ToddWeston

King Rat - James Clavell

I understand the difference between Thailand and Jamaica is that the money boys over there target older ladies rather than older men.

They also have bigger willies

I've seen all the old fatties on the prowl when we last visited - yikes what an eye opener.

I asked one time if it was possible to add their world famous jerk spice to a turkey and how long should it marinate the bird - his response was encouraging " I've jerked almost everything in this world but never a turkey man"'

I wonder if she will recuse herself from future hearings ? Just wondering out loud.

Absolutely not. There would be no need.

Would a justice who performs an opposite sex wedding need to recuse herself on a case that touches on marriage law in general? Of course not!

But she's quite old and won't be on the court much longer anyway.

It is settled law that the federal government recognizes same sex marriages in states in which they are legal as fully equal to any other marriage.

But but - same sex marriage is law.

I've never heard of her until this post so more power to her I guess.

I wonder if she will recuse herself from future hearings ? Just wondering out loud.

Edit : Double post apologies

The chicken stock cubes are packed with salt and msg I believe.

I'd roast left over chicken bones and then make your stock, add onions skins for colour - as for flavour roasting the carrots and garlic will take it up a notch. Perhaps add some eggs whites since you're trying to keep it low cal - egg drop soup. Other veg as mentioned but also beer root ? colour and fairly flavourful.

Are Gay Pride Parades (Globally) Good For The "Gay Community"?

NO... Public Relations wise - they are an abject failure -- bringing about the reverse of what may be intended by the organizers.

Better yet ... organize a charity - get the people together build houses for poor people --

And please - just stop with all the flamboyant stuff - it only turns the public off... Flamboyance and victimhood don't play well together ...

I am sure many of you folks don't want to hear this -- but maybe you should... Being just a person - not obsessed with displays of gayness plays a lot better in the overall community. You'd be surprised as to how much more tolerance there is when one does not go around pushing 'gayness' into peoples' faces ...

I doubt what one old straight guy says will make any difference. I happen to like the sight of naked or semi-nude women ... but I do not wish for a parade of them is exotic and erotic costumes parading down main street while playing with themselves... There is a time and a place for everything ...

I agree with you (except the semi naked female part )

For years my business was approached to be a sponsor of the local gay parade and I refused time and time again. When the organisers realised we happened to be gay and serviced the gay community in our business they started to listen and we mentioned charity projects- walks, runs, art in the park festivals, sport, woof fest type events - real community events where I could take a 2 year neice or my 92 year old Nan. The money people always understood this but the old timers who were radicals in the day wont accept change.

Perhaps in the day the shock value of we're here were queer had some affect on rights but IMHO it's a circus today.

When the media reports the parade I usually cringe and change the channel because I don't feel they represent my community nor my sexual orientation the way I would like to be portrayed. I don't like labels and I can do without their help.

I have never attended one and the majority of my gay friends/family do not attend them, the parades won't go away but I wish they would run the silly parade at the start of the event rather than making it the highlight at the end of the week end.

We regularly have duck as a meal, slow roasted. I get about 2/3 of a cup of fat from two leg portions that I then keep for my roast spuds. Just an idea, you can have a nice duck meal and get the fat for your tatties.

Do you put the duck on a rack with tatties underneath? Mmmhhh Heaven.

Don't know where you live of course but where do you buy your duck?

Lord luv a duck

I might just as well share the way I do my roasties and honestly they are the best IMHO, but if there is something better I'll give it a whirl.

Bring potatoes to the boil with salted water 5 to 8 minutes (don't put them in hot water)

Drain in colander and leave for 5 minutes for the steam to evaporate

Return to pot - put lid on the pot and give them a really good shake just to fluff them

Place in roasting pan with goose fat or duck fat on gas mark 4 for 30 minutes. (200c)

The fluffing part makes them crispy and wonderful.

I like the idea of using the fat from the roast RAB - I'm also curious do you rack roast the bird ? and any thoughts if I spatchcocked the bird ? I'd really like to get as much fat as possible.

Have a family feast coming up and they asked for my roasted potatoes. I usually buy duck or goose fat back home but thought it would be fun to try it as duck isn't that terribly expensive and hopefully I can save enough duck for a cassoulet (maybe ?)

Any tips on which method works best (water or dry method) with Thai ducks ? are they super fatty ? The prepared ones in restaurants seem very lean and tasty.

http://www.greenmarketrecipes.com/poultry/making_duck_fat.htm

I miss driving on country roads that lead to no where.

I miss long walks on a frosty morning.

I miss reading the newspaper from cover to cover.

I miss turning the heat on before going to bed.

I really miss being able to eavesdrop at the coffee shoppe.

No. I used it back home for coloring a beef steak.

Here is a link for better explanation.

http://www.hotsauceworld.com/j64.html

My apologies - I've never heard of that before I'm keen to try it now, looks interesting. I'm doing a grocery run tomorrow and will keep my eye out for it.

