Thinking hard about moving back to the US

[bwpage3]

11 hours ago, OMGImInPattaya said:

Working at Walmart is allot different than working at Starbucks...frankly, I doubt the typical Thai girl could hack working at either workplace; and not because they're not hardworking but because of the language and workplace culture issues. That's why most Thais in foreign countries end up working for other Thais.

In the USA then, you would have to make a huge assumption that lots of Thai's own businesses?

I see in my area many Thai's illegally here on overstay in the restaurant business, but most close within 6 months and a few have been busted by immigration. What I see here in Florida, is Thai's that attempt the restaurant business do it with the same mentality in Thailand. Customer service is non existent, takes an hour to get served, food quality is very poor as they try to cook for Americans and not Authentic Thai Food. Lack of English as you mentioned means orders get screwed up because they do not understand customers requests. Restaurants are generally understaffed. 

[Johnniey]

 

Quote

 

12 hours ago, OMGImInPattaya said:

Working at Walmart is allot different than working at Starbucks...frankly, I doubt the typical Thai girl could hack working at either workplace; and not because they're not hardworking but because of the language and workplace culture issues. That's why most Thais in foreign countries end up working for other Thais.

 

OMG someone in Pattaya telling us what a typical Thai girl is like. 

[bwpage3]

10 hours ago, BudRight said:

 

If living in Thailand was so great why would it bother anyone to hear about ex-expats?

 

I left five years ago and wish I'd left sooner. I often wish I'd never gone.

 

Thailand might be fine to waste away the twilight of one's life, but it's a total waste of time for a person in their prime working years. Also, my standard of living is vastly higher now than it was those years ago. Food is dirt cheap in the US (at the supermarket anyway), vehicles are cheap, beer is super cheap, and the pay is higher to boot. About the only things that's are really a rip-ff are eating in restaurants and paying rent.

I think it bothers some because there are those that have trapped themselves in Thailand with no where to go back home to and no money to start over.

 

The fact people move 10,000 miles away, never realizing that outside of owning a condo (poor investment), they will always be dependent on a woman from Thailand to have the house, land, etc in there own name.

 

Divorce rate is quite high for farangs who did not plan this all out carefully before taking the plunge.

 

Like it or not, Thailand is still third world and it hasn't gotten any better the past 20 years. 

Foreigners still have no rights like it or not.

 

It is kind of strange you never hear any stories about people moving to Thailand because it is the greatest country on earth. 99.5% of all stories revolve around a Thai woman being involved. People do not move there for the VISA runs, the language, living in a crappy 1 room shack, etc. they all move there because prostitution runs rampant. So why bash others that want to move and have a better quality of life?

 

Cost of living a realistic sort of western life in Thailand, not spending your entire life in a 1 room flat, is pretty comparable now to the USA except in Thailand foreigners cannot own their own house and land.

 

Being able to walk into a bank and get a loan in your own name?

 

I guess if you live on a bar stool in Nana Plaza and drink enough, anywhere would seem like heaven. 

 

However nothing beats the quality of life in your own country

 

[metisdead]

Some inflammatory insulting posts and replies have been removed:

 

7) You will respect fellow members and post in a civil manner. No personal attacks, hateful or insulting towards other members, (flaming) Stalking of members on either the forum or via PM will not be allowed.

[georgemandm]

7 minutes ago, bwpage3 said:

I think it bothers some because there are those that have trapped themselves in Thailand with no where to go back home to and no money to start over.

 

The fact people move 10,000 miles away, never realizing that outside of owning a condo (poor investment), they will always be dependent on a woman from Thailand to have the house, land, etc in there own name.

 

Divorce rate is quite high for farangs who did not plan this all out carefully before taking the plunge.

 

Like it or not, Thailand is still third world and it hasn't gotten any better the past 20 years. 

Foreigners still have no rights like it or not.

 

It is kind of strange you never hear any stories about people moving to Thailand because it is the greatest country on earth. 99.5% of all stories revolve around a Thai woman being involved. People do not move there for the VISA runs, the language, living in a crappy 1 room shack, etc. they all move there because prostitution runs rampant. So why bash others that want to move and have a better quality of life?

 

Cost of living a realistic sort of western life in Thailand, not spending your entire life in a 1 room flat, is pretty comparable now to the USA except in Thailand foreigners cannot own their own house and land.

 

Being able to walk into a bank and get a loan in your own name?

 

I guess if you live on a bar stool in Nana Plaza and drink enough, anywhere would seem like heaven. 

 

However nothing beats the quality of life in your own country

 

You are so true it is not funny , but people will still try and tell you thailand is the place to be and yes it is when it comes to getting woman very easier and then most man do all they money and balls on a thai woman and can never ever get back home to their country because have no money to do it .

give it all to a thai woman .

[JAFO]

15 minutes ago, georgemandm said:

27 minutes ago, bwpage3 said:

I think it bothers some because there are those that have trapped themselves in Thailand with no where to go back home to and no money to start over.

 

The fact people move 10,000 miles away, never realizing that outside of owning a condo (poor investment), they will always be dependent on a woman from Thailand to have the house, land, etc in there own name.

 

Divorce rate is quite high for farangs who did not plan this all out carefully before taking the plunge.

 

Like it or not, Thailand is still third world and it hasn't gotten any better the past 20 years. 

Foreigners still have no rights like it or not.

 

It is kind of strange you never hear any stories about people moving to Thailand because it is the greatest country on earth. 99.5% of all stories revolve around a Thai woman being involved. People do not move there for the VISA runs, the language, living in a crappy 1 room shack, etc. they all move there because prostitution runs rampant. So why bash others that want to move and have a better quality of life?

 

Cost of living a realistic sort of western life in Thailand, not spending your entire life in a 1 room flat, is pretty comparable now to the USA except in Thailand foreigners cannot own their own house and land.

 

Being able to walk into a bank and get a loan in your own name?

 

I guess if you live on a bar stool in Nana Plaza and drink enough, anywhere would seem like heaven. 

 

However nothing beats the quality of life in your own country

 

You are so true it is not funny , but people will still try and tell you thailand is the place to be and yes it is when it comes to getting woman very easier and then most man do all they money and balls on a thai woman and can never ever get back home to their country because have no money to do it .

give it all to a thai woman .

