Do you pay her a salary? (I do.)

[humqdpf]

PT4, the world of corporate human resources has lost out when it comes to you!

I think that your approach will work perfectly well if she never moves in with you 100% and especially if she is not at your level of education - in other words, it works quite well in the case of a country girl who does not earn much to begin with. Moving in will blur the distinction between your money and stuff and her money and stuff. And an educated woman will probably not want to be put on a salary.

I am guessing that eventually this girlfriend arrangement will eventually break down as even a country girl will want to settle down permanently and live together with someone. But if you are OK with that, that will work. It also has the benefit of not losing much of your stuff when the breakup eventually happens.

[Stevemercer]

My Thai wife and I are both retired. She has no income while I get a modest Super pension. We are both in our 50s.

I give my wife a weekly 'salary' (as the Thais like to call it) of 5,000 Baht per week. She pays for all meals, food, household expenses and other day to day costs. I never pay when we go to a restaurant, including with her family or friends, she always pays. I don't check or otherwise say anything about her expenditure. I don't cook or otherwise do any housework.

I obviously pay for my own entertainment. I also pay for our car and medical insurance and one off capital expenses. I look after our garden, ponds and 'hobby farm'.

I think a woman needs to have her financial independence and this arrangement avoids some of the inevitable squabbles about money (I like to save and she likes to spend). The upside is we both have a free and easy life-style. The downside is I sometimes kid myself about the lifestyle I could lead if I were here by myself.

[elgordo38]

A refreshingly honest approach. It seems that many relationships here have a transactional basis. Quite sensible to be open and realistic about this.

Yes I give my g/f a weekly salary so that there is no hitups for extras. This arrangement works well. Yes I negotiated in good faith and Lord willin and the creek don't rise I will stay with her till my bitter end and she will move on with a good chunk of money which I feel she deserves. The poster however seems to take a transitional approach to a relationship. He seems ready to move on to greener pastures. What a sweetheart to let her keep working so that she has something to fall back on after he departs. Do they have butterflies in Thailand?

[luk AJ]

A refreshingly honest approach. It seems that many relationships here have a transactional basis. Quite sensible to be open and realistic about this.

yes , it seems like the correct thing to do , pay your ho a working wage . keep her dependent on old "whitey" . boost her self esteem by handing her cash every week because she is so "special" . dude you are 3 beer's short of a 12 pack . your lady and her girlfriends are laughing about how enlightened you think you are . partners do not pay each other cash . if you are secure in feelings on this i suggest you put her name on your bank account . what's that ? no ? i did not think so , it is time to see thing for what they truly are . your gfriend knows the score .

What do you mean with a "ho" ?

[elgordo38]

We split the bills.

Im the kind of person who would pay money to be left alone. Will never grasp the concept of paying for company, unless its a prostitute for a couple of hours.

You must really be a cheery guy to live with. Different strokes for different folks.

[mesterm]

A relationship is about sharing. If you pay a fee, salary or allowance you either have no relationship or are a very old fashioned couple...

Or she's really just a glorified hooker.

[BritManToo]

i ued to pay mine 3000thb/month to clean my guesthouse, however she was also working in a bar at the same time so it worked ok for both of us. now i pay her 15000thb/month as we have 2 kids. i also cover school and medical. all you haters are now going to say they would never have kids with a bar girl. my kids mum is probably the greatest mum i have ever seen.

No, I would have kids with a bar girl. When you split up they don't want the kids, so you can have them.

In the west, the women always want 100% custody because that entitles them to maximum maintenance and benefits.

Edited April 19, 2016 by BritManToo

[mesterm]

my missus does not work.

On the first of every month I transfer to her account 80k. From this she pays all the household bills (rent/electric/water/internet/cable tv etc etc) and makes sure there is always fresh bread, milk, beer in the fridge and ciggies in my office and covers any other miscellaneous expenditure (this month we had all the AC's serviced).

What ever is not spent is hers.

80k? What line of work are you in, just curious.

None of your business.

A big chunk of the 80k is actually my employer provided "house allowance" so not technically from my pocket.

