My Cousin Has Thai Puppy Love

[Shotime]

I have been living in Hua Hin for a few years now. Close to 7. I am an old man, but still vital.

 

In any case, My cousin came to live with me 3 months ago. He is 58. He's a big boy. Over 6 foot, and not fat. He takes good care of me, and, of course, I've known him his whole life. 

 

I have a dilemma. He has been with women like he never dreamed of. Herein lies the rub.

He keeps getting emotionally attached to them. I do not claim to know women. Much more, Thai women. I've had my own problems, and have the scars to prove it. However, I've learned. Especially when it comes to my feelings.

 

His latest affair is with a 35 year old woman. I lose contact with him at times. By that I mean, he's on a different planet. She has stolen away his brain. I have tried to tell him not to take things too seriously or personally. Without going into detail, He texts her via Line. He's just like the girls who sit glued to their phones. Through my texts, he has done well with her at little expense given she's very attractive. When he texts her on his own, he keeps digging himself into a hole. I have managed to get him above ground a few times. He denies it, but he pines for her, and she knows it. After digging his last hole, I told him that he could blame me for texting her when he didn't see. However, I think, she knows better. Ever hear "Chalaka?" She knows who gets her out of the mouse hole, and corners her. Last night she said she wanted to go to dinner, and had him waiting at three different corners, but never showed. Needless to say, you could see how he felt. Dumped on.

 

Since we live together, I feel the brunt of his frustration and disappointment. I could go on, but what can I do?

Edited August 23, 2016 by Shotime
spelling

[JHolmesJr]

OMG…the shady thai bird I met last night would walk all over him….i cant print the stuff she told me here….but she was smooth…and she was just a tart from hong khai pretending to be bangkok hiso.

 

Don't take it lightly…stay on his case so he doesn't do anything super stupid…being stood up for dinner is ok….but it can get way more dangerous.

 

One good way to defuse such 'emotions' is to see as many thai women as possible….and let the others know….then you are butterfly to them and butterflies are safe to fly wherever they choose.

 

 

[Shotime]

Thanks. I stay on his case, but I may overdo it some times. He may hurt me. Not really, but I will be careful not to insult him too much. I have hooked him up before, but it's only a temporary fix.

[MissAndry]

He needs to improve his relationship management skills. The most important being .........

Never agree to meet anyone in a place where you can't have fun on your own.

 

Coffee shop/bar/restaurant, all good places to meet up, while waiting you can have a drink/wifi/snack. And if they don't turn up, go it alone or chat to someone new.

 

Meet on street corner, no fun at all, asking for problems.

Edited August 23, 2016 by MissAndry

[JHolmesJr]

5 minutes ago, Shotime said:

 He may hurt me. Not really, but I will be careful not to insult him too much. 

 

are you guys scandinavian….sounds like fun in Villa Shotime.

[richard_smith237]

 

If you can drill one thing in to him, its....  Do not spend excessive amounts of money on her...

 

The rest is all part of a learning experience, part and parcel of living life and can be repaired...  just so long as he doesn't waste his savings he will enjoy his experiences and the roller coaster, especially, OP, as he has your experience and friendship to fall back on... 

 

You can't control other people, but through great friendship you can be there to help when they need it, to advise when they require it....

[Shotime]

1 hour ago, JHolmesJr said:

 

are you guys scandinavian….sounds like fun in Villa Shotime.

No to Northern Tribes. Yes to fun in Villa Shotime.

 

I mean, I love the kid, but he, like many others, doesn't understand that with age comes a little wisdom.

 

I am watching his money. Believe me. Thanks. Thru manipulation, on my part, he has spent a minimal amount of baht. Sometimes free, but you always pay later. One way or the other.

Edited August 23, 2016 by Shotime
spelling

[MisterTee]

Puppy love at the age of 58?

It sounds like a case of arrested development.

 

[Shotime]

9 hours ago, MisterTee said:

Puppy love at the age of 58?

It sounds like a case of arrested development.

 

I'm starting to believe it.

[SOTIRIOS]

...he is done for....

[SOTIRIOS]

....and it is not cute.....it is ugly.....those are the types of women that lead hapless foreigners to their doom....

[Briggsy]

Tell him to get himself and her tested for hepatitis and HIV.

[Kabula]

Buy him the book, 'Private Dancer,' and suggest he read it and say no more.

 

He will not listen to you so don't strain your relationship with him.

 

In time he will find that the illusion of love can be a serious mental illness; author unknown!

 

Hopefully, he will not give away his life savings.  Up to him.....

[Farang99]

18 minutes ago, Kabula said:

                                                             

He will not listen to you so don't strain your relationship with him.

 

In time he will find that the illusion of love can be a serious mental illness;                                                                               

 

Hopefully, he will not give away his life savings.  Up to him.....

