Is wanting to find a girlfriend/wife reason enough to move to Thailand?

[mcfish]

I always laugh when I see the sucker guy buying roses for them because he thinks they will impress the girl, but no Thai woman I ever met has a gene for romance.
 
I feel sorry for you that you have apparently never slept with a BG that is attractive enough that you'd like to do it again with her after you wake up in the morning.

There you go again bragging about your hookers. You have serious self esteem issues.
I say it again slowly .. It takes zero talent to pull a pretty hooker. Stop falling for the your to handsome trick lol

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[joeyg]

One more time... 

1 hour ago, sanemax said:

 

   Isnt it the German guys turn now ?

When is the Italian guy due over and when will it be your turn next ?

My parting thought.  Who was banging Marylin Monroe before she got to JFK's bed and who was banging her later?

Was JFK a loser was Marylin a slut?

 

I'm thinking that this must some kind of prank.  If it is you guys "got me."

 

If it's not it's pretty pathetic. And very weird...   

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, mcfish said:

There you go again bragging about your hookers. You have serious self esteem issues.
I say it again slowly .. It takes zero talent to pull a pretty hooker. Stop falling for the your to handsome trick lol

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Oh dear, I was not bragging. I never went with attractive ones as they thought too much of themselves. However, even the less attractive ones are happy to do it in the morning.

[AlexRich]

5 minutes ago, joeyg said:

I've always preferred a monogamous relationship.  Really haven't had luck in that department despite my best efforts.  At 64 now and thank God still good and healthy.  I pretty much stopped thinking about a long term relationship.  Although my buddies Thai wives are relentless at match making.

 

Right now I my memory serves me I was reading in an infectious disease journal that 86% of the population tests positive for HSV-1 or HSV-2.

 

The projection is aprx 100% will test positive in 5 years.  And emember thats just tose who have been tested.

 

I think in Thailand it's best to be have a girlfriend, but never go down the marriage route. The problem that the foreigner had was that he was out of Thailand working for months on end, and his "friend" stepped in to fill the gap.

 

If you can find an ordinary (non-BG) Thai lady with a job and responsibilities then you might have a chance at a decent relationship that is monogamous ... but anyone fishing in the 'pay for play' pool is playing with fire in my view.

 

 

[wildewillie89]

2 minutes ago, mcfish said:

There you go again bragging about your hookers. You have serious self esteem issues.
I say it again slowly .. It takes zero talent to pull a pretty hooker. Stop falling for the your to handsome trick lol

Sent from my SC-01D using Tapatalk
 

 

You see it a lot. I had a work colleague who traveled to the Philippines a few times a year. He spent his times in bars and naturally got the 'youre so handsome' bla bla, which every guy on the planet would get. When back home, he actually thought the Asians there would do the same. He hated Chinese back home as they were always rich so told him to piss off. The rest did it in a much more polite way. I think this is the supposed 'western PC BS' he speaks of. Thinking he is Gods gift to the women who have little choices in life. And he gets annoyed when this doesnt extend to Western girls or the Asians living in western countries as they have more of a choice than him

[thaibeachlovers]

10 minutes ago, wildewillie89 said:

 

Umm, what kind of people are you hanging out with? Normal man/female 'western' relationships based on mutual respect are just that, 'normal'. I think the fact you think the female genitals are some 'gates to paradise' kind of suggests why women don't let you in, you have a smell of desperation it seems. Just look at basic politics, why is it that women are never elected? Look at business or professional work, why is it men are paid more? So this 'perfect, right, dominant' concept is just not evident. I think this sense of 'western PC BS' only occurs in your mind, not society.

 

As for leaving the guy for something better, didn't a 'Durex' survey of different countries in the world find out that Thai women cheat more than anyone else, usually in the hope of finding something 'better'. 

If a guy wrongs in a relationship in Thai the woman can take 100%, where as in the 'west' committing something morally wrong isnt a factor in financial terms. The two things you chose are actually worse here in Asia lol. So please, tell me again, what exactly is this 'western PC BS' you speak of?

555555555555555555555555

I was saying that western WOMEN think they own the gates to paradise. Either you can't understand my post, or you choose not to, so I'm not going to try again. Good luck.

[mcfish]

Condoms prevent genital herpes too. If he was not using one he was indeed foolish. 
The pill is not guaranteed to prevent pregnancy, and the only way to be sure is to always use a condom. Unless one actually wants children.

