The week that was in Thailand news: No Sex Please – we’re Thai.

[rooster59]

The week that was in Thailand news: No Sex Please – we’re Thai.

The Thais have a lovely expression that was never far from my thoughts this week – “huaroh fan ruang” - to laugh so much that your teeth fall out. By Thursday I needed dentures.

I was thinking of contacting the tourism minister to see if her proposals to introduce insurance for visitors would cover the cost of some new gnashers – until I read the small print.

It was so tiny that now I have squinted myself into needing new specs – I can’t win.

At least the laughs kept coming and they were all the better because the protagonists weren’t even trying to be funny. Government, police, monks – even foreigners themselves provided so many rib tickling moments I was beginning to think someone would catch on and we would have to start paying a laughing tax to stay in the kingdom.

Top billing went to Spoil Sports and Tourism Minister Khun Kobkarn who is now starting to rival some of the country’s seemingly ever present police for top billing in the photo opportunity stakes.

Thaivisa must have been thrilled with her commitment to their cause after the number of clicks following her “ban sex in Thailand” tirade nearly crashed the site.

“Tourists don’t come to Thailand for sex,” she opined. “They come here for our beautiful culture. We want Thailand to be about quality tourism.”

Then finally: “We want the sex industry gone”.

I was wondering what this “we” referred to. Thais in general? The government? The tourists themselves? I drew a blank….no it must be the minister and the lady down the street who always makes her somtam, and likes to say things to please her favorite customer.

I am afraid it all reminded me of an old joke about the smartest thing to ever come out of a woman’s mouth – Einstein’s todger.

But I wish the honorable minister all the luck in the world with her initiative. It is high time thirty per cent of the population found a more upright job. And if nothing else, it is going to be so much fun watching her noble quest become utterly dead in the water – rather akin to previous efforts to save the tourists on speedboats down south.

But fear not, quality tourism was already on show the length and breadth of the kingdom this week. From Chiang Mai to Phi Phi tourists showed they were not only prepared to get fully involved in the life of the country but also that they knew about the finer points of Thai culture as well.

I was even expecting Khun Weera at the Culture Ministry to make a comeback.

A case in point was the Aussie bicyclist who was seen ‘wai-ing’ in contrition in the north after his reckless ride up Doi Suthep. He would only have needed to have been here five minutes to see nothing wrong with using the right side of the road – rather than the left.

Everyone does after all.

Maybe it was just the video that the cops objected to, so they laid in wait and nabbed him. But all was okay when he clasped his hands somewhere near his navel and begged forgiveness. Smiles all round. A quality tourist who knows his place.

Also flying the flag – if not the kite – were the two foreigners helping each other to Nirvana in Phi Phi. They must have thought the high street was where you did drugs. Thais on the scene rushed to get their mobiles out to film the rather public blow-job and predictably condemn the miscreants.

Blow me if they didn’t stop mid flow and offer another apologetic ‘wai’ before going on their merry way. These tourists sure are getting the hang of the culture.

But as if these stories were not enough along came an absolute corker in the shape of the raid on a karaoke shop in Pattaya by a bunch of cops with nothing better to do. What could possibly go wrong as they burst into the premises to frame one of the girls into admitting human trafficking?

It was just a pity, from their perspective, that they had not checked that the owner was a close friend of the commissioner of police.

Naturally she phoned him and when he called back the cretinous cops pooh-poohed the whole idea that it was Mr Big on the line.

They even suggested that it would be a good jape to pin the human trafficking charge onto the bosses all within earshot of their chiefs.

Needless to say there were a couple of people who were not amused and an inquiry is underway. Pattaya police are investigating – now there’s an oxymoron.

If only there was a charge of ‘crass stupidity in the execution of extortion’ we might get justice.

In Bangkok acting police chief Sanit Mahathavorn lived up to his title with a lovely bit of impromptu showmanship outside a police station.

Though some unkind forum posters thought he was acting the fool he said that he was actually “showing the lurve” – in this case encouraging a bunch of youths up for attempted murder to turn the other cheek if challenged online by smiling and making some nice hand gestures. He even make a jolly heart shape with another senior cop.

The boys in prison fatigues didn’t seem to get the point keeping their heads down. They were probably more worried about their parents facing charges as was the case with the street racers rounded up last Sunday.

In fact, those were not the only parents with glum faces this week. In Rangsit a 28 year old ‘boy’ dropped to the floor to “graap” his mum asking for forgiveness for robbing her of a million baht.