 

Buy him the book, 'Private Dancer,' and suggest he read it and say no more.

author unknown!

 

Stephen Leather. There is also "In the Bedroom out of Trouble", by Bud Knackstedt and Oiy Ford.

                                                                                                                        

[Kabula]

12 minutes ago, SOTIRIOS said:

....and it is not cute.....it is ugly.....those are the types of women that lead hapless foreigners to their doom....

Never judge those women unless you have walked in their shoes as the old saying goes....

 

Millions of hapless foreigners worldwide provide a steady income to starving families, provide social security to the elderly, allow young women to buy a home, trendy clothing, learn business, and allow them to further their education for future productivity.  If hapless foreigners understood where the money goes, it would ease the pain.  In fact, the money probably came back to them in ways they will never understand.  That is the secret of the power of money.  The transfer of wealth.

 

Not forgetting their sexual activities bring in more tourists with billions of every foreign currency who buy real estate, stocks, pay taxes, and support most foreign businesses which create cities like Bangkok that was once a swamp!

 

There is no difference between those types of women and my ex-wives!  Most all are the same when you remove their masks and understand their history and motives.

 

Blame the ignorant tourists for not asking questions Not the sex workers that no doubt have had very difficult lives and had to leave home at age 15 with large families, so they wouldn't starve.

 

Most business persons in the world are far more evil than any working gal I've met here in my 9 years of living here.  Those hapless foreigners no doubt have great memories and experiences from their money spent, that they would never have had in their home countries.  Many are happy of their experiences in foreign countries during financial retreats.  At least they have the memories when investments go south.

[dotpoom]

If she happens to be dating other men it might be a positive discovery to make....(for the both of you).

[georgemandm]

We have a saying keep them mean keep them kean .

it works very well once Thais know they have you suck in you are f??? .

it cost to have one for sure but as long as it dose not cost a home a car and land he will be ok .

i had a friend who had the same s??t happen had a hooker from hua  hin like your friend she was from Buriram told him the fact of life about hookers from bars but the f??? Wit never listened the stupid man paid her two times to go and stay with him in Australia , first time $2,500 for 3 months the second time $3,000 for 3 months.

You can't tell them , now he dose not talk to me because I told him the truth about the hooker and his thai hooker went home and told the sister I was telling my friend about thai woman and that is why her is not talk to me listening to the hooker , I not care now , I not say a think if mates get suck in by thai lady's .

[1FinickyOne]

understanding relationships, even professional ones, from a Thai perspective is a learning curve... it is just not the same as in the West. 

 

I had a friend who fell in love w/the most adorable girl in a go-go bar... she would tell him to come see her at midnight. 9/10 nights she was already gone by midnight. He was her back-up guy - in case she did not get a customer... He understood that but it was still worth the fun of the one night when she would go with him... 

 

What I am saying is teach your cuz that there are many fish in the sea and he should enjoy whatever happens... shrug off being stood up and go find someone else... 

[Kwasaki]

Your cuz 58 and his lady 35 and you say very beautiful.

 

What can you do,  absolutely nothing,  let him get on with it and don't lend him money.

 

When it goes pear shaped tell him to go back home.

 

 

 

 

[Docno]

2 hours ago, Farang99 said:

 

Buy him the book, 'Private Dancer,' and suggest he read it and say no more.

author unknown!

 

Stephen Leather. There is also "In the Bedroom out of Trouble", by Bud Knackstedt and Oiy Ford.

                                                                                                                        

 

Alternatively, just set him up with an account at ThaiVisa. That should have him running for the hills.... :-)

[Docno]

More seriously, have you ever spent time with them together? If you can, and if you think you're able to do this subtly, you could ask her some friendly questions in his presence that might spark some questions in his own mind. Questions, in proper context, about her work history, her romantic past (reasons for breakups), her goals and priorities in life, her views on men, etc. Any one of these areas (or others) might create question marks in your cousin's head and at least prompt him to think more rationally about the situation.

 

The problem is that brain scans have shown that when we think of our loved ones, activity in our frontal cortex (our higher thinking centre) actually diminishes. This means that we don't apply our analytical skills when we think of our loved ones... the emotion dulls thought. This is probably a good thing in a healthy relationship (helps us look past the imperfections that might get on our nerves otherwise), but it also carries a great deal of risk such as your cousin is facing. So you have to get him to apply his analytical faculties to this situation. Not easy. But try to nudge her into giving the clues rather than you always expressing your misgivings yourself. From experience, I know this can work, but you can't push too hard...

 

Good luck (to him as well!)

Edited August 24, 2016 by Docno
Typos

[smotherb]

Not one troll comment! You mean you all believe there are men that dumb?

[elgordo38]

17 hours ago, MissAndry said:

He needs to improve his relationship management skills. The most important being .........