Do you mean something like HP sauce aka brown sauce ?

The first time I met the inlaws on arrival - they were literally shaking with nerves and came out with a well rehersed - Welcome to my country.

Todd, its a total guess but his antipathy to your partner (sorry, but I hate the "hubby/wifey" bit) may be because he doesn't want to grow up to be like him or to be seen to be like him - not because of anything personal. Many Thais, even gay Thais, still have a fixation about being a "man", and think that if you're openly gay then you aren't a "man".

That view's changing but so slowly as to be imperceptible, and unfortunately Thais have no gay "role models" or heroes as we do in the West who fit the "man" category - no-one like Gareth Thomas or Orlando Cruz. Instead they have media personalities like Ma (horse) and Kru Lily, and the "gay activists" who are all also fem gays ("kathoeys" to many Thais) or lesbians. He's probably just frightened of being tarred with the same brush and is trying to distance himself from that stereotype.

You've already "actually said (hate me now) is this a phase ...........are you sure......." so that's out of the way - its NOT the "stupid comment" you thought it was, you didn't do anything "wrong", but its a natural reaction and in some ways he may have taken it as a compliment that you didn't notice anything and were taken by surprise!

He's also asked when you knew and so he might well ask again or ask if you think that he's gay since you asked him if he was sure, so it may be as well to be prepared with an answer. Most, but obviously not all of us, have known since we first thought about it (and I couldn't pin it down to a specific age, and it certainly wasn't when I was only 8!) so that's a simple answer. What IN MY VIEW you must NOT do, as I said in my second post above which was also intended for you, is to suggest IN ANY WAY that just because you are gay you have any way of knowing if he (or anyone else) is gay. Others may disagree (and obviously some do) but in my view the ONLY person who can say if he's gay is your nephew and to suggest that you have ANY way of knowing would be to influence him when he is at his most vulnerable; to me it's as unacceptable from you as it would be from a "straight" friend or relative telling him that they somehow know he's straight because they are, or that he's gay because he's not quite the same as them.

If he's wondering how he can be gay when he's a "man", which is not unusual for many gay Thais his age now, then have some suitable pictures of Gareth Thomas or Orlando Cruz lined up (and maybe fudge that there aren't any Thai equivalents by mumbling that you're only a farang so you don't know of any Thai ones).

Language skills aside, its not really any surprise that when he talks about his "emotions it's in English with (you) but all the other fluff is in Thai" - that's just a reflection of his "Thai" side.

It'd be interesting to know your partner's take on it all - but only after either your nephew tells him or, as you say, once the plane door closes.

I think after the raw emotion he showed I took it to mean more than it actually meant. I was simply part of the process for him .

My partner (I know he won't read this) can be an arse with tradition, he goes native here and the Thai really comes out. I think it's cute one minute and then it bothers me, but it's also a money ego issue.

They spent part of the day together and hate each other more - so I'm silent. I think it does bring up family wounds that their son/brother/uncle left and became western and the west made him gay -just guessing but I do feel that.

He did show me pics of friends and wow the kid has good taste, I do agree since he's a sport fan (Chelsea hmmm) I will talk about some notable figures that aren't Hollywood glam boys.

Now it's really a wait and see when he decides to come out to the rest of the family if that's really part of his plan. I told him just fall in love and they will accept, after all these years I've been part of the family they do love each other unconditionally so go with that.

I'm sure you don't need me to tell you about "how Thais are", but one thing that a lot of farangs don't realise is that Thais generally don't wear their hearts on their sleeves like many Westerners do (something Sustento has alluded to) and the idea that "a problem shared is a problem halved" is totally alien to many Thais where a problem shared is just passing your problem on to someone else.

Thais will spend hours talking about absolutely nothing, tweeting away inanely (I'm a bit old for Tweeting), etc, and they'll quite happily gossip about anything including other people's sex lives, but where their own problems are concerned that's a different story. They just don't do heart-to-hearts. One of my in-laws (all Thai) made half-a-dozen posts on facebook last week about how much she's going to miss her baby (a few months old) as the baby's coming back to Thailand from Australia with her mother-in-law, and as she and her husband are both at Uni in Australia and working there mother-in-law looks after any babies (there when she's there, now here); none of my normally facebook-chatty in-laws said anything, until my partner showed me and I suggested he said something - its just not the "Thai way".

The problem for you, Todd, is that however much you are accepted by your partner's family you will never actually be part of the family - it simply isn't humanly possible, no matter how well you get on, speak Thai, eat Lao sausage, etc. You aren't Thai and you never will be, and that's the end of it - what that means in this context is that because you aren't "part of the family" per se (and can never be) there's no restriction on his unburdening himself to you as there would be to his Thai family and friends.

Its not that he doesn't trust them or he's worried about what they might say, or that he's particularly "honoured" you by choosing you to confide in - if anything its because he's not bothered about making a problem for you while he doesn't want to risk making a problem for his Thai family and friends - you're outside the "system", so you don't count!

