is Thailand a good place to find true love?

[todlad]

I don't argue with her indoors and that helps: there is nothing unsaid either

Can you explain what you mean about not arguing indoors? Is that so family don't hear? Is that going along with the theory to not poison the bedroom or house with arguments and bad feelings?

So you wait until you are in the car or whatever?

Ah! Apologies! In English English her indoors is the wife or significant other.

[Agent Sumo]

The ruling classes in Thailand and the educational system have gone a long way (for generations) to ensure that the vast majority of Thais are 'isolated' from information that we take for granted, (unless they go abroad for study/work).

Happily, social media is changing all that and it is becoming much harder to keep the ignorant 'ignorant'.

Consequently, far more Thai women have seen their curiosity about "enigmatic" foreign men replaced by shock at just how scummy many of us living in their country are and what we really think about them

[Agent Sumo]

I agree I need to get out from Patthaya to find a good girl

the point is , I would like to ask to those who have a thai partner: can you have a good communication with your partner?

What language do you speak with her?

I like to talk a lot with my partner and with a thai lady I wonder: can I have a great talk with my fiancee beyond the basic "what you eat" "where you go"?

I would have either to learn thai very well or have the lady learning english to a certain degree

Seriously? You want to learn a language just so you can select a woman from a small pool actually prepared to be with a foreigner?

95% of that pool will have zero knowledge about anything outside Thailand except Kim Kardashian's butt measurements and the next iPhone's features.

I don't suggest that it's impossible to find a worldly woman in Thailand but it's far easier in countries where people aren't hamstrung by an archaic education system designed to provide them with just enough knowledge to perform

Go to Singapore, even Malaysia - people speak English there and at least have some degree of sophistication - leave Thai women for those foreign guys who just want a piece of meat to huff and puff on and to fetch their meals

[theguyfromanotherforum]

I agree I need to get out from Patthaya to find a good girl

the point is , I would like to ask to those who have a thai partner: can you have a good communication with your partner?

What language do you speak with her?

I like to talk a lot with my partner and with a thai lady I wonder: can I have a great talk with my fiancee beyond the basic "what you eat" "where you go"?

I would have either to learn thai very well or have the lady learning english to a certain degree

Seriously? You want to learn a language just so you can select a woman from a small pool actually prepared to be with a foreigner?

95% of that pool will have zero knowledge about anything outside Thailand except Kim Kardashian's butt measurements and the next iPhone's features.

I don't suggest that it's impossible to find a worldly woman in Thailand but it's far easier in countries where people aren't hamstrung by an archaic education system designed to provide them with just enough knowledge to perform

Go to Singapore, even Malaysia - people speak English there and at least have some degree of sophistication - leave Thai women for those foreign guys who just want a piece of meat to huff and puff on and to fetch their meals

It's a brutal assessment and mostly true, but to be fair women in Malaysia or Singapore may even be worse. Unfortunately you can't beat the stupid trend.

[nausea]

From my own experience, I really don't see any fundamental difference between the women here and elsewhere. So the chances of finding "true love", if such a thing exists and however you might interpet it, are probably the same wherever you are. I think, maybe, the OPs problem stems from an illusion about his own perceived status, which seems to afflict many recent arrivees, hence his being upset when young women don't smile at him, hence the list of unrealistic expectations. Or maybe not, what do I know.

[soalbundy]

'True love', sounds rather adolescent, you maybe rather young or very inexperienced

[theguyfromanotherforum]

The proper way to say it is love u true

[soalbundy]

I know an old fella here who has been married to his Thai wife for 6 years. They or rather she has just had a daughter. I have a luk krung myself so i know what they look like, this child is pure Thai. I asked the missus who had spoken with his wife, the father is her Thai boyfriend. He is besotted with his 'true love' so he doesn't look too closely. If you have great expectations in anything it is sometimes better not to be too observant, one can make any dream a reality, at least for yourself and that is all that matters although donning a bit of armour can be useful

[Fabricus]

Thais are not intellectually curious people. It's unlikely you're ever gonna feel like any girl you meet here cares about you for who you are or loves you the way a western woman would.

