Being a southern boy (Bristol) I don't get all this about fish and chips being the sole preserve of those born in the sad northern wastes.

Still; here's one that occurrede to me.

A scouse boy goes into a chip shop.....and takes his bike in with him.

And one that's so funny I expect only Libya will get it (!)

Tarzan and Jane are in the treehouse one evening.

Tarzan: What for dinner, Jane?

Jane: I dunno, honey. We got nothing in.

Tarzan: Jane no cry. Tarzan get takeaway. And off he swings into the dusk.

Half an hour later he's back and throws a dead bird and a couple of monkeys on the table.

Jane: Oh no. Not finch and chimps again!

Yep a Libya!

He forgot the squashed hive on the way home, could have had finch, chimps and mushy bees then