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Please Think Twice Before Bringing That Thai Girl Out Of Her Own Country


paulsmithson

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the latter. too many holes in the story. The kids of all the immigrants I know are bilingual if their parents - even one of them - doesn't speak English. how fdid the Mom talk to her son? Her son was six years in Thailand? come on!

Either a troll or a candidate for Mr. Gullible ...

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This thread and similar ones remind me of a 'game; that some of us played in Saudi many years ago. We were sick of the oldies (Yes, I was young once) telling us far-fetched stories so every so often, we made up one of these 'It happened to me' yarns and spread it around and see how long it took to come back to us and how embellished it was.

This thread reminds me of low-life volunteer fire fighters who illegally start bush fires so that they can be involved assisting others to extinguish them and thus get some type of 'hero' recognition.

The OP now states this: "God ony knows what her former husband suffered."

The OP was calling the husband " a bastard" in earlier posts.

Is the OP a Mills and Boon writer? :o

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final update.

This is not and never was a troll----regardless of any previous posts of mine which may have been blase to say the least.

A exists and her son. he was brought up for the last 20 years in the Uk and his command of Thai is piss poor.

A has been less than honest with us.

Today we visited her former home to retrieve her paperwork to try and make sense of what has gone on as the answers we were getting from her did not stack up.

A quick scrutiny of a mass of paperwork reveals.

Unpaid business rates amounting to over £4,000

Undpaid council tax

unpaid rent and an eviction order

unpaid fines due to her son failing to attend school and copies of written warnings prior to this.

Letters showing that she was in receipt of government benefits of over £100 per week + her rent and council tax paid until her son was 16

letters telling her that rent payments and council tax payments made on her behalf would cease when her son became 16.

Letters from government agencies telling her that as she has missed 4 appointments to interview her, her beneifits would cease.

Today my wife and I asked her about the social workers claims that she had prostituted herself whilst in the care of social srvices.At first she lied and denied that she had done so. My wife then told her that we would take the social worker to court for saying such bad things about her, but we would be in huge troube if the social worker had told the truth

A's answer was that she had sold her body at that time-she laughed about it obviousy embarrased.

We asked if she woud prostitute herself in the future ---her answer was maybe.

She is either very sick mentally or very immoral as she sees no wrong in what she has done.

We could now work very hard on her behalf-ascertain her total debts and apply for a bankrupcy order for her. get her back into the benefits system again and give her a new start in life.

Is she worthy of this??? I do not know.Not if her answer the questiont "will you work as a prostitute again" is maybe.

If she showed some commitment to helping herself we would help her but evidence of this is not to be seen.

Have the experiences she has had here affected her mind or is she just bad to the core.

I do not know. We are loathe to abandon her even though we do think she is totally a wrong un.

What if we are wrong???

As this post started I do not lay blame on anyone, God ony knows what her former husband suffered. All that we see now is a mother and son whose lives are not as they shoud be!

I revert to my original post with the comment--THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU BRING THE WOMAN YOU LOVE OUT OF THAILAND. WHEN IT GOES WRONG REGARDLESS OF FAULT IT IS A BLOODY MESS!

i life in a supposidly civilized country ( aussie) and theres people living on the streets .

ive been all through the U.S.A. and the amount of people living on the streets is mind boggling :D and unless you've seen it, its hard to imagine it.

anyway,

my point being that most of the people on the street in AUSSIE ARE THERE BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE,OR ARE NOT PREPARED TO HELP THEMSELVES.

how can we help people that wont help themselves? we are wasting our time.

do you think this lady is not prepared to help her self as your last posts suggests to me that you are totally wasting your time with her. :D

i feel its all getting a bit silly. :o

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Well guys, all I can say is that I have enjoyed the ride. Its been fun.

A might be a less than honest housewife-cum-hooker (please, no pun), Paul might be a confused novelist wanna-be helpful soul, the husband might be a long suffering bad/good bastard, and the son, an honourable non-communicating teenager going on 26, while the social worker is a lying truth teller in the middle of it all but that's what makes a good story.

Look forward to the next episode...

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We met A two weeks ago - so her story MUST all be true :D:D:D

"I am shocked, horrified and totally disgusted by the way she has been treated by her now ex farang husband" - I am getting a bit confused here!, but my reading is that they seperated 5 years ago? if so then her inability to get her sh#t together is really nothing to do with Mr Farang.