TBL we have had a few boxing matches on the boards, no big deal but please come out and say you and your partner are swingers . It would all make much more sense

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[wildewillie89]

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

555555555555555555555555

I was saying that western WOMEN think they own the gates to paradise. Either you can't understand my post, or you choose not to, so I'm not going to try again. Good luck.

 

If the gates to paradise are their genitals then they do own them...are you saying that you do not own your penis?

[wildewillie89]

2 minutes ago, wildewillie89 said:

 

If the gates to paradise are their genitals then they do own them...are you saying that you do not own your penis?

 

If your reference is that they value their genitals higher than other regions in the world, then i guess that comes from personal experience. If i was a woman and encountered you i would probably have my genitals under lock and key also....as most Thai would also, other than what you always talk about (the paid sex at Nana). Now, if this 'western PC BS' was your true belief then why are you paying for 'Asian' girls and not getting them for free??? As they supposedly don't have this 'gate of paradise' thinking according to you.

[JackThompson]

22 hours ago, Denim said:

If you want a wife you might do better in the Philippines. Nothing wrong with Thais but unless you speak Thai well the language issue can become an obstacle when dealing with your future wifes relatives who might not understand your own culture well enough to be respectful of your needs.

 

If you are practicing-Catholic and want your children raised as such, and/or if you want to find a gal to bring back to the USA with you, then the Philippines is a good choice.   That is based on my time there, where all gals I met saw me as a ticket to "the promised land" USA - which was the inverse of my perspective.  But be aware, after a year or two in the USA, she will likely not be the woman you met and married.

[thaibeachlovers]

2 minutes ago, wildewillie89 said:

 

3 minutes ago, mcfish said:

TBL we have had a few boxing matches on the boards, no big deal but please come out and say you and your partner are swingers . It would all make much more sense

Sent from my SC-01D using Tapatalk
 

I wasn't replying to wildewillie, but somehow his quote got on here and I can't delete it.

 

I never trust anyone to not have it off with someone other than their partner, given the chance, and that extended to the beloved when I was away. I didn't stay with her because I thought she was faithful, I stayed with her because I liked her. Personally, I never played away, but that was because I was satisfied with what was at home and never felt the desire to do so. Had she  become frigid, I probably would have.

[mcfish]

 

If you are practicing-Catholic and want your children raised as such, and/or if you want to find a gal to bring back to the USA with you, then the Philippines is a good choice.   That is based on my time there, where all gals I met saw me as a ticket to "the promised land" USA - which was the inverse of my perspective.  But be aware, after a year or two in the USA, she will likely not be the woman you met and married.

Good post. Becoming Americanised is the down fall of many marriages and a good reason to stay in Asia if possible. Once they start making Western girlfriends then the traditional Asian female quality can fly out the door

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[thaibeachlovers]

3 hours ago, wildewillie89 said:

All the negativity about Thailand. I mean come on. There are different 'classes' of people no matter what country you live in. They guy is young, not 60 years old. Numerous rich or employed women will go for him....he doesn't need to go for some poor stricken girl and help out her family (seems to be the consensus on the forum). A girl with a good job or incredibly rich Thai is extremely easy to find here. The new generation (his age bracket) are not all about money. They will happily fight their older family members on things like Sin Sord or the farang paying for things etc. I wonder why all these people bitch so much about being 'walking ATM' machines but still live here. The OP is young, not a grandpa looking for an immoral girl, as that's not the only person who will take him. 

 

Find a girl, know her for an extended period of time to learn each other. If you have a generalisation of Thai people then just tell her you have no money. The very first thing i did with my in laws was tell them i had no money. What did they do? They gave us land to build on with my wife's homeloan. I knew maybe 100 or so Thai back in my country, and know a lot here obviously too. The majority of families are like this I have found. The families who have some sort of education or employment. People cant moan and complain if they go to a bar to find a wife. Thai has a poverty class, a middle class and the all famous high society. All classes easy to hang out with, but from experience the middle class families are easier to relate too (as I am not high society lol). 

Erm. The rellies did NOT "give" YOU land. They still own it ( or your wife owns it ) because you can't. They knew that if it didn't work out for their daughter you would leave and they would keep the house.

Good for you if it has worked out, but let's keep factual please.