 

I wasn't going to jump in here on this particular subject but I cannot argue with the comments as stated about many of the men, why they are here, how they live and why they defend it the way they do.  The posts are a little harsh and I clearly think bwpage3 has a serious chip on his shoulder about it all for some reason. I guess he has his reasons.

 

I do need to ask though, Why did you move back to the US bwpage3 then visit a Thai based forum screaming at the top of your lungs badgering others talking like you got it all figured out? Shouldn't you move on and find a new site or go out and live the American dream??  I mean you have stated its the best and you have everything and Thailand has nothing so if it has everything, why do you spend your time on this site? When I was back in the US with my wife for 4 years I  seldom ever came on this site. Why? Made no sense. I was in the US.  Now I am back in Thailand and working so I visit the site and post about the other side of the coin. I again I say, there are thousands of US businessmen living here in Thailand that do not post on forums but trust me when I say they are doing very very well. Their quality of life (like mine) is way better then it was in the US. I could list a host of reasons why. Can I pack up and move back to the US, No problem, I could be on a plane tomorrow. Do I want to, NO WAY. Its a great place to visit but that's about all. Its nice living here with no debt, no property tax, the bank own everything, being financed to the hilt, your life being judged by your credit rating, government telling you everything you can and cannot do to name just a few, so yeah you have everything alright.. None of it I want. :).  

 

But to your point the businessmen here (like me) are not living in a 1 bedroom shack near Nana plaza, sitting on a bar stool drinking iced down Leo beer riding an old Honda Wave scooter around. (Albeit I have a Wave and love it, its just not my only form of transportation). I do not care if that's what they want to do. Who am I too judge?  But we both know there are guys in the US right now sitting in a dark bar  doing the same stuff as the guys here in Thailand its just not publicly displayed unless of course you cruise south beach at night late.

 

Anyway, carry on. 

 

 

[ericthai]

23 hours ago, Strange said:

 

No, she will not be a foreigner if she is a citizen. If she is a citizen then that would make her just as much "American" as anyone else. No immigration checks, no passport checks, can own property free and clear, protected by law. On and on and on. Just as much an american as you or me. 

 

Now its up to her if she wants to utilize that opportunity and believe in it. The reverse is that I will NEVER be Thai. NEVER have a passport. Never protected by any law. 

 

The things I have said about thailand are true. I'm not bashing. Im not going to extremes. They are fact. For some reason this bothers the hell out of you. Your last like 20 posts have been you going to strange extremes to try and show how big you are and how thai you are.

A foreigner can get Thai citizenship and then have a Thai passport, own property etc. My friend just got his Thai citizenship a few weeks ago. He has PR for over 10 years. 

 Also you said if she is in the USA and work more than 16hr a week she will get full benefits, Dont know where you are getting that idea, there is no law that states a company needs to provide full benefits (ie pension, medical etc) it is totally up to employer and employer decides what is considered full time. However now with ACA (Obamacare) any employer with 50 or more employees need to provide healthcare.  That is the only required benefit. Sure she will get SS but she is paying for that through taxes.  However it sounds like you made up your mind. So just do it and see what happens. If your wife dont already have a visa for the USA that will take time and money.  My wife and I were never legally married in Thailand so we did a fiance visa took us about 14 months to get her to the USA but there were a few delays on my part. Could possibly be done in 12 all depends on processing time with Home Land security etc. I think all in it cost me about $5000 with her plane ticket. Green card was $1500 which I thought was crazy.  Anyway we enjoyed out time in Florida but both of us were happy to return to Thailand and go to the US once a year for 2-3 months. 

[Scotwight]

2 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

I think it bothers some because there are those that have trapped themselves in Thailand with no where to go back home to and no money to start over.

 

The fact people move 10,000 miles away, never realizing that outside of owning a condo (poor investment), they will always be dependent on a woman from Thailand to have the house, land, etc in there own name.

 

Divorce rate is quite high for farangs who did not plan this all out carefully before taking the plunge.

 

Like it or not, Thailand is still third world and it hasn't gotten any better the past 20 years. 

Foreigners still have no rights like it or not.

 

It is kind of strange you never hear any stories about people moving to Thailand because it is the greatest country on earth. 99.5% of all stories revolve around a Thai woman being involved. People do not move there for the VISA runs, the language, living in a crappy 1 room shack, etc. they all move there because prostitution runs rampant. So why bash others that want to move and have a better quality of life?

 

Cost of living a realistic sort of western life in Thailand, not spending your entire life in a 1 room flat, is pretty comparable now to the USA except in Thailand foreigners cannot own their own house and land.

 

Being able to walk into a bank and get a loan in your own name?

 

I guess if you live on a bar stool in Nana Plaza and drink enough, anywhere would seem like heaven. 

 

However nothing beats the quality of life in your own country

 

I would imagine you are getting into the Thai wife wanting to come back to Thailand time.  Most of my friends who have Thai wives are ready to come home after 3 months in the West.  Women from the Philippines like to live anywhere else but the Philippines but Thai women like to live in Thailand.    

 

Living in Thailand beats my home country because my Thai family is happy here and my health care is paid for and better than the US.  I can live where I choose but I made a choice to move to Thailand and for the past decade it has been a good choice for me.  

 

I'm ex military and a lot of us live very happily here and prefer it to the West.  

 

Do you know of any forums in the USA where expats can post about how happy they are not to be in the USA?  I'd like to see  how many posters who have left the US post about how happy they are in Thailand.  

[bwpage3]

2 hours ago, JAFO said:

 

I wasn't going to jump in here on this particular subject but I cannot argue with the comments as stated about many of the men, why they are here, how they live and why they defend it the way they do.  The posts are a little harsh and I clearly think bwpage3 has a serious chip on his shoulder about it all for some reason. I guess he has his reasons.

