Where Does My Wife Stand?

[Tony Montana]

Hi all

I've had the kids for some of the festive season which was good but still had to meet in Mcd carpark.I've been nice to everybody including him but my wife still makes threats & is alway's being confrontational.The good news is that any feelings I did have for her & now dead.

I'm now thinking that if my wife was sent back to Thailand & she took the kids with her. What would be my chance's I've taking her to court in Thailand & winning custody of the kids & taking them back to the UK with me to live?

Now would this be the person who had the most money who would win,which is often the case in Thailand or would the court take side's with the Thai mother?

Wait until she is back in Thailand without the lifestyle she grew accustomed to and then make a one time financial offer to gain full custody of the kids. Also explain how they would benefit with a better education etc. I would even go as far as offering her a monthly stipend to be cooperative in this matter. Do not (under any circumstances) go to see her in Thailand, just contact her and make the offer. Money talks ...........

Once in Thailand, her chances of returning to the U.K. are slim to none, although I am a Yank, but, from reading what the English guys go through to get their women home, I would think this to be the case.

Good Luck to you!!

For the rest of you reading this ...... my advise is that if not married make a preneptual and for those married do a separation contract, updated after each and every child. It might work...it might not, but, it will allow you to sleep tight.

mouse why do advise me not to go to Thailand is this because you think she will try to have me bumped off?

[Tony Montana]

Any of you guys who have been following this thread here is the latest.

My sister is a mental health nurse & was talking to a social worker about my case,well the social worker said 'why doesn't he just take the children' I thought this was illegal but its not.

I spoke to my solictor about this & will help me but would not reccomend it,well I've done it.I took the kids from the usual Mcd carpark for the weekend,I've told my wife I've got car trouble today & will bring the kids to her tomorrow 15.1.07 this gives me time to get my daughter into her old school & my solictor will put in a 'Residents Order' into court the same day.

I've arranged everything with the school etc,once this order is in place my wife will find it very difficult to overturn,she's got no security or income & the courts wont want the children disrupted anymore,plus it all costs money.

She now has a choice well 3 choice's,she can forget the kids,she can fight me in court & challange the order which will take time or she can move back down to this area & spend time with the kids.

I dont like doing this but she's always making threats & is now talking about taking the children back to Thailand,I'm not breaking the law & the police cant touch me 'solictors words' I'm no threat to the children,I have equal parental rights,& I'm using the law correctly.My wife hasn't covered herself at all,well it must be difficult not having a visa.

My main concern is my wife's reaction tomorrow evening,she is going go ballistic & I mean ape s**t,I wont play games with her & I will let her see the kids when ever she wants.In some ways I'm doing her a favour because if she continues this way she will end up with nothing.I can still help her in some ways if she wants but its her choice!

[Mahout Angrit]

Tony, I had wondered how you were getting on. It's a brave move, are the kids happy with that? if so you are half way there, it's going to be difficult for you as a lone parent. As she knows where you live I should have someone else with you and the kids if you expect her to give you trouble. A witness will be essential. The one thing to come out of this, especially if the police are involved, is that she will have to give her address which you can forward to the Home Office (which means she may not have 3 choices) I always felt the HO wouldn't do anything in this case as it would be too much trouble to hunt her down, they have bigger fish to fry.

You did say earlier that you didn't want the kids taken from their mother, it looks as though that may happen now eh.

Good luck and think yourself lucky you are not trying this in Thailand

[Tony Montana]

Well my good wife has got the children back,I did manage to get the kids back into school & everything was fine,kids were happy & were settled.I was called tonight by a man who work's for the court,that he wanted to hand me an order,to give back the children to the mother,it was 5.40pm so I couldn't contact my solictor.

I wouldn't take the order but eventually the police & my wife caught up with me at my sister's home,she'd borrowed £3.5k of her new boyfreind's mother to fast track a 'Prohibited Steps and Specific issue order'.I had to obey the order & gave back our children.

She seemed very concerned about her passport & I told her that there was no visa & I'd sent her passport back to the Home office,she broke down when I gave her this news.I think she might be in a bit of bother because she's told the court that she is legally in the country & has a visa.I dont know & will contact my solictor ASAP.

The order will be reviewed on the 24th,at least we will get this matter resolved then,a complete mess thats all I can say.This is not over & I will keep going regarding of cost,time & pain to me.I just feel for the children,the mother love's them no question but doesn't always put them first in some aspects like school,my family ties to the kids & other important issue's.

I thought she would be gloating tonight but she walked away a broken lady,like I said this is not over & I will continue to be up beat,she may have made matters worse for herself.Will keep you all informed.