 

BTW, I didn't have a problem with the sin sod. I gave it to the MIL for her "face" and got it back again later.

[Gary A]

1 hour ago, mcfish said:

I have nothing against paying for sex it's a good hobby but I can't get them out of the room fast enough when it's done. However it's often tinged with sadness when I see harry the hump walking down soi buhkow firmly clutch the hand of a hooker while she is firmly clutching a dozen red roses in the other

There are 2 thought processes going on at this point. One knows they have a new sponsor.. The other thinks she is the one
That my friend is not a gf experience. Or maybe you never had a real girlfriend?

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I find this rather amusing. How much luck would Harry the hump have finding a willing flavor of the day that looks like her in his home country? This is the kind of experience that builds lasting dreams. Harry is likely a lot smarter than you think. He really doesn't remember the girl friend experience but he fondly remembers what she looks like laying naked on the white bed sheets with her shiny long black hair spread across the pillow.

 

I'm sure that Harry could not possibly care less what you think.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, Gary A said:

 

I find this rather amusing. How much luck would Harry the hump have finding a willing flavor of the day that looks like her in his home country? This is the kind of experience that builds lasting dreams. Harry is likely a lot smarter than you think. He really doesn't remember the girl friend experience but he fondly remembers what she looks like laying naked on the white bed sheets with her shiny long black hair spread across the pillow.

 

I'm sure that Harry could not possibly care less what you think.

Very true. As my memory fades away I don't remember what I "did" with my Thai GF 20 years ago, but as long as I can remember her face I can still visualise her in the way you describe. One thing I especially like about pretty Thai girls is that lovely pale coffee colour skin they have. Gorgeous.

[mcfish]

 
I find this rather amusing. How much luck would Harry the hump have finding a willing flavor of the day that looks like her in his home country? This is the kind of experience that builds lasting dreams. Harry is likely a lot smarter than you think. He really doesn't remember the girl friend experience but he fondly remembers what she looks like laying naked on the white bed sheets with her shiny long black hair spread across the pillow.
 
I'm sure that Harry could not possibly care less what you think.

That's the point, no lucky required. The gf experience is designed to get harry balls deep into a long term money extraction fiasco and that will be a gf experience that harry the hump will never forget!
But of course you were to smart for that it's just the harries that are stupid! Lol

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[JackThompson]

15 hours ago, Autonuaq said:

The woman you know where yiu are now. The same kind of woman you will see and meet in othee places too.

Package different, aditude and view the same.

 

I could not disagree more.  Attitude is 180 degrees different than in the West. 

 

12 hours ago, hawker9000 said:

You would actually consider moving  to Thailand just to find an Asian girlfriend??   From California, where there must be nearly as many Asian girls around as anywhere else in the world outside of Asia??? 

 

19 hours ago, melvinmelvin said:

and also plenty Chinese and Vietnamese and Japanese, California is loaded with asian women.

 

As others have pointed out, they are physically "Asian" but Western on the inside, and think like American women.  No thanks.  After my experiences here, I'll never try that again.

 

I only wish I had come here when I was younger - thinking about all those wasted years in the USA.

[Gary A]

There are just a small minority of guys that stupid. Standing side by side in front of a mirror should easily tell the guy the true story. It is often worth the small investment from a wealthy guy to send the girl a little money once in awhile to meet him at the airport on one of his trips.

 

ADDED - What good is money if you cannot enjoy it?

Edited December 24, 2016 by Gary A

[Gary A]

14 minutes ago, JackThompson said:

 

I could not disagree more.  Attitude is 180 degrees different than in the West. 

 

 

 

As others have pointed out, they are physically "Asian" but Western on the inside, and think like American women.  No thanks.  After my experiences here, I'll never try that again.

 

I only wish I had come here when I was younger - thinking about all those wasted years in the USA.

 

I lived and worked in Kalifornia for five LONG years. I met some of those Americanized Asian girls. That's another reason I am here.

[JackThompson]

Let me give you a very different perspective than many here express:

 

I never intended to stay more than a week or two in Thailand, given the visa restrictions.  I met a gal, unexpectedly, who was fascinated with the English language (since her grade-school days), so could read and write English when we met (with no university eduation - which probably would not have helped, anyway).  Discussions about English were the starting-point of our relationship.

