The stuttering parrot Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 How many times have you heard that and how do you handle it? I was supposed to go with a mate on a three day trip recently and yet he pulled out at the last moment when he asked the mrs if she's ok with it and got the old up to you routine. I asked why it's only a golf trip but he just said he didn't want to upset the apple cart so he missed out and the rest of us enjoyed. I'm not sure whether up to you is just a saying or an ultimatum as it has never affected me but on this occasion it sure affected him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedghog Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 So why didn't your mate go on the trip.? It was up to him. Does, up to you,have a different meaning if you are married? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colinneil Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 How many times have i heard it. Every day i get told the same !! up to you !! It drives me crazy. Whats for dinner darling up to you, what you want. When an i get in to my wheelchair, up to you, no its not i cannot do it without assistance. So how is it up to me?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaullyW Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 (edited) If a mate regularly uses 'up to you', she probably with doesn't much care what hubby does and likewise may not enjoy his company all that much or she may be a traditional type of Thai woman who wants the man to make decisions. She may find it rather unattractive that the man is in effect asking permission Edited July 18, 2016 by PaullyW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carib Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 If it is up to me, I act accordingly. If the other person is not pleased with that I say that it was up to me and therefor I made my decision, and to stop complaining. I don't like those "up to you games", and if someone wants me to play they will discover that I take it just like it sounds. There are some fast-learners with this method. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sipi Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 I use it to wind my Mrs up, playfully... "Which shirt should I wear Darling?" "Up to you" "Should I have a coffee?" "Up to you" "Should I go to the toilet?" "Give me a break Sipi" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The stuttering parrot Posted July 19, 2016 Author Share Posted July 19, 2016 All he told me hedgehog is she might not be to happy if he went. I thought it's a little bit of emotional blackmail because if he did go those three little lines would have been on his mind the whole trip. Bit weak on both their parts for mine. One for saying it and the other for not calling the bluff. Whether there was something else behind it I don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deepinthailand Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Well it's better than her saying. Do what you want you fat bald headed ATM. Isn't it???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 A a "golf" trip.. messing around with caddies and such. I can understand that his Mrs was not happy. No one in their right mind would go on a real golf trip that is almost as boring as lifting weights. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaidDown Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 'Up to You' Translation... It's not up to you, I've already decided what answer I require, you had better respond correctly. Of course whether you wish to play those games.. 'Up to you' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mosha Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Up to you depends on the situation.. At it's most serious, its like when a Western woman says "Go ahead" and you know it's a challenge, not permission. I think that's what the Op:s mate was getting. Sent from my SMART_4G_Speedy_5inch using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jdiddy Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 She is testing you to see if you can make the right decision to meet both of your needs, she wants you to feel like you are the boss but at the same time being aware of her feelings and needs and respecting them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deepinthailand Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Come on people it's a well known Bar girl phrase. Been used since at least 1972 first time I came. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent Sumo Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 How many times have i heard it. Every day i get told the same !! up to you !! It drives me crazy. Whats for dinner darling up to you, what you want. When an i get in to my wheelchair, up to you, no its not i cannot do it without assistance. So how is it up to me?? If you're hearing that every day, your wife might be becoming somewhat indifferent to you. Maybe make more of an effort to inject some fun into your marriage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donutz Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 (edited) Never, as my teerak insisted on learning Dutch ASAP when she immigrated to here. In the beginning I'd would fall back on English sometimes but she would not be amused. In Dutch she'd rarely ask me tell me "up to you" (dat moet je zelf weten) just as I would rarely tell her. If asking the other on what cloths would match best or what would be the best choice of activity to pick we'd talk about it and give eachother a normal answer with motivations or other feedback. Up to you rarely is an approperiate answer, if usee often I'd start wonder if both partners are seriously investing in the relationship or if they are moving apart and becomming indifferent to eachother. So how I would handle this if I heard it on a daily basis? I'd be concerned about my relationship. If you got "up to you" s from day one I'd wonder if your partner either really is invested in a genuine love relationship or if the partner might