Yep, that's true.

My relationships with Thais never compare with what I once had with English girls.

[Andre0720]

I agree I need to get out from Patthaya to find a good girl

the point is , I would like to ask to those who have a thai partner: can you have a good communication with your partner?

What language do you speak with her?

I like to talk a lot with my partner and with a thai lady I wonder: can I have a great talk with my fiancee beyond the basic "what you eat" "where you go"?

I would have either to learn thai very well or have the lady learning english to a certain degree

If you find a Thai girl in Pattaya who speaks fluent English, she is a seasoned one. Run away.

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

Thais are not intellectually curious people. It's unlikely you're ever gonna feel like any girl you meet here cares about you for who you are or loves you the way a western woman would.

Yep, that's true.

I also would concur that that's true, based on my experience with regular, "educated" Thai women, not those in the bar and such industry.

However, I don't think intellectual curiosity and love/caring necessarily have any correlation with each other. A person can be lacking in the first quality and still have plenty of the second quality, IMHO.

[soalbundy]

yet each man kills the thing he loves

by each let this be heard

some do it by a bitter look

some with a flattering word

The coward does it with a kiss

The brave man with a sword

Some kill their love when they are young

and some when they are old

Some strangle with the hands of lust

Some with the hands of gold

The kindest use a knife, because

the dead so soon grow cold

some love too little, some to long

some sell and others buy

some do the deed with many tears

some without a sigh

for each man kills the thing he loves

yet each man does not die

Oscar Wilde, 'The ballad of Reading Gaol'

[bamukloy]

My experience after one year.

The dating sites, TF and TC: I met some very good girls there. A few were office workers that had been at their work for over five years, i.e. Not pros.

Many people suggest snapchat for meeting girls. I haven't tried that. In the states it really was a "hookup" app. But I think it has evolved from that, and now a lot of people use it for dating.

I lived my entire year in Bkk. I speak only 30-50 words of Thai. I never met a girl on the street-meaning at a restaurant, or shop or mall. And I don't go to bars to meet girls.

My new plan is I have moved to the countryside. Many here on the forum suggest learning the language.

One thing about the countryside is I am more "active" not just sitting in a Bkk condo. So like others have suggested to you, I am living a life, and if someone happens into it, great.

Remember that finding a girl in your home country, a good girl, interesting, pretty, good natured, is very very difficult too.

I see here that many of the pretty girls, have been "taken" by the time they are 25 or 30. Normal.

I think any way to increase your "circle of friends" may help. I have a thought that if I met a person who was a local, and who saw I was a good guy. Perhaps he/she would think about girls in their life who need a man. If you pursue this somehow, the only suggestion I would make there is to have the friend show you a picture/data before any contact is initiated. Several times, over the past year, friends I know connected me on the LINE App with girls who were not my type (for example they had children).

For sure my perception of Pattaya is that the girls are mostly pros. I might be wrong. But I think better for you to get out of there.

It never ceases to amaze me when i see foriegners calling Thai girls "pros".

You are looking at it from a western viewpoint and really have no idea of life here.

In every country on the planet that has ( virtually) no welfare system, you will suddenly notice over 50% of women are "pros" (as you call it) out of neccesity to just survive.

As many posters have pointed out (thank you Simon) you can tell the semi-pros from the real pros in seconds, and sadly, neither have much between the ears.

After speaking Thai and knowing the so called "culture" for many years, i can only ascertain that the majority of Thais that are with farangs are "pros", to a certain extent..its just the level of "professionalness" that differs.

If you disagree, you only have to look at either

-30y.o Thai women with 60-70y.o farangs

-the other percentage of Thai women that are business professionals or well to do educated types in normal everyday life that would not even dream of striking up a conversation with farangs, let alone marrying them.

hint: they are the ones Thai guys wont touch with a bargepole

[Donutz]

After speaking Thai and knowing the so called "culture" for many years, i can only ascertain that the majority of Thais that are with farangs are "pros", to a certain extent..its just the level of "professionalness" that differs.