IF this is a true story (and I doubt it), then IMO A is doing exactly what she has always done. Living off people by telling then what they want to hear / what she thinks would be useful to tell them fpr her short trem benefit. Just bad luck for her that she is not very good at doing anything more. Time for her to grow up.

Whatever her situation is in the UK, it IS however far far better than what awaits her back in Thailand (not great options in Thailand for prostitutes who are s/h goods well past their sell by date, with a couple of s/h kids - especially if they are none to bright / lazy) At least in the UK she does have opportunity to do something with her life - if she will get off her ar#e, rather than wait for another coconut to fall off the tree :o

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It's a shame that the OP has confused the issue with his inconsistency of detail because there is no doubt many cases of thai wives being mis-treated by their husbands in the Uk just as there are many cases of english wives being mistreated and visa versa and this thread doesn't do any favours for a serious subject.

I suspect the vast majority of thais landing in the Uk have no idea of the massive life change they are about to encounter nor do they give any thought to their legal rights when in the UK.

Perhaps OP could continue his fine work and produce an idiots guide to settling in the UK (making sure he gets it proof read prior to printing)

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Im surprised that her Thai friends did'nt help her out more?When I brought my wife to New Zealand she got to know many Thai's liveing here and Im sure if it got real bad they would help her out more then what happened in the story.I know if any of my wife's friends needed help I would not hesitate to lend my support,especially if I could see any abuse.

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Having been happily married in the UK to the most marvellous Thai woman I have seen many Thai /English marriages go sadly wrong with extreme suffering for the Thai girl who has married a bad farang. In most cases we have been able to help, however our latest tale of woe exemplifies the worst of alL such situations.

Let us call this poor girl A to protect her a little ok.

We met A two weeks ago when the thai wife of another guy asked us if we could take her to the bus station to pick up an old friend who was now homeless. we did and I then met A and her 16 year old son B.They had nowhere to sleep that night and the Thai lady had been asked to give them a bed for the night, which she did.

Over the last two weeks I have come to learn A's story and I am shocked, horrified and totally disgusted by the way she has been treated by her now ex farang husband, the system here in the Uk and her fellow Thais.

A used to live in Buriram and her Thai husband gave her the usual two children then decided he was bored with her so he kicked her out. With no other means of support and a sister who had worked Pattaya and married a farang( not English) she sought and found work in the bar scene in Pattaya. There she met an Englishman who married her and took her and her 6 year son to England.

A spoke little English and together with the cultural differences the farang soon fell in love with another English girl, he eventually told his Thai wife to leave the home and take her son with her ( after 5 years)

.A asked her husband to pay her air fare home to Thailand but he refused telling her that she was a big girl now!

A did not know about divorce and getting half of the famiy home-she left with the trivial sum of a few thousand pounds she had managed to save from her work as a waitress in a local restaurant. She acquired a very cheap shop and lived over the shop and started her own restaurant with financial help from her sister who had a succesful farang marriage in europe.

A still loved her farang husband and trusted him where money was concerned. He used to visit her restaurant and borrow money and robbed her blind. The business failed.

A was in a mess, she now had a 10 year old son to support and no job, barely spoke the local language and had no home.

The local governement benefits agency did help but the benefits system is convoluted and she did not understand most of what the people there told her. the result of this was that A ended up living off a total income of £40 per week for everything----she could and should have got more but did not understand the systems here.

Still her ex husband refused to help her ( the bastard) and she sank deeper and deeper into debt borrowing from Thai friends, eating so little for herself in order to feed her son.

Winter came and she had no gas nor electric on in her flat due to unpaid bills. She had to resort to llighting a fire in pan to keep them warm.

Ultimately the expected happened and the flat caught fire and she was evicted. With no good command of English and three years of hel_l behind her she was ony able to tramp the streets daily with her son and knock on the doors of her Thai friends asking for a bed for the night. This obviously was not wanted by the Farang husbands of her Thai friends and she rarely stayed in the same place for more than a couple of nights.

Many nights she found nowhere to stay and slept on the streets at the mercy of all the low lifes who saw her there. Twice her 16 year old son was badly beaten and even knifed whilst trying to defend his mother from the unwanted attentions of scum.

