Relationship Advice Needed

[John K]

I tend to agree that alopecia is a possibility. The cause is emotion related. Also the description you describe suggests a rather extreme condition. I agree she needs help and very possibly some form of medication. I do know from experience with 2 clients that did have alopecia, the problem will stop and reverse when their mental state is stable and positive. Unfortunately the continued loss of hair feeds the negative emotional state. I would first look for things that were in her life before the onset that are no longer there, a security blanket if you would think of it that way. Again from your description her aggression towards you is a cry for help. She may not understand why she needs to go to a professional but if she can be made to understand that her emotions are causing her hair loss, I suspect she would be more receptive. She does not want to lose you and her actions show she does not know how to make that happen. She is using an aggressive approach that unfortunately has the opposite effect. Perhaps she learned this from Thaksin (not meant as a joke or pun). You have an opportunity to be very influential in her life or you can jump ship. Ironically you can be more effective than professional help if you know how because she seems to see you as the center of her life at the moment.

Edited November 7, 2006 by John K

[HenryB]

I’ve read a few threads of men needing advice with there relationships and have been impressed with the advice some of you have posted.

Firstly, I feel ashamed I have to ask for advice on a public forum. However, I have none else to turn to that would understand. I would have asked my mates back home, but they would just say “leave her man, it will be ok”. I could also have asked my family for advice, but I don’t want to worry them.

Here goes:

I met my girlfriend a year ago, put her into Beauty school which lasted a year and has just finished. Over the last 6 months things have been getting bad, really bad. She argues with me in public, has tried killing herself either by drinking bleach or attempting to jump of the balcony, has punched me full blown in the face and has also said some very nasty things. We mostly argue over the littlest of things like me asking what she wants for dinner or I say no if she wants me to buy her something. I would guess we have 3 big arguments per week, the other times we get along ok, apart from my social life has stopped. She threatens that she will do something stupid if I go out, so instead we have an argument and I normally just sit on my PC. I’m too scared to go out in case she does something stupid.

So, you are probably thinking “get out of there” … If only it was that easy.

I wanted to wait until she had left school until I did something about it, as I know she could not support herself without me, she also doesn’t know anyone in Bangkok.

The biggest hurdle is that her hair is falling out, big time. She has got some dieses that the doctors can not cure, it’s just a matter of waiting until it gets better. I have tried to help, taking her to 3 doctors in Bangkok and a specialist in Singapore. But they all say the same, nothing they can do. To be honest, I feel sorry for her. She feels that she is no longer beautiful, which I can completely understand.

She has also said that she will hunt me down if I leave her, which will be easy as she knows where I work. She said that if I brake up with her she will make sure I’m on TV (Don’t know exactly what she meant by this but I’m sure you get the idea.)

I care for her, as I would anyone I have spent a year with. But I do know that it’s not going to last so I want out. I just want to be happy and enjoy life.

Any thought on how I can handle this?

Buy her a house in Bangkok and one up country and send money to her family.

At least she will be a little happy for a week. until she wants more.

Best of Luck

[HenryB]

I'm thinking you are a troll but in the case that you are not, here is your advice:

Go to CD Warehouse and buy the movie "Sunset Boulevard". This is a 1950 movie but timeless and very relevant in your case. It is ranked #30 on IMDB for good reason. Watch this movie from beginning to end. It will enlighten you and you'll figure out what to do after you see it.

A great understanding a great post.

[ThaiPauly]

Mods – Please close this thread.

Any Mods around?

[meadish_sweetball]

Closed.