Never Ending Story..........

[Stocky]

I was sad to see the Word Association thread closed, so here's a new game.

The idea is to continue the story one word or short phrase at a time, anyone

familiar with the BBC radio show "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" will understand.

So here's the beginning of our story:

Reg hadn't been in this bar on Soi Cowboy before, but he liked the music,

the girls were pretty and the beer cold. He'd just caught the barman's

eye when .......

[chuchok]

a very large man in a dress walked in the bar and....

[meom]

ordered a large glass of water with two straws while he was opening...

[taxexile]

his lunch

[chuchok]

box He then proceeded to eat

[taxexile]

THE GARLIC FUMES WERE OVERPOWERING !

[chuchok]

in more ways than one, when the owner of the bar stepped in and said "oy, arn't....

[taxexile]

.....you going to go over and take care of the customer , yes you oy !

wake up ! c'mon oy , we've got a customer , first one this month.

[chuchok]

Oy turned the same colour of his pink frock and slowly walked over to his customer. "want to buy be a drink"......

[taxexile]

sure i'll buy you a drink , what'll it be, a vimto or a knee trembler round the back with a slice of lemon and extra ice ?

[chuchok]

knee trembler will be fine, but hold the ice as i'm..

[taxexile]

already feeling nauseous from your garlic breath and the ice might just......

[khall64au]

........ suddenly, Canadian- Jesse walked in the bar straight off the plane and freaking out - hah! He said "......

[Stocky]

"I just quit my job!"

[chuchok]

"your joking mate" said a drunk aussie who had just wandered into the bar in search of the man wearing a dress.

[kayo]

And Jesse replied, " nah, REALLY Man!! I`ve just quit my job and dumped my broad, who`s on ly half Laotian anyway, and I wanna get into some Thai BOXes if you know what I mean!" As he idly stroked the maple leaf, newly stiched upon his oversized backpack.

[chuchok]

The Australian that Jesse had been talking to, grunted,farted and made a move on the bloke in a dress.

jesse, still stroking his maple leaf wondered why he was there..what had he done?

[khall64au]

Next thing, the purple-piss-police busted in and Jesse dived under the...........

[Stocky]

........table. Meanwhile the purple-piss-police are beating the crap out of the Aussy bloke who'd made the mistake of telling them to <deleted>-off when asked to provide a sample. Using the fight as cover Jesse slips...........

[khall64au]

his brand new designer backpack on (with the shiny Canadian flag badge ) and races off to...........

[Stocky]

...to his room at the Siam Oriental Inn where, clutching his Canadian flag badge, he curls into a fetal position and starts chanting his calming mantra "Mommy, mommy, this is freaking me out".

Meanwhile back at the bar Reg and Oy (the bloke in a dress) are trying to rouse the Aussy guy who the purple-piss-police have left lying in a pool of blood on the floor. Reg turns to Oy and says...

[taxexile]

i've just found a wallet on the floor with some canadian dollars in it , do you think we should.........

[Stocky]

...Party! Too right!" says the big Aussy bloke coming to his senses.

"I reckon the Canadian kid was one of them undercover farang police,

so <deleted> him, how much have we got?"

"Looks like $4,500, a credit card and a few Baht." says Reg.

[taxexile]

no said oy , i may just be a cheap bargirl with herpes from soi cowboy whos blown more blokes than you've had hot dinners , but i've got a heart of gold.

we must find that poor canadian , he may be a naive numpty just off the plane , but that money and credit card are his and must be returned to him.

he shouldnt be too hard to find , hes got kow saan dreadlocks and a stupid maple leaf tattoed on his forehead

i'm going to find him , as long as it takes and however far i have to roam.

and with that she grabbed the wallet and walked out the door to start her search for the canuk.

Edited November 6, 2005 by taxexile

[Jockstar]

As she went on her merry way. She looked in the usual places Soi Cowboy again , Nana and Patpong. Then coming to her senses. Realised that there is more than one street in Patpong. One straight and one well for .... the people who bat for the other side. So onwards she strode....

Edited November 6, 2005 by Jockstar

[taxexile]

looking through the wallet she saw a namecard for a guest house in kaw saan road.

"honey dripper perfumed buddha and groovy oriental joss stick guesthouse , luxury rooms 60b a night , saudis and syrians most welcome , israeli management."

she hailed a motorcycle taxi and jumped on the back , take me to kaw saan road she said.

as she sped through the bangkok traffic a frightening thought crossed her mind ,

what if .................

[daleyboy]

I am not wearing clean underwear and we have an accident........

[Stocky]

Meanwhile Reg had helped the big Aussy bloke onto a bar stool.

"Strewth, could have done with the cash, the piss-police took

my wallet."

With a grin and a flourish Reg produces a handful of crisp

Canadian $50 dollar bills, "Oy didn't get it all I saved a few",

counting up Reg says "we've got $550 bucks, that's almost 20K

in Baht, think we can party on that?"

"Too bloody right!

My names Bruce, but most people call me The Gent" says the Aussy.

"Why's that then?"

"I'll be f**ked if I know" says The Gent.

[taxexile]

luckily they didnt have an accident and she reached the guest house safely.

she knocked on the door and a stern faced long bearded israeli man opened the door ,

excuse me but do you have any canadian guests here ,

the israeli man looked her up and down with horror ,

"i know , i am a prostitute from soi cowboy" , she said

"aaaacccchhhhh prostitute shmostitute "he replied , "have you seen the length of the fukcing skid marks on your underwear"

"youd better come in and clean yourself up , i was just about to bring out a length of salty beef , would you like a mouthful."

well if ............

[daleyboy]

Your offering i am always happy to chomp down on a bit of salty beef, it gets me........