Wai

[pampal]

The Wai is used as a greeting and goodbye in Thailand.

It also has other uses and meanings. I have seen many people who I think don't use the Wai correctly, specially customers Wai'ing restaurant service workers first. Shouldn't the workers Wai first and the customer Wai'ing in response.

Is it OK to nod after someone has Wai'ed you or should you always Wai back.

I want to know the proper usage so I don't offend anyone.

[Crossy]

I am no expert!!!

Volumes of often conflicting information have been posted on this forum in the past (do a quick seach). My wife has been little help with any rules, so if in doubt I follow her lead.

MY rules :-

I NEVER wai service staff, they get a nod at best.

I wai the (Thai) chairman of meetings held at customers premises.

I wai my mother in law, always gets a smile and a wai in return

I doubt you (as a foreigner) will ever cause offence by returning a wai, it's just not done in some cases. Apart from the above I never initiate a wai.

If someone can come up with hard and fast rules I'm sure many on this board would be interested.

[Pink Mist]

just nod, play it safe

[Nawtilus]

I always feel uncomfortable doing it, but that is my own surpressed memories.

I do it a lot, sometimes I dont do it at all, depends on who and circumstance, sometimes, many times I just do as you questioned and nod acknowledgement of it.

The reason I am uncomfortable is that it is the same gesture to me as the christian praying, being dragged up a catholic, school and sunday mass until I could stand it no more and being forced to do it all the while being abused by a fellow alter boy and his pet poodle named 'paris'.....just brings back bad memories every time I do one.

[buriramboy]

i still find one of the most hillarious things in Thailand is seeing farangs wai-ing bargirls, obviously an improper use of a wai.

BB

[Neeranam]

i still find one of the most hillarious things in Thailand is seeing farangs wai-ing bargirls, obviously an improper use of a wai.

BB

Isn't it.

Simply -I wai someone if I respect them, if they're older or I want something from them(without paying).

[TAWP]

To bring back an old forum-favorite:

"When is it proper to Wai a bargirl?"

"Perhaps after a BJ?"

[Nawtilus]

Why exactly is it that you cringe when a person wai's a bg...they are thai people also aren't they ?? It is embarrassing to wai them, but not her sister who happens to work in Pizza hut ??

[buriramboy]

if you respect bargirls, you feel free to carry on wai-ing them, but while doing it if you here some one laughing that will be me.

BB

[TAWP]

Do you Wai the teller at McDonalds too?

Only thing you are doing is diluting the sign of respect the Wai is supposed to show.

[Totster]

Lets get back to the subject without involving BG's please.

The way I understand it is that you should wai someone older than yourself, or someone of higher standing. Children do not need to be wai'd

If someone younger than yourself (other than children) gives the wai first, I normally wai back, I think it's polite ( some situations do not need it, ;ike in a service environment, but this can be figured out with practice and advice)

As a farang you cannot be expected to get it right all of the time, but I think if you follow my understanding you won't be far wrong.

totster

[Neeranam]

As a farang you cannot be expected to get it right all of the time

Why not?

[Mid]

As a farang you cannot be expected to get it right all of the time

Why not?

ignorant question ...........

possibly due to the fact that you haven't grown up with the culture .............

[Totster]

As a farang you cannot be expected to get it right all of the time

Why not?

Because neeranam, a lot of farang haven't yet spent the amount of time in Thailand that others have, therefore will not have the experience to know what to do in every situation, most Thais will know this, and therefore will give small allowances, and hopefully are able to give advice in such situations.

totster

[ashacat]

if you respect bargirls, you feel free to carry on wai-ing them, but while doing it if you here some one laughing that will be me.

BB

I'll join ya BB!!!

[Nawtilus]

<post removed>

I said this topic is not about BG's, and I meant it.

Edited January 4, 2007 by Totster

[Nawtilus]

Ok, not about humans either.

[Totster]

Ok, not about humans either.

Nawtilus,

Feel free to add some advice about the wai.. but this thread will not degenerate into a discussion about certain groups of people.

totster

[bkkmadness]

Why exactly is it that you cringe when a person wai's a bg...they are thai people also aren't they ?? It is embarrassing to wai them, but not her sister who happens to work in Pizza hut ??

It's kind of ridiculous to wai either of them.

[Nawtilus]

I did and you deleted it, the OP wants to know in what situation is ok, there are many different situations aren't there.