Eventually they were taken into police custody and the boy taken into care and A left to fend for herself.

My own heart weeps when I hear her story. She has been living with myself and my wife for the last week now and her mental state is horrendous. She is nice person regardless of her origins and is totally stressed to the limit now. We shall do everything we can to make her life normal but it will take time.

She herself would like to return to Buriram but after 10 years here in the Uk her son is no longer Thai- He has english friends his own age and would not adapt to life in Thailand. A does not understand that there is help availabe for her-there is no social security in Thailand.

All that we can do is try our very best to give this precious person a chance to recover her strength and her mental faculties and hope that she can make a life for herself.

She is not the first we have come across in her situation and I doubt that she will be the last.

So please guys,when you meet and fall in love with that very sexy Thai girl and marry her and take her half way around the world to be your sex toy, remember that she too is a human being.

You cannot discard her like a used condom when you become bored because you find that you have little in common beyond the bedroom.

IF YOU MUST BRING THE GIRL OUT OF HER COUNTRY THEN PLEASE BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER AND SEND HER BACK HOME WITH AT LEAST ENOUGH TO START A NEW LIFE.

SHE IS HUMAN TOO!!!!!

If this jerk has a house that they bought together then the time hes been liveing in it without her he should have to pay her interest on it plus half the house cost at the time of the split up that the house was worth.if the interest and total cost of the house is more than the value of the house then he should be tossed out on the street and she should be the rightful new owner on the house.(Not saying english law is this way but it is in usa).And i hope this scumbag pays dearly for this poor lady.I have a thai wife and son myself.We don`t always get allong and yes there are cultural differences but i love her and can work out any problems we will face.both me and my brother have thai wifes.Good luck to this woman and god bless you for helping her.

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Why did she split from her farang husband? Was she selling herself to others before, as she has admitted to doing since? If so, what did she expect?

Being unable to communicate with her son is absolute garbage. Her poor English presented a perfect opportunity for him to retain his Thai-language skills as that is the only language they had in common.

And why why why did she not return to Thailand when her husband threw her out. I would think it would be the obvious thing to do, to return to the support of the Thai family system when she most needed it. She had money for the flight for her and her son. :o

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Very sad and all too common story.

PM me with more details, my Brother is a human rights lawyer.

Than your brother must have a lot of work with all those farangs kicked out of their own home and robbed from their dignity. There are alwayss sad stories, unfortunately it works both ways.

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"Attention seeker" comes to mind.

hmmm, it does not really matter, if the story is all true, or how many holes are in it ... the fact is that whatsoever a farang men can find "exciting, cute, comforting, entertaining, etc.," on their "Thai sweethearts" may turn to be pretty annoying (almost un-tolerable) whilst "brought back home" ...

starting with a little things - ending up with more serious issues ... it's hard to understand unless you REALLY understood (not only "knowing") about their (so different - in general) mentality, culture, customs, manners, etc., ... never you can change "their way of thinking", i.e. living, dealing with "issues" and events, their willingness and capabilities to adapt ... they will never cease to surprise you, shock you, driving you nuts with their "switch of moods" and their such a "simplicity" (let's say) which you will never - ever understand (you can either tolerate it - means do not pay attention - or just drop it/give up on them, completely) ... and you won't be able to "tolerate" it, if you haven't lived WITH them (THEIR WAY) for a long, long years ...

once again - one can find it "funny" and "live with it", one can find it really tough and going all mad ... or leave quickly ...

you will never got them to think about a things by our so far more "educated, sophisticated, civilized, responsible" way ...

taking all the passed and future issues /events onto the account, considering all possible (or at least some main) consequences and circumstances of any decision or action taken ... you indeed realized that for Thai girls a "husband" (a single person) doesn't mean a "family", nor their child ...

they won't be happy and truly "themselves" with "one husband and child"

being cut off from all that bunch of neighbors, friends or even a "same sort of people" on the street, market, offices ... necessarily needed for to have that so silly, yet so IMPORTANT chat about nothing so very often ...

those who does speak and understand Thai, they will agree with me that 99% of all Thai common conversation is a complete BUT complete nonsense, extremely boring and useless stuff what a "faring" hardly can get himself engaged in to it for any longer while (not for a life!!!) if not being extremely "patient & polite" ... they talk for an hours, days and centuries about bloody nothing ...