[aussiestyle1983]

I look forward to hearing the updates!

[Tony Montana]

I went to my solictor this morning to explain what had happened,she was not impressed & apologised.She told me the only way she could have got the order was to lie to the court ie.I was a threat/danger to the children & she also thought that she would have had to lie about her immigration status.

I dont know where this leaves my wife but she could be in a bit of a pickle,will keep you all informed.

[speech]

Having a complete nightmare at the moment here the UK.

My wife has just cleared off with a 24yr old guy,to the other side of the country,with our 2 kids she wont allow me proper access but I'm giving her money & playing ball.

Her stupid mistake is that her settlement visa is expired,about 6 months,she keeps threatening me with false accusations of rape & me attacking her with a knife etc if I dont do her visa.The guy hasn't once offered to pay for the visa,& frankly why should I lie to the home office for her.The kids are also on Thai passports but I've done everything legal so they would be entitled to have British passports.The question being would she be able to get a new visa if this guy sponsored her? The second question being can I put an embargo on the kids going to Thailand if I get them British passports? Basically what are her options & what are mine?

Please dont give me the comments about me being a mug etc,there's been enough hurt in all of this,so if you are a keyboard ninja please dont bother,useful infomation & experience's would be appreciated.

I feel very very sorry for you Tony. My Thai wife and I had a son, now 7. She divorced me for no reason except she was mad. She had it made with me and we had a good (so I thought) relationship. I was forced to buy her a flat and so on but she left me with the kid. She decided 10 months ago never to see him again and now spreads ugly rumours through the Thai community that I deny her access. I have written to her (in English and Thai) to say that she can have access and that it is up to her. I have copied the letter to her Thai friends. She really messed my life up and at the age of 58 it is very difficult bringing up a 7 year old.

[Tony Montana]

I feel very very sorry for you Tony. My Thai wife and I had a son, now 7. She divorced me for no reason except she was mad. She had it made with me and we had a good (so I thought) relationship. I was forced to buy her a flat and so on but she left me with the kid. She decided 10 months ago never to see him again and now spreads ugly rumours through the Thai community that I deny her access. I have written to her (in English and Thai) to say that she can have access and that it is up to her. I have copied the letter to her Thai friends. She really messed my life up and at the age of 58 it is very difficult bringing up a 7 year old.

Thanks for sharing your experience & your kind words.Please dont feel sorry for me its my children who are the one's who are being affected by all of this.I hate the way my wife use's them all of the time & pretends she's the perfect mother,trying to give me my daughter until she is talked out of it,taking the kids out of school without telling anybody,threatening me with 'you can never see the children again'.The list is long & ugly & we will see what British justice comes up with,I'm not holding my breath though! but I will keep going even if I end up sleeping in a shop window in a sleeping bag.

[Tony Montana]

Well we've been to court,now CAFCASS are involved & will do an assessment of myself & my wife & her partner,normally the Judge will base his decision on this assessment ie.where the children will live.This,I'm told will take 10 weeks.

We had to make a declaration/order to court which will last until this is resolved.I'm allowed to have the children every other weekend friday afternoon until sunday afternoon,my barrister was amazed at this considering I've constantly raped my wife & threatened to kill her with a screwdriver! This is what my wife is claiming in her 'specific issue order'.

My wife also has to turn in the childrens passports.Neither of us are allowed to apply for new passports,be it Thai or British.

My wife has now took on a immigration solicitor to get her own pasport,visa issue resolved,she is not very cockey or arrogant anymore & looks kind of broken.I do feel sorry for her a little but she's the one who has been using the children in all of this.I think she thought that women win everything in this country & didn't anticipate any of this.She's now grounded & there are going to be no holidays in Thailand for her with the children.

As always will keep you posted on any new developments & the outcome,I'm not holding my breath but you never know,I just want the children home.I know I said that I dont want to split the mother from the children,well that still stands,she will always have a choice even if I have to move out of my home.

[Artfullmover]

Off track and no use to you but..

Great avtar ..... It would sum up my feelings if I was in the same situation.

Well Done

[Tony Montana]

Off track and no use to you but..

Great avtar ..... It would sum up my feelings if I was in the same situation.

Well Done

Thanks, a lot of people comment on my avtar.