The first time I experienced this was about 20 years ago with a Thai friend-of-a-friend who was several years older than me, had tons of close friends, whom I only knew well enough to have a beer with and pass the time of day. Out of the blue he's crying on my shoulder (literally) about his wife having sex with other men (something everyone knew, even me, but nobody said anything about) and pouring out all his life's woes, and when I look round to see if I've understood properly I realise that we're alone - and that's why he's chosen me.

All he needs is support and someone to talk to; personal advice isn't really on the cards, as you're situation's so different to his, and he doesn't need "love" - think of yourself as an "Aunt Sally" or "Agony Aunt". Talk about your experience if that's what he wants, but mostly just LISTEN - listening to other people's problems and talking about your own isn't really the "Thai way" and that's why, like it or not, you're "it".

I think you're spot on - I'm outside the circle and I was the testing ground. He's been a shadow for the last couple of days and I have simply listened and tried to be as supportive as I can.

I do find it interesting when the nephew speaks about emotions it's in English with me but all the other fluff is in Thai.

Being an outsider is another topic or I'm sure has been covered in other threads but an incident few weeks ago and it was clear I'm part of the family but I'm not family. I wanted to know what the plans were for Mothers Day - do I need to find somewhere to book a table, find flowers and I suggested a few items for gifts - I was told in a nano second "don't worry we take care of she's our Mum". Yet on the other side of the world - well you know.

I do find the younger kids nowadays becoming more open about discussing feelings and emotions, there is always a gang of kids hanging out here and I listen and talk to all of them and I often think back to my early days and the only time my hubby would admit he had a toothache was after he refused ice cream. He's even commented that the kids are learning western traits of opening up and then adds "that's not very Thai"

Buy a plunger or drink the tap water - works for me

We are in the middle of a renovation and they told us if we need any work done on a Sunday it would be double the day rate.

A friend of mine rigs his own house when I visit - marbles in the medicine cabinet (I'm a Pharmacist so I'm I allowed to snoop

He's drained my fuel tank

He adds lemon juice to ice cubes - wonderful with single malt

Waters down the whisky with tea

Mentholated talc on the toilet paper

Shuts the water intake off for the toilet

Flushes when I shower

Leaves short and curries in the bed and bath tub

Sets the alarm clock in my room for 0200

Plays pipe music at 0600

Puts olive oil on my reading glasses

Painted a hitler moustache on my drivers licence

Calls my Mum and says I don't look well and he's worried

He buys cheap dollar cologne and sprays it outside to ensure mozzies have a feast

He's rubbed the blue toilet pucks on my flip flops

When he visits me he disconnects all the plugs and it takes me days to reset everything and then he zaps all my DVR recordings. He'll say it's vintage port only to find out he's put wine and lots of sugar. Salt and pepper caps removed. Unscrews lightbulbs - took me years and cost me a fortune.

When we go to the cinema he always buys tickets for some Shrek type movie when my heart is set on Schindlers list or the likes.

I won't mention what I do for professional reasons

I feel a bit guilty, I misread it, I thought it said "Blow Thai, be Free."

Shouldn't that be "Blow Thai for free"?

Back on track - went to kill some time today and saw Any Day Now, I went because of the Downs issue but it's about a gay couples struggle to adopt/foster a downs child. I thought it interesting only 3 Thais out of 30 people in the cinema and 2 of those Thais were with me.

Central World top floor grocery store. 200 grams 24 baht.

Why in the world would 300 foreigners pay Big Mama Thai 30,000 baht for a false Thai visa?

I agree, however what sends shivers down my spine is that these people either don't have the funds to enter( if that is a requirement in some cases) or they have a shadey past and realise they wouldn't be granted a visa in the first place. But finding so many undesirables in days is what is really scary -yikes

Yes he is Thai - just spent the evening with him and he thought my reaction was cute. It wasn't IMHO and I wish I did it differently but I more than made up for it tonight. He said he will come out to the rest of the family in the coming weeks but needs my support - oh sigh

The hubby situation is bad as neither like each other, I have no idea why and I'm spent dealing with family drama

If it ever happens again I'll just shut up, and not think too much and keep calm and carry on attitude.

I'm not sure what the big problem is here.

He's not going to hold a grudge about the are you sure response.

Why not just tell him you're there for him as a supportive ear whenever he wants to talk about this stuff, that is, IF you really feel that way ...

Actually it sounds like you really don't want this role. That could be a problem. If you really don't want the role, is it honest to act like you do?

You certainly did better than my parents anyway who responded by informing me that girls do oral too ...

I'm glad I didn't know that about girls I probably would have blurted that out, but I remember thinking who I could ask to take him to Soi Cowboy.

You're correct I don't want the role, who does? maybe it's because I never did the coming out thing and it seems kids nowadays do it with a splash or tears in his case.