My Mate Tells Some Crackers!

Heres one he told me in the pub the other night, it's a visual gag so it needs a bit of imitation,

plus a few beers.

A coach load of rugby players crashes on the way home from a match.

The emergency services arrive to a scene of utter devastation, bodies and wreckage everywhere with no apparrent survivors.

Just as they're going to give up hope they hear a whimpering and movement,

they rush to the spot and discover a monkey, badly injured and semi concious,

they rush it to hospital for treatment.

The next day the police have no clues as to the cause of the accident and decide to visit the monkey, who is now concious.

Thinking that they have nothing to lose and even though it's a long shot the chief of police decides to try and question the monkey,

He asks the monkey if it can remember what happened on the coach the night before.

(do impression of monkey nodding it 's head)

Ah says the chief that's great, can you tell us what everyone was doing when the crash happened?

(do impression of monkey dealing and playing cards)

Oh right they where playing cards, good good, what else where they doing?

(do impression of monkey of monkey drinking beer and getting drunk)

ok so they where playing cards and getting drunk, I see, I think we're getting somewhere now,

and what where you doing at the time?

(do impresssion of monkey driving the coach!)