Farang+ Thai partner choices.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

 

 
I've been chatting to a very attractive girl in the deep south. She's 35 and well traveled, but has never had children. To me this is abnormal, and I doubt I'll waste time hooking up with her.
 

 
 

You are wrong about children. Has nothing to do with maturity especially in Thailand. As a matter of fact she is probably more mature as she didn't offer herself to some cheating somchai.

Thai woman that age with no kids are a rare find and they are usually loaded. If she's from the south most likely her family has lots of land. Just sayin'

[Elkski]

I wont go so far to make a spreadsheet. lol.

Ok forget my  lists

I know love just happens

I do think there is a difference between girls and women.. 

But based on my age, and things I have told you I was hoping someone would say you know there are a lot of women who's husbands dumped her and the kids at 30 for a teen. And many have made something of themselves and matured into great lovers that their Thai husband now regret losing.... or something... Maybe tell me that at 56 it would be crazy for me to aim for a 50 yr old and not 42 or 36?  

[Fabricus]

10 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

You are wrong about children. Has nothing to do with maturity especially in Thailand. As a matter of fact she is probably more mature as she didn't offer herself to some cheating somchai.

Thai woman that age with no kids are a rare find and they are usually loaded. If she's from the south most likely her family has lots of land. Just sayin'

 

 

Fair enough. You're welcome to your opinions.

 

I like children. I like women (rather than girls) who understand motherhood and parenting.

 

 

 

[shadmo63]

Personally I hate jealous insecure women be they 30 or 50 or 70. Doesn't matter, they'll drive you mad. Some seem to think it's a way to show they love you, but they can have it. Age doesn't guarantee maturity.


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

[Elkski]

Lots of good and varied observations/opinions.   

Can I say my initial impressions are almost to good to be true compared to the local dating scene.  And I'm not ugly.    

[Strange]

15 hours ago, starky said:

Look im hearing you and there is nothing like the exuberance of youth especially in a sexual partner but you are really extracting the urine when you say you would have nothing in common with a woman your own age. Not only is it insulting to a whole generation of women its a fallacy. I assume all your male friends are at least 20 years younger than you as well because what could you possibly have in common with someone your own age?

 

What I got from VF's post (before reading his/others replies) was to live your life the way you want to live it, and meet like minded people along the way.

 

Living this way I believe you can't go wrong and have a better chance to meet people/women that you get on with, regardless of age and background (within reason of course). 

 

I think this way of life is great as it allows people to be themselves and unite on like minded beliefs/interests. 

 

HOWEVER

 

TIT

[rogeroc]

I disagree with the above if you want to play badminton go to a badminton club, if you want to do campanology go to a church , if you want to meet women go to a dating site.

 

50 year old's can be great now but think about 10 years time when you are still a fit 66 / 67

 

You do not want kids so don't look for a childless woman of child bearing age, that is unfair to her.

 

So that pretty well leaves your choice straight forward, late 30's, early 40's if grown up kids, 44 to 45 if no kids.

 

Don't get too hung up if a woman needs a bit of your financial support, you have had massive opportunities to earn much, much more than her and a bit of help will make her more grateful which is a desirable thing. Having said that i think it is vital that she has some interests to keep her occupied and some income earnt by herself, even if it is small.

Edited November 3, 2016 by rogeroc

[Elkski]

1 hour ago, rogeroc said:

...So that pretty well leaves your choice straight forward, late 30's, early 40's if grown up kids, 44 to 45 if no kids....

 I guess you are saying that since I think I am wanting kids to be older I consider those women who had a child at 20 and so at 38 have an 18 yr old? Is early marriage and children very common? Hopefully child or children will be  college bound, I probably cant expect the father to be paying for this very often.

2nd group  are the women without children and cant have them so they need to be past child bearing  age so 44+ Do Thai women understand how fast the risk of complications for mother and or child goes up after 42+? 

I would never try to discourage a woman from the joys of motherhood.

Edited November 3, 2016 by Elkski
motherhood line

[Fabricus]

18 hours ago, villagefarang said:

Just to clarify, met at 23 and 43.  .......  You only need to find one and I never would have found her online.