Not to pay for the baby milk I might add but to treat someone called a VJ Girl in a chat room. Mum seemed unimpressed and gave him a few days to make sure he didn’t reoffend.

Lo and behold he did – mum indeed knew best and made sure the cops charged him with theft.

Murder of the week was the death of an Indian man who was dumped in a ditch – weighed down by a cement stool. The first known case, I believe, of Indians passing a cement stool.

The stool – something you sit on actually - was taken back to the Sukhothai restaurant and found to fit very nicely with one missing from the place. Two Indian workers have denied it all but DNA evidence will be the judge.

Hardly CSI but a step in the right direction for the constabulary who this week were ordered to speed up reforms with crime scene investigations in particular slated for improvement. That may come a little late for certain people on Koh Tao as the schedule for change is up to 20 years.

Plenty of time to just forget all about it and carry on as normal.

Meanwhile there were interesting goings on down south when a husband complained to medical authorities that surgeons operated on the wrong side of his wife’s abdomen. She had an ectopic pregnancy forming outside the uterus and was adamant that it was on the left side.

But the white coat refused to believe the family and operated on the other side – despite evidence from a clinic.

Several weeks later the poor woman complained of more aches and pains and the baby was found on the other side. The hospital had to do another operation then circled the wagons saying that it was a one in 200,000 case of a pregnancy on BOTH sides.

The mother – who now cannot bear children - will seek justice with the Health Ministry.

Another case where the Thai medical profession might have womb for improvement.

In many ways it was rather a quiet week with the long holiday meaning that half the Thai population were on the move back home and to the beach. No work was done but police productivity was up as 100,000 people were arrested for traffic violations.

It will be interesting to see how the accident statistics compare to Songkran and other times of the year when there is free flow of booze to oil the wheels of those moving around the country. What with the religious holiday there was supposed to be a ban on drink as the Thais ushered in Buddhist Lent.

Someone perhaps should have told the monk in Sakon Nakhorn who was caught on tape lifting his robes and displaying his ample paunch at a startled woman. Not content with flashing his flab the saffron sleaze pointed a fag holding hand at the woman and demanded 1,000 baht for the show!

It was all rather reminiscent of my early days in Thailand when you would see that sort of thing from the girls in Patpong. The fact that this behavior was now in a temple showed that the tourism minister certainly has her work cut out.

Finally it was a mixed week for Lady Kai otherwise known as Monta Yokratanakan. She started the week as 56, then went to 58, then back to 56. I think the truth is that she is nearer 90 by the look of her. Then she was going to face human trafficking, then not, then on again. Poor woman was up and down like a pair of whore’s knickers.

Then the fall from grace was almost complete as the Thai press started calling her Nang Kai – just plain old Mrs. Chicken. And there really was the crux of the matter.

For she is likely to go down for years not because of the misdemeanors and lies committed against the unfortunate people who worked for her, but for the names and titles that she allegedly assumed.

For being chicken dressed up as lamb.

-- 2016-07-24

[maewang99]

The whole world is full is nonsense, end to end... "Thai culture" is a code word. It's not the word "Thai" followed by the word "culture". It's a code word just like many of our own.

Edited July 24, 2016 by maewang99

[burgdawg]

Classique Khun Rooster!

A fine week that was.....

[PattayaBoy]

Can you give more info about insurance thing and small print. Whats that about?

[Stokakrishna]

we are Thai. we do not have sex. we just <deleted>

but only after marriage

[Deli]

And next week will be same same, just a bit different ;0

[givenall]

Classique Khun Rooster!

A fine week that was.....

As a teacher i review many abstract on studies that Thai PHD student investigate different part of Thai industries. I never see any corrective action recommendation in any of the studies. Everything is just great on what is gong on and no need to change. Thai must be great in everything they do

[craigt3365]

Great article!

[Dukeleto]

Excellent!

[adhd]

maybe thai logic is that rape is not sex or something ? or if the victim is underage, it does not count or other strange beliefs ?

[Blue bruce]

As I read the cmoments in Thaivisa every day I always wind up laughing. My thai wife asks me what is funny every day. My reply is the comings and goings of life in Thailand seen by a farang just makes me laugh.

I am sure all the posts in this forum are well intended. Always good for a laugh with some good info between the lines. Thank you everyone

[burgdawg]

....Thai men...if you interviewed them in their native tongue have ready access to Thai women 18 years and younger. They cannot figure out why all these foolish falang men show up to dine on their rejects.

You got it---Thai men quite assuredly believe that Thai women older than 20 years of age are used up, over the hill.

