Going to Court AFTER the Divorce & Do you know a great custody lawyer?

[onpermanentvacation]

My ex-wife can't seem to leave me in peace even now after 2+ years have passed since our divorce.

I am not into lawyers and courts (who is anyway?) but I am now considering to take that route since I've had enough of this.

I am hoping someone more familiar with Thai laws and customs than I am will be kind enough to offer some advice.

Here is a quick overview of the situation:

• We divorced peacefully. We made a written agreement that was signed at the government office and that served as the basis for the official terms of our divorce.
  
• We share custody of our 6 year old son 50-50. He is supposed to stay half time with me and half time with his mother.
  
• Part of our agreement was also financial support (fixed monthly amount), that I have been sending her every month since we divorced. This includes both support for her and covers the expenses for our child while he is staying with her. This amount is $600 USD or around 21,000 THB at the moment.
  
• I live in a nice two bedroom house with my girlfriend (monogamously) for 3 years already. I have good income and am in good standing with immigration (regular yearly extensions, money in bank, work permit, company owner, etc.)
  
• Ex-wife lives more like a gipsy, between Thailand and Bali, where her lover is. She changed several partners over the past 3-4 years (not judging at all, just mentioning as it may be relevant if we come to court).
  
• When my son stays with me, we are a happy bunch. However, when under mother's influence he usually says he wants to stay with her only. I am pretty certain that if any judge asked him about this, he would say he prefers to stay with his mom. But if one would care to dig deeper and get the true answer, he would most probably say that he wished both of us lived with him in the same house. He sometimes says this clearly, but most times he just takes the side of his mom and prefers to stay with her, until he gets fed up with her and asks to go back to me.
  
• My gf and I are relatively well known and respected people in the local Thai and farang community.
  
• Ex-wife is also known in the local community but there's a kind of a silent (and sometimes not so silent) war going on between her and my gf. So it's a bit of a silly contest of who will win the approval and respect of the village. Since my new partner is a more down to Earth, Isan Thai, friendly charming person, and my ex is more of a BKK girl.. overly serious hi-so "Chinese bitch" who tends to look down on people, it seems that the ex is losing the war, and she is not taking it well.
  
• Ever since we divorced there was some drama going on. Either she's complaining about gossip done by my gf or she is gossiping her, or she is complaining that the agreement is not fair and asking for more money or she is furious about my diet choices and influence on our child (I eat vegan which drives her nuts) or there's something else... I tried responding nicely, I tried ignoring calmly, I tried being tough, I tried offering a new agreement, but none of the approaches makes any difference. She just seems to want to be unhappy and feel like a victim.
  
• Culmination came a few days ago when she simply took our son to Bangkok without me knowing or agreeing with it. She didn't bring him back when she was supposed to and he is not attending his classes (this is his second week of first term of first grade). Since she is acting like she doesn't care and she is ignoring my calls and messages, I will most likely go to police and report kidnapping. After that I am considering getting a capable lawyer and going to court to remove her as our son's custodian. I would still let her see him when she wants, but I want to avoid these ridiculous games and want to have full right to stop her from doing something like this again.

Do you have any relevant experience? Any advice?

Do I have a case here? How likely are the Thai courts to side with the mother even if I am able to show that I have a stable, family situation at home as opposed to her irregular lifestyle and much lower income? Will they take child's opinion into consideration?

Do you know a very good lawyer who specialises in this type of cases?

Any help will be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Edited May 3, 2016 by GoldmundBKK

[blackcab]

Immediately cut off all financial support. That will get her attention.

Next, set the rules, which is you don't want her in your life and you don't want to hear from her or hear about her from someone else. If you do, the cash stops.

Seriously, your selfish and inconsiderate behaviour must drive your girlfriend nuts. Kick your ex to the curb, take control and move on.

You act weak, so your ex wife takes liberties. It's your own fault.

[Morakot]

Stopping the agreed payments will be counter-productive if the OP wants to peruse a legal avenue.

Mr Goldmund, any meaningful attempt of getting sole custody of your child needs to show that the mother is interfering with the well-being of the child. The fact the mother speaks badly of your new partner and has a condensing attitude towards your lifestyle, is mostly irrelevant. However, that she seems to prevent your child from attending school might be an important issue for a court.

You (your counsel) needs to demonstrate that you are a suitable parent who acts in the best interest of your child. It also needs to be shown that the other party is an obvious impediment to the welfare and excepted development of the child. Whether a one off instance of missing school could be construed as such I don't know.

You might want to think, what you want. If you want the mother just to wise up and make sure she doesn't disrupt the life of your child, stopping payment temporarily can possibly achieve this. This however may also render you vulnerable, if the other party uses this, as a case to demonstrate neglect of your duties, in a bid to secure sole custody.

From your post you seem like a well-balanced and thoughtful person. I'd say, don't get wound up by the game your former wife is playing. I cannot recommend a lawyer, but wish you best of luck.

Edited May 4, 2016 by Morakot

[onpermanentvacation]

Thank you, Morakot.

I checked with the school this morning. They say my son was last seen at school on Wednesday last week. So this is already one week that he didn't attend classes.

Also, I have reason to suspect she is now in Bali. And still no response from her whatsoever.

I will definitely go to the police now.