 

I missed this comment earlier.

 

Trust me, dating sites are packed full of Thai girls in their early twenties who are more than willing to pair off with farangs twenty years their senior.

 

If you can tolerate their immaturity and are prepared to buy them a house, you've got yourself a little girlfriend. 

 

PS. There's one guy on this forum who has a little girlie 50 years his junior. Yes, FIFTY!!!! Can't remember his username, though. I bet he's a happy man!

 

[ScotBkk]

Well considering my first wife and I were together for 30 years I think my thinking  can be fruitful.
I should add that I spent time in BKK, Ayutthaya, Pattaya, Rayong, Sriracha, pang gna, Koh Samui, Phuket, Hau Hin, Phitsanuluk, and koh Phi Phi.
I guess I am so new that I don't know what quality of women are within my reach.  So I guess I'm asking about who my target demographic should be considering my age and willingness to live part time in thailand and learn the culture. I have read enough forums to know that many of you are just trolls and sometimes I laugh.  I have thick skin. But please try to share your knowledge with me. 
Why do I need good luck?.. I don't believe Luck has much place in love and relationships. I do hope to fall in love but based on my past that occurs very slowly for me.  It seems that Thai women know so quickly.  I hope that didn't open up the flood gates of trolls? I hope to keep my  integrity.  Although sex is 30% of a successful relationship and  some just wont do! I am not into training from scratch or trying to change lazy habits.  With all the modern methods we now have for reaching vast numbers of partners online its a new and evolving game. I do think it best that I come to Thailand and live someplace and try to meet people in non bar settings. I know I should take my time to fit in some and that may bear the best fruit..  I have already poked my nose in it just on my initial visits.  I like the smell.

Hope you don't poke your nose in our Soi !! Enough Sad Boring Bastards as it is.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Elkski]

lol What Soi?

I have daughters in low 20's...  I think I would be ecstatic with a 38 yr old. and I wont be buying anyone a house.  if she owns one I can pay rent.

[JAFO]

On 11/3/2016 at 3:14 PM, Fabricus said:

Trust me, dating sites are packed full of Thai girls in their early twenties who are more than willing to pair off with farangs twenty years their senior.

 

If you can tolerate their immaturity and are prepared to buy them a house, you've got yourself a little girlfriend. 

 

PS. There's one guy on this forum who has a little girlie 50 years his junior. Yes, FIFTY!!!! Can't remember his username, though. I bet he's a happy man!

 

Amen to that Fabricus. There are women on dating sites that have 3, 4 or even 5 foreigner men on the hook and sadly many of them buy the deal and start sending money. Still amazes me to this day. I remember one day I was picking up a few friends at a Condo in BKK. I had always heard of the stories of the internet scam events. I was down stairs waiting for them and I walked into this "Internet" cafe to grab a water and I saw this girl pivoting back and forth as she had 2 foreigners on Skype and playing them like a fiddle. I just laughed.  I personally met another guy that got virtually cleaned out by a gal he met on an internet dating site. Its a target rich environment.

 

Thank goodness I have never had to meet women using dating sites. I say go meet people naturally. Get off social media. Why is that so hard? Heck I see women all over the place. You see them and how they behave, you see them at their work, you know whats in front of you. Just smile and be friendly.

 

To Elkski,  I say come here. Take your time, travel around. Live in a few places. The right woman will come along when the time is right. Read about the culture and the way to interact. Learning a bit of Thai will help. I would avoid setting rigid hard-lined expectations like I have been reading. There is nothing wrong with having a small list of some expectations but be flexible and adaptable. I also absolutely agree there is a SIGNIFICANT difference here between women and girls and I still say that the vast majority of Asian women in general are 5 to 10 years behind in maturity then what us western men from the US are accustomed to. I see hundreds every day at work. I live it and see it first hand.  I seriously doubt you want to come here to raise a "Dependent" or be a night in shining armor. :)

 

Good Luck

 

 

[JAFO]

On 11/2/2016 at 7:49 PM, villagefarang said:

To be honest I am not particularly fond of males my age either.  They are just too damn old.  Sorry if old people are insulted but that is how I feel.