So if the individual situation cannot be discussed, then the OP will still be confused and anyone else who is unsure reading this and they may as well still get it wrong, therefore what was the use in the OP starting this thread and his enquiry to get it right when he is not allowed to know the individual situation, which is what it is all about in this country.

It is not a general hello as in other countries.

[chuchok]

Ok, not about humans either.

Nawtilus,

Feel free to add some advice about the wai.. but this thread will not degenerate into a discussion about certain groups of people.

totster

What is he ment to say tots,"a woman who happened to work in a bar"?

[Nawtilus]

Why exactly is it that you cringe when a person wai's a bg...they are thai people also aren't they ?? It is embarrassing to wai them, but not her sister who happens to work in Pizza hut ??

It's kind of ridiculous to wai either of them.

Your generalising way to much and thats not helpfull to the OP and his enquiry or anyone else who is unsure....heck even I am unsure now....should I wai you ?

[Nawtilus]

Ok, not about humans either.

Nawtilus,

Feel free to add some advice about the wai.. but this thread will not degenerate into a discussion about certain groups of people.

totster

What is he ment to say tots,"a woman who happened to work in a bar"?

Thanks Smedley

[Totster]

Lets get back on topic..

My post earlier was deliberately meant to be simple, because thats the best way to start to understand.

Nawtilus, can you expand on what I posted, I'm interested to hear you views.

totster

[JacknDanny]

Why exactly is it that you cringe when a person wai's a bg...they are thai people also aren't they ?? It is embarrassing to wai them, but not her sister who happens to work in Pizza hut ??

It's kind of ridiculous to wai either of them.

I disagree.

If we categorise 'people working in the service industry' which can mean BGs, restaurant staff, McDonalds staff etc etc.

In my opinion it would be improper to INITIATE a wai to any of these people, however if you happen to frequent a particular restaurant on a regular basis and get to know the staff extremely well, then in my opinion it is perfectly OK to return a wai. I do so, my Thai friends do so, and I have seen several other Thais do so

[bkkmadness]

Why exactly is it that you cringe when a person wai's a bg...they are thai people also aren't they ?? It is embarrassing to wai them, but not her sister who happens to work in Pizza hut ??

It's kind of ridiculous to wai either of them.

Your generalising way to much and thats not helpfull to the OP and his enquiry or anyone else who is unsure....heck even I am unsure now....should I wai you ?

I'm not generalising, it is ridiculous to wai either of them, because of a few reasons I suppose, first being you would generally be older than them, second they are in the service industry and you are a customer, thirdly because the wai is very respectful and it's just overkill in either situation. I suppose it would be akin to going up to a Pizza Hut worker in the UK/USA whatever and shaking their hand, it's just not done. If they wai you it doesn't hurt to give a wai back, but a nod of the head and a smile is fine. Do as the Thais do really.

[bkkmadness]

Why exactly is it that you cringe when a person wai's a bg...they are thai people also aren't they ?? It is embarrassing to wai them, but not her sister who happens to work in Pizza hut ??

It's kind of ridiculous to wai either of them.

I disagree.

If we categorise 'people working in the service industry' which can mean BGs, restaurant staff, McDonalds staff etc etc.

In my opinion it would be improper to INITIATE a wai to any of these people, however if you happen to frequent a particular restaurant on a regular basis and get to know the staff extremely well, then in my opinion it is perfectly OK to return a wai. I do so, my Thai friends do so, and I have seen several other Thais do so

Ok I should clarify, if the people are well known to you and they are your friends then that's fine, I was thinking more along the lines of strangers. OK, see Nautilus point about generalising now too.

[Nawtilus]

Exactly Jack and any of these other posters who claim it is not the done thing just do not realise the complexity of it all...like I said, I do not and still after living here 4 years do not always get it right....but I try and try and try and try.

Hey Totser....good politicly correct and nuetral reply....you swiss at all ??

Ok, lets use the term service staff SS as a general then, it can incorporate all the groups, particulalry the one we cannot mention, cos they are all human, just different jobs.

If I go into various restaurants, bars, supermarkets etc, stafff will always wai you, look at the staff in Foodland after the cashier gives you the change, auotomatic wai etc.

What I have found to be most suitable for me, is that when I visit a bar, a restaurant or such that I often frequent and the stafff know me in general from sight as a frequent customer, I always acknowledge with a nod and a sawadee or khob khun khup, I rarely ever wai.