Never agree to meet anyone in a place where you can't have fun on your own.

 

Coffee shop/bar/restaurant, all good places to meet up, while waiting you can have a drink/wifi/snack. And if they don't turn up, go it alone or chat to someone new.

 

Meet on street corner, no fun at all, asking for problems.

Good advice from the Ann Landers of TV. If you can keep him out of trouble long enough time will teach him. We all had to pay to play some more than others when we first arrived. Time is a teacher. I learned more from time spent asking questions and reading than going to school. From what you say he seems like a nice guy worth saving from himself. Thats what friends do. Save you from yourself. 

[elgordo38]

21 minutes ago, smotherb said:

Not one troll comment! You mean you all believe there are men that dumb?

Just because HC Fields is dead that does not make his statement "There is a sucker born every day"  redundant. If you figure in the years since then and the multiplying human factor you could say there are 2 or 3 born every day. I can still think back to when I landed on these siren covered shores 7 years ago. Geeze was I dumb. 

[bridge2bridge]

When she RIPS him off.

He will get over it.

And realise Thai women ( MOST) want you for what they can get out of you.

Sad but TRUE.

I have been there before.

But not anymore.

 

[Khon Kaen Dave]

Firstly,your 'cousin' has  to find her residence and attempt to find if she emerges during the sun light hours.This exorcise must be observed for at least a week. During that week,if he is seeing her during the hours of darkness,he must note if she casts a shadow when visiting well lit places,ie restaurants.Also try and seat her by a large mirror when eating out.Thai girls love to look at them selves when in close proximity of a reflective glass.If she shies away from this, your suspicions will start t o take form.Watch her to see if she has a certain control over the minor forms of life,such as Rats,Cockroaches and Bats. She will also be able to create a small breeze,mist or light rain,at will.Make sure that when out you wear a crucifix around your neck.If she shows abhorrence at this religious bauble,and asks you to remove it,then you do so,but laugh it off as a joke. Take her to zoo,and go to the Wolf enclosure,if she is able to put her hand through the bars and scratch the animal behind the ears,then your half way there. If she calls for her meat to be served almost raw,then this will add to your suspicions.At dinner,she may throw light questions at you,such as "darling,what is your blood group?,Do  you use drugs? You may catch her,at certain times,staring strangely at your neck,especially the juglar region. She is able to put you into a trance simply by asking you to look into her eyes.This is when you will give up your ATM card and pin number,and you wont relalise you have done it.

Dont go looking for long canine teeth in her mouth,because unlike other Vampires Thai girls keep them in their vagina's.

 hope this has been of some help to your 'cousin'

When you have ascertained whether the lady in question is a creature of the night.Please contact me and i will advise you of how to rid yourself,and society of her.

Rgarards Khonkaen Van Helsing.

[louse1953]

16 hours ago, Shotime said:

No to Northern Tribes. Yes to fun in Villa Shotime.

 

I mean, I love the kid, but he, like many others, doesn't understand that with age comes a little wisdom.

 

I am watching his money. Believe me. Thanks. Thru manipulation, on my part, he has spent a minimal amount of baht. Sometimes free, but you always pay later. One way or the other.

Kid!!!He is 58 for christ's sake.Stop treating him like a kid.He needs to be burnt a few times and he might wake up.Why are you micro managing his love life at 58 years old.The hard way is the only way your love sick puppy is gunna learn.

[louse1953]

4 hours ago, SOTIRIOS said:

....and it is not cute.....it is ugly.....those are the types of women that lead hapless foreigners to their doom....

And they deserve it,hapless water buffaloes led by the short and curlies.Don't they teach them anything in the West.

[Shotime]

He may be starting to get it. I'm taking him on a ROAD TRIP to open his eyes, and, yes, some can be that stupid. Been there myself.

Edited August 24, 2016 by Shotime
spelling

[louse1953]

3 hours ago, georgemandm said:

We have a saying keep them mean keep them kean .

it works very well once Thais know they have you suck in you are f??? .

it cost to have one for sure but as long as it dose not cost a home a car and land he will be ok .

i had a friend who had the same s??t happen had a hooker from hua  hin like your friend she was from Buriram told him the fact of life about hookers from bars but the f??? Wit never listened the stupid man paid her two times to go and stay with him in Australia , first time $2,500 for 3 months the second time $3,000 for 3 months.

You can't tell them , now he dose not talk to me because I told him the truth about the hooker and his thai hooker went home and told the sister I was telling my friend about thai woman and that is why her is not talk to me listening to the hooker , I not care now , I not say a think if mates get suck in by thai lady's .

That is money for lost earnings,what do you rekon,she goes for free.I rekon he got out of it cheap.For one pop/night,thats $A33 or 825 baht.Plus she probably cooked,cleaned the house and did the washing.Bloody bargain i rekon,what's her number.