This quite funny,a bit out of context but funny none the less,if you are offended by bad language please dont listen.

sound_clips___movie_quotes___scarface___say_hello_to_my_little_friend.mp3

Edited January 26, 2007 by Tony Montana

[paully]

If you want to get tough and you want to see the kids/have them with you, you need to apply to court for a Contact Order or Residence Order (under Section 8 of the Children's Act 1989). If a Residence Order is granted, your wife won't be able to take the kids abroad without your consent or that of the court. You could also apply for a Prohibited Steps Order (under the same Act) to prevent her from taking the kids back to Thailand. Proceedings can be expedited if you have reason to believe that she will leave the country imminently. She can obviously retaliate by filing for a divorce plus a maintenance order against you but, of course, her immigration status is uncertain.

Without wishing to blow my own trumpet too much, I did outline the general procedure for you, Tony. I'm sorry your solicitor made a bit of a hash of her advice and that your wife has clearly told a few porkies to get the children back. But, if you keep going, things should work out for you okay through the court. Keep CAFCASS on your side. Good luck!

[Tony Montana]

If you want to get tough and you want to see the kids/have them with you, you need to apply to court for a Contact Order or Residence Order (under Section 8 of the Children's Act 1989). If a Residence Order is granted, your wife won't be able to take the kids abroad without your consent or that of the court. You could also apply for a Prohibited Steps Order (under the same Act) to prevent her from taking the kids back to Thailand. Proceedings can be expedited if you have reason to believe that she will leave the country imminently. She can obviously retaliate by filing for a divorce plus a maintenance order against you but, of course, her immigration status is uncertain.

Without wishing to blow my own trumpet too much, I did outline the general procedure for you, Tony. I'm sorry your solicitor made a bit of a hash of her advice and that your wife has clearly told a few porkies to get the children back. But, if you keep going, things should work out for you okay through the court. Keep CAFCASS on your side. Good luck!

Thanks Paully,nobody expected her actions,in my part of the world its very unusual for a judge to enforce such an order.It worked to a degree because now she has to pay back £3.5k. & she had to lie to get it.

I'd say I've got a 50/50 chance,I dont know if her visa status will have an impact,she has no money,no real security,only some 24 year old guy who can kick her out when ever he wants.Also they will check his previous police record.

I've got a house,family including grandparents,auntie's,uncle's,cousins etc.I've also got some of her Thai friends who will testify against her,saying she used to leave the kids locked in the house alone many times & she used to drink a lot,picking up the kids from school drunk etc.These are true facts which have only come to my attention since all of this business has started.Everybody including her best friends think she is wrong.

Time will tell but this is pc UK! I'm not holding my breath!

[ding]

If you want to get tough and you want to see the kids/have them with you, you need to apply to court for a Contact Order or Residence Order (under Section 8 of the Children's Act 1989). If a Residence Order is granted, your wife won't be able to take the kids abroad without your consent or that of the court. You could also apply for a Prohibited Steps Order (under the same Act) to prevent her from taking the kids back to Thailand. Proceedings can be expedited if you have reason to believe that she will leave the country imminently. She can obviously retaliate by filing for a divorce plus a maintenance order against you but, of course, her immigration status is uncertain. The children court proceedings can, of course, be used as a basis for her to remain here until their conclusion. Court proceedings won't be cheap if you have decent family lawyers to represent you, but it may be the best way

The Hague is concerned about international parental abduction. Maybe show her the form and let her know that you've notified them that you fear she will kidnap you children.

I found it here when I got my ex to write permission to travel with our child without her;

http://www.thailand4kids.com/freestuff/hague.pdf

[paully]

Thanks Paully,nobody expected her actions,in my part of the world its very unusual for a judge to enforce such an order.It worked to a degree because now she has to pay back £3.5k. & she had to lie to get it.

I'd say I've got a 50/50 chance,I dont know if her visa status will have an impact,she has no money,no real security,only some 24 year old guy who can kick her out when ever he wants.Also they will check his previous police record.

I've got a house,family including grandparents,auntie's,uncle's,cousins etc.I've also got some of her Thai friends who will testify against her,saying she used to leave the kids locked in the house alone many times & she used to drink a lot,picking up the kids from school drunk etc.These are true facts which have only come to my attention since all of this business has started.Everybody including her best friends think she is wrong.

Time will tell but this is pc UK! I'm not holding my breath!

Hang in there Tony and it should work out okay. Be prepared for a number of untruths and false accusations in her statement and try to rise above these, being seen to put the kids first. Also watch for dirty tricks from her solicitors who are no doubt legally-aided. The truth should out in the end. These kinds of cases are very traumatic, I used to deal with some when I was a solicitor in the UK a few years ago. Her visa status will have no direct impact I would say, other than as evidence of her chaotic nature.

Edited January 29, 2007 by paully