 

I do need to ask though, Why did you move back to the US bwpage3 then visit a Thai based forum screaming at the top of your lungs badgering others talking like you got it all figured out? Shouldn't you move on and find a new site or go out and live the American dream??  I mean you have stated its the best and you have everything and Thailand has nothing so if it has everything, why do you spend your time on this site? When I was back in the US with my wife for 4 years I  seldom ever came on this site. Why? Made no sense. I was in the US.  Now I am back in Thailand and working so I visit the site and post about the other side of the coin. I again I say, there are thousands of US businessmen living here in Thailand that do not post on forums but trust me when I say they are doing very very well. Their quality of life (like mine) is way better then it was in the US. I could list a host of reasons why. Can I pack up and move back to the US, No problem, I could be on a plane tomorrow. Do I want to, NO WAY. Its a great place to visit but that's about all. Its nice living here with no debt, no property tax, the bank own everything, being financed to the hilt, your life being judged by your credit rating, government telling you everything you can and cannot do to name just a few, so yeah you have everything alright.. None of it I want. :).  

 

But to your point the businessmen here (like me) are not living in a 1 bedroom shack near Nana plaza, sitting on a bar stool drinking iced down Leo beer riding an old Honda Wave scooter around. (Albeit I have a Wave and love it, its just not my only form of transportation). I do not care if that's what they want to do. Who am I too judge?  But we both know there are guys in the US right now sitting in a dark bar  doing the same stuff as the guys here in Thailand its just not publicly displayed unless of course you cruise south beach at night late.

 

Anyway, carry on. 

 

 

Pretty Simple

 

1. Did Thai VISA limit this forum to people living in Thailand? No they did not. My wife and I still own a rice farm in Thailand and that is run by the father in law, so if I want to keep in touch with what is happening in Thailand, that is what Thai VISA is for ME!

 

2.  I spend my time where I want to. Funny you should chose to judge where other people you don't know spend their time.

 

3. Trust you when you say they are doing well? Who are you to trust? Your just a nick on an open forum with no verifiable credentials for trust.

 

4.  It's nice living there you say, no debt, no property tax because as a foreigner you cannot own any land or house. Not even talking about the same thing. What are you building equity in? Nothing is the answer.

 

5. Financing life has been around forever. If you cannot manage credit and screw yourself? You guessed it, your own fault.

 

6. No one can verify you are not living in a 1 room flat teaching english? Post up your pick of the house your own with the large pool and fancy sports car and we will all agree you are doing well.

 

If you were doing so well my man, these posts would have no interest or effect on you what so ever. I quite suspect they hit a raw nerve with you.

[howto]

@Strange
You have it nailed.
I read your op, and your replies to the buzzards.
I concur with you 100%.
As to your wife working...
look to the Thai community there.
They will help,
especially Thai restaraunts whom would welcome
a Thai whom knows how to cook, prep, etc.

 

I returned with my family recently, June.
It is great! They really love it.

 

I would suggest only one thing...
there may be an issue with you wife holding a 'tourist' visa...
She can not 'work' legally...
to that end perhaps a 'expert' can give advice...

 

I used 'White and Weber' in BKK.

He/they are very good, not expensive.

Jeremy Weber <[email protected]>
White & Weber Ltd.                                      
Attorneys at Law    
140/36 Silom Rd. ITF Tower 17th Fl.
Bangrak, Bangkok Thailand 10500                               
Tel. (66) 2231-6466
Fax.(66) 2231-6205
www.usfamilyvisa.com/

 

I am very appreciative of his work,
got my wife her USA visa,
as well as her girlfriend, whom bought a Thai restaraunt.

I posted here, as you, and recieved harsh replies as you.
 

I wish you, and yours, well.
May you both have happiness, health and wealth.

And of course children of whom you will proud of.

 

- Ken

See my other post here...

 

[gk10002000]

9 hours ago, Johnniey said:

OMG someone in Pattaya telling us what a typical Thai girl is like. 

I have known a few Thais that I kept in touch with over the years and moved to the USA, got married etc.  One moved to Ohio and married a decent fellow, blue collar working class.  Of course the Ohio winter was a shock to her.  She got a job at one of the car part manufacturers there and of course hated it.  No talking on the line, short breaks, mean boss.  That was the biggest issue for her. Work was so not fun.  Mai Sanuk.   Two kids later the couple is still going strong but she is no longer working. 

[Strange]

On September 13, 2016 at 9:29 PM, Berkshire said:

I'm from all over...California (north and south), Nevada, Virginia, Georgia, Hawaii, Rhode Island.  I'm actually not a basher of America.  I'm still a huge admirer of what America stands for.  That's why you won't find me on some USA forum, bashing America after I've left.  Will never happen. 

 

But you bash it on here? You drone on and on about how you are so thai. Black lives matter and racism. Terrible this and terrible that. It may not matter to you that you have no rights here, life is cheap as hell, and you damn sure are not allowed to protect yourself, but it matters to me. Corruption is RAMPANT and in your face with a nice Thai smile. 

 

Dude I like Thailand, but I believe, for me, it is probably a place better served as a vacation. Im getting to the point in life where I want a a lot more than a place to stay and transport. I can get that anywhere. 

[Paul Catton]

19 hours ago, Agent Sumo said:

He means taking it up the "Jap's eye" which is the urethral opening in the male sexual organ. 

 

Most people who use these slang terms are totally ignorant of their origins and can't even write their own language

Jacksy, Jacksie, Jaxie in UK slang refers to the anal region.

Origin some think to have stemmed from Cockney rhyme Jack and Danny, Fanny was originally a reference to the buttocks although it seems in more recent times it also describes female genitalia.

 

Back to the OP, we are in two minds as to retirement prospects in Thailand, my initial thoughts were most favorable but my wife's seem to decline by degrees each time we visit.

Fortunately we may be able to split our time chasing the Sun between UK, Thailand and NZ.

[Strange]

19 hours ago, Agent Sumo said:

Technically, she'll be an American but that won't matter to the racists. There are plenty here on this forum who make disparaging remarks about immigrants who've been given passports in their homelands. "They're not real Brits/French/Swedes"

 

Honestly that has nothing to do with the US. As an american citizen I don't care what Brits/French/Swedes think about immigrants in their home country and has nothing to do with my situation. 

 

Everyone likes to harp on and on and on about racism but in the time me and the wife have been in the states, experienced none. Nothing. No rocks were thrown, we weren't stared at. Completely anonymous. 

 

No. One. Cared. Not one bit. 