 

As things progressed, I thought what I was experiencing could not be "real" - given my experiences with American women - no gal could possibly be this kind to a man.  But I resisted the temptation to chalk it up to an act, and stayed "just in case" to see how things played out.  For her, it was love at first sight, primarily because I spoke to her respectfully. 

 

Several years later, I can say that my Thai partner is in every way superior to any gal I ever knew/dated/lived-with in the USA.  She doesn't want me to become a feminized-man, and she doesn't want to be a masulinized-woman.  This is not the same as saying she doesn't have her own mind - we just do not have competing / conflicting roles, as have been created in the gender-blurred ("pretend we aren't really biologically totally different") West, .

 

One danger you will face, is in superimposing a "Western-imposed mindset" frame on the relationship - your GF will want to do something nice for you, and you will think it is "demeaning" to her.  It isn't.  Saying "no" in this context takes away something that makes your GF very happy and satisfied.  She wants to support you in every way she can.  Show your appreciation in kind-words and fun outings, but don't be resistant if she wants to pamper you.  

 

The trade-off is that you are expected to "be the man" and forge a financial path into the future for both of you.  You don't have to "be rich" - but no gal wants to stay on a sinking ship (in any country).  She is unlikely to be very helpful in planning for her retirement, because her children have that duty to her.  Be prepared to explain that in your culture, you MUST save money for your own retirement - which will be an alien concept to her.

 

Every woman in this part of the world is obligated to support her family.  Make sure your potential GF has a job, and is willing to handle family-support from her income.  Living with you may free up more of her income for them, but don't let it go beyond this.  Bending and giving "loans" will result in greater expectations and tensions long-term, which can doom the relationship.  

 

It is easy to confuse family-support and you being the financial center of your lives as "gold-digging" - it isn't - more like "old fashioned."  But in general, do not allow your living costs to exceed your income.   Increase your savings.  Do not blow your savings on "loans" or house-projects back in her province.  Establish a "fun" budget, in advance, and stick to it - when single or involved.  If your teaching income is 40K Baht/mo, then budget with that.  If not living in Bangkok, that's plenty - you can even afford health-insurance (very cheap at your age, and very important).

 

A smaller income can actually work to your advantage, weeding out any real "gold-digger" types (a mindset not unique to any nation, culture, or ethnicity).  If you GF does not respect your budget, she is not the right gal. 

 

In general with money, you read so many sad stories here.  Those stories happened because the guy set up his finances to create an incentive for the gal (more likely her family) to exploit him.  Not creating perverse incentives - where dumping you is profitable - is a Vital Key to any long-term relationship anywhere.  "Family Courts" in the USA create exactly these incentives for women, and the divorce-rate there shows this is a universal effect, not limited to Thai culture.

[sanemax]

12 minutes ago, Gary A said:

It is often worth the small investment from a wealthy guy to send the girl a little money once in awhile to meet him at the airport on one of his trips.

 

    Are you talking about 100 Baht for the tuk tuk to the airport ?

If you are talking about fully supporting her, you are talking about 20 000 Baht + per month

[lostinisaan]

2 hours ago, montemonte said:

I not looking to get married or to have sex. Is there anyplace to go just to talk to the locals?


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     Is that a rhetorical question? 

[jak2002003]

OP....

 

If all you care about in a relationship is sex with a sexy woman.. then Thailand is one of the best places to be.

 

If you want a long lasting loving relationship than Thailand is one of the worst places to be.

 

Many men (and some women) don't care about the emotional side to a relationship.... so long as they have a pretty girl who does what she is told he is happy to throw money at her in return for sex.  He does not care what she thinks about him or if she loves him or even cares for him in the slightest.  The ladies can be seen as disposable goods at various prices.  Thailand provides this kind of relationship.

 

Other men want more from a relationship.. like friendship, companionship, love, affection and mutual understanding and honesty. Someone to grow old with and develop a deep meaning relationship with.   This is a very difficult thing to find in Thailand.

 

Everyone is different... there is no right of wrong way to go.  But if someone is not happy in their love life then they should try something different and see if it makes them happier. 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

2 hours ago, montemonte said:

I not looking to get married or to have sex. Is there anyplace to go just to talk to the locals?