If you disagree, you only have to look at either

-30y.o Thai women with 60-70y.o farangs

-the other percentage of Thai women that are business professionals or well to do educated types in normal everyday life that would not even dream of striking up a conversation with farangs, let alone marrying them.

hint: they are the ones Thai guys wont touch with a bargepole

Good to see that you don't believe in a single Thai culture, as with any nations it's a mix and match of millions of individuals and any attempt of discribing a culture is a stereotype and simplification at best.

Mind you that there is a lot more variety then "30 year old Thai with 60-70 year old farang". The OP is in his 40's so I doubt he cares much about the group discribed by you.

And you can't lump sum the normal, educated Thai women as if they are a collective or that 'they' don't speak to farangs or have any interest in them what so ever. You may ofcourse question motives if a person says "I always wanted a Thai/farang/whatever spouse" , as if one feature is far more superior and important then all other features that an individual may bring to the table (or lack).

I doubt you spoke with each and every educated Thai female, you most likely missed my late wife when you went about talking to these type of women. She started the conversation with me as I walked by, her being the curious type of what this silly farang was doing there far from any tourist area and me, although enjoying talking with people from any nationality, background, age, gender etc. Not really being able open a conversation with every damn soul that crossed my path. And I'm glad that our small talk conversation, to which neither she or I drew any conclusions or hopes because "nice to have met an other friendly human being" eventually let to a relationship, marriage, lots of love, smiles and eventually to death. She was my winning lottery ticket but know there are plenty of other fish out there, and with a good mix of common sense and luck people can find the partner that will make them happy.

[Berkshire]

Thais are not intellectually curious people. It's unlikely you're ever gonna feel like any girl you meet here cares about you for who you are or loves you the way a western woman would.

Yep, that's true.

I also would concur that that's true, based on my experience with regular, "educated" Thai women, not those in the bar and such industry.

However, I don't think intellectual curiosity and love/caring necessarily have any correlation with each other. A person can be lacking in the first quality and still have plenty of the second quality, IMHO.

I haven't met too many farangs in Thailand who are "intellectually curious." Do you guys even know what that means? Talking with your mates about stuff that you know and are interested in is not intellectual curiosity.

[Fabricus]

Thais are not intellectually curious people. It's unlikely you're ever gonna feel like any girl you meet here cares about you for who you are or loves you the way a western woman would.

Yep, that's true.

I also would concur that that's true, based on my experience with regular, "educated" Thai women, not those in the bar and such industry.

However, I don't think intellectual curiosity and love/caring necessarily have any correlation with each other. A person can be lacking in the first quality and still have plenty of the second quality, IMHO.

I haven't met too many farangs in Thailand who are "intellectually curious." Do you guys even know what that means? Talking with your mates about stuff that you know and are interested in is not intellectual curiosity.

I think you have a very limited understanding of this country's culture and its education system.

There is a very good reason why many westerners observe that Thais are not "intellectually curious". It's because, on the whole, they're not.

The average westerner here in Thailand has a degree of curiosity that makes Thais, by comparison, seem like naive little children.

Try dropping your apologist act and perhaps you'll see the bigger picture.

[eldragon]

Thais are not intellectually curious people. It's unlikely you're ever gonna feel like any girl you meet here cares about you for who you are or loves you the way a western woman would.

Yep, that's true.

However, I don't think intellectual curiosity and love/caring necessarily have any correlation with each other.

They do if you want a girl that cares what you think and feel.

[eldragon]

Thais are not intellectually curious people. It's unlikely you're ever gonna feel like any girl you meet here cares about you for who you are or loves you the way a western woman would.

Yep, that's true.

I also would concur that that's true, based on my experience with regular, "educated" Thai women, not those in the bar and such industry.

Oddly, the ones in the bar seem more curious. Probably bc most of em didnt finish school and weren't taught to repress their thoughts.

[eldragon]

Thais are not intellectually curious people. It's unlikely you're ever gonna feel like any girl you meet here cares about you for who you are or loves you the way a western woman would.