[geronimo]

Every one has their own relationship with Thailand, and those that feel it doesn't offer enough will move on. I think that now you are well passed the honeymoon stage, you can see a few minuses. Sounds like you are making the right choice, no point in being unhappy. 

[Strange]

9 hours ago, ericthai said:

A foreigner can get Thai citizenship and then have a Thai passport, own property etc. My friend just got his Thai citizenship a few weeks ago. He has PR for over 10 years. 

 Also you said if she is in the USA and work more than 16hr a week she will get full benefits, Dont know where you are getting that idea, there is no law that states a company needs to provide full benefits (ie pension, medical etc) it is totally up to employer and employer decides what is considered full time. However now with ACA (Obamacare) any employer with 50 or more employees need to provide healthcare.  That is the only required benefit. Sure she will get SS but she is paying for that through taxes.  However it sounds like you made up your mind. So just do it and see what happens. If your wife dont already have a visa for the USA that will take time and money.  My wife and I were never legally married in Thailand so we did a fiance visa took us about 14 months to get her to the USA but there were a few delays on my part. Could possibly be done in 12 all depends on processing time with Home Land security etc. I think all in it cost me about $5000 with her plane ticket. Green card was $1500 which I thought was crazy.  Anyway we enjoyed out time in Florida but both of us were happy to return to Thailand and go to the US once a year for 2-3 months. 

 

Ok yeah its possible, but, um, needing a pardon by the king? 

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thai_nationality_law

 

The starbucks thing has nothing to do with law, its a benefit package provide by the company. And I was wrong it is 20 hours a week not 16. 

 

http://www.starbucks.com/careers/working-at-starbucks

 

The wife has a 10 year tourist visa currently but the first round of documents for the IR1 visa are in. I have to check the paperwork, but I believe the next step is medical and police report. 

[Strange]

19 hours ago, natway09 said:

I just find a bit strange that you say have enough money to live anywhere & then proceed to bitch about Thai prices 

versus Tampa.
Off you go,,,,, Bye

 

No, I'm going to sit here until I'm good and ready to go. 

 

Whats so hard to understand? Im not bitching about "Thai Prices" Im bitching about what you get for what you pay. 

[JAFO]

8 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

Pretty Simple

 

1. Did Thai VISA limit this forum to people living in Thailand? No they did not. My wife and I still own a rice farm in Thailand and that is run by the father in law, so if I want to keep in touch with what is happening in Thailand, that is what Thai VISA is for ME!

 

2.  I spend my time where I want to. Funny you should chose to judge where other people you don't know spend their time.

 

3. Trust you when you say they are doing well? Who are you to trust? Your just a nick on an open forum with no verifiable credentials for trust.

 

4.  It's nice living there you say, no debt, no property tax because as a foreigner you cannot own any land or house. Not even talking about the same thing. What are you building equity in? Nothing is the answer.

 

5. Financing life has been around forever. If you cannot manage credit and screw yourself? You guessed it, your own fault.

 

6. No one can verify you are not living in a 1 room flat teaching english? Post up your pick of the house your own with the large pool and fancy sports car and we will all agree you are doing well.

 

If you were doing so well my man, these posts would have no interest or effect on you what so ever. I quite suspect they hit a raw nerve with you.

 

I could easily respond to your points but to what point? I think what you struggle to understand is that a great number of expats do very well here. You are just so jaded because of your experience that you can't see it nor are you willing to accept it. Your perception is that all expats here are all old guys, sitting at bars drinking their lives away miserable, trapped and broke, eating noodle soup. Some how you managed to "Escape" the tyranny and found nirvana living back in the US. LOL!!!

 

Cheers 

 

 

[Strange]

11 hours ago, JAFO said:

I wasn't going to jump in here on this particular subject but I cannot argue with the comments as stated about many of the men, why they are here, how they live and why they defend it the way they do.  The posts are a little harsh and I clearly think bwpage3 has a serious chip on his shoulder about it all for some reason. I guess he has his reasons.

 

I do need to ask though, Why did you move back to the US bwpage3 then visit a Thai based forum screaming at the top of your lungs badgering others talking like you got it all figured out? Shouldn't you move on and find a new site or go out and live the American dream??  I mean you have stated its the best and you have everything and Thailand has nothing so if it has everything, why do you spend your time on this site? When I was back in the US with my wife for 4 years I  seldom ever came on this site. Why? Made no sense. I was in the US.  Now I am back in Thailand and working so I visit the site and post about the other side of the coin. I again I say, there are thousands of US businessmen living here in Thailand that do not post on forums but trust me when I say they are doing very very well. Their quality of life (like mine) is way better then it was in the US. I could list a host of reasons why. Can I pack up and move back to the US, No problem, I could be on a plane tomorrow. Do I want to, NO WAY. Its a great place to visit but that's about all. Its nice living here with no debt, no property tax, the bank own everything, being financed to the hilt, your life being judged by your credit rating, government telling you everything you can and cannot do to name just a few, so yeah you have everything alright.. None of it I want. :).  

 

But to your point the businessmen here (like me) are not living in a 1 bedroom shack near Nana plaza, sitting on a bar stool drinking iced down Leo beer riding an old Honda Wave scooter around. (Albeit I have a Wave and love it, its just not my only form of transportation). I do not care if that's what they want to do. Who am I too judge?  But we both know there are guys in the US right now sitting in a dark bar  doing the same stuff as the guys here in Thailand its just not publicly displayed unless of course you cruise south beach at night late.

 

Anyway, carry on. 

 

Weird I didn't think bwpage3 was doing any of that. Berkshire seemed to be the extremist. 

 

When I was in the states I read this site sometimes. I read a lot of sites that I'm interested in. 

 

IF you are a businessman here on an expat package then that changes some things because its a profitable endeavor. You have a work permit, a Thai income, and can utilize the banking system for finance. 

 

Strange you say the government telling you what to do is an issue for you but you come to Thailand and politely conform to the government telling you what to do. 

 

Property tax is one of the taxes I don't mind at all. Pays for the local roads, police (that do their job), cleanliness of the community, fire and emergency services (witch do not exist in Thailand). Said it before and Ill say it again - call 911 ANYWHERE in the states and you don't even need to say a word on the phone. Police will come. Emergency service will come. Fire Department will come. If you are far away & rural, a damn emergency HELICOPTER will come and the people helping you take pride in what they do. 

