage ) and report back to us with details and more details. regularly.

Yes. Do remember. DETAILS, okay?

[PeaceBlondie]

I supervised 16 people, one of whom was a butch in her 50's, who had been living openly for many years with a femme grandmother in her 60's. It was open, and she introduced me to her 'partner.' If they'd started kissing at the desk, I would have told them to stop. The labor union contract required me to protect her against discrimination, but not to allow caresses. I never told her I was gay.

Earlier, I worked in an office where almost half the staff of 75 people were openly gay, males and females. One married lady took up with a young single girl, and their manager was a Baptist preacher's wife who was quite understanding, until the affair broke up the marriage.

///Moved to the Gay in Thailand Forum.

[cwilliam]

As this is LOS...I would not worry about it..I don't think the rest of your staff will care much.

On the other hand something similar happened to me in the UK. My business partner (female) became attracted to a "Tom Boy girl" in the office.much younger than her..they started a relationship..her husband also worked in the Company.....as you can imagine it was disasterous and nearly wrecked our business. Luckily I was able to buy her out. The two of them started a Gay magazine, her Husbamd remarried and they al lived happily ever after to my knowledge

strange old world we live in...but each to their own I say

Nobody lives happily ever after

[terry57]

A very obvious relationship has recently formed between one of my secretaries and a Tom boy type from another department.

None of the other Thais in the buliding and office seem to mind but the caressing in the office between these two is what I would construe to be inappropriate behaviour but as the resident foreigner here I also don't want to intervene or upset the Thai office politics either.

Should I just hint that they should perhaps get a room or try and turn a blind eye to it? The book "working with the Thai's" doesn't seem to cover this subject.

Any ideas? What would you do?

JES--US,

thats a very complex question but i have to tell you that im a lesbian too.

2 is fun but 3 is better.

cheers

[Donz]

Just set up some cameras and then tell them 2 they have to stay back and work overtime while the other staff have to go home.

[sungod]

I love this thread, only posted at lunch time and its got 524 views already, just wish there was as much interest last week when I was asking for advice on a computer problem. Took me a week to get a reply!!!!!!!

[alexth]

Do you have any more positions available in your company?

[slackula]

If you are in charge of the office then set a policy that overt displays of affection are inappropriate regardless of the situation.

If you condone hetero displays of affection between staff and condemn homo displays then that is wrong imho.

A place of business is just that, and all staff should conduct themselves in a business like manner whilst on the company dime imho.

[Pink Mist]

I think we need to move this over to the gay forum now.

[britmaveric]

If it doesnt interfere with work, leave it alone.

[LaoPo]

I love this thread, only posted at lunch time and its got 524 views already, just wish there was as much interest last week when I was asking for advice on a computer problem. Took me a week to get a reply!!!!!!!

If you would have made a headline like: "Problem with Lesbian Computer" I'm sure you would have solved your problem in just one day....!

LaoPo

[turnpike]

If you would have made a headline like: "Problem with Lesbian Computer" I'm sure you would have solved your problem in just one day....!

LaoPo

dammit, Laopo, you beat me to it....

[pedro01]

If they are a new couple - they'll be all 'touchy-feely' for a while.

Give them a few months - the novelty will wear off & they will calm down.

Pedro

[toptuan]

No one has really made the clear point that, generally, public displays of affection are frowned upon more in Thai culture than in western cultures. Therefore, their behavior is probably more offensive to other Thais in your office than it would be to westerners in a similar situation in the West.

Having said that, Bangkok is definitely less conservative than the rest of Thailand, and there would be more of a tendency to "push the cultural envelope" to the limit by your lesbian co-workers.

Personally, I would err on the side of conservativism and keep the workplace professional. Having been a manager of employees in an office situation (in the West) myself, I would not allow it among heteros OR gays, simply on the basis of maintaining a professional work environment. Even less, would I allow it in a Thai workplace because of the cultural taboo of public displays of affection (I know, I know, it's changing here, but still quite a bit different than the west).

My two cents....

[chiang mai]

thai women are often quite physical with each other in public , are you sure this is actual lesbiany ?

as one who has devoted many years to the study of lesbology , i think we need to know more before conclusions can be reached.

i suggest you watch them discreely for a while ( its called lesbionage ) and report back to us with details and more details. regularly.

Yes. Do remember. DETAILS, okay?

lesbiany, lebionage... all too funny