Seems like a no brainer to me.
My GF is 33 years younger than me, and the spare is 30 years younger.
The wife is only 19 years younger 🙂
I wouldn't be doing that in America.
My cousin took his wife tp Pattaya to celebrate his 5oth birthday.
They had a great time.
I have also seen Farang couples holiday in Pattaya for the purpose of taking additional sexual partners.
One size does not fit all.
You are a classic oil industry visitor to Thailand - one month on, one month off..
The point is that, in these circumstances, you are married to a Thai and your homed is in Thailand; the appropriate visa/extension for you is one based on marriage.
No.....that bit is ideal for a first visit.
I do fail to see the attraction of a national, of any country, visiting Pattaya and wanting to spend all their time with other nationals of his country.
I am surprised that you are surprised by the IO's actions.
The first principle of entry requirements is that you have the visa that is appropriate to your circumstances. VE or TV are not suitable for someone living in Thailand or making regular visits to see their Thai wife.
That is all you need to know at this stage.
Ignore the potential for future issues, or prepare for the possibilty.
I don't give a toss what you choose to do, I have made adequate provision for the unlikely event that the UK banks may take a tougher stance on expat accounts during my lifetime..
You have been here long enough to know that it was your fault.
Rule 1: Expect the unexpected
Rule 2: never try and cross the Sukhumvit Road unless via footbridge.