[Gecko123]

Has anyone else besides me noticed bwpage's penchant for portraying ALL expats as alcoholic losers living on a shoestring budget in a one room shack? The message is simple: 'I'm not like the rest of you losers and sexpats."  I'm convinced that people who do this (and he's not alone) just have poor coping skills.

 

When they return to the West, married to a much younger Southeast Asian woman who is often poorly educated, speaks non-native English, and socially fits the stereotype of a mail order bride/former bar girl, these white men find themselves on the receiving end of these social stigmas and prejudices for the first time in their life. Often never having been in an interracial relationship before, they struggle to cope with the appraising looks, knowing glances, scornful stares, inappropriate remarks, snickers, and worse.

 

Everyone in the West thinks they know what 'really' goes on in Thailand. Because it makes for salacious and titillating viewing, the country has long been stereotyped in the Western media as one big brothel. Of course, this is a one dimensional portrait of the country, but that's the part most people are familiar with. That's why some guys go to great lengths to set themselves apart from these stereotypes. Elaborate stories about how they met their wife, fabricating educational and professional credentials for the wife, and such. Coming on ThaiVisa to make sweeping putdowns of the expat community is just a feeble attempt to cope, by distancing themselves from these stigmas and social prejudices. 

 

When I read bwpage3's posts I cringe to think what it must be like for a Thai woman with a 'sanuk' bone in her body to live with him. I genuinely fear for his wife's welfare. It's hard not to imagine him verbally battering his family with the same forceful 'slam-your-fists-on-the-table' negative opinions about Thailand which he regularly voices here. I hope for his wife's sake I am wrong, but I am picturing a seethingly angry, humorless, opinionated, rigidly inflexible guy. Just a word to the wise: in my experience, few Thai women are willing to put up with these unpleasant traits over the long term.

 

The other reason I have given bwpage3 so much grief over his posts is that I find them quite insulting. He seems to have decided that he is the only foreigner who has ever lived in Thailand who is well-educated, financially secure, and has good life-planning skills. He isn't. There are tens of thousands of guys living happily in Thailand who have every bit as much on the ball as he does, and his inability to recognize this does not reflect well on his much ballyhooed learning skills.

[JAFO]

59 minutes ago, Strange said:

 

Weird I didn't think bwpage3 was doing any of that. Berkshire seemed to be the extremist. 

 

When I was in the states I read this site sometimes. I read a lot of sites that I'm interested in. 

 

IF you are a businessman here on an expat package then that changes some things because its a profitable endeavor. You have a work permit, a Thai income, and can utilize the banking system for finance. 

 

Strange you say the government telling you what to do is an issue for you but you come to Thailand and politely conform to the government telling you what to do. 

 

Property tax is one of the taxes I don't mind at all. Pays for the local roads, police (that do their job), cleanliness of the community, fire and emergency services (witch do not exist in Thailand). Said it before and Ill say it again - call 911 ANYWHERE in the states and you don't even need to say a word on the phone. Police will come. Emergency service will come. Fire Department will come. If you are far away & rural, a damn emergency HELICOPTER will come and the people helping you take pride in what they do. 

 

I am with you and have no objections. I enjoy good reads and I too visit many various sites, mostly car racing and truck off road racing being go offroad with my Thai friends here. Yes I visited this site from time to time for the read while I was in the US as it appears you did(or do). I would never tell anyone not to post, I asked why he did.  My rub with bwpage3 is his utter closed mindedness because he is jaded. He refuses to accept that people do well here and he can't because he didn't. I get it, many expats came here and it didn't work out. Things happen. It could happen in any country. I know lots that emigrated to the US that left in no time as it wasn't what they expected and wanted. We are all individuals and we do what we do for ourselves, not others. Your case in point. I respect and understand your position. You are buying time in hopes an opportunity comes up but you are getting anxious and thinking of options. I couldn't be here (or anywhere for that matter) if I didn't feel like I was contributing in some fashion. Do not get me wrong, I look forward to retirement as I have a ton of things to do and can help with my wife's business but if not I would likely implode as well. I find what happens to some expats is they did not have a plan and they get extremely bored, start to feel trapped and fixate on all the negatives versus taking action to make it better. Its easy to bitch, its harder to make a change( human nature). The ones that finally exit back home then come back and rant and rave about how Thailand is a shithole, its loaded with losers and drunks and again fixate on odd things like you did a bit with the 911 call. I guess that's important to you. I have never used 911 and likely will not. Never was a deal breaker for me anywhere. But I respect its a concern for you. Odd though being you are early 30's. At early 30's I never worried about 911 services. 

 

Its all good and to your point, I am an expat businessman living here with a US salary. I have bank accts, work permit, Credit cards drawn on Thai banks and can get a loan anytime(I just choose not to). This is why I come on here to offer another point of view so people can see that there is another side of Thailand.  I also stated that I would guess a great number of the Expats doing very well never frequent forums, I have persoanlly never asked when we go out for dinner or meet up at conventions etc.

 

Its not all gloom and doom here as some go on about. The US has its own set of problems just like Thailand does. 

[Scotwight]

14 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

I think it bothers some because there are those that have trapped themselves in Thailand with no where to go back home to and no money to start over.

 

However nothing beats the quality of life in your own country

 

 

[Strange]

@JAFO I like drag racing, I'm a mechanic & builder. This is my hobby shop in Florida. Maybe this will help provide some of the other posters with some insight when I talk about quality vs cost. The shop, Compressors, Welders, Tools Machine Work. Quality vs price is OUTSTANDING. I don't fixate on the 911 thing its just an example. Paying taxes allows me access to things that are by far better. In just about every way. For me at least. I want more than Thailand can provide. 

