Did your teerak open up once back home ?

[mrnike]

hi guys, 

 

I have known my girlfriend for about a year, of which we spent 4 months together, including her 2 weeks holiday to my country, which made our love stronger and made me consider further commitments. As it's been clear since the beginning that i didn't want to leave in Thailand (she told me she is ok with that), the only option left for us is marriage. As this is a an important decision, i decided to come back to Bangkok (for 6 months) to get to know her better. 

Our relationship has been doing fine and we managed to overcome the distance for almost a year. But now that we got together again (since a month), something to which i didn't pay much attention during my first trip, started this time (probabely because the maturity of the relationship) to really bother me and bring me a lot of frustration:  the lack of intellectual curiosity, many people mention.

 

I know some people will be fine with it, but i won't, as i'm not ready to sacrify the intellectual aspect with my (future) wife. I'm not talking here about philosophical discussions, but just the normal amount of exchanges/discussions which makes a relationship fulfilling.

 

As during my 6 months here, i doubt she'll change (as she is in her native environment), i was wondering whether once in Europe she would be able to get more curious intellectually .

 

I would be very interested if those who are leaving back home with their teerak could share their experience.

 

Cheers.

 

 

 

[pgrahmm]

Suspect troll.....

 

Intellectually.....If you're talking world events, the latest scientific discoveries, politics - probably not...It's just not something most of them care much about....

If you're talking business savvy, capable of performing & successfully running/operating an enterprise (or as an employee) they are very adept and usually excell....Same with running a family once you get there....

 

Everybody has different talents, interests/abilities....We all knew or work(ed) with people that excelled in their field but as dull as a box of rocks away from their office - couldn't find much that interested them....It's not only a Thai thing....

 

In the US I was in with the Thai mixed community in SF/LA & these women were as bright, if not brighter than many of the the US born & schooled women....

 

Make sure you're ready to except the inherent differences of one another before you get too involved.....

 

Part of that might be what you consider "intellectualism".....Or you can just consider continually saying to yourself what you're inferring here - "she's stupid".....

 

Don't worry, if she moves with you & she doesn't meet your specifications, there will be interested guys lined up for miles willing to overlook her (by you) imperfections....

[colinneil]

I am not ready to sacrifice the intellectual aspect with my future wife.

Hello what do you expect? Are you wanting a wife who is going to sit down every day with you and have intellectual conversation?

If that is what you want you are going to be a very disappointed man.

Or as pgrahmm said.... Maybe a troll.

[wildewillie89]

I think both location, and social setting/environment could impact curiosity. When the Mrs was working down in Yala the conversations were much more worldly (as she had to understand why people were trying to blow her up). If she didn't get this understanding/have these daily conversations, it would have made her time there pretty dangerous. Instead, she still calls it her favourite place in Thailand now due to the friends from different religions/cultures she made. Once moving back to her hometown she is surrounded by the village folk so conversations are pretty boring (mostly about food). Would be the same for anyone in any environment. Conversations with your friends at uni will be a whole lot different than the conversation with your mates on a construction site.

 

Many things happening in life may also direct her curiosity. When we had our first baby, the Mrs was back to doing things based on research, rather than village ways.

[jeab1980]

What a load of crock. 

[Gumballl]

When I am back in my home country with my Thai wife, I skip out at least once or twice a week to the local bar to meet with the mates and the bar tenders to get a dose of intellectual conversation.  If you are wondering if this bothers me, well, not one bit.  I work 24 hours a week at office (and 16 at home) where I can get plenty more intellectual conversations, should I desire such.

[bill59]

If you are looking for intellectual curiosity in the manner you are used to forget it. Been married to my wife 11 years and it's just not there. The minute I talk about politics or science or such I get the pood mak or hurt head response However she is incredibly practical, organized and knows how to run a house and get the most out of my money for us. Also very funny, affectionate and loving. It's a trade off but one I've been fine with.


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[steven100]

If you wanted to have intellectual conversations ....  then you should marry a psychologist

Maybe look for someone your age rather than 10yrs below your waist measurement.  

[jeab1980]

2 minutes ago, steven100 said:

If you wanted to have intellectual conversations ....  then you should marry a psychologist

Maybe look for someone your age rather than 10yrs below your waist measurement.  

Whilst i have said already its Spam. Why do you assume this mythical lady is years younger? From experiance? 

[wildewillie89]

Whether spam or not, it is interesting to explore.

 

Some fair points...people have different qualities and people want to find different qualities also. Each to their own.

It is not wrong for someone to look for some intellectual stimulation. It is not hard to find someone to bed or look out for you in Thai, but it is a little bit harder to find someone half intelligent due to how bad the education system is. 

The Mrs degree is in the health/science field and she is a government official (so in theory could pass a test others bachelor educated people couldn't). She is capable of having a conversation regarding science or politics (especially terrorism now after her time down South) when she wants to, but is no good at the cooking/housework. 

 

The mother-in-law on the other hand loves cooking so will send lunches and dinners to the house to free up our time a bit. And the Mrs and I obviously share the cleaning/washing  - and cooking on days the mother cannot. 

Doesn't mean the wife is any less loving or affectionate to me, than her mother is to her father. Or other wives are to their husbands. You can have intelligence matched with affection. Just means she lives in an era different from her mother. The mother left school pretty early due to the time period, whereas the Mrs grew up in a different time. So different things can play parts. Location, social environment, age, opportunities, etc. 

I wouldn't worry if I was the OP, the fact she demonstrated some sort of intellectual curiosity at some point means it is there. Just needs something to crack it open again.

[mrnike]

Just wonna make one thing clear: when i used the term "intellectual curiostity", i was reaferring to being able to comment together what she/i lived, experienced saw or heard (whatever the subject). Having a window to the outside world, instead of almost exclusively having a very minimal little talk centered on the couple.

 

To answer your question: I'm 47 and she's 32.