If one particular staff member in any of these establishments I have known and spoken to and perhaps become friends with, I will give a small wai to them, but usually only once, usually on greeting and just say thanks with a big smile on leaving.

I never ever wai any SS member first and you have to weigh up the situation, like I said with staff in a bar, some supervising staff will certainly be older than you and not just general staff. But again I never wai them, purely because I assess the situation as them only reallly being nice to me because I am going to spend money in their bar, a shallow reason for a cultural wai.

Now as for other social situations, I always do someone older than me and first. If I have respect for someone who I am not sure of the age thing, I will do first, they will do first other times, no problem. For example my builder at the moment, I have a lot of respect for him (currently) as he is doing a good job after many idiots and he and his wife seem to be genuinely nice people. Whereas another guy, I know is a lying plick and I never wai him first, but I do after he does me.

The social thing, if that person is a higher status than me, I do not care for and never have, so I do not get into doing it first, if they do me, great, if they do not becuase I get the feeling they expect it from me because i am lower than them, then I do not do it at all.

What I tend to do is wai the people I think I will respect, not arsewipes etc.

Then there is the situation of someone in power or position, if it is a respectable and working position, then I have no problem acknowledging that as their achievement, but again, if they expect it because they are better than someone else, then they can wait for it.

Being a foreigner, we can get away with making mistakes, you will never really know the fine intricacies of it completely because you were not born here and grew up with it through school and all your learning life, like back home where you should grow your manners with age and experience.

Anyway, somehow I think Totser knows all this

[aussiestyle1983]

If your not sure, dont do it. As you are a farang the Thais will understand if you dont Wai. The only people here that I Wai are my wifes older family members, unless I meet someone of very hi social status and I am instructed to do so. I dont even wai the principal at my school. I know it would be good if I waied her, but I have never done it for the year I have worked there (except on the firts day i met her) when I see her I just smile, nod my head and say good morning or whatever, she gives a warm smile back and I know she understands why I dont wai. I always smile and nod my head to everyone. If im given change at the supermarket and the checkout chick wai's, I just smile and nod the head. That feels polite to me and the Thais think a nod of the head is showing them respect anyway.

I also have heard if you know someone for a long time and have never waied them, then one day you start waiing them, they will think it is strange....... Is this true?

[BambinA]

I NEVER wai service staff, they get a nod at best.

Agree

Lets get back to the subject without involving BG's please.

The way I understand it is that you should wai someone older than yourself, or someone of higher standing. Children do not need to be wai'd

If someone younger than yourself (other than children) gives the wai first, I normally wai back, I think it's polite( some situations do not need it, ;ike in a service environment, but this can be figured out with practice and advice)

Agree

I'm not generalising, it is ridiculous to wai either of them, because of a few reasons I suppose, first being you would generally be older than them, second they are in the service industry and you are a customer, thirdly because the wai is very respectful and it's just overkill in either situation. I suppose it would be akin to going up to a Pizza Hut worker in the UK/USA whatever and shaking their hand, it's just not done. If they wai you it doesn't hurt to give a wai back, but a nod of the head and a smile is fine. Do as the Thais do really.

>>The reason why you need not to wai at waiter/waitress and service staffs

Agree

One easy determination is age. If someone is older than you, then you should wai them unless they are someone whom you employ, such as a housekeeper. Additionally, you should never wai to anyone who you are paying for service, such as waiters, tailors, vendors, shopkeepers or taxi drivers. You also wouldn't wai your peers and friends. Alternatively, when leaving a party or other such gathering, you should wai everyone, as this is the polite way to excuse yourself from the festivities.

You will also wai when receiving a gift from a superior, as a sign of thanks. Make your wai before you reach to take the object. While listening to a Buddhist sermon, it is also customary to hold a wai during the entire programme. You may even notice that as drivers of vehicles pass a sacred monument, they will wai - even taking their hands off the wheel!

If all that wasn't confusing enough, there are different kinds of wais! The normal wai is with your hands pressed together at about chest level, presenting a slight bow with your body. The wai to a superior is with the tips of your fingers at nose level, still bowing your body. To convey the most respect and gratitude, you will wai with your fingertips at mouth level and present a deeper and longer bow.

from : http://www.1stopchiangmai.com/how_to/wai/