[Strange]

25 minutes ago, JAFO said:

 

I am with you and have no objections. I enjoy good reads and I too visit many various sites, mostly car racing and truck off road racing being go offroad with my Thai friends here. Yes I visited this site from time to time for the read while I was in the US as it appears you did(or do). I would never tell anyone not to post, I asked why he did.  My rub with bwpage3 is his utter closed mindedness because he is jaded. He refuses to accept that people do well here and he can't because he didn't. I get it, many expats came here and it didn't work out. Things happen. It could happen in any country. I know lots that emigrated to the US that left in no time as it wasn't what they expected and wanted. We are all individuals and we do what we do for ourselves, not others. Your case in point. I respect and understand your position. You are buying time in hopes an opportunity comes up but you are getting anxious and thinking of options. I couldn't be here (or anywhere for that matter) if I didn't feel like I was contributing in some fashion. Do not get me wrong, I look forward to retirement as I have a ton of things to do and can help with my wife's business but if not I would likely implode as well. I find what happens to some expats is they did not have a plan and they get extremely bored, start to feel trapped and fixate on all the negatives versus taking action to make it better. Its easy to bitch, its harder to make a change( human nature). The ones that finally exit back home then come back and rant and rave about how Thailand is a shithole, its loaded with losers and drunks and again fixate on odd things like you did a bit with the 911 call. I guess that's important to you. I have never used 911 and likely will not. Never was a deal breaker for me anywhere. But I respect its a concern for you. Odd though being you are early 30's. At early 30's I never worried about 911 services. 

 

Its all good and to your point, I am an expat businessman living here with a US salary. I have bank accts, work permit, Credit cards drawn on Thai banks and can get a loan anytime(I just choose not to). This is why I come on here to offer another point of view so people can see that there is another side of Thailand.  I also stated that I would guess a great number of the Expats doing very well never frequent forums, I have persoanlly never asked when we go out for dinner or meet up at conventions etc.

 

Its not all gloom and doom here as some go on about. The US has its own set of problems just like Thailand does. 

 

I know its not all doom and gloom, but you got to admit there are a lot of drunks & losers. I am bored. The things I'm interested in can not be obtained here. Even if I was working offshore, Ive pretty much come to the conclusion that I'm going home. The US provides me with thousands more options from hobbys, travel, boating, fishing, than Thailand will ever provide. I started this thread not because I'm not working and getting bored - these things have been going on for a while now. A lot of people here are haters and don't believe that there is a better life available outside Thailand but for me there is. When I think about buying anything here of value I cringe so hard. 

 

People say "But... But... you make big oil money and complain about thai prices???" or "You can get a condo in BKK for 40K a month..." Its true, however my property in the states is rural but 17 acres, 2000 sq ft shop, and 4 bed 3 bath house was financed all in and costs me 1500 a month. Property tax, insurance, mortgage all in. THATS a value. When I look at that and then compare it to a 40k condo.... 

[JAFO]

1 minute ago, Strange said:

 

I know its not all doom and gloom, but you got to admit there are a lot of drunks & losers. I am bored. The things I'm interested in can not be obtained here. Even if I was working offshore, Ive pretty much come to the conclusion that I'm going home. The US provides me with thousands more options from hobbys, travel, boating, fishing, than Thailand will ever provide. I started this thread not because I'm not working and getting bored - these things have been going on for a while now. A lot of people here are haters and don't believe that there is a better life available outside Thailand but for me there is. When I think about buying anything here of value I cringe so hard. 

 

People say "But... But... you make big oil money and complain about thai prices???" or "You can get a condo in BKK for 40K a month..." Its true, however my property in the states is rural but 17 acres, 2000 sq ft shop, and 4 bed 3 bath house was financed all in and costs me 1500 a month. Property tax, insurance, mortgage all in. THATS a value. When I look at that and then compare it to a 40k condo.... 

 

I hear ya and agree 100%. There are far more drunks and losers here then the ones making a life of it I would have to guess( I do not have data). You know I am an extremely hyper person. I can't sit still for 10 minutes. I drive my wife nuts. When we agreed and planned on moving back here I said, OK, We need to build a nice house on a small bit of land. She agreed and we did. I also said to my wife, I need to find a place to fish, a place to ride my mountain bike, a place to ride my motorcycle and I need an aftermarket 4x4 shop to buy parts for the truck I will buy and likely mod and break it. My wife looked at me cross eyed. Again I need my hobbies and did not want to stop them or at least some) I liked .So I researched and connected with folks (many with my wife's help) and have enough to keep me busy. Sure some of it takes more effort to get what I want but that's OK, It always works out. I screw around modifying my truck, I fish in a river close to my house. I ride my little Yamaha R3 in the mountains. Now in fairness being my wife and I planned this, I loaded up a 40ft container with my stuff and brought it with me. I didn't just land here with a suitcase. So again its all in what one makes of it. I have some great 4X4 friends where I live and met shop owners in BKK. They ship me parts I need via train and I go pick them up and its fun. Its my UPS truck if you will. LOL!!!

 

I also agree that there are some haters (lets call them extremists) on this site that lash out to defend Thailand with a passion. I do not always agree with them. Some clearly have blinders on but its ok just have to filter it. Conversely though there are the ones that left and went back home and come back on a forum and say how great it is back home and how Thailand sucks ass.

 

To another point I also think one problem some also have here is their wives or GF's take good "care" of them but really have no idea how to "support" them. Its different and can have huge implications. My wife and I talked about this on numerous occasions while in the US .

 

My life style and needs are not what everyone desires, wants or needs but sounds like what you need and miss. I used to duck, goose, pig hunt but you know I lost interest in it because of the cost for license, fees, tags, private property laws and rules and neighbors complaining then the sheriff or DFG shows up coupled with that you can't eat the birds anymore due to poisons from where they eat. So letting it go was easy. I found new things to replace it here and I enjoy them.

 

Yes your house is a value for what you have and all the conveniences you grew up knowing are all in place. At 32 I would move back in a minute. Go earn some more cash and set yourself up for retirement later.  Who knows you might move back. As for me, my wife and I designed our own house and had it built and it resides on a few acres. I have my work shop and all my tools and go out and play around when I want too. Sadly I still work though so my personal freedom is clipped a bit that's OK. I love it here. 

 

In the end your decision to move home is the right one. A bit of advice, Its not going to be so easy with your missus. The same things you miss being here, she will miss there (different but the same if that makes sense). I went through all of that with my wife. Its not as grand as some of these guys come on and claim it is, As Gecko 123 said in his excellent post above that they go back with their super young wife and they are never accepted and are always stared at and judged. I saw that many times. Sadly they usually just implode. This is why many will never move back to their home country. They know how they will be judged. Its how people behave.