 

I am the same way at least here in regards to foreigners. In the US I had a nice friend base that covered ages from 30 to my age now (50's). Some of the younger guys were engineers I was mentoring and we became friends. I think its important to have a cross section if you can. But to VF's point,  here I have met maybe a few dozen foreigners and they are just too damn old. They do very little exciting and I have absolutely nothing in common with them. I am an active outdoors guy and still wrench on cars and go offroading. I fish, ride my motorcycle, hike etc. Seems like when I have met a foreigner over the last 8 to 10 years they are old, ailing and drink a lot, go to bars and all they think about is the young gal they met online that they will squeeze later. Life is way bigger then drinking and VJJ to me. 

[rogeroc]

On 11/3/2016 at 8:47 PM, Elkski said:

2nd group  are the women without children and cant have them so they need to be past child bearing  age so 44+ Do Thai women understand how fast the risk of complications for mother and or child goes up after 42+? 

I would never try to discourage a woman from the joys of motherhood.

 

 

I am not convinced that the risks between 40 and 44 do increase that much,  particularly so if the woman is healthy. The chances of them becomng pregnant do decrease rapidly though.

[rogeroc]

9 hours ago, JAFO said:

Thank goodness I have never had to meet women using dating sites. I say go meet people naturally. Get off social media. Why is that so hard? Heck I see women all over the place. You see them and how they behave, you see them at their work, you know whats in front of you. Just smile and be friendly.

 

To Elkski,  I say come here. Take your time, travel around. Live in a few places. The right woman will come along when the time is right. Read about the culture and the way to interact. 

 

It is well known that there are a lot of 'professional girls' on dating sites but as long as one is aware and prepared for that their true colours will unfold quickly. 

 

Unlike your goodself it sounds like the OP will be living a retired lifestyle here and unless he is happy to approach women cold it will not be so easy to meet them,  as  it is for you. The Internet is the easiest way to meet a girl that meets criteria and the OP does have significant criteria that he expects a girl to meet. Also why wait for the 'right woman' to hopefully come along when you can go out and find. Life s short and i personally think your advice is a bit cliched

Edited November 5, 2016 by rogeroc

[Elkski]

The dating sites are actually quite advanced these days. If she seems good and mutual  interest then you take the convo to the Line application.  Its like Skype but better.  You can create notes, photo albums. Send pics and videos effortlessly using a smart phone.  All photos you have ever shared can be pulled up in an instant.   With live video from anywhere you can really feel if there is some chemistry.   Of course with all online impersonal meetings you need to calibrate your online mental image to real life. I had a few  shocking dates here in the states but after recalibration and demanding to see pictures below the chin, not in a snowmobile suit it worked well.   But a new hazard has popped up.  Photo apps that automatically make a woman look great.  I'm not kidding!  Google it.  70% of all female Facebook pictures use a photo app

   They automatically remove zits, wrinkles and are amazing and I demand raw phone pics.   I get push back often but I demand or say bye.  

[villagefarang]

I find your attitude toward women a bit disturbing and I certainly wouldn’t introduce you to anyone I know.  No doubt you think you are a great catch, however.

[shadmo63]

 
I am not convinced that the risks between 40 and 44 do increase that much,  particularly so if the woman is healthy. The chances of them becomng pregnant do decrease rapidly though.

The chances of genetic abnormalities (eg. Down's Syndrome) increase with each year of the age of the mother especially after 35. Some Australian figures:-
At 20 years - 1 in 503
At 25 - 1 in 476
At 30 - 1 in 384
At 35 - 1 in 192
At 40 - 1 in 66
At 45 - 1 in 21
Of course Genetic Tests can be done early in pregnancy to detect for abnormalities.

https://embryology.med.unsw.edu.au/embryology/index.php/Genetic_riskmaternal_age


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

[Fabricus]

3 hours ago, shadmo63 said:

The chances of genetic abnormalities (eg. Down's Syndrome) increase with each year of the age of the mother especially after 35. Some Australian figures:-
At 20 years - 1 in 503
At 25 - 1 in 476
At 30 - 1 in 384
At 35 - 1 in 192
At 40 - 1 in 66
At 45 - 1 in 21
Of course Genetic Tests can be done early in pregnancy to detect for abnormalities.

https://embryology.med.unsw.edu.au/embryology/index.php/Genetic_riskmaternal_age


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

 

That's a very good post.

