Brit Bashing

[ourmanflint]

This is one of those threads that makes me claim the Welsh half of my heritage!

Down with the Pommie B*****ds!

That's good we definitely count our Welsh brethren as British! Even Scots are British... though they may deny it on occasion.

In fact you lot were British until 1986 and the Australia act

[Mighty Mouse]

I see you missed out the part where the convicts had to work off their sentence under terrible conditions, hard labour.. under ruthless land owners... slaves really

Not at all...this is how we fooled the Poms, and they were really easy to fool....still are for that matter.

The convicts worked off their sentence in luxury compared to what they eagerly left behind in the Mother country. Three meals a day, a bed to sleep in and the land owners daughter for warmth at night.

In order for the convicts to bring their families out to Australia, they had to get stories of hardship and brutality back to the authorities in England so that when their other family members in England stole a loaf of bread, they too would be transported to the penal colony as punishment.

It worked like a charm. Whole families were sent to Oz, but rather than being punished, they became land owners, architects, lawyers, ship builders, amazing cricketers...the list goes on. In other words, they thrived and snubbed their noses at you Poms. We Aussies have carried on the tradition to this very day, and we still snub our noses at you Poms.

You call us "slaves", but our 'slaves' beat the living daylights out of you Poms in the last two cricket tests. If your team of cricketers (and I use that description lightly) were from Russia, the whole team would defect and become Australians.

I heard a whisper that your team members applied to become Aussie citizens but we rejected them and washed our hands of them....something that Poms don't know how to do....wash, I mean.

[phusingpete]

I see you missed out the part where the convicts had to work off their sentence under terrible conditions, hard labour.. under ruthless land owners... slaves really

Not at all...this is how we fooled the Poms, and they were really easy to fool....still are for that matter.

The convicts worked off their sentence in luxury compared to what they eagerly left behind in the Mother country. Three meals a day, a bed to sleep in and the land owners daughter for warmth at night.

In order for the convicts to bring their families out to Australia, they had to get stories of hardship and brutality back to the authorities in England so that when their other family members in England stole a loaf of bread, they too would be transported to the penal colony as punishment.

It worked like a charm. Whole families were sent to Oz, but rather than being punished, they became land owners, architects, lawyers, ship builders, amazing cricketers...the list goes on. In other words, they thrived and snubbed their noses at you Poms. We Aussies have carried on the tradition to this very day, and we still snub our noses at you Poms.

You call us "slaves", but our 'slaves' beat the living daylights out of you Poms in the last two cricket tests. If your team of cricketers (and I use that description lightly) were from Russia, the whole team would defect and become Australians.

I heard a whisper that your team members applied to become Aussie citizens but we rejected them and washed our hands of them....something that Poms don't know how to do....wash, I mean.

I am a Brit who spent some time in Oz, and have to say had a great time. Always felt that Oz pub life and humour was the same as back home, except for the ozzie piss they drink.

I recall an interview on British television with Dame Edna, the greatest of all Oz persons. When asked why Oz men were so great at sport, she replied that they were so dedicated they did not allow any other activity to distract or interfere with their sport, particularly anything related to intellectual,cultural or artistic pursuits.

As for no disease, this is probably true, but of course you took it with you and wiped out a very large proportion of the indigenous population.

Why sleep with the landowners daughter when you had all those beautiful black chicks to choose from.

[SamuiJens]

Here are some shots of the English lads abroad displaying their best side to the world......and this was before they started brawling and urinating in doorways.

FORGOT HOW ULGY YOU GUYS REALLY ARE-LOL

Not to mention your gay side!

Edited December 6, 2006 by SamuiJens

[ourmanflint]

FORGOT HOW ULGY YOU GUYS REALLY ARE-LOL

It's not how ugly you are on the outside is it...

if only you had a mirror to see how ugly you are on the inside!! Every post is full of bile!!

[Wolfie]

That's good we definitely count our Welsh brethren as British! Even Scots are British... though they may deny it on occasion.

In fact you lot were British until 1986 and the Australia act

You can count us in any way you choose to, but you show me a welshman or scotsman who claims they are british, and for every one your provide, i will provide 100 that say different!

[ourmanflint]

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

^~-.___.-*^'"\___|||___/"'^*-.___.-~^

~=-._.-~* Wolfie *~-._.-=~

*-.._,-~"\__ __/"~-,_..-*

/__\

You don't mean that great Australian sport of hunting the "black fellas" do you mate??

Edited December 6, 2006 by ourmanflint

[Sing_Sling]

Close to 30 pages of Brit-bashing and Brit-defending. Can any other nationality boast such acrimonious repatee? Nah, for once the Brits win something! Ouch, ouch, ouch, the Ashes are proving to be quite a shame, aren't they.

The only thing Brits have going for them in a forum like this is their fabled sense of humour - which really has no equal.

[Robski]

This is one of those threads that makes me claim the Welsh half of my heritage!

Down with the Pommie B*****ds!

That's good we definitely count our Welsh brethren as British! Even Scots are British... though they may deny it on occasion.

In fact you lot were British until 1986 and the Australia act

I've never met a Welshman that claimed or wanted to be to be British, I can take being called an English c##t by the Jocks 'cos I know they're only joking and secretly admire the English

But when the Welsh 'jokingly' call you a English <deleted> you know it aint a joke 'cos they hate everyone that aint Welsh, except sheep and then they don't care where it comes from.