 

Good Luck man. 

 

[JAFO]

2 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

Has anyone else besides me noticed bwpage's penchant for portraying ALL expats as alcoholic losers living on a shoestring budget in a one room shack? The message is simple: 'I'm not like the rest of you losers and sexpats."  I'm convinced that people who do this (and he's not alone) just have poor coping skills.

 

When they return to the West, married to a much younger Southeast Asian woman who is often poorly educated, speaks non-native English, and socially fits the stereotype of a mail order bride/former bar girl, these white men find themselves on the receiving end of these social stigmas and prejudices for the first time in their life. Often never having been in an interracial relationship before, they struggle to cope with the appraising looks, knowing glances, scornful stares, inappropriate remarks, snickers, and worse.

 

Everyone in the West thinks they know what 'really' goes on in Thailand. Because it makes for salacious and titillating viewing, the country has long been stereotyped in the Western media as one big brothel. Of course, this is a one dimensional portrait of the country, but that's the part most people are familiar with. That's why some guys go to great lengths to set themselves apart from these stereotypes. Elaborate stories about how they met their wife, fabricating educational and professional credentials for the wife, and such. Coming on ThaiVisa to make sweeping putdowns of the expat community is just a feeble attempt to cope, by distancing themselves from these stigmas and social prejudices. 

 

When I read bwpage3's posts I cringe to think what it must be like for a Thai woman with a 'sanuk' bone in her body to live with him. I genuinely fear for his wife's welfare. It's hard not to imagine him verbally battering his family with the same forceful 'slam-your-fists-on-the-table' negative opinions about Thailand which he regularly voices here. I hope for his wife's sake I am wrong, but I am picturing a seethingly angry, humorless, opinionated, rigidly inflexible guy. Just a word to the wise: in my experience, few Thai women are willing to put up with these unpleasant traits over the long term.

 

The other reason I have given bwpage3 so much grief over his posts is that I find them quite insulting. He seems to have decided that he is the only foreigner who has ever lived in Thailand who is well-educated, financially secure, and has good life-planning skills. He isn't. There are tens of thousands of guys living happily in Thailand who have every bit as much on the ball as he does, and his inability to recognize this does not reflect well on his much ballyhooed learning skills.

 

Outstanding post Gecko. I have the same sentiment about his posts as well. We had a similar back and forth in another post he had when he left and went on a tyrant rage about it all. He is living in a vacuum it appears and he only sees what he wants to see.

 

Cheers

[Strange]

20 minutes ago, JAFO said:

I hear ya and agree 100%. There are far more drunks and losers here then the ones making a life of it I would have to guess( I do not have data). You know I am an extremely hyper person. I can't sit still for 10 minutes. I drive my wife nuts. When we agreed and planned on moving back here I said, OK, We need to build a nice house on a small bit of land. She agreed and we did. I also said to my wife, I need to find a place to fish, a place to ride my mountain bike, a place to ride my motorcycle and I need an aftermarket 4x4 shop to buy parts for the truck I will buy and likely mod and break it. My wife looked at me cross eyed. Again I need my hobbies and did not want to stop them or at least some) I liked .So I researched and connected with folks (many with my wife's help) and have enough to keep me busy. Sure some of it takes more effort to get what I want but that's OK, It always works out. I screw around modifying my truck, I fish in a river close to my house. I ride my little Yamaha R3 in the mountains. Now in fairness being my wife and I planned this, I loaded up a 40ft container with my stuff and brought it with me. I didn't just land here with a suitcase. So again its all in what one makes of it. I have some great 4X4 friends where I live and met shop owners in BKK. They ship me parts I need via train and I go pick them up and its fun. Its my UPS truck if you will. LOL!!!

 

I also agree that there are some haters (lets call them extremists) on this site that lash out to defend Thailand with a passion. I do not always agree with them. Some clearly have blinders on but its ok just have to filter it. Conversely though there are the ones that left and went back home and come back on a forum and say how great it is back home and how Thailand sucks ass.

 

To another point I also think one problem some also have here is their wives or GF's take good "care" of them but really have no idea how to "support" them. Its different and can have huge implications. My wife and I talked about this on numerous occasions while in the US .

 

My life style and needs are not what everyone desires, wants or needs but sounds like what you need and miss. I used to duck, goose, pig hunt but you know I lost interest in it because of the cost for license, fees, tags, private property laws and rules and neighbors complaining then the sheriff or DFG shows up coupled with that you can't eat the birds anymore due to poisons from where they eat. So letting it go was easy. I found new things to replace it here and I enjoy them.

 

Yes your house is a value for what you have and all the conveniences you grew up knowing are all in place. At 32 I would move back in a minute. Go earn some more cash and set yourself up for retirement later.  Who knows you might move back. As for me, my wife and I designed our own house and had it built and it resides on a few acres. I have my work shop and all my tools and go out and play around when I want too. Sadly I still work though so my personal freedom is clipped a bit that's OK. I love it here. 

 

In the end your decision to move home is the right one. A bit of advice, Its not going to be so easy with your missus. The same things you miss being here, she will miss there (different but the same if that makes sense). I went through all of that with my wife. Its not as grand as some of these guys come on and claim it is, As Gecko 123 said in his excellent post above that they go back with their super young wife and they are never accepted and are always stared at and judged. I saw that many times. Sadly they usually just implode. This is why many will never move back to their home country. They know how they will be judged. Its how people behave.

 

Good Luck man. 

 

Last few years Ive been back and forth with the wife Thailand to USA. I might move back and I will for sure keep the place that I'm renting. Its so cheap and the owner is English. 

 

My main concern moving back is if the wife can handle it. Thai food is easy, the only problem we had was finding thai basil - the krappow one - everything else, down to her favorite brand of fish sauce and oyster sauce was easily obtainable online and almost the same price as thailand. Asian markets everywhere and we don't have import tax so things are not expensive. Thai temples. All there. 