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

There are thousands of locals waiting to talk to you in Bkk, Pattaya, Chiang Mai and Phuket. You can find them sitting in small open sided structures and there will usually be a few young ladies looking at their phones or beckoning to their friend "hansum man" to join them and sit on high stools around the structure while they chat.

Just sit on one of the stools and purchase a beverage from one of the maidens to drink while you chat to them. If you like your maiden, you can buy her a drink too, or you can ask a different wench to sit with you. As time passes, you might like to play some games, like Connect 4. Then, once having had your fill of fluid, games and chat, feel free to pay the bill, include a tip if you like, and wend your way back to your residence alone.

[ev1lchris]

It's better for casual sex.

[JackThompson]

8 minutes ago, jak2002003 said:

 

 

8 minutes ago, jak2002003 said:

OP....

If all you care about in a relationship is sex with a sexy woman.. then Thailand is one of the best places to be.

 

If you want a long lasting loving relationship than Thailand is one of the worst places to be.

 

Many men (and some women) don't care about the emotional side to a relationship.... so long as they have a pretty girl who does what she is told he is happy to throw money at her in return for sex.  He does not care what she thinks about him or if she loves him or even cares for him in the slightest.  The ladies can be seen as disposable goods at various prices.  Thailand provides this kind of relationship.

 

Thailand is far from the worst - have you been to the West, lately?  And just because P4P is an available option (suitable for many who will never trust any woman again, thanks to their experience in the West), does not by any stretch make it the only option available here.

 

8 minutes ago, jak2002003 said:

 

Other men want more from a relationship.. like friendship, companionship, love, affection and mutual understanding and honesty. Someone to grow old with and develop a deep meaning relationship with.   This is a very difficult thing to find in Thailand.

 

As to, "friendship, companionship, love, affection and mutual understanding and honesty" - Decades in the West, and I never found it - not even close.  I found those here in one gal - the only Thai I ever dated - and wasn't even trying or expecting to find it.  

 

8 minutes ago, jak2002003 said:

Everyone is different... there is no right of wrong way to go.  But if someone is not happy in their love life then they should try something different and see if it makes them happier. 

 

Agreed on this point.

 

[sanemax]

And you may wonder what a dozen pretty girls are all doing hanging around a bar . They are all cashiers  , all twelve of them work as cashiers and they only started working there two days ago

[wildewillie89]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Erm. The rellies did NOT "give" YOU land. They still own it ( or your wife owns it ) because you can't. They knew that if it didn't work out for their daughter you would leave and they would keep the house.

Good for you if it has worked out, but let's keep factual please.

 

BTW, I didn't have a problem with the sin sod. I gave it to the MIL for her "face" and got it back again later.

 

The assumption being I paid for the house? Also the assumption being that there isn't any documents or payments going into my account for the value of anything i spent on the house (which was a sofa, tv and two sitting toilets - for me) in the case of an end to the relationship. You don't find 'good' girls in any country without crossing your t's and dotting your i's. Literally, all i have bought since moving to Thai was my Caucasian Shepherd (as I love dogs). Yes, lets keep it factual if you wouldn't mind. It is interesting that you think you know more about my own family than i do. In terms of the actual house, well as my wife is educated and boss of her government department at 29, the home loan monthly payments are currently 5,600 a month. The government gives her 3,000 of that so it is 2,600 a month. In 2 years I will apply for PR to make all the legalities a little easier. 

 

However, like i said, there are many 'good' girls in Thai. They recognise the life and potential salaries you give up to move here so will happily share half the house (they paid for) indeed if there is a termination to the relationship. She even pays for an insurance policy for me. This idea isn't unheard of, i remember the boss of our district departments wife once saying to her that if he moves here for you then you should even not expect him to work as he has given up so much. I don't take that style of thinking, so naturally i work. 

[Gary A]

28 minutes ago, sanemax said:

 

    Are you talking about 100 Baht for the tuk tuk to the airport ?

If you are talking about fully supporting her, you are talking about 20 000 Baht + per month

 

I'm sure that 100 baht for a tuk tuk would not impress her enough to meet you at the airport. Since most guys only make maybe two trips a year, why would he want to support her full time?

[Gary A]

8 minutes ago, sanemax said:

And you may wonder what a dozen pretty girls are all doing hanging around a bar . They are all cashiers  , all twelve of them work as cashiers and they only started working there two days ago

 

How do you know so much about the girls hanging around the bars?