if they want to (willing to) talk about "something", then it would take even longer (without any sensible result anyway ... or at least not at a "first attempt" ... as they'll be getting so "tired" of it so soon, bored, un-attentive, un-willing to listen any more and starting to talk about something else, less "complicated", like if you have eaten already, or where are you going, how much you paid for your car, house, shirt, etc., ..) ...

most of the time they simply don't understand each other (both of them speaking Thai) and it will take them another hours to make themselves clear to one another - but by then - once again - both of them will be already sick&tired of that "simple problem" to go on with it ...

next time they have forgot what was that all about, so they start up all again from the very beginning - with the very same result at the end ... anyway ... you must be always aware that you are dealing with almost not educated people with very simple and lazy mind (even those "well educated" are still not "sparred" yet of their "simple and lazy, but demanding mind") ...

after years i could recall my grandfather's once question to me: "do you thing it's easier to pursue and idiot, or and intelligent one?" ... well, i thought it will be easier job with an idiot - as i considered myself to be "intelligent" so to "outsmart" the idiot ... WRONG ... you can't argue with an idiot - he would never got your point, never understands you - he will always beat you up with his idotic's statements/answers/questions to the point you just gave up on him ...

unless, you may be VERY smart and intelligent, that you would be actually able to "lower" yourself on to his idiotic level to cope with whatsoever you trying to work out with him his way to pull him on to your direction ... takes some effort, huh? ... but you want it - you simply have to do it (or forget it) -

do not blame an idiot that he is not any smarter or better - in your means ... all Thai people are just a "big kids" to us ... you think you are getting a wife - a partner, a soulmate, etc., ?! ... noh, you are a getting a "child" you must know how to take care of ...

you are getting funny, sexy and cute company, but it will be always you to take care of paperwork, rules, laws, planes, etc., ... always keep your eyes wide open and watch out, as they will forgot to do things which are important in your eyes, they won't never do the whole full task, they will never understand that some things simply can't be missed or missing, etc., ...

let's take it this way ... many people likes a dogs, cats, horses and would like to have some ... yet not every and each "animal lover" would "afford" to have one ... takes some learning, not only a desire ... takes some serious responsibility, not only a pleasure ... you know nothing about a dog or horse and got one home ... you must then learn quickly - you need to "know", understand, respect, tolerate, love but also "train and lead" (you must be tough - yet loving and always "providing") your animal, otherwise it will soon turn to be a very bad spoiled bastard or very unhappy and suffering being ... obviously - you too ...

so, better to think twice ... simply ... you can be happy and willing to come to the wide nature to live with those animals you will find there - but you shall not "interfere" or pull them back with you ... they won't appreciate that - nor you would ... takes too much love, care, patience, time, devotion, mutual respect and "general intellect", even some experiences to dare to relocate one being from his own environment to a completely stranger ones ... they'll be always behaving/acting kinda inadequate if "let alone" on their own, without any DAILY care, guidance, leading, etc., ...

it's not their fault and nothing they can do with it ... they are not really used to "think", decide and act alone...(and once again - a "two" or even "three" is still to be "alone" in fact) ... hahaha, just wanted to share some thoughts and made an "essay" ... sorry for too many words....smile/wink ...

I have tried to edit this into understandable paragraphs.. but is the poster calling Thai people animals..?

Anyway.. given the benefit of the doubt (as I doubt this poster is a native English speaker) the post stays.

totster

Edited by Totster
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Just wondering if there is any way via TV we could raise the Airfare to bring Khun A home to Thailand ???

She already had the money to fly back to Thailand, she chose instead to stay in the UK and open a business. It's not as if she had no options is it. She could have easily flown back to Thailand and got a job.

.A asked her husband to pay her air fare home to Thailand but he refused telling her that she was a big girl now!

A did not know about divorce and getting half of the famiy home-she left with the trivial sum of a few thousand pounds she had managed to save from her work as a waitress in a local restaurant. She acquired a very cheap shop and lived over the shop and started her own restaurant with financial help from her sister who had a succesful farang marriage in europe.

Exactly what I was thinking...

And we only get one side of the story... told by a Thai...

Sorry!

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RWA, I don't think I have ever read such generalised, racist and puerile drivel.