Yep, that's true.

I also would concur that that's true, based on my experience with regular, "educated" Thai women, not those in the bar and such industry.

However, I don't think intellectual curiosity and love/caring necessarily have any correlation with each other. A person can be lacking in the first quality and still have plenty of the second quality, IMHO.

I haven't met too many farangs in Thailand who are "intellectually curious." Do you guys even know what that means? Talking with your mates about stuff that you know and are interested in is not intellectual curiosity.

I guess it's a vague term, but to me it's always meant being interested in other people and things. Wanting to know new things for the sake of knowing. I don't feel this from Thais very often.

[StreetCowboy]

Thais are not intellectually curious people. It's unlikely you're ever gonna feel like any girl you meet here cares about you for who you are or loves you the way a western woman would.

Yep, that's true.

I also would concur that that's true, based on my experience with regular, "educated" Thai women, not those in the bar and such industry.

Oddly, the ones in the bar seem more curious. Probably bc most of em didnt finish school and weren't taught to repress their thoughts.

You're right. Whenever I'm in a bar in Thailand there's girls interested to know where I'm from, why I'm in Thailand, what's my job....

[Fabricus]

I also would concur that that's true, based on my experience with regular, "educated" Thai women, not those in the bar and such industry.

Oddly, the ones in the bar seem more curious. Probably bc most of em didnt finish school and weren't taught to repress their thoughts.

You're right. Whenever I'm in a bar in Thailand there's girls interested to know where I'm from, why I'm in Thailand, what's my job....

Eldragon's point is well observed. I'd never thought of that before.

The fact that these girls aren't part of "mainstream" or "respectable" society may also play a part.

[Phaeton]

It never ceases to amaze me when i see foriegners calling Thai girls "pros".

You are looking at it from a western viewpoint and really have no idea of life here.

In every country on the planet that has ( virtually) no welfare system, you will suddenly notice over 50% of women are "pros" (as you call it) out of neccesity to just survive.

You realize that you are calling most of the woman in Thailand, in the the world, whores?

Sorry, that's not telling it like it is. That's just not correct.

Donutz gave you an example, but it doesn't matter, because you want to see these woman through your worldview. I have met two or three girls this year, office girls, that are not what you say. Just because a girl considers, to some extent, a guys financial state, she's a pro? That's what you're saying?

That happens in the western world too. So they are pros too? Some girl who picks the accountant over the struggling musician?

Sorry, there's a big difference between a girl who sleeps with 2-3 guys a night, and a girl who sleeps with 1-10 on her way to finding her way to a farang.

[eldragon]

I also would concur that that's true, based on my experience with regular, "educated" Thai women, not those in the bar and such industry.

Oddly, the ones in the bar seem more curious. Probably bc most of em didnt finish school and weren't taught to repress their thoughts.

You're right. Whenever I'm in a bar in Thailand there's girls interested to know where I'm from, why I'm in Thailand, what's my job....

Eldragon's point is well observed. I'd never thought of that before.

The fact that these girls aren't part of "mainstream" or "respectable" society may also play a part.

Easiest way to spot a bar girl is they say and do what they want. Seems very opposite to your average Thai good girl, but fairly characteristic of a typical western one.

[StreetCowboy]

It never ceases to amaze me when i see foriegners calling Thai girls "pros".

You are looking at it from a western viewpoint and really have no idea of life here.

In every country on the planet that has ( virtually) no welfare system, you will suddenly notice over 50% of women are "pros" (as you call it) out of neccesity to just survive.

You realize that you are calling most of the woman in Thailand, in the the world, whores?

Sorry, that's not telling it like it is. That's just not correct.

Donutz gave you an example, but it doesn't matter, because you want to see these woman through your worldview. I have met two or three girls this year, office girls, that are not what you say. Just because a girl considers, to some extent, a guys financial state, she's a pro? That's what you're saying?

That happens in the western world too. So they are pros too? Some girl who picks the accountant over the struggling musician?