Sounds like a big house. Good for you

[mesterm]

I give my wife a weekly 'salary' (as the Thais like to call it) of 5,000 Baht per week. She pays for all meals, food, household expenses and other day to day costs. I never pay when we go to a restaurant, including with her family or friends, she always pays. I don't check or otherwise say anything about her expenditure. I don't cook or otherwise do any housework.

Kinda like your mom then.

[thaiduncankk]

my missus does not work.

On the first of every month I transfer to her account 80k. From this she pays all the household bills (rent/electric/water/internet/cable tv etc etc) and makes sure there is always fresh bread, milk, beer in the fridge and ciggies in my office and covers any other miscellaneous expenditure (this month we had all the AC's serviced).

What ever is not spent is hers.

80k? What line of work are you in, just curious.

None of your business.

A big chunk of the 80k is actually my employer provided "house allowance" so not technically from my pocket.

Sounds like a big house. Good for you

Or big ego.

[laolover88]

I almost can't believe what I read on this thread.

It is like hearing throwbacks from the 1930s...".I am the head of the household stuff, Don't you worry your pretty head about that" , Pierpont Morgans dispensing houses as acts of generosity

I earn money

My wife earns money.

The household bills need to be paid. We need to eat. The children need money. It is all family money. We make decisions about expenditure, purchases, insurance or investments jointly. Basically everything comes out of one pot.The "idea' that there is "my money' or "her money" is an alien concept, We are two independent individuals who have chosen to share our lives. Of course if the occasion arose that one of us needed to be in some way dependent on the other we would deal with that. When the children were small my wife needed support. Now if I am sick and might need support it is much the same.. But of course this not the kind of relationship that can be maintained in many parts of the world

OK, now tell me how it makes any difference

You are two individuals who have chosen to share your lives, oh really......what does that even mean?

You make decisions on investments jointly do you. Really? Because she'd know what a Secured Non Convertible Debenture is. If she does, well great, if she doesnt, well so what, how does that make a difference

Why the concept that you are both supposed to be able to know, care and do everything equally? Where does that come from?

I am busy. I only just read this. Why is it some TV members find it necessary to be both stupid and offensive.?

You can't understand " share lives" You, then, must have never experienced the pleasure of mutual interests, activities, happinesses, perceptions, etc etc.. She knows perfectly well what a Secured Non Convertible Debenture is and if she did not she is capable of finding out and expressing an opinion.. As to your crass remark about " the concept" know, share, do I have little to say. Where do any culturally agreed concepts derive from. You tell me where understandings come from if you know so much about it. You have posted some intelligent threads and comments. Can't see what your problem is here!!

[Jim walker]

My father handed over his wage packet to my mother every Friday of his working life and my mother was not a hooker and anyone who said such a thing about her he would have punched their feeble minded lights out seems a lot I'd greedy people in this thread have issues with giving there wives some money can't understand greedy people the ones who sips a Leo alone in the corner of the bar all night looking for someone to buy him another

[georgemandm]

My Gf works and has her own money. I prefer it that way. The salary thing would make me feel like Im paying her to be with me. Thai guys dont pay salaries .

Very , very true I agree with why pay for someone to be with you it is a joke to pay .

[georgemandm]

Thankfully, my wife is with me because she loves me. I didn't hire a hooker.

Yes , yes , yes

[georgemandm]

16 years happily together, I pay monthly allowance with pleasure. Financially it doesn't hurt me a bit. Call it what you want, but in our case it clearly works.

Ok good it works what would happen if you stop paying her the money ? .

And don't tell me nothing because you have know idea till you stop it .

I would say if you stop paying her you would have lots of trouble.

[georgemandm]

The concept of a "housekeeping allowance" goes back centuries. Google it.

Anyway, I am the sole income earner and pay for everything. The Mrs doesn't get paid an allowance, however I give her cash (or she helps herself), and she has her own bank accounts.

Let's get one thing straight here, our partners deserve to have their own money.

I agree she should , but make her go and work for not get it for free .

[BritManToo]

My father handed over his wage packet to my mother every Friday of his working life and my mother was not a hooker and anyone who said such a thing about her he would have punched their feeble minded lights out seems a lot I'd greedy people in this thread have issues with giving there wives some money can't understand greedy people the ones who sips a Leo alone in the corner of the bar all night looking for someone to buy him another

The defining question would be 'would she leave him if he didn't hand over his wage?'