Generalised? yes. Racist and puerile? definately not.

To call it racist is to kill the debate, there are differences in cultures and to have a negative view of another culture is not racist as such. The intentions of a Thai/foreign relationship can be easily misunderstood, and it has caused a lot of people a lot of problems.

Puerile means childish or simplistic, there is nothing simplistic about what RWA is trying to get across.

I do agree that paragraphs would help, but he is not a native speaker.

However RWA does sound like he is speaking from experience and a lot of what he says rings true.

After such blatent trolling from the OP it's good to get an honest opinion, even if you don't agree with it.

Edited by Robski
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RWA, I don't think I have ever read such generalised, racist and puerile drivel.

Generalised? yes. Racist and puerile? definately not.

To call it racist is to kill the debate, there are differences in cultures and to have a negative view of another culture is not racist as such. The intentions of a Thai/foreign relationship can be easily misunderstood, and it has caused a lot of people a lot of problems.

Puerile means childish or simplistic, there is nothing simplistic about what RWA is trying to get across.

I do agree that paragraphs would help, but he is not a native speaker.

However RWA does sound like he is speaking from experience and a lot of what he says rings true.

After such blatent trolling from the OP it's good to get an honest opinion, even if you don't agree with it.

I stand by my posting and my words were carefully chosen. "....they'll be always behaving/acting kinda inadequate if "let alone" on their own, without any DAILY care, guidance, leading, etc., ... it's not their fault and nothing they can do with it ... they are not really used to "think", decide and act alone...(and once again - a "two" or even "three" is still to be "alone" in fact)...", that quote is not about the culture but about the people. Another quote "...you think you are getting a wife - a partner, a soulmate, etc., ?! ... noh, you are a getting a "child" you must know how to take care of ... ", again not cultural but racist.

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RWA, I don't think I have ever read such generalised, racist and puerile drivel.

Generalised? yes. Racist and puerile? definately not.

To call it racist is to kill the debate, there are differences in cultures and to have a negative view of another culture is not racist as such. The intentions of a Thai/foreign relationship can be easily misunderstood, and it has caused a lot of people a lot of problems.

Puerile means childish or simplistic, there is nothing simplistic about what RWA is trying to get across.

I do agree that paragraphs would help, but he is not a native speaker.

However RWA does sound like he is speaking from experience and a lot of what he says rings true.

After such blatent trolling from the OP it's good to get an honest opinion, even if you don't agree with it.

I stand by my posting and my words were carefully chosen. "....they'll be always behaving/acting kinda inadequate if "let alone" on their own, without any DAILY care, guidance, leading, etc., ... it's not their fault and nothing they can do with it ... they are not really used to "think", decide and act alone...(and once again - a "two" or even "three" is still to be "alone" in fact)...", that quote is not about the culture but about the people. Another quote "...you think you are getting a wife - a partner, a soulmate, etc., ?! ... noh, you are a getting a "child" you must know how to take care of ... ", again not cultural but racist.

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"Attention seeker" comes to mind.