Lotsa cultural reasons what drives The Game in muang. Like trying to separate a hair ball that your cat spewed up on your floor mat.

[waldroj]

All that Larry (the UK-based Editor) has identified above was just the side show by comparison to the main attraction!

The top act this week must undoubtedly be the double-header. First, the election commission announce that there will be televised debates on the draft constitution. Then, the Constitution Drafting Committee advise that they won’t participate in these debates!

According to CDC, their role is to explain the draft’s contents and details (no disagreement there), yet they seem to have stage-fright when it comes to the possibility of having to defend their monster in a public forum.

[TPI]

....Thai men...if you interviewed them in their native tongue have ready access to Thai women 18 years and younger. They cannot figure out why all these foolish falang men show up to dine on their rejects.

You got it---Thai men quite assuredly believe that Thai women older than 20 years of age are used up, over the hill.

Lotsa cultural reasons what drives The Game in muang. Like trying to separate a hair ball that your cat spewed up on your floor mat.

A Gay friend of mine, married to a Vietnamese man of the same persuasion, said that in his experience Thai men have penises like little black sticks, he was amazed that they could even father children? Maybe that's why they like very young girls and discard the mothers of their children?? Lack of ??

[Peterphuket]

....Thai men...if you interviewed them in their native tongue have ready access to Thai women 18 years and younger. They cannot figure out why all these foolish falang men show up to dine on their rejects.

You got it---Thai men quite assuredly believe that Thai women older than 20 years of age are used up, over the hill.

Lotsa cultural reasons what drives The Game in muang. Like trying to separate a hair ball that your cat spewed up on your floor mat.

A Gay friend of mine, married to a Vietnamese man of the same persuasion, said that in his experience Thai men have penises like little black sticks, he was amazed that they could even father children? Maybe that's why they like very young girls and discard the mothers of their children?? Lack of ??

Unfortenatly, I recently discarded, but there is a website what shows al size of penisses of the different peoples of the world, and yes, I remember Thailand did not come sa good as.

[Peterphuket]

I found it back

[HerbalEd]

Re. "It is high time thirty per cent of the population found a more upright job."

Are you actually saying that 30% of the Thai population has a job in the sex industry? Based upon what, besides your hyperbole?

[slippery snake]

....Thai men...if you interviewed them in their native tongue have ready access to Thai women 18 years and younger. They cannot figure out why all these foolish falang men show up to dine on their rejects.

You got it---Thai men quite assuredly believe that Thai women older than 20 years of age are used up, over the hill.

Lotsa cultural reasons what drives The Game in muang. Like trying to separate a hair ball that your cat spewed up on your floor mat.

A Gay friend of mine, married to a Vietnamese man of the same persuasion, said that in his experience Thai men have penises like little black sticks, he was amazed that they could even father children? Maybe that's why they like very young girls and discard the mothers of their children?? Lack of ??

Haha yeap even a young girl that 100 Thai guys have had the pleasure of screwing, will still feel like a virgin to a westerner !

and she will probably feel like she is one too, the first time with a westerner,,, so every one is happy.... 55555

[slippery snake]

A good read, and a few giggles too.

[sahibji]

i believe in the school that any idea that seems plausible must be

tried.

but to wipe out sex in tourism equation is a tall order.

[monty1412]

well written , entertaining article.. great job......

[TerrylSky]

Ba ba bo bo lei mai ben rai; I have a ton of crazy Thai stories too; goes with the territory. Have to deal with it like grain of salt I guess. Thank God I can leave the country every few months (or thanks to the visa crap I have to go - no problem anymore). Nevertheless, Thai logic may encourage me to move elsewhere to spend my cash and try to live in harmony. There are many good things here though of course. It's just that it does get old after awhile.

[smotherb]

Classique Khun Rooster!

A fine week that was.....

As a teacher i review many abstract on studies that Thai PHD student investigate different part of Thai industries. I never see any corrective action recommendation in any of the studies. Everything is just great on what is gong on and no need to change. Thai must be great in everything they do

What do you teach?

[Ruud4u]

Tourism Minister Khun Kobkarn will be the NEW Minsister of employment. 1,000 baht a day.
Only have to built 1,000 factories with 1,000 staff.

Beside education for the staff will be necessary.

What a joke, no Sex in Thailand. Thailand is famous abou this subject...worldwide.

When it happens, Cambodia will grow with 1.000.000 Thai sex-workers and 6 million tourists

Rolling on the floor laughing, do not believe the level of knowledge of this minister

[sawadeeken]

Now I think you get a good idea of what 'TIT' means. 'This Is Thailand'

Great article.....................