[mgjackson69]

Call it a salary, call it whatever you want.

I give my wife a certain amount of money per month for household expenses and enough extra for a reasonable amount of spending money for her.

From that she pays the internet bill, light bill, water bill, groceries. And in typical Thai fashion, the rest gets spent on "whatever".

We have one vehicle payment, which I pay via transfer from my local bank.

There is no way in hell I am going to give her access to my bank accounts, neither in Thailand or my "main" account in USA.

[jeab1980]

All you worry about is hookers or as they are called bar girls or girls working for making a living, funny these girls aren't thought any less by there families. Just forigners seem to be hung up on it. I don't know how many Christians here but hey wasn't Mary Mgdalen a hooker ???? Get over it, man has lots of women call Stud, Thai girl work in bar has many men, must whore, and no not been bar lady but I would have if needed too no shame in it at all.

Edited April 19, 2016 by jeab1980

[georgemandm]

My father handed over his wage packet to my mother every Friday of his working life and my mother was not a hooker and anyone who said such a thing about her he would have punched their feeble minded lights out seems a lot I'd greedy people in this thread have issues with giving there wives some money can't understand greedy people the ones who sips a Leo alone in the corner of the bar all night looking for someone to buy him another

You are so wrong , we are not talking about give the wife some money , he is saying a salary not the same .

No one is greedy who dose not pay a partner money just smart not stupid.

[BritManToo]

I always gave my Thai gfs money to have sex with me.

Didn't need anyone to fetch, carry, cook or clean, I'm liberated and can do it better myself.

Didn't need anyone to pay the bills either. It isn't hard to go down 7/11 with the invoice.

I'm too old to need a mother, and not lazy enough to need servants.

[SoiBiker]

If you have to pay a woman to have sex with you, she's not your girlfriend.

[Don Mega]

80k? What line of work are you in, just curious.

None of your business.

A big chunk of the 80k is actually my employer provided "house allowance" so not technically from my pocket.

Sounds like a big house. Good for you

Or big ego.

Big Ego ?.

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha.

It is what it is and to be honest iam over it and am looking forward to the day I get the hell outta here.

[HerbalEd]

(not sexy massage)

Yeah, right.

How could you possibly know either way. You can't. Or do you just assume he's like you?

[1happykamper]

The concept of a "housekeeping allowance" goes back centuries. Google it.

Anyway, I am the sole income earner and pay for everything. The Mrs doesn't get paid an allowance, however I give her cash (or she helps herself), and she has her own bank accounts.

Let's get one thing straight here, our partners deserve to have their own money.

I agree she should , but make her go and work for not get it for free .

This is just one of the new lows in stupidity for replies on TV for any topic.

In the USA my English wife stayed at out home.. she helped raise 3 children... I supported my wife and 3 kids just like many of you did I'm sure. Right?

So why do so many of the expats treat Thai females with such disdain? Treat women the same..fairly..lovingly..everywhere. Some of the comments on this topic clearly show anger and hatred towards females at several levels. For example..one of the first replies to the OP suggested that women are whores when any sort of financial help is given. Immature stupid angry comments. Appalling to read.

[HerbalEd]

I wouldn't brag about how little you give your girlfriend. Are you that poor, or just that cheap?

[1happykamper]

Thankfully, my wife is with me because she loves me. I didn't hire a hooker.

Another fine example of hatred towards women or/and a complete lack of understanding to the OP intention. Indirectly..You called the OP sweetheart a hooker. Makes you feel more manly being so arrogant?

[Kaalle]

We split the bills.

Im the kind of person who would pay money to be left alone. Will never grasp the concept of paying for company, unless its a prostitute for a couple of hours.

You must really be a cheery guy to live with. Different strokes for different folks.

Im not gonna disagree with you heh.

[BritManToo]

I don't know how many Christians here but hey wasn't Mary Mgdalen a hooker ????

I think there's a difference between a hooker friend, and a hooker wife.

Don't you?

[BritManToo]

If you have to pay a woman to have sex with you, she's not your girlfriend.

'Thai gf' was a euphemism, I've already had a couple of posts removed for being too blunt!

Edited April 19, 2016 by BritManToo