The following are paraprosdokians. A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected and oft times very humorous:
 
*If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me very attractive.  
*I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they're flashing behind you.  
*Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.  
*Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.  
*I'm great at multitasking; I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.   
*If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.  
*Take my advice — I'm not using it.  
*My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.  
*Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were.  
*Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.  
*Ever stop to think and then forget to start again? 
*Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.  
*He who laughs last thinks slowest.  
*Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?  
*Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.  
*I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.  
*Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.  
*I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn't find it.  
*If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.  
*Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.  
*If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?  
*Money is the root of all wealth.

 

 

And what about the definition of supercalifagalisticexpialadosus. Big word too.

Yep you can find lots of funny stuff surfing google. 

Edited November 27, 20169 yr by Kwasaki

Never pet a dog that's on fire.

3 hours ago, Kwasaki said:

Yep you can find lots of funny stuff surfing google. 

 

So - we're all  stuck here at #5 Kwa ?

I've gone to the fridge...........

Here, hold my beer.

The sooner you fall behind , the more time you have to catch up.

Jesus loves you. 

Everybody else thinks you're a c@#!

Words to live by? Ask Garbo

 

19 hours ago, pgrahmm said:

So - we're all  stuck here at #5 Kwa ?

 

Nah l like what l call funny quotes can't pronounce what ya call em. 

There's all sorts like " Your cheeks are like petals, bicycle petals.

 

"How do you know someone is telling truth when you know you would lie if you were in there place."

 

There's a time and place for em that's all.

Edited November 28, 20169 yr by Kwasaki

just asked Thai wife

howth<deleted>wouldiknow

Edited November 29, 20169 yr by metisdead
Profanity edited out of post.

Jesus saves, but Moses invests.