And as far as 'No Sex Please -- were Thai'.......... Has Thailand ever thought about teaching that in school to all those 16 year old boys who are very busy giving all the 16 year old girls some babies that mom or Grandmom will raise while that 16 year old girl goes off to work in the sex industry to send milk money back home for the baby.....................

I love Thailand but it is not what this woman fantacises that she can pass it off as being so 'Pure'..............

[212Roger]

....Thai men...if you interviewed them in their native tongue have ready access to Thai women 18 years and younger. They cannot figure out why all these foolish falang men show up to dine on their rejects.

You got it---Thai men quite assuredly believe that Thai women older than 20 years of age are used up, over the hill.

Lotsa cultural reasons what drives The Game in muang. Like trying to separate a hair ball that your cat spewed up on your floor mat.

A Gay friend of mine, married to a Vietnamese man of the same persuasion, said that in his experience Thai men have penises like little black sticks, he was amazed that they could even father children? Maybe that's why they like very young girls and discard the mothers of their children?? Lack of ??

Haha yeap even a young girl that 100 Thai guys have had the pleasure of screwing, will still feel like a virgin to a westerner !

and she will probably feel like she is one too, the first time with a westerner,,, so every one is happy.... 55555

One baby can ruin a girl a lot more than a thousand pricks.

[slippery snake]

....Thai men...if you interviewed them in their native tongue have ready access to Thai women 18 years and younger. They cannot figure out why all these foolish falang men show up to dine on their rejects.

You got it---Thai men quite assuredly believe that Thai women older than 20 years of age are used up, over the hill.

Lotsa cultural reasons what drives The Game in muang. Like trying to separate a hair ball that your cat spewed up on your floor mat.

A Gay friend of mine, married to a Vietnamese man of the same persuasion, said that in his experience Thai men have penises like little black sticks, he was amazed that they could even father children? Maybe that's why they like very young girls and discard the mothers of their children?? Lack of ??

Haha yeap even a young girl that 100 Thai guys have had the pleasure of screwing, will still feel like a virgin to a westerner !

and she will probably feel like she is one too, the first time with a westerner,,, so every one is happy.... 55555

One baby can ruin a girl a lot more than a thousand pricks.

you might find this hard to believe but a woman's body changes dramatically when she gives birth, and then goes back to how it was before,, her fanny doesn't stay as big as a baby's head,,, uh ! besides not all of them have babies and many have cecerian births ...

[lanng khao]

....Thai men...if you interviewed them in their native tongue have ready access to Thai women 18 years and younger. They cannot figure out why all these foolish falang men show up to dine on their rejects.

You got it---Thai men quite assuredly believe that Thai women older than 20 years of age are used up, over the hill.

Lotsa cultural reasons what drives The Game in muang. Like trying to separate a hair ball that your cat spewed up on your floor mat.

A Gay friend of mine, married to a Vietnamese man of the same persuasion, said that in his experience Thai men have penises like little black sticks, he was amazed that they could even father children? Maybe that's why they like very young girls and discard the mothers of their children?? Lack of ??

Haha yeap even a young girl that 100 Thai guys have had the pleasure of screwing, will still feel like a virgin to a westerner !

and she will probably feel like she is one too, the first time with a westerner,,, so every one is happy.... 55555

Thai men are only here to make pilot holes for us..

[fey]

....Thai men...if you interviewed them in their native tongue have ready access to Thai women 18 years and younger. They cannot figure out why all these foolish falang men show up to dine on their rejects.

You got it---Thai men quite assuredly believe that Thai women older than 20 years of age are used up, over the hill.

Lotsa cultural reasons what drives The Game in muang. Like trying to separate a hair ball that your cat spewed up on your floor mat.

A Gay friend of mine, married to a Vietnamese man of the same persuasion, said that in his experience Thai men have penises like little black sticks, he was amazed that they could even father children? Maybe that's why they like very young girls and discard the mothers of their children?? Lack of ??

Haha yeap even a young girl that 100 Thai guys have had the pleasure of screwing, will still feel like a virgin to a westerner !

and she will probably feel like she is one too, the first time with a westerner,,, so every one is happy.... 55555

Thai men are only here to make pilot holes for us..

Thai men typically only use one position as well

That being kneeling frontally and thrusting rapidly akin to a sitting missionary with the lady on her back

They dont do doggie and all this other weird stuff. It's just efficient getting off and then quickly leaving.

I think they learn it from driving motorbikes??

[lanng khao]

It's called panda sex...eats, shoots and leaves...