Sorry, there's a big difference between a girl who sleeps with 2-3 guys a night, and a girl who sleeps with 1-10 on her way to finding her way to a farang.

?They have different jobs?

One's a hard-working tradeswoman, one's a gold-digging fortune-seeker?

One's the victim of prejudice, one is a 'trophy wife'?

You'll need to make your point more clearly.

[Phaeton]

?They have different jobs?

One's a hard-working tradeswoman, one's a gold-digging fortune-seeker?

One's the victim of prejudice, one is a 'trophy wife'?

You'll need to make your point more clearly.

No, it's okay, you have it all figured out. You've convinced me. Any girl who marries a farang, is a gold-digging fortune seeker.

[Moo du]

It never ceases to amaze me when i see foriegners calling Thai girls "pros".

You are looking at it from a western viewpoint and really have no idea of life here.

In every country on the planet that has ( virtually) no welfare system, you will suddenly notice over 50% of women are "pros" (as you call it) out of neccesity to just survive.

You realize that you are calling most of the woman in Thailand, in the the world, whores?

Sorry, that's not telling it like it is. That's just not correct.

Donutz gave you an example, but it doesn't matter, because you want to see these woman through your worldview. I have met two or three girls this year, office girls, that are not what you say. Just because a girl considers, to some extent, a guys financial state, she's a pro? That's what you're saying?

That happens in the western world too. So they are pros too? Some girl who picks the accountant over the struggling musician?

Sorry, there's a big difference between a girl who sleeps with 2-3 guys a night, and a girl who sleeps with 1-10 on her way to finding her way to a farang.

Excuse me "'there is a big difference between a girl who sleeps with 2-3 and a girl who sleeps 1-10 A NIGHT?

Please keep on posting as I find you hillarious.

[Phaeton]

Excuse me "'there is a big difference between a girl who sleeps with 2-3 and a girl who sleeps 1-10 A NIGHT?

Please keep on posting as I find you hillarious.

Your wish is my command:

1-10 in her life, 1-10 in her dating career, versus a pro, who might do 2-3 per night.

[Berkshire]

I haven't met too many farangs in Thailand who are "intellectually curious." Do you guys even know what that means? Talking with your mates about stuff that you know and are interested in is not intellectual curiosity.

I think you have a very limited understanding of this country's culture and its education system.

There is a very good reason why many westerners observe that Thais are not "intellectually curious". It's because, on the whole, they're not.

The average westerner here in Thailand has a degree of curiosity that makes Thais, by comparison, seem like naive little children.

Try dropping your apologist act and perhaps you'll see the bigger picture.

Your ignorance is breathtaking. Most westerners who bring up intellectual curiosity don't even know what it means. For example, a foreigner who comes to Thailand and is genuinely intellectually curious would be interested to learn not only the language, but the culture, value system, history, beliefs, and all manner of information related to their chosen home. Do you know many farangs like that? I think not. There's nothing wrong with that, but it just means they lack intellectual curiosity. Most farangs that I meet mostly want to talk about things that they know and understand, nothing beyond that.

Next time you decide to chime in, at least have a clue of what you're talking about. Otherwise, you come across as a total buffoon.

[Berkshire]

I also would concur that that's true, based on my experience with regular, "educated" Thai women, not those in the bar and such industry.

However, I don't think intellectual curiosity and love/caring necessarily have any correlation with each other. A person can be lacking in the first quality and still have plenty of the second quality, IMHO.

I haven't met too many farangs in Thailand who are "intellectually curious." Do you guys even know what that means? Talking with your mates about stuff that you know and are interested in is not intellectual curiosity.

I guess it's a vague term, but to me it's always meant being interested in other people and things. Wanting to know new things for the sake of knowing. I don't feel this from Thais very often.

I read an article once where a guy was talking about how all these Thai women he spoke to wasn't the least bit interested to know anything about him. Instead of seeing the obvious (that these women simply weren't interested in him), he decides to label them as not being intellectually curious. That's usually the context of where this term is used.

[soalbundy]

stop arguing lads,we are talking about true luuuuuve here