hmmm, it does not really matter, if the story is all true, or how many holes are in it ... the fact is that whatsoever a farang men can find "exciting, cute, comforting, entertaining, etc.," on their "Thai sweethearts" may turn to be pretty annoying (almost un-tolerable) whilst "brought back home" ... starting with a little things - ending up with more serious issues ... it's hard to understand unless you REALLY understood (not only "knowing") about their (so different - in general) mentality, culture, customs, manners, etc., ... never you can change "their way of thinking", i.e. living, dealing with "issues" and events, their willingness and capabilities to adapt ... they will never cease to surprise you, shock you, driving you nuts with their "switch of moods" and their such a "simplicity" (let's say) which you will never - ever understand (you can either tolerate it - means do not pay attention - or just drop it/give up on them, completely) ... and you won't be able to "tolerate" it, if you haven't lived WITH them (THEIR WAY) for a long, long years ... once again - one can find it "funny" and "live with it", one can find it really tough and going all mad ... or leave quickly ... you will never got them to think about a things by our so far more "educated, sophisticated, civilized, responsible" way ... taking all the passed and future issues /events onto the account, considering all possible (or at least some main) consequences and circumstances of any decision or action taken ... you indeed realized that for Thai girls a "husband" (a single person) doesn't mean a "family", nor their child ... they won't be happy and truly "themselves" with "one husband and child" - being cut off from all that bunch of neighbors, friends or even a "same sort of people" on the street, market, offices ... necessarily needed for to have that so silly, yet so IMPORTANT chat about nothing so very often ... (those who does speak and understand Thai, they will agree with me that 99% of all Thai common conversation is a complete BUT complete nonsense, extremely boring and useless stuff what a "faring" hardly can get himself engaged in to it for any longer while (not for a life!!!) if not being extremely "patient & polite" ... they talk for an hours, days and centuries about bloody nothing ... if they want to (willing to) talk about "something", then it would take even longer (without any sensible result anyway ... or at least not at a "first attempt" ... as they'll be getting so "tired" of it so soon, bored, un-attentive, un-willing to listen any more and starting to talk about something else - less "complicated", like if you have eaten already, or where are you going, how much you paid for your car, house, shirt, etc., ..) ... most of the time they simply don't understand each other (both of them speaking Thai) and it will take them another hours to make themselves clear to one another - but by then - once again - both of them will be already sick&tired of that "simple problem" to go on with it ... next time they have forgot what was that all about, so they start up all again from the very beginning - with the very same result at the end ... anyway ... you must be always aware that you are dealing with almost not educated people with very simple and lazy mind (even those "well educated" are still not "sparred" yet of their "simple and lazy, but demanding mind") ... after years i could recall my grandfather's once question to me: "do you thing it's easier to pursue and idiot, or and intelligent one?" ... well, i thought it will be easier job with an idiot - as i considered myself to be "intelligent" so to "outsmart" the idiot ... WRONG ... you can't argue with an idiot - he would never got your point, never understands you - he will always beat you up with his idotic's statements/answers/questions to the point you just gave up on him ... unless, you may be VERY smart and intelligent, that you would be actually able to "lower" yourself on to his idiotic level to cope with whatsoever you trying to work out with him his way to pull him on to your direction ... takes some effort, huh? ... but you want it - you simply have to do it (or forget it) - do not blame an idiot that he is not any smarter or better - in your means ... all Thai people are just a "big kids" to us ... you think you are getting a wife - a partner, a soulmate, etc., ?! ... noh, you are a getting a "child" you must know how to take care of ... you are getting funny, sexy and cute company, but it will be always you to take care of paperwork, rules, laws, planes, etc., ... always keep your eyes wide open and watch out, as they will forgot to do things which are important in your eyes, they won't never do the whole full task, they will never understand that some things simply can't be missed or missing, etc., ... let's take it this way ... many people likes a dogs, cats, horses and would like to have some ... yet not every and each "animal lover" would "afford" to have one ... takes some learning, not only a desire ... takes some serious responsibility, not only a pleasure ... you know nothing about a dog or horse and got one home ... you must then learn quickly - you need to "know", understand, respect, tolerate, love but also "train and lead" (you must be tough - yet loving and always "providing") your animal, otherwise it will soon turn to be a very bad spoiled bastard or very unhappy and suffering being ... obviously - you too ... so, better to think twice ... simply ... you can be happy and willing to come to the wide nature to live with those animals you will find there - but you shall not "interfere" or pull them back with you ... they won't appreciate that - nor you would ... takes too much love, care, patience, time, devotion, mutual respect and "general intellect", even some experiences to dare to relocate one being from his own environment to a completely stranger ones ... they'll be always behaving/acting kinda inadequate if "let alone" on their own, without any DAILY care, guidance, leading, etc., ... it's not their fault and nothing they can do with it ... they are not really used to "think", decide and act alone...(and once again - a "two" or even "three" is still to be "alone" in fact) ... hahaha, just wanted to share some thoughts and made an "essay" ... sorry for too many words....smile/wink ...

You have just described every female on the planet.

If you think these quirks are limited only to Thai women it just shows how little you know of the real world.

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i think RWA had some good points that most people living in thailand with a thai partner can relate to to some extent. however none of it applies across the board. like boo says there are many educated thais that find it easy to adapt to a life overseas, for one thing.

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i think RWA had some good points that most people living in thailand with a thai partner can relate to to some extent. however none of it applies across the board. like boo says there are many educated thais that find it easy to adapt to a life overseas, for one thing.

I'm guessing many uneducated ones as well.

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