not be the most brightest person around and lacking the ability to motivate preferences. The one couple I know, atleast from what I can tell, with an "up to you" relationship seems to both lack passion and she is a bit simple... Not a bad person but not really spouse material either, good luck trying to be with a person which you cannot talk with for hours, have normal discussions are getting the brains together to solve or do something. For those who are more into a "take care" relationship (to each his/her own, askong as you are happy) who isn't too bothered with lack of real talks: perhaps a lot of "mai pen rai's" will di the trick: "Darling shall I *activity*?" , darling: "up to you" reply with "oh mai pen rai" abd do whatever you want and be generous with mai pen rais in all other situations. Edited July 19, 2016 by Donutz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieH Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Couple of ways to interpret it, "You make the choice and if it goes wrong its not my fault" " you can decide , I hate making decisions" "you decide, but choose wisely" "Not my place to tell you what to do, you are the head of the house, its your decision to make not mine" All depends on the circumstances really, but usually one of the above fits. Tone, facial expression and eye contact will tell you more clearly, but usually that depends on how well you know your partner, sometimes "a look" is all that's needed and speaks volumes ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donutz Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 ‘Im missing “Up to you, you and I are both adults so I think you are very much capable of making your own decisions” and “Up to you, stop nagging me with stupid questions, you’re such an dek noi”. Head of the household? Sounds a bit old fashioned. I’d be hoping for a “we are both equally responsible but you don’t need my permission for everything” . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldgent Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 here is 5000 baht honey you want to go shopping... up to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayk Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 (edited) I've heard it so many times from many different people that I now say it myself, just to piss people off. Edited July 19, 2016 by Rayk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickJ Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Use it a few times on Thais and judger there reaction. My Gf doesnt like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ukrules Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Use it a few times on Thais and judger there reaction. My Gf doesnt like it. I've done this, it shuts them up immediately. They don't like it either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ireland32 Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 I just started saying to the GF, I never hear it now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fey Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 (edited) sorry, this sounds a little like what happened with my neighbor and i awhile back.turns out it was a control issue between us. i had things to do, and he wanted me to do something else. lets remove the gf from the equation altogether, since that's not really your business, right? Edited July 20, 2016 by fey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyk Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 She is right.she's asking you to think about it as she does'nt realise the situation & also the expat is scared she's gonna do short time while he's away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deepinthailand Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 She is right.she's asking you to think about it as she does'nt realise the situation & also the expat is scared she's gonna do short time while he's away Which of course they will anyway. So up to you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yooyung Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 I stopped worrying about it years ago. It used to pee me off but then, I made the decision that, if everything is up to me.....I will just do whatever the hell it is I want! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IMA_FARANG Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 (edited) So why didn't your mate go on the trip.? It was up to him. Does, up to you,have a different meaning if you are married? ------------------------------------ Oh yes, to a Thai woman, "up to you" has a very different meaning if you are married or even in a "serious relationship" as girlfriend and boyfriend. It can also mean to a Thai woman, "watch your a--, your about to cross the line, buddy". I know, I've been there. What you choose to do then is (English meaning) "up to you".....as in your choice. Edited July 22, 2016 by IMA_FARANG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deepinthailand Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 So why didn't your mate go on the trip.? It was up to him. Does, up to you,have a different meaning if you are married? ------------------------------------Oh yes, to a Thai woman, "up to you" has a very different meaning if you are married or even in a "serious relationship" as girlfriend and boyfriend. It can also mean to a Thai woman, "watch your a--, your about to cross the line, buddy". I know, I've been there. What you choose to do then is (English meaning) "up to you".....as in your choice. All this for 3 words if you wild have stood up to them when you met each other instead of thinking with your manhood. Those 3 words would have no meaning you all seem to think it's some kind of warning. Rubish as I've said before its bar girl words. "Do you want to go back to hotel with me "up to you". No deep meaning how much "up to you" if you have let your women issue ultimates like the op's mate your fault I suggest you grow some Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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