 

I hope she can handle it. I know its hard to relocate, but i can't stay in thailand. Not all the time. I don't want to think it or set it up for failure, but if it comes to a point of living in Thailand only or divorce, well, I don't like ultimatums. World is too big to sit around eating rice & noodles. 

[amykat]

5 hours ago, JAFO said:

 

Outstanding post Gecko. I have the same sentiment about his posts as well. We had a similar back and forth in another post he had when he left and went on a tyrant rage about it all. He is living in a vacuum it appears and he only sees what he wants to see.

 

Cheers

 

Frankly I am shocked that you agreed with this Gecko man's post!  I don't want to re-quote that abusive piece of crap so sorry to just quote what you wrote.  I just re-read all of bwpage3 posts in case I missed something and I didn't.  I find everything he wrote perfectly reasonable and on topic.   If you JAFO have the nice life you describe in the US and Thailand (which I do not doubt) then I can't understand why you would have any insecurity that would cause you to act this way/feel this way  ...I believe only people who have some kind of problems ...personality disorders, whatever,  or can't relate to lifestyles they have never lived, might attack people in the way he was attacked on this this thread.  But maybe there more reasons I can't think of right now?

 

Anyway, I want to give Gecko -10 Likes and maybe JAFO you would like to re-think your position because you have said many reasonable things ...so I wonder??

 

[Gecko123]

7 hours ago, JAFO said:

 

I hear ya and agree 100%. There are far more drunks and losers here then the ones making a life of it I would have to guess( I do not have data). You know I am an extremely hyper person. I can't sit still for 10 minutes. I drive my wife nuts. When we agreed and planned on moving back here I said, OK, We need to build a nice house on a small bit of land. She agreed and we did. I also said to my wife, I need to find a place to fish, a place to ride my mountain bike, a place to ride my motorcycle and I need an aftermarket 4x4 shop to buy parts for the truck I will buy and likely mod and break it. My wife looked at me cross eyed. Again I need my hobbies and did not want to stop them or at least some) I liked .So I researched and connected with folks (many with my wife's help) and have enough to keep me busy. Sure some of it takes more effort to get what I want but that's OK, It always works out. I screw around modifying my truck, I fish in a river close to my house. I ride my little Yamaha R3 in the mountains. Now in fairness being my wife and I planned this, I loaded up a 40ft container with my stuff and brought it with me. I didn't just land here with a suitcase. So again its all in what one makes of it. I have some great 4X4 friends where I live and met shop owners in BKK. They ship me parts I need via train and I go pick them up and its fun. Its my UPS truck if you will. LOL!!!

 

I also agree that there are some haters (lets call them extremists) on this site that lash out to defend Thailand with a passion. I do not always agree with them. Some clearly have blinders on but its ok just have to filter it. Conversely though there are the ones that left and went back home and come back on a forum and say how great it is back home and how Thailand sucks ass.

 

To another point I also think one problem some also have here is their wives or GF's take good "care" of them but really have no idea how to "support" them. Its different and can have huge implications. My wife and I talked about this on numerous occasions while in the US .

 

My life style and needs are not what everyone desires, wants or needs but sounds like what you need and miss. I used to duck, goose, pig hunt but you know I lost interest in it because of the cost for license, fees, tags, private property laws and rules and neighbors complaining then the sheriff or DFG shows up coupled with that you can't eat the birds anymore due to poisons from where they eat. So letting it go was easy. I found new things to replace it here and I enjoy them.

 

Yes your house is a value for what you have and all the conveniences you grew up knowing are all in place. At 32 I would move back in a minute. Go earn some more cash and set yourself up for retirement later.  Who knows you might move back. As for me, my wife and I designed our own house and had it built and it resides on a few acres. I have my work shop and all my tools and go out and play around when I want too. Sadly I still work though so my personal freedom is clipped a bit that's OK. I love it here. 

 

In the end your decision to move home is the right one. A bit of advice, Its not going to be so easy with your missus. The same things you miss being here, she will miss there (different but the same if that makes sense). I went through all of that with my wife. Its not as grand as some of these guys come on and claim it is, As Gecko 123 said in his excellent post above that they go back with their super young wife and they are never accepted and are always stared at and judged. I saw that many times. Sadly they usually just implode. This is why many will never move back to their home country. They know how they will be judged. Its how people behave.

 

Good Luck man. 

 

 

Thank you, JAFO. Very happy that the often overlooked issue of Thai spouse acculturation in the West is finally getting some airtime. Would additionally like to compliment pgrahamm for his thoughtful comments (page 4 post #81) on this issue as well. 

[JAFO]

7 hours ago, JAFO said:

 

Outstanding post Gecko. I have the same sentiment about his posts as well. We had a similar back and forth in another post he had when he left and went on a tyrant rage about it all. He is living in a vacuum it appears and he only sees what he wants to see.

 

Cheers

 

Well the reality is that the woman will follow the man anywhere with little regard to the implications. Some how many men think that everybody wants to live in the US and its an opportunity of a lifetime but once they get there the reality settles in. Its just like the men here in Thailand. Look how many posts have the trapped and angry underpinnings hidden in them.

 

In our 4 years in the US I got to sense when my wife was getting homesick and anxious. I would send her home for a month. I got it.  She missed the smells of home, The food, The weather, Speaking Thai to friends and family.  I know many men that brought women from Vietnam and Laos and the men couldn't understand why it all fell apart. In the end the men couldn't handle it in Vietnam or Laos and said we are moving never considering the exact feelings they felt will be what the gal will likely feel at some point. The difference sadly are many are trapped. They gave up everything to move with the man.

It shouldn't be overlooked but is.  My wife didn't like the US after 4 years and was elated to leave it.  Our house was done and she asked if can we go back now.  I said yep.  I got it.  

 

And to your other point sadly many of these women get abused. Maybe not physically but mentally. My wife showed me a few Thai forums of women in the US that they would reach out to talk to others about how they are being treated and many were terribly depressed. Some wanted help to leave back to Thailand.  Wanted to sneak out and leave. Many are too afraid to speak out as they either lack good command of the English language or feel like if they get kicked out where will they go.  We used to go to a Wat near Berkeley so my wife could pray for her Mom or honor certain Thai holidays.  Lots of interesting stories my wife heard.

 

Anyway. It is good this type of discussion is out there.