I mean what is their problem!? we always try to be nice to them. bloody sheepshaggers. I think it's 'cos they're crap at football.

Edited December 6, 2006 by Robski

[Wolfie]

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

^~-.___.-*^'"\___|||___/"'^*-.___.-~^

~=-._.-~* Wolfie *~-._.-=~

*-.._,-~"\__ __/"~-,_..-*

/__\

You don't mean that great Australian sport of hunting the "black fellas" do you mate??

Nah, us welsh have changed the game rules slightly to refine the game to a more internationally acceptable level, we now call it "hunting the illicit child of a rabid dingo (aka Ozzie) fellas"

[slackula]

You can count us in any way you choose to, but you show me a welshman or scotsman who claims they are british, and for every one your provide, i will provide 100 that say different!

*raises hand*

I am one of the Wolfie 100.

/Welsh, born and bred.

[Wolfie]

I've never met a Welshman that claimed or wanted to be to be British, I can take being called an English c##t by the Jocks 'cos I know they're only joking and secretly admire the English

But when the Welsh 'jokingly' call you a English <deleted> you know it aint a joke 'cos they hate everyone that aint Welsh, except sheep and then they don't care where it comes from.

Calling a Welshman "an English c**t" is the quickest route to hospital (with maybe the exception of calling a scottsman and English c**t - they do tend to react more violently than us!)

[slackula]

Oops, I forgot to bash somebody!

*sticks out tongue at the English*

[Robski]

Funny that Wolfie. the Welsh take offence more about being called English than sheepshaggers.

What have they got against us? hahahahahahahahaha! I used to say the further I got away from England the more I found people liked the English, dunno if that's true anymore. and why is it the English have to pay to cross the Severn Bridge to get into Wales when the Welsh can get into England for free, surely some mistake there. lol.

Edited December 6, 2006 by Robski

[slackula]

Funny that Wolfie. the Welsh take offence more about being called English than sheepshaggers.

Just goes to show that we have our priorities right. English<sheepshagger.

[Wolfie]

Just goes to show that we have our priorities right. English<sheepshagger.

hehe ain't that the truth...

[Robski]

Peace.

[wolf359]

[You can count us in any way you choose to, but you show me a welshman or scotsman who claims they are british, and for every one your provide, i will provide 100 that say different!

Show me a Englishman who will say he is British and I will show you 1000 that say different !! it works both ways.

[ashacat]

This thread is getting crap.

[Robski]

[You can count us in any way you choose to, but you show me a welshman or scotsman who claims they are british, and for every one your provide, i will provide 100 that say different!

Show me a Englishman who will say he is British and I will show you 1000 that say different !! it works both ways.

Luckily I've never had foreigners mistakenly identify me as Scottish or Welsh, that would feel so humiliating, being called British is bad enough and is soon corrected.

Edited December 6, 2006 by Robski

[Robski]

This thread is getting crap.

Is it something you've just realised, or has it been building up over a period of posts?

[Wolfie]

Is it something you've just realised, or has it been building up over a period of posts?

lets hope the latter...

[slackula]

This thread is getting crap.

30 pages and ~400 posts in a thread titled "Brit bashing". Whisky Tango Foxtrot did you expect????

[Cigarette Burn]

That's good we definitely count our Welsh brethren as British! Even Scots are British... though they may deny it on occasion.

In fact you lot were British until 1986 and the Australia act

You can count us in any way you choose to, but you show me a welshman or scotsman who claims they are british, and for every one your provide, i will provide 100 that say different!

Make sure you remember to tell imigration that your NOT British as you show them your British passport then.

[ourmanflint]

Yes I think this thread has been hijacked by the Australian Mafiosi who never cease to be amused at their own humour they sit all day long and laugh at themselves when calling us Poms.

If anybody who isn't Australian has something to add to the topic please do otherwise can the down under crew please lay off.!

Maybe this thread has served it's purpose... MOD!!

[Robski]

What happens when it gets to 500 posts? does it automatically close? does it get pinned? or does ourmanflint get a booby prize for longest running aimless topic? is there a point? will there be a conclusion? or is Brit bashing everyones favorite topic?

[Wolfie]

Make sure you remember to tell imigration that your NOT British as you show them your British passport then.

I'm waiting for my Welsh passport...

Its in the post, apparently

[ourmanflint]

Make sure you remember to tell imigration that your NOT British as you show them your British passport then.

Did you know that... in Australia

Before 1983, a married woman's passport application had to be authorised by her husband;

You blokes are way ahead of us all on that one!!

[Wolfie]

What happens when it gets to 500 posts? does it automatically close? does it get pinned? or does ourmanflint get a booby prize for longest running aimless topic? is there a point? will there be a conclusion? or is Brit bashing everyones favorite topic?

We give the top 5 contributers a week long holiday, the thread gets destroyed and all Welshmen get a free sheep, of their choosing, for 1 hour in a short time room at the back of Nana Plaza!

Wooohooo! Post More!!! Post More!!!

[ourmanflint]

What happens when it gets to 500 posts? does it automatically close? does it get pinned? or does ourmanflint get a booby prize for longest running aimless topic? is there a point? will there be a conclusion? or is Brit bashing everyones favorite topic?

ooh ooh yes!! Booby prize... that's the one for me.... where do I claim her/it/them... ??

Don't tease me OK..