 

I'l keep this purposely vague, but .........

 

1. I met a girl on ThaiFriendly back in 2011. She was thirty two.

 

2. We lived together for five years.

 

3. Two or three years into the relationship we tried to start a family.

 

4. After four years -- at the age of thirty six --  she worried a lot about the risks involved.

 

5. Her friend had conceived at the age of thirty eight. The friend's son was abnormal. It'd be inappropriate to go into detail.

 

6. The girl I was with was scared, and things kind of fizzled out.

 

-----

 

My point is straightforward: all normal Thai girls want to start families, but they're as aware of the risks as other girls elsewhere. 

 

 

 

[SaintLouisBlues]

1 minute ago, Fabricus said:

My point is straightforward: all normal Thai girls want to start families, but they're as aware of the risks as other girls elsewhere. 

So if a Thai girl doesn't want to start a family she's not "normal"?

[Fabricus]

7 minutes ago, SaintLouisBlues said:

So if a Thai girl doesn't want to start a family she's not "normal"?

 

Obviously.

 

Did you really need to ask?

 

All girls dream of marrying their prince and getting wed in white and having beautiful babies. 

 

All girls want children. Girl loves babies.

 

Thankfully for you, your mother was normal. And so was you father. 

[Elkski]

But nothing wrong if a woman decides to not have children or declines all the implantation and hormone crazy stuff.  But there really is a wall of risk probability that gets steep at 38-42.    

[SaintLouisBlues]

1 hour ago, Fabricus said:

Thankfully for you, your mother was normal. And so was you father. 

Clearly you know nothing about either of them

[rogeroc]

 

38 minutes ago, Elkski said:

But nothing wrong if a woman decides to not have children or declines all the implantation and hormone crazy stuff.  But there really is a wall of risk probability that gets steep at 38-42.    

 

Risk probability is somewhat irrelevent if the risks are still overall low and also if early tests can be done to determine them. The statistics quoted just compare general risks dependent on age, they do not take into account the health of individuals.

[Elkski]

There are also increases in risks for the woman.   The point is there is some dividing point where a woman will decide to not risk it.  So she is in a different group as far as a 56 yr old farang is concerned.  

 

[SaintLouisBlues]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2016/11/02/when-julia-louis-dreyfus-plays-single-women-theyre-real-and-theyre-spectacular/

[Boon Mee]

12 hours ago, rogeroc said:

. Also why wait for the 'right woman' to hopefully come along when you can go out and find. Life s short and i personally think your advice is a bit cliched

The more spontaneity the better.

As Forrest Gump famously said:  Life is a box of chocolates..."

[villagefarang]

Women who are not slaves to their hormonal urges and have the ability to think for themselves rather than blindly following the herd down a path not of their choosing, are true gems.  They standout against the sea of normality and mediocrity which swallows most people and produces neglected offspring. 

[Berkshire]

3 hours ago, SaintLouisBlues said:

So if a Thai girl doesn't want to start a family she's not "normal"?

 

Have to agree with Fabricus.  Do you really have to ask this question?  Firstly, "normal" is simply the majority.  Pretty much every childless Thai girl I've ever dated wants to have children and family now or eventually.  Now I have met a few older Thai women (over 50) who've never had children and at this point, don't want any.  Maybe they did at one time, maybe not.  But they are not normal.  Nothing wrong with that, but it's just not normal.

 

So let me ask you, do you think the majority of Thai females who've never had children and can still have children:

 

1.  Want to have children and family, or

2.  Never want to have children.

 

Simple question.

[villagefarang]

I say anyone who has no greater ambition than to be ‘normal’ is risking a sad unfulfilled existence.  I know several women who have chosen not to produce offspring and while sometimes enjoying the company of men, really have no desire to subjugate themselves to the whims of a man who does not understand them and does not see them as equal.  Normal is overrated in my opinion.