You Know You've Lived In The Middle East Too Long

Kan Win · May 3, 2004

For all of you that have or are still working there.

In continuation of my original post “You Know You've Been In Asia Too Long If”

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You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat.

You think the uncut version of "Little House on the Prairie is provocative.

You expect the confirmation on your airline ticket to read "insha'allah".

You don't expect to eat dinner before 10:30 p.m.

You need a sweater when it's 80 degrees out.

Your ideal vacation is anywhere you can eat pork.

Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid.

You believe that speed limits are only advisory.

You have no problem with tractors driving 40kph on the highway.

You know which end of a shawarma to unwrap first.

You think that the further you inch into the middle of an intersection, the faster the light will turn green.

You consider it normal for the same section of road to be dug up three times by contractors in the space of a few weeks.

You understand that the true definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the light turning green and the guy behind you honking is horn.

You think that all gas stations are made of marble.

You can receive every TV station crystal clear except the local one.

You get used to using the cold water tap to get hot water during the summer.

You make left turns from the far right lane without a second thought.

You expect gold for every birthday.

You think that a box of Kleenex belongs on every dinner table.

You think water only comes in bottles.

You understand that when someone says "Bukra, insha'allah" to you it really means "Sometime during this calendar year...if you're lucky";

Edited May 3, 2004 by Kan Win

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