You will never "find yourself" until you allow the Lord Jesus Christ to "find you".
Revelation 3:20
Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.
The void in your heart can only be filled by a personal relationship with your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. You must be willing to turn from your sin against your Creator God and place your God-given faith in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus. Then, begin to bury your head in the Word of God, for it is God's instruction book for how to live your life. The TRUTH will set you free and you will never again question who you are, your life's purpose and where you are going once you pass on. HE saved my life 35 years ago, and all of my questions about life have been answered and HE has never left me alone. HE can do the same for you!
